Becoming a Good Bottom

[ErieBear]

Hey guys,

 

I'm still pretty new to gay sex, and I was just wondering, what makes a good bottom? What can I do to really turn a top on? Orally, anally, or any other way.

 

Thanks!

[JT Brooklyn]

Practice!

 

"Keep It Tight' Guy! Nobody wants a Holland Tunnel to Enter!

 

"Suck and Stroke" Real Slow...The Hoover Vaccum method doesn't work well on most...

[tom1980]

Hey guys,

 

I'm still pretty new to gay sex, and I was just wondering, what makes a good bottom? What can I do to really turn a top on? Orally, anally, or any other way.

 

Thanks!

 

In terms of turn ons, I think it can vary from guy to guy. But as a general rule, showing the guy that you are into him is likely to help and be a pretty big turn on. Whatever you do (whether it's kissing, sucking, licking, etc.) do it with passion.

 

As for anal bottoming skills, I agree that practice is key. Learn to control your sphincter muscles to the extent possible so that you can loosen and tighten them during sex. Doing so at the right time not only feels good for the top, it also increases your own pleasure.

[Sparky12]

If you're getting fucked, unless you're sure that the guy you're with just wants you to lay there, don't just lay there! Caress as much of his body as you can reach. Play with his nipples. Grab his ass and pull him in deeper. Show him through touch that you're really turned on and want him in you. This is one of the reasons that I like face to face the best. Maximum opportunities to turn each other on away from just the dick in ass thing. You can make out, and remember to tighten your ass on his dick. Reach under and stroke his balls too. A bottom doesn't have to passive!

[josephga]

Be clean. that mean douching as well as a good shower or bath. some guys don't care then there's some of us that will never go near you again if not properly clean.. even with cleaning accidents can happen but atlest some effort should be made

[robberbaron4u]

O. O. O. IT HURTS SO GOOD. O. O. O. STOP. STOP. O. O. O. NO. DON'T STOP. DEEPER. DEEPER. O. O. O. : !!! for . if it proves a particularly good lay in the going. . .

[Juan Vancouver]

Eriebear,

 

I am going to offer the other side and go against what has already been said.

 

Do not learn any tricks. Do not try to do things you assume the other would like. Do not be active or passive or tight or lose; tops, lovers, human beings are very, very different. We all like different things and regardless of how well you think you know what tops like, chances are your tricks won't work every time.

 

Focus on yourself.

 

Learn about your body. Learn to keep it healthy, clean, relaxed. Learn your limits and if you are curious about it, expand them in a safe way where you are the one in control. Play with yourself. Often. Learn to enjoy it.

 

Once you are a well oiled machine of your own pleasure, come to intimacy with open eyes, open ears, open heart and an open mind. Better than indiscriminately thrusting your various techniques unto your partner, take a good moment to feel him, breathe and sense all the signals he is sending your way, and from that connection, and honouring what you are, what you enjoy, how you like it, open yourself and listen to your combined desires playing off each other.

 

Suggest, honour his reaction, adapt, enjoy.

 

Repeat.

 

You don't need to speak in this process, your partner doesn't need to say a word, but if you are paying attention it will be incredibly evident what is it that your partner enjoys.

 

Lastly... surrender!

 

There is nothing more erotic, there is no aphrodisiac stronger than someone who is allowing himself or herself to experience delight. If you do this, it's not going to be you attacking your partner with "tricks" to shock him, it will be a perfectly symbiotic couple in which both partners are giving and receiving. Present. In pleasure.

 

Sure, listen to what other people think about sex, but learn about yourself first.

 

Only a lover who knows how to receive pleasure is ever ready to give it.

[maxwellissmart]

Learn about your body. Learn to keep it healthy, clean, relaxed. Learn your limits and if you are curious about it, expand them in a safe way where you are the one in control. Play with yourself. Often. Learn to enjoy it.

 

This is the best advice you can possibly follow—not merely to be a good bottom, but to be a better sexual partner all around.

[ErieBear]

Thank you all very, very much. I greatly appreciate all the good advice that I've received. Hopefully it will be helpful this weekend.

[raulgmanzo]

... what makes a good bottom?

 

Communication.

 

Don't be afraid to say (during or after) how something feels. As long as you aren't whining then feedback is good.

 

I know of a guy who has to stop playing and is sometimes out of commission for a long time because he thinks his role as a submissive bottom is to take whatever is given even to the point of getting hurt.

 

Oh and Juans advice to play with yourself is great advice for everybody in any role of any orientation.