Why after a relationship ends, the dating life that proceeds it is hell?

[jimboivyo]

But a real man wouldn't hide behind a name and claim to be incognito, whoever you are. I've dumped my alias obviously you're not man enough to do the same.

 

At the same time, I have a right to respond to what people have to say. If they can give their opinion, I can give mine back. If I didn't listen, I wouldn't have a response to make, right? You make no sense. In order to give a response, the person asking the question has to listen. It becomes a conversation, which obviously you can't do because you're childish, immature and like to stir up things because you can't even come into a conversation without insulting someone.

 

Are you jealous because I'm getting responses? Don't be. It's not that easy. See, I can have a conversation and respond to people calmly without getting riled up even they brush me the wrong way. But it's not going to change the way I feel about a certain situation. You jump in here on some unruly BS yet you can't even make a statement about the topic at hand. Just want to have something to say.

 

The title here says, A place to gather and exchange ideas. NO Politics, NO Religion, NO War. You're not going to deny my right to gather and exchange ideas. It doesn't say A place to gather ideas and shutup and just listen.

 

 

I say provide proof of what ever allegation you're making against me, otherwise it's hot air.

 

I am not jealous of an escort who always comes around here to complain about his lack of business savvy. I only make point that you sound young for your age and with some age might come some wisdom. You have a hair trigger on your temper and need to work on that. It's not a marketable personality trait.

[RexAll]

Over the past few months, I've reconnected with several old college friends. Two of them are teachers. One has a husband not able to work because of disability. The other one is still living with her husband- but they don't really talk- and I think she has told him that she wants a divorce sometime soon. I go out to eat with both of them. Sometimes all 4 of us- sometimes me and the two women- or more often just me and the one who wants a divorce. I know they don't make as much as I do- so I spring for the check. But in the past when I had other friends that I knew were doing ok- it didn't matter who asked whom out- we handled it in several ways- often we each payed our share- other times one of us payed the whole thing- and the next time the other one payed.

 

Rex

[justaguy]

With the second guy, you are in the right because you were up front before you left about who was suppose to pay. That being said, I also look at the situation. How drunk was this guy? Drunk enough not to check if he had enough to pay for both of you? Probably. Been there, done that...and ended up paying way more than my share of the tab. Lesson learned...these days I don't do spur of the moment outings after the achohol has been consumed.

 

The first instance is still unclear to me in the timing. Did you suggest you pay for the movie and he pay for dinner before or after you had eaten? Was he aware that you had planned to pay for the movie because you asked him to go see it? What I'm trying to determine is the social context.

 

As to the age thing. You consistantly voice a disdain bordering on contempt for the "older gentlemen" you date. How old are the two gentlemen in this thread? Twice your age? The age of a man you say you won't go out with and have to pay for your own dinner? If that's the case, you're not in "dating hell" so much as you're having trouble finding a good financial fit. It all depends on what you're looking for. If it's a sugar daddy, that's one thing. If it's a date in the more traditional romantic sense of the word, stop going out with men who are twice you age.

[jjkrkwood]

I think the whole point of Joeys Opus is that he is looking for a "Sugar Daddy" and NOT a loving, caring, monogamous relationship. I think his use of the word "Relationship" is misguided and frivolous. Hes's a rentboy with a rentboy personality and doesnt seem capable of separating that. Thats why everything to him boils down to "money". Why even bother to date? It seems ALL business for you anyway. He implies that "older" men are not capable of having the company of an attractive younger guy unless they PAY for it. A digusting and STUPID generalization. However, He's NOT embarrased to be seen in public with an OLD guy with a BIG wallet. (As if the public will know the size of the guys wallet). What a MORON.

 

I am not sure about the other members here, but Joey, if you were hoping to broaden your client base by participating on this site, you've FAILED with me. And I am an OLD guy WITH money !

 

Although YOU may think you are the Hottest commodity around, and guys just need to put up their wallets and the dollars will fly out, remember that an UGLY personality makes for an UGLY person...

[Phil_musc]

How to say this diplomatically and constructively? Joey, the OP, sounds a little young to me (but at my age I think a lot of guys sound a little young when they start talking about dating and relationships) and he comes with a certain amount of baggage that he might do well to lighten up on. But as we mature, it's amazing what we discover we don't need and also what we ultimately find rewarding and important. This is especially true in relationships. How many first marriages end in divorce simply because the parties were too young to appreciate the consequences of their actions. A lot of those first time losers make a go of it the second time around when they've gotten some emotional maturity and maybe a bit more stability in their lives. Of course this is somewhat irrelevant to the OP's thread. But is it really? True, no where does he mention marriage (probably is the furthest thing from anyone's mind) but instead we are considering dating and some sort of relationship with a man who at least chronologically is more mature. But we all know Bozos who are 40+ who haven't learned anything about relationships in the 20 or so years that they've been dabbling at them, and these guys are probably no more emotionally mature than most guys in their 20's. Meeting people off the internet is maybe sort of an interesting challenge, but it's kind of like speed dating in which you make a snap decision on whether you'll go out with someone (I have straight friends who have told me about this). Just how much can you really learn about a guy from an internet profile anyway? Probably best to go into that sort of thing eyes wide open and have zero expectations. I still think there are a lot of decent guys out there who are looking, but hormones play a part in this game too. And everybody has their own baggage too that may not mesh. If this makes no sense, it's because I'm just about through with my glass of single malt scotch. Don't hold it against me.

[citylaw1]

Joey, I don't know you at all so I bring no back story to this. But your comments do reveal a mindset that seems a little opportunistic and not really very nice to the older guy who you were dating. You seem to me to be carrying your escort mentality into another arena where it is not necessarily appropriate. Then too you may be assuming a lot - specifically the idea that you were eye candy and a trophy for him to have on his arm. Even in the straight world the concept of who pays on a date has evolved with women's liberation. My question would be why did you even go out with the guy in the first place - your comments make it sound like you went into the situation with the mindset that you would be taken car of - he may be looking at you more as an equal or peer than that, regardless of the difference in your ages. Please - no offense is meant here, and I should probably take time to nuance my ideas more- but as a rough first impression, this is okay. I'm impressed that you would actually see a guy who I would imagine is in the client age bracket and see him as dating material, yet you also see him as a quasi-client. Yet, I do feel for you and your situation - if I were you I would probably be feeling the same way - when I was much younger, I sorta figured older guys who took me out would pay too. All I can say at this point is I'm sooo glad I'm not dating (have been in a relationship for over thirty years at this point)- there are just so many pitfalls, miscues, etc. Good luck and I hope you find someone - it would be good for you.

 

Very well said!

[robberbaron4u]

My dear boy, perhaps the old codgers, having experienced the thing that is Joey Bryant, determined they didn't want to buy the proverbial "pig in a poke". . ."reality", if you will, is that, often, we are not the amusing, "drop-dead gorgeous" being that we think ourselves to be in life, and, thereby, enitlted to a "free ride" by virtue of affording someone the "privilege" of our company. Lastly, as a prudent measure, I would caution you to "cut the crap" that you are dishing Old Folk in your obvious disdain of them; after all, they constitute your "market"; I daresay more than a few of tbe old trolls can read between the lines. . .

[robberbaron4u]

Or, perhaps, Joey, you have become the old troll in the thing and your "dates" anticipated you paying their tab; time waits for no man. . .

[+ nycman]

I think the old farts you were dating just decided that the young "stud" was in fact a young "dud".

 

They cut their losses and figured that even the price of dinner at Denny's was too high a price to pay.

 

Joey, in all seriousness, you need to take a good look in the mirror. I've never expected anyone to pay

for my meal. Ever. And yes, I've BEEN arm candy and I've HAD arm candy. I know exactly where you're

coming from, but it's not a good place. It's also not a place where one should even begin to think about

about having a real relationship.

 

If you are thinking in terms of dollars and cents, you are thinking about business, not relationships.

 

I frequently go to dinner with men who could be my grandfather. Yes, they all have more money than god.

Nonetheless, I always make sure I am prepared to pay my own way and I often pick up the full tab. Why?

Because I enjoy their company. Do they enjoy having dinner with a man 1/2 their age? I'm sure they do.

Do they get a thrill when the "young stud" pays for their dinner? I fucking hope so. Nothing would give me

more joy. It honestly baffles me that you think they should PAY for that privilege.

 

Let me tell you from experince...you will send many more days flying in private jets all over the world,

if you stop EXPECTING other people to pay to send time with you. The dividends on relationships

pay off much more than the price of a freaking meal at Denny's....if you're willing to invest.

 

If you care who's paying, you have already sold your soul for less than it's worth.

[JoeyBryant]

Let me tell you from experince...you will send many more days flying in private jets all over the world,

if you stop EXPECTING other people to pay to send time with you. The dividends on relationships

pay off much more than the price of a freaking meal at Denny's....if you're willing to invest.

 

If you care who's paying, you have already sold your soul for less than it's worth.

 

Okay...it's the last day of the month so before the month is over I'm going to clean this up right quick. Before I go, because you know I don't like leaving things open.

 

Okay, 1st of all, if you choose to go out with men as old as your grandfather that's your business. Maybe you're in your 50s or what not, which is not as different as a person in their 20s dating a 40s guy. The older people get, the less the age disparity becomes. I'll go a little further and say if a guy is as old as your grandfather, perhaps 80 or 90 years old...then it almost becomes out of courtesy to pay for the elderly.

 

2nd of all, if a guy can't even afford to 'freaking' pay for a meal and all they can do is put down a measly $20, how much more possible is it that they can afford to take me jet setting? That makes no sense.

 

3rd of all, I find most of the older men I've come across and dated in their 40s that do stuff like put down their share of the meal and leave me hanging, never end up going on future dates anyway. It's almost a sign when a guy that age cheaps out on a date, he's doing it because he wants to invest the bare minimum into the 'relationship'. They know it looks bad. They know that putting down a small bill on the table after dinner looks cheap and embarrassing and is basically a slap in the face. They don't care about how I feel because they don't plan to meet up again. I can name times where it has happened:

• Several months ago, I met with a guy where we went to a gourmet pizza place. I was attracted to him. He was like 42 or something. We met at a bar. It was our 3rd date. On that date after the meal, he put down a few dollars for his share and I gladly paid my share. But then that was our last date because turns out he was seeing someone. I'm sure the younger guy he told me he was seeing, he was probably paying his way, hence being broke on this date. I don't want crumbs.
   
  
• The other guy I met recently who I mentioned here, did a similar thing. Wanted to go half-sees on dinner even though I paid for the movie, Which again I've never had to pay for a guy in his 40s to go to a movie. But I gladly did it. That was over 2 weeks ago and he hasn't even hinted towards meeting up again.
  

 

 

So you see, it's not JUST about getting a meal ticket or JUST about expecting them to pay for everything. I really don't see how any of you can't see that. It just makes no sense for me to be going out with a bunch of broke ass older men that spend their time trolling free hookup sites everyday for years and years, you see their same profile online all the time, all they want to do is bend over, spread their hole wide open and get fucked...and then cheap out. Obviously they don't respect me enough to get to know me.

 

They want escort service, but they don't want to pay for it. They want me to come over at the drop of a hat, bend em over and fuck em after 15 minutes but not have to give up anything for it. But yet I'm supposed to sit back and just go with the flow when meantime there's guys willing to pay $200-1,200 for the same thing? What kind of person with what kind of self-esteem would I be if I dated someone like that on the pretense of, "well everyone has to pay their share"?

 

No, I can just date guys my own age and meet the older clients who understand that being generous isn't about looks but is so much more than that for reasons that I don't need to reiterate.

[jjkrkwood]

Okay...it's the last day of the month so before the month is over I'm going to clean this up right quick. Before I go, because you know I don't like leaving things open.

 

Okay, 1st of all, if you choose to go out with men as old as your grandfather that's your business. Maybe you're in your 50s or what not, which is not as different as a person in their 20s dating a 40s guy. The older people get, the less the age disparity becomes.

 

2nd of all, if a guy can't even afford to 'freaking' pay for a meal and all they can do is put down a measly $20, how much more possible is it that they can afford to take me jet setting? That makes no sense.

 

3rd of all, I find most of the older men I've come across and dated in their 40s that do stuff like put down their share of the meal and leave me hanging, never end up going on future dates anyway. It's almost a sign when a guy that age cheaps out on a date, he's doing it because he wants to invest the bare minimum into the 'relationship'. They know it looks bad. They know that putting down a small bill on the table after dinner looks cheap and embarrassing and is basically a slap in the face. They don't care about how I feel because they don't plan to meet up again. I can name times where it has happened:

• Several months ago, I met with a guy where we went to a gourmet pizza place. I was attracted to him. He was like 42 or something. We met at a bar. It was our 3rd date. On that date after the meal, he put down a few dollars for his share and I gladly paid my share. But then that was our last date because turns out he was seeing someone. I'm sure the younger guy he told me he was seeing, he was probably paying his way, hence being broke on this date. I don't want crumbs.
   
  
• The other guy I met recently who I mentioned here, did a similar thing. Wanted to go half-sees on dinner even though I paid for the movie, Which again I've never had to pay for a guy in his 40s to go to a movie. But I gladly did it. That was over 2 weeks ago and he hasn't even hinted towards meeting up again.
  

 

 

So you see, it's not JUST about getting a meal ticket or JUST about expecting them to pay for everything. I really don't see how any of you can't see that. It just makes no sense for me to be going out with a bunch of broke ass older men that spend their time trolling free hookup sites everyday for years and years, you see their same profile online all the time, all they want to do is bend over, spread their hole wide open and get fucked...and then cheap out. Obviously they don't respect me enough to get to know me.

 

They want escort service, but they don't want to pay for it. They want me to come over at the drop of a hat, bend em over and fuck em after 15 minutes but not have to give up anything for it. But yet I'm supposed to sit back and just go with the flow when meantime there's guys willing to pay $200-1,200 for the same thing? What kind of person with what kind of self-esteem would I be if I dated someone like that on the pretense of, "well everyone has to pay their share"?

 

No, I can just date guys my own age and meet the older clients who understand that being generous isn't about looks but is so much more than that for reasons that I don't need to reiterate.

 

 

 

Joey, however you try to spin your post, you are still coming off looking like an opportunist RENTBOY and not a person who is looking for a loving relationship. You keep implying that the person YOU are entitles you to have the guys you date PAY. Age aside, why shouldnt YOU pay for a date regardless of what the other guys finances are ? Or if you are that concerned about paying for someone else, go Dutch while you are getting to know each other and seeing if there is a future for you Both. If its really about the person and the connection, and NOT the money it shouldnt matter. But you continue to put a price on everything, so its really no surprise that it doesnt work out for you with the guys you date. They can see thru you like a "clear vinyl shower curtain"..... and when you say you cant see yourself going out with broke ass guys that troll websites for sex, HELLO, you are a friggin Hooker and they date you, so enuf with that crap already..... You have neither clarified nor corrected your previous post in my opinion. But you have dug yourself a deeper grave. Enjoy the solitude...

 

And actually I thought you had already left the site? So would this make it your Final-final resignation from the site ? Or are there MORE Finals coming?

[bigvalboy]

I can't believe I am saying this, but jj is absolutely correct!! I wouldn't change a word. And Joey for the record, I am not always being mean to you, but the truth is painful to hear sometime....

[BewareofNick]

Joey, however you try to spin your post, you are still coming off looking like an opportunist RENTBOY and not a person who is looking for a loving relationship. You keep implying that the person YOU are entitles you to have the guys you date PAY. Age aside, why shouldnt YOU pay for a date regardless of what the other guys finances are ? Or if you are that concerned about paying for someone else, go Dutch while you are getting to know each other and seeing if there is a future for you Both. If its really about the person and the connection, and NOT the money it shouldnt matter. But you continue to put a price on everything, so its really no surprise that it doesnt work out for you with the guys you date. They can see thru you like a "clear vinyl shower curtain"..... and when you say you cant see yourself going out with broke ass guys that troll websites for sex, HELLO, you are a friggin Hooker and they date you, so enuf with that crap already..... You have neither clarified nor corrected your previous post in my opinion. But you have dug yourself a deeper grave. Enjoy the solitude...

 

And actually I thought you had already left the site? So would this make it your Final-final resignation from the site ? Or are there MORE Finals coming?

 

Well said.

 

Joey seems to believe that his physical beauty makes him somewhat superior to others and the only way an older man can compensate for that is through money. He makes that quite clear through his arm candy comments. Joey is a textbook example of the main issue with the last few generations of parents: kids with very high self esteem but little consideration for the feelings of others.

 

What Joey seems to want is to be a sugar baby without others seeing him as a sugar baby, which as JJ points out is more obvious than that mole Austin Powers was obsessed with.

 

Here's the thing Joey really needs to consider: why are the only older men that you attract outside of hooking are the ones who "spend their time trolling free hookup sites everyday for years and years, you see their same profile online all the time, all they want to do is bend over, spread their hole wide open and get fucked...and then cheap out." ?

 

Why are you unable to attract older men of quality? I'd say that's more of a commentary on you than them. Why can't we see your point? We do see your point. It's just that you're wrong.

[josephga]

The younger guys that contact me never care about this stuff. If they ask me out they pay. I ask them out I pay or sometimes just cook for them here. I must be crazy Just want monogamy and affection from someone I'm involved with. I don't keep score cards or care about all this tit for tat

[Guest countryboywny]

The younger guys that contact me never care about this stuff. If they ask me out they pay. I ask them out I pay or sometimes just cook for them here. I must be crazy Just want monogamy and affection from someone I'm involved with. I don't keep score cards or care about all this tit for tat

 

You have class, Joseph.

[Bosguy]

The younger guys that contact me never care about this stuff. If they ask me out they pay. I ask them out I pay or sometimes just cook for them here. I must be crazy Just want monogamy and affection from someone I'm involved with. I don't keep score cards or care about all this tit for tat

 

That's exactly the way it should be regardless of the type of date it is. I can't believe that it comes down to an issue of who's paying for what at Denny's. If that's the case, stay home and use the microwave.

 

Boston Bill

[Epigonos]

Guys it's time to put this thread to bed. Let's move on.

[bigvalboy]

Guys it's time to put this thread to bed. Let's move on.

 

But Epigonos..it was to bed, Then Joey turned on the light and woke everybody up. The previous post was 17 hours earlier, and before that it had been 2 days, I would say it had been put to bed.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Guys it's time to put this thread to bed. Let's move on.

 

Amen, Epigonos.

[bigvalboy]

LBT...sent you a pm.

[Epigonos]

Bigvalboy you are absolutely correct. I should have said: Guys it's time to put this thread to bed AGAIN. Let's move one.

[bigvalboy]

Bigvalboy you are absolutely correct. I should have said: Guys it's time to put this thread to bed AGAIN. Let's move one.

 

Good night, now I'm goin to bed...lol

[JoeyBryant]

Here's the thing Joey really needs to consider: why are the only older men that you attract outside of hooking are the ones who "spend their time trolling free hookup sites everyday for years and years, you see their same profile online all the time, all they want to do is bend over, spread their hole wide open and get fucked...and then cheap out." ?

 

Why are you unable to attract older men of quality? I'd say that's more of a commentary on you than them. Why can't we see your point? We do see your point. It's just that you're wrong.

 

I'll gladly answer that in it's entirety.

 

1st off, I have attracted quality older men for years. In fact, I have dated many older men who would do whatever they could: out to dinner, movies, shopping...but the only thing they wouldn't give is money.

 

The relationship that ended as in the title of this thread, don't you know that for 4 months I never had to pay for a single thing whenever we went out? Why should I? This guy made more money than me, was single, had no kids or anything. If anything, he was glad to take me out every week. It didn't work out because he had an issue communicating his wants and needs, and decided to at the end.

 

The men that I mention on hookup sites seem to be the majority of men I meet out in my area. See, where I grew up in Florida, it was different. You would hardly ever meet a younger Black guy going out on dates and being involved with older White men unless there was some sort of conditional agreement going on. It was always the older White guy wanted his daily or couple times weekly sex while the Black guy expected the older White guy to provide a place to live and other extras.

 

You would never see a younger Black guy, especially one as attractive as me; dating an older White guy just for the hell of it. Period. That's just the reality of it. I'm not saying I agree with it or condone it, but that's what it is. Why would I want to spend months and years dating an older White guy that doesn't go out to bars, doesn't enjoy the same things I do, basically works all day and comes home and lie in bed and then just wants to be fucked when I could be dating someone my age who's a hell of a lot closer to my type? I personally support myself to the point I don't need to rely on 1 older White guy to support me. I've had offers but turned down everyone of them because I don't want to quit escorting or move in with someone else.

 

White people do the same thing. I used to live in Texas and would see all these blond bimbos out with these older cowboys. You really think those bitches were fucking paying their own way? No, and I'm sure they wouldn't be messing with no broke asses either. Hell, the stuff I'm asking for is small stuff. Those girls won't even date a guy who doesn't drive a Mercedes or Corvette. I know because I used to know girls like that.

 

This stuff that I'm talking about, they wouldn't even think twice about going on a date with some of these jokers. Look, if the relationship works for those who like those kind of relationships, then let it be. Stop being all offended. It's nothing to do with thinking older guys have to pay for stuff just to enjoy a younger guy/girls company. It's just that I don't want to be in a relationship with someone older where I have to pay my own on dates. That's a personal decision and I have a right to meet people like that.

 

That's exactly the way it should be regardless of the type of date it is. I can't believe that it comes down to an issue of who's paying for what at Denny's. If that's the case, stay home and use the microwave.

 

Boston Bill

 

OK people keep giving me flack about the whole Denny's ordeal. I mentioned that because that was 1 scenario. Also, the fact that it was such a cheap meal and that the guy couldn't even muster paying that even though earlier that day I cooked him lunch and had plenty of snacks at home AND he initiated wanting to go there to begin with. Earlier that day, he wanted to go halves on a bottle of vodka for New Years. Like huh????????????????? I don't do that. I had to force him to buy the bottle and then I bought a bottle of champagne. Don't be cheap with me in public or you will get dumped!

 

I don't want to date someone twice my age where we have to break everything even. I never had to deal with it and I won't start now.

[JoeyBryant]

HELLO, you are a friggin Hooker and they date you, so enuf with that crap already..... You have neither clarified nor corrected your previous post in my opinion. But you have dug yourself a deeper grave. Enjoy the solitude...

 

And actually I thought you had already left the site? So would this make it your Final-final resignation from the site ? Or are there MORE Finals coming?

 

Because there's still more things I need to make clear about this subject. I can go on with this subject forever. But after today I'm just going to leave it be.

 

And obviously you need to get help. You sound like an ill man to be calling escorts 'hookers'. Any client that refers to escorts as hookers need to be psycho analyzed. You're a sick man. I don't even know why you're here if your main goal is to demoralize 'hookers'.

[MiamiLooker]

Is it any wonder that you seem to have relationship problems? Your posts are whiney and negative, the same as your blog.

 

BTW, re your blog, "bought" is not a synonym for "brought".