why cant escorts answer a simple question ?

[Guest coolguy]

I have been noticing this a lot. Whenever I asked an escort, r u hiv - ? they reply with we always play safe. Is that a YES or a NO ? I mean why cant u just tell if u r or no. I have had this experience even with a few of the best ones like lucas young from chicago , or masseur from newyork barack.

[EastbayMike]

Maybe it's just none of your business? Anyway, how is the answer going to change your actions? Will you have unsafe sex if they tell you they are negative? (And if so, why would you believe a total stranger? And why should they trust you if you tell them you're negative?) Don't you just assume everyone is positive and act accordingly? I really don't understand the HIV-/HIV+ bareback/safe sex issue on this board. All us should be free to make our own decisions on what risks we're willing to take when it comes to sex. I never ask anyone their status. The results of a test are only as good as an individual's last sexual encounter anyway.

[JoeyBryant]

Maybe it's just none of your business? Anyway, how is the answer going to change your actions? Will you have unsafe sex if they tell you they are negative? (And if so, why would you believe a total stranger? And why should they trust you if you tell them you're negative?) Don't you just assume everyone is positive and act accordingly? I really don't understand the HIV-/HIV+ bareback/safe sex issue on this board. All us should be free to make our own decisions on what risks we're willing to take when comes to sex. I never ask anyone their status. The results of a test are only as good as an individual's last sexual encounter anyway.

 

Exactly. Saying "I play safe" is a way to let the person know that number 1 we aren't going there regardless of yours or my status. It's an answer, but it's a cut-off answer. Like if someone asks a married person on a date. They won't say, "yes or no", they'll just say, I'm married. And boom, that cuts the whole conversation. Hopefully the person picks up the clue (unless it's a swingers club, just speaking generally here)

 

I think many clients ask those questions without revealing their own selves. For example: "Are you clean, disease free?" Yeah, and what about you? Takes 2 to tango, I'm just as concerned about you as you are about me.

[+ deej]

Exactly. Saying "I play safe" is a way to let the person know that number 1 we aren't going there regardless of yours or my status. It's an answer, but it's a cut-off answer. Like if someone asks a married person on a date. They won't say, "yes or no", they'll just say, I'm married. And boom, that cuts the whole conversation. Hopefully the person picks up the clue (unless it's a swingers club, just speaking generally here)

 

I think many clients ask those questions without revealing their own selves. For example: "Are you clean, disease free?" Yeah, and what about you? Takes 2 to tango, I'm just as concerned about you as you are about me.

 

http://www.dfapam.com/pics/applause.gif

 

You'll probably get a shitload of negativity for your honesty, but this does pretty much say it all.

 

Well done!

[+ purplekow]

While I can see where answering this question forthrightly might cost business to someone who is positive, if asked I think an honest answer should be given but not expected. . I can also see where answering this question when one is negative can lead to a prolonged discussion one does not want to have. If i replied I was tested two weeks ago and am negative, it could lead to being asked to bareback or to perform other unsafe activities. I play safe should be enough but a i was tested two weeks ago, i am negative and I only play safe covers all the bases.

[jjkrkwood]

Its YOUR responsibility to take control of yourself and your own behavior. When having sex with ANY person, its always smart to PLAY safe. Even if a person is truthful about themselves, they may NOT know their status. If you are fearful of potentially hooking up with HIV+ individuals, the only foolproof way to avoid it is to NOT have sex at all with anyone. How realistic is that? You need to make choices for yourself, and not put the owness on others to be informative and forthright. Its really none of our business...

[SteveEscort]

I am HIV neg, I just got my results back a few weeks ago but if someone asked me outright if I was I feel it's only fair that they declare their status first.

 

I've heard it all over the years "Steve I'm married so ultra safe". Is his wife safe ? and how many others has he said it to ? One guy who told me I was in safe hands went to swinging clubs and had sex with 20 people a night. Blimey, that makes an escort's working week look like a teddy bears picnic.

 

A few years back I had a client who developed a sore willy, he phoned me begging to get checked out and supply the results. I told him I was completely clear and he accused me of being a diseased rat and would not be satisfied until he was shown clear printed test results. I told him to f**k off and get tested himself. He phoned me back 2 weeks later telling me he was clear and it was just basically a sore dick. Why did he presume just because he'd been with a sex worker that I was capable of passing on an infection to him. I'm more likely to obtain an infection from a client than vice versa.

[justaguy]

I agree with Joey on this one: the answer "I always play safe" obviates a client wanting to bareback. The assumption, no matter what anyone says, should be that he is positive. That's what it means to play responsibly.

[Steven_Draker]

I think I understand what's the issue here. Certain people in addition of playing safe need to have this additional 'peace of mind' that their partner is negative.

 

Some like Merlin2 would look for various signs in escort ads, others like the OP will ask directly the question "Are you negative?" (note that the question is rarely "Are you positive?")

 

I understand that failing to answer directly leads to different speculations, hence some may respond with what you want to hear.

 

When I meet someone for a first time, I don't ask the question, because I don't need the 'peace of mind' in addition to the CONDOM.

 

After being in this industry for that long I managed to stay HIV-negative and STD-free. I think it's very important for a good escort to take safer sex and STD issues seriously for the sake of his health and the health of those he's seeing.

 

And before someone asks me I was last tested for HIV and STDs on October 14th (and can prove it).

_____________________

 

GET TESTED REGULARLY. KNOW YOUR STATUS.

[jjkrkwood]

I think I understand what's the issue here. Certain people in addition of playing safe need to have this additional 'peace of mind' that their partner is negative.

 

Some like Merlin2 would look for various signs in escort ads, others like the OP will ask directly the question "Are you negative?" (note that the question is rarely "Are you positive?")

 

I understand that failing to answer directly leads to different speculations, hence some may respond with what you want to hear.

 

When I meet someone for a first time, I don't ask the question, because I don't need the 'peace of mind' in addition to the CONDOM.

 

After being in this industry for that long I managed to stay HIV-negative and STD-free. I think it's very important for a good escort to take safer sex and STD issues seriously for the sake of his health and the health of those he's seeing.

 

And before someone asks me I was last tested for HIV and STDs on October 14th (and I can prove it). [/color]

_____________________

 

GET TESTED REGULARLY. KNOW YOUR STATUS.

 

Even if you get the answer YOU want to hear, can you really EVER be certain ??? ALWAYS best to excersize caution, which has been said, over and over and over again here and other places....

[bluboy]

Actually i ask this in the moment and i have been told sevral times that "i am posotive." i like the taste of cum so i say as we are fast and furious..are you negative becquse i want to drink your jizz but i am negative and many escorts have told me they were posotive. So in the moment i find is better than before they have met u. Yes i still hire many of those who are positive but i do take extta care and i dont drink the jizz. Am i risking the liar sure but really on that level of rosk i am willing to take to taste some of that yum yum! I am still negative as of august, 2011. Bluboy

[jjkrkwood]

Actually i ask this in the moment and i have been told sevral times that "i am posotive." i like the taste of cum so i say as we are fast and furious..are you negative becquse i want to drink your jizz but i am negative and many escorts have told me they were posotive. So in the moment i find is better than before they have met u. Yes i still hire many of those who are positive but i do take extta care and i dont drink the jizz. Am i risking the liar sure but really on that level of rosk i am willing to take to taste some of that yum yum! I am still negative as of august, 2011. Bluboy

 

Well, I really dont know what to say about THIS reply, so Ill remain silent.

[seeker630]

Well, I really dont know what to say about THIS reply, so Ill remain silent.

 

Well...almost!

[jjkrkwood]

Well...almost!

 

Oh come on Seeker, you know for me, that post was a major coup ! Thats as silent as I will EVER be...

[seeker630]

Oh come on Seeker, you know for me, that post was a major coup ! Thats as silent as I will EVER be...

JJK, believe it or not, that was said with a grin. A gentle nudge in the ribs, not a kick in the balls.

 

It was indeed a show of restraint!

[seaboy4hire]

I have been noticing this a lot. Whenever I asked an escort, r u hiv - ? they reply with we always play safe. Is that a YES or a NO ? I mean why cant u just tell if u r or no. I have had this experience even with a few of the best ones like lucas young from chicago , or masseur from newyork barack.

 

As someone who is poz and open about it I'm going to toss my half cents worth into the pot. I've had a few people tell me over the years I've been escorting I shouldn't be open about my status because it can hurt my biz. While this is some what true I do lose clients when they find out my status I've also gained clients because of my frank honesty about it. I feel that everyone should be on the same page, it's only fair. There needs to be more open communication about ones status because even today there's a lot of misinformation floating around. I've been asked if one can get it from kissing to sharing silverwear. There's also a huge stigma from being poz. I hope that me being honest and informing folk that at least I am making some sort of positive contribution. And for those that say or think I should leave the biz I say FUCK YOU! I ain't goin no weres

 

Hugs,

Greg

[JoeyBryant]

I'm more likely to obtain an infection from a client than vice versa.

 

All I'm going to say is, that's true...It's just weird odds. Client sees 2 escorts in 1 weekend. 1 escort may have a cheating boyfriend (and they do unprotected sex) that he slept with prior to the client. Guy passes something to client. Client hires another escort the next night and then...well there you go.

 

However, couple of times I went to a party a client was hosting; and I was almost POSITIVE (no pun intended) that there may be someone who might be unlucky. But generally people at these parties attend because it's their only opportunity outside whatever routine they have. Fortunently neither time had anything sprung up.

 

Yes i still hire many of those who are positive but i do take extta care and i dont drink the jizz. Am i risking the liar sure but really on that level of rosk i am willing to take to taste some of that yum yum! I am still negative as of august, 2011. Bluboy

 

You can't really get it that easily just from swallowing jizz. There's no blood stream in your digestive system (unless it's in your ass). That explains why you're still negative.

[Steven_Draker]

You can't really get it that easily just from swallowing jizz.

 

I think we should be more careful before giving such assessment. What does that mean "You can't really get it" ?!?

 

The Center of Disease Control and Prevention emphasizes on the fact that:

 

Even though the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex is much lower than that of anal or vaginal sex, numerous studies

have demonstrated that oral sex can result in the transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) .

 

source: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/oralsex.htm

 

Swallowing represents a higher risk. I'm not judging the behavior, but I believe that misinformation can be dangerous,

 

as everyone should be aware that there's a RISK, that has been longtime overlooked by many.

 

Knowledge is power.

 

(I'm sorry if that sounded too educational.)

[SteveEscort]

 

as everyone should be aware that there's a RISK, that has been longtime overlooked by many.

 

Knowledge is power.

 

[/color]

 

There is a risk yes and knowledge is power, you might find the link below of interest. It's a risk I am happy in taking though when sucking off a client.

 

http://www.spectrum-health.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=83&Itemid=200

[seeker630]

Swallowing represents a higher risk. I'm not judging the behavior, but I believe that misinformation can be dangerous,

 

as everyone should be aware that there's a RISK, that has been longtime overlooked by many.

 

Knowledge is power.

 

(I'm sorry if that sounded too educational.)[/color]

 

When the experts talk about oral sex, they are talking about oral-genital contact, not just swallowing. Just having the cum in your mouth is risky, if there is access to your bloodstream through an ulcer, a tear or cut in your gums, etc. I have read advice not to floss vigorously before oral sex.

 

We all make our own decisions about what level is acceptable.

[Steven_Draker]

When the experts talk about oral sex, they are talking about oral-genital contact, not just swallowing.

 

Does "swallowing" represents a higher or lower risk than "oral-genital contact" for you, seeker?

[zeyfur]

It s risk I am willing to take with the handsome mr draker and would happily swallow his jizz

[Guest Merlin]

To answer the initial question, an escort may not want to say yes I am positive to a stranger because it can amount to a public announcement. He may think that if safe sex is used it is not relevant or anybody's business.

What I have sometime done in my initial inquiry is say this: "I will not ask the question, but I will say that I would not hire someone whom I did not believe to be disease free." Sometimes I get no answer back. Sometimes they assure me they are negative, sometimes the question is ignored, buy they come back with arrangements. He may lie but at least he is not put into the position of either lying or making an announcement he does not choose to make.

Of course one should always assume his is positive and use safer sex. But sex is never completely safe--accidents happen--so I like the additional safety of avoiding those I know or believe to be positive.

[jjkrkwood]

Of course one should always assume his is positive and use safer sex. But sex is never completely safe--accidents happen--so I like the additional safety of avoiding those I know or believe to be positive.

 

You could therefore be avoiding the entire population of the World, except for those who have NEVER had Sex....

[Guest ChgoBoy]

you might find the link below of interest. It's a risk I am happy in taking though when sucking off a client.

 

http://www.spectrum-health.net/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=83&Itemid=200

 

Utilizing or applying lottery and casino house-style odds to the likelihood of transmission of a deadly virus through sexual activity is just folly and deceptive in my opinion. It can provide one with a "well, what are the chances if I just do this once" false-sense of safety when the odds are, say, 5 out of 1000. The average person might view those odds as pretty much in their favor.

 

Odds have always been a mathematical calculation, based upon a certain constant - with a side-dish of luck factored in. When it comes to sexual activity, and all of the variants connected to such activity, relying upon these type odds and stats are are more dangerous than helpful in my opinion.

 

Calculating your chance at contracting HIV/AIDS through a "what are the odds type mentality" will more than likely come back to haunt you in the end. Because of it.