There is a such thing as a right and wrong way to have sex...

[Mocha]

Last night I had the pleasure of enduring one of the most lackluster appointments with a client in a long time. I mean, I'm talking about I haven't had such a disappointing appointment in nearly 2 years.

 

Basically what happened is I walked in the room and as a sat down to undress and get comfortable, the client is already groping me...but it was in the coldest, distance way possible. It's like he went straight towards groping my cock while I had my pants still on which does not turn me on at all. I told him to let's comfortable first, get some melodies going first.

 

So once I'm all undressed, he just shoves his cock into my mouth barely really touching me to get myself turned on. In addition, there were 3 bright lights on in the room which certainly didn't make it feel romantic. I didn't realize it was bothering me until towards the end of the session.

 

Then, after several minutes of having my mouth full he wants to flip me over and fuck me. Now, I state that I am a top who mostly top sometimes versatile. Which means more than likely I don't get fucked too often. Well...as he's putting it in, he pumps a few times and then pulls out saying it's not going to work, I'm too tight.

 

I'm saying to myself...whatever happened to working it in? I'm supposed to just be some lose holed guy with a gaping hole ready to take your cock? I've had fairly large guys fuck me before and I may have been tight at the start but they knew how to loosen it up rather than just give up.

 

So then, we start jerking each other off instead. He takes some poppers. And we all know what poppers does to you down there. So then after a few minutes he loses his hard and then just says he has an early day tomorrow and that it's not working. The smell of the poppers and his lack of arousal towards me also made me lose my hard on. I offer to extend a massage, but he declines.

 

I did make sure I got the money squared away because I have been in situations like this where the client does absolutely nothing to ensure I'm aroused, and then they can't stay hard for whatever reason and then try to pin it on me and try to send me home either empty handed or with something ridiculous like $40. And I wanted to make sure that wasn't going to happen.

 

What would be your general mode of action in a case like this? I always get totally flustered when it does happen but at the same time I realize sometimes the compatibility just isn't there. Usually I'll offer to stop midway and do something to get us turned on like a massage, more oral, kissing, something. But this guy didn't even want to do that. Sometimes tops like to hire tops because of the excitement of fucking a top. It can work out, but that top has to understand that they are going to have to suck some dick or something to get that top aroused. And many tops don't want to be bothered to do that and then wonder why the ass isn't loosened up enough. Well you haven't gotten me hard enough to really be able to loosen up my ass to take your cock...I can't take a cock up my ass if I'm not hard first. That's about as pleasurable as shoving a broom handle up my butt.

[+ Travis69]

Not sure if you know, but was he a married man? Many guys have told me married men are very chaotic in bed. They know nothing about seduction, taking it slow. Most gay men have sex down to a art form. They suck well, fuck well and have enough experience with different men to know how to make the sex good for all concerned. Not your typical closeted married man.

[Phil_musc]

Actually, my experience with married men has been just the opposite: they are used to a fair amount of foreplay to get things heated up, they kiss well and tend to be more sensual than many gay men who might be more animalistic (which has it's place also. . . ), and they seem to care about how their partners are doing. Maybe I've been lucky?

[wayout]

My question would be how much discussion there was in advance for expectations and how the encounter should proceed? You mention you need to be hard to be fucked so was that clearly communicated to him and that he would have to participate in helping you get hard for that part of the encounter? Both need to be fully engaged in planning for an effective fun time and I suspect that this may have not happened on one side or maybe even both sides.

[jjkrkwood]

I have commented on this type of situation before, and believe some clients perception is that THEY ARE PAYING, so its their party, the escort is just a tool for their enjoyment, and they have purchased the right to treat the escort anyway they choose. Of course this is ludicrous, but these types cannot be reasoned with. Since you were uncomfortable from the start ans sensed it wasnt gonna work anyway, maybe you should have bowed out gracefully, asked the client to compensate you for your travel time etc and end it there. And if the client asks for further explanation, communicate with him what you expect from the session, and if can abide, the session will continue. I stand by communication ALWAYS being the key. And since Talk is Cheap, use it....

[+ Gar1eth]

Not sure if you know, but was he a married man? Many guys have told me married men are very chaotic in bed. They know nothing about seduction, taking it slow. Most gay men have sex down to a art form. They suck well, fuck well and have enough experience with different men to know how to make the sex good for all concerned. Not your typical closeted married man.

 

Omigosh. Here all these years I thought I was gay. But I'm lousy at sex. I must be straight. But wait, I don't like females-- now I am sadly confused.

 

G

[Zapped]

Well, at least you got paid! Back when I was young and had lots of pick-up recreational sex, sometimes it was horrible, and all I got out of it was relief that it was over.

 

Work sometimes really sucks for everyone. Clients and customers in every business and profession are sometimes assholes. This guy's behavior sounds awful. My sense from reading your account is that he is most likely conflicted about his sexuality, uncomfortable with himself, and therefore uncomfortable and awkward with sexual partners. And he may have something like Asperger's Syndrome where he doesn't sense what's going on with other people.

 

Every once in a while an encounter is going to be a disaster.

 

In his autobiography, the famous violinist Yehudi Menuhin wrote about playing a recital in Italy. He felt he had played very badly, and experienced great guilt when he was presented with his fee, which came in the form of an enormous pile of lira notes (the Italian currency before the Euro). he wanted to give it back, or give it away.

 

Later in his hotel, he decided that when he played well, it was so enjoyable he'd do it for free. Playing badly was so unpleasant that it was real work. Long, embarrassing, hard work. That he needed to get paid for.

 

I think you earned your money with this client!

[+ Shoreboy]

As a client I have had similar experiences with escorts whereby they are barely in the door when they are dropping their pants and pushing me to my knees without even saying hello....very mechanical and it felt they just wanted to get it over with. Over the years I have learned that there is a definite need to communicate either by email or telephone or even when the escort arrives as to what is expected and what parameters each party has for the encounter. It works both ways for a client and an escort...and saves a tremendous amount of frustration

[Diverdan]

Hi Mocha,

Sorry you had that experience, but unfortunately s... happens and also unfortunately in your business, as well as all business, this is likely to happen again. That doesn't make it any better, but I have to agree with other colleagues here who emphasized "Communication"... it starts with the first contact, whether via text, email or phone. It continues when you walk in the door, and if things change drastically between the initial communication and what does or does not happen right away, it is time to slow down and reassess. Again, sorry that this happened, but take it with a grain of salt and move on. Most guys will treat you well, but communication is the real key to avoid such experiences.

Good luck.

DD

[niceguyaz]

Sorry you had an upleasant experience. Personally I love exploring my partner until I find what really turns them on. Some of it is chemistry and some is experience.