Do you wish you were straight?

[Pegasus]

Had you asked me that question when I was 17 I would have screamed “YES!” since I had all the traditional and theological misunderstandings about homosexuality. Back then, I would have taken a bullet before telling others I was gay. Now, were I still trying to be straight and knew how life-changing and sexually liberating and spiritually renewing being gay could be, then I would jumped out of the closet in a heartbeat. But you know what they say…”from the outside it’s impossible to understand, from the inside it’s impossible to explain.” Great question though and excellent food for thought.

[Guest gymac]

When I was younger I use to think straight men "had it all" They had the wife, kids and and extended family. They also seemed to have alot of power oveer gay people. The male public figures in Alberta politics tried for years to keep "gay people in their place" by giving them no recognition. However, with time and the help of the Supreme Court these males had to give gay people the same rights and freedoms they had. There is a unique feeling to being with a gay group, an instant connection because we all have something in common. Today gay people can make a real contribution to society aand have families if they wish. Being a gay man is a wonderful experience for me, today.

[gtx1]

I have been straight for 40 year - with all the baggage - wife, kids, mortgage, job, dogs, on and on. Only this year did I decide to let this other side slip out and now I'm wondering what my life would have been like if I'd let it out earlier. I would have certainly had better sex!!!!!!!

[josephga]

there's tons of stories on here of those who lived their lives as str8 for years. I wonder how many out there have done a complete opposite and decided they didn't want to be gay any more and decided to live the str8 life. I'm sure there's no one on here because they wouldn't be viewing this site if that was the case. But has anyone here ever known anyone thats done just that. Gay to str8

[leigh.bess.toad]

I have been straight for 40 year - with all the baggage - wife, kids, mortgage, job, dogs, on and on. Only this year did I decide to let this other side slip out and now I'm wondering what my life would have been like if I'd let it out earlier. I would have certainly had better sex!!!!!!!

 

From your own descriptions gtx1, I doubt it would have been better sex. Four times in an hour would be hard to top

[leigh.bess.toad]

My personal struggle to accept myself has helped shape me into a more caring and compassionate person with a perspective on the world I could not otherwise have. It has brought me opportunities and friendships that I could not have known about or been prepared for. I love my two teen-age sons and they accept and unconditionally love me. I now am truly secure in the man I've become, and I thank God for making me gay. I don’t ever want to be anything other than who I am today.

 

Goodfella

 

Thank you Goodfella. I'm glad you've gotten to that point. It is indeed good to hear from people who have gotten there.

[+ FreshFluff]

Sometimes I think it would be easier for me if I were a straight woman. I always wanted to be a stay home mom and home maker. I love making breakfast for my loved ones leaving for work and school, taking care of my children and etc.. I love this scene in Pretty Woman where Richard Gere surprises Julia Roberts with a beautiful necklace and takes her to an opera.

 

You'd have to be a very beautiful or very savvy straight woman to make this happen. In 2011, you'd be competing with many other straight women who wish to marry well-off men and maintiain their lifestyles while quitting work. But most, in the end, are forced to settle for husbands whose earnings cannot make this possible.

[+ glutes]

I have been straight for 40 year - with all the baggage - wife, kids, mortgage, job, dogs, on and on.

 

Since when (gay or straight) is having a dog, 'baggage'?

 

SmallTownJohn would object, and so do I ! http://www.companyofmen.org/showthread.php?69269-Dogs-amp-Cats-Need-Your-Clicks

[Guest greatness]

lol.. You are right FreshFluff.. A good point...

 

You'd have to be a very beautiful or very savvy straight woman to make this happen. In 2011, you'd be competing with many other straight women who wish to marry well-off men and maintiain their lifestyles while quitting work. But most, in the end, are forced to settle for husbands whose earnings cannot make this possible.

[justaguy]

My life doesn't revolve around my sexual orientation--sex, maybe, but not the orientation. To paraphrase a previous post, my life would be much the same whether I were straight or gay. If I fantasize about anything, it would be wealth, and I mean I'd like it to be in the obscene range.

[Guest greatness]

oh my justaguy... What do you plan to do with all the money ? Money brings problems too..

 

My life doesn't revolve around my sexual orientation--sex, maybe, but not the orientation. To paraphrase a previous post, my life would be much the same whether I were straight or gay. If I fantasize about anything, it would be wealth, and I mean I'd like it to be in the obscene range.

[best hotel]

ok......as a young man, i prayed to God to be straight.. ....i have been married to a woman who was, and is, truly a dear friend with whom i fathered my four amazing children.....i came out with a sense of joy and emancipation, as well as profound remorse about the people i hurt..... i have been in love with a sexy seductive straight guy who was "gay for pay" in that he exploited me in many ways.........i have been in love with a "gay" man who left me for a woman he met in AA....and i have spent many a night sleeping alone, frozen, lonely.......i have been fat and thin, poor and rich, humiliated and applauded .....and like Tomcat, sexually assaulted....i have been in therapy since the 70s.....as i type this soap opera, i am in my early 50s and i thank God i am gay.....go figure

[leigh.bess.toad]

To TBinCHI, ChiTown, gtx1, sf_westcoaster, Goodfella, and of course Tomcat. I owe each of you a big thank you. You certainly provide hope and inspiration to me. Like you, I've lived the "straight" life for almost all of my existence even though I have always known I was different -- that I was attracted to men. Only recently have I found the courage to take the steps I need to take to join you on the path I'm now on. I too wouldn't trade it for anything because of the love for my son. And being a special needs kid on the autism spectrum, it makes my choices all the more difficult. But he needs to see that being "different" is ok. And that his father will love him no matter what and I know that he will love me regardless. I often wonder where people get the idea that we "choose" to be gay. The choices you and I have been forced to make are so difficult that I can't imagine anyone would "choose" to have to make them. So please, keep being the inspiration to the rest of us who are attempting to follow in your footsteps. In many ways it is a lot easier for me to see where I’m going because I do stand on the shoulders of giants.

 

I am a gay man and wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[Mark450]

Do I wish I were straight? No, I'm fine with who I am.

[Guest greatness]

Oh my Lee I didn't know that you had a son. That's wonderful! I'm glad that you are getting help from here. Isn't the forum wonderful? Not just a place for sex but a place we can share our lives and encourage one another. Thank you all! Hugs~~

 

To TBinCHI, ChiTown, gtx1, sf_westcoaster, Goodfella, and of course Tomcat. I owe each of you a big thank you. You certainly provide hope and inspiration to me. Like you, I've lived the "straight" life for almost all of my existence even though I have always known I was different -- that I was attracted to men. Only recently have I found the courage to take the steps I need to take to join you on the path I'm now on. I too wouldn't trade it for anything because of the love for my son. And being a special needs kid on the autism spectrum, it makes my choices all the more difficult. But he needs to see that being "different" is ok. And that his father will love him no matter what and I know that he will love me regardless. I often wonder where people get the idea that we "choose" to be gay. The choices you and I have been forced to make are so difficult that I can't imagine anyone would "choose" to have to make them. So please, keep being the inspiration to the rest of us who are attempting to follow in your footsteps. In many ways it is a lot easier for me to see where I’m going because I do stand on the shoulders of giants.

 

I am a gay man and wouldn’t trade it for the world.

[instudiocity]

I wish...

I could win the lottery for over $10 Million!

I could afford the wine I like!

I never would need to work again!

 

Straight, Gay, Folded, Stapled or Mutilated - I have bigger worries.

[seeker630]

I wish...

I could win the lottery for over $10 Million!

I could afford the wine I like!

I never would need to work again!

 

Straight, Gay, Folded, Stapled or Mutilated - I have bigger worries.

 

Amen!

 

When I first started reading this thread, I would have said 'yes', because I've always thought that life was easier for straights. But as I watch my sister, currently struggling through a messy divorce, and I realize that probably marriage doesn't suit my personality (even if I were straight)...well, I can't say I'm entirely satisfied with who I am, but the sexuality part of it is minor.

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!! If you Wanna Wish - Wish for This!

 

After reading the "gay for pay" thread, I got to thinking... I am a gay guy who loves straight guys. I don't know why, nor do I care why... I just do. In thinking about this, I started thinking, "do I wish I were straight"? The answer is "yes". I know and accept that I am gay, but I do wish I were straight.

 

So, are there others like me? Do you wish you were straight, or are you totally content with being gay? Please don't make this judgmental. I think everyone should feel comfortable with who and what they are, but that doesn't mean we can't wish we were something else. Hell, I wish I were a billionaire too (a little plug for Travie McCoy!). So, please keep the discussion civil.

 

Thanks

 

No, I have never wished that I was straight. What I do, is more than wish, instead I work towards an American

 

society - Where it Does Not Matter - if you are Str8t or Gay or Bi or Pan or any other label.

 

I wish and work for a Society where Everyone - is accorded Equal Rights, Equal Protections under the Law, Equal

 

Benefits, and Equal Obligations as citizens of this American Society as promised in the preamble of our Constitution.

 

 

I believe that in my lifetime this is possible. The Implementation of the Repeal of DADT is a very important turning

 

point in the creation of an America where Gays and Lesbian and Bisexuals are seen and embraced as Americans first

 

and as Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals second. For Americans revere our veterans/troops - and though we have been

 

serving since the creation of this nation - The Ability to Serve Openly and Honestly - Changes Public Opinion - Which

 

Changes Laws!

 

 

Just as when Harry Truman integrated the armed forces - that was a major turning point in sparking the civil rights

 

movement and the drive towards full equality for people of color.

 

The actual elimination of DADT and the implementation of policies which allow Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals to serve

 

as any other American - will dramatically propel our struggle for equality forward.

 

 

"And Now Back to Our Regular Programming"

[instudiocity]

A little less 'Return' key would be nice...

[Guest DuchessIvanaKizznhugg]

Straight, dear?

Who dear?

Me dear?

No, dear!

[leigh.bess.toad]

Very good points WWB. And I was just re-reading the original post and where Leap Year asked "Please don't make this judgmental. ... So, please keep the discussion civil." I think the forum has come through beautifully on that point. It has been a very interesting discussion and I'd like to thank everyone for that as well. I hope Leap Year is getting what he was looking for.

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm glad (actually envious) for all of you who "have made it through the rain" and "found yourself respected"--see I must be gay, I'm quoting old Barry Manilow lyrics. I've had fun hiring escorts--but if I could have had the traditional life with wife and children--that's what I would have preferred. I've never considered myself an inwardly strong person--and I don't feel I have the strength to want to be gay or go forth publicly and be gay. I am amazed at what some of y'all have had to go through to get to your place of acceptance.

 

My physician who is gay--and in fact runs a primarily gay practice--says I am still on my journey. Well I just turned 50-- I'm getting tired of traveling. But I can't really even imagine at this late date coming clean to my family--and they must know. What normal heterosexual male aside from a priest reaches the age of 50 without ever having had a real girlfriend? I posed the question to myself about coming out to my family--just an idle thought about a week ago in my car--and tears almost immediately came to my eyes. Intellectually I am 99% sure they wouldn't reject me--but tell my emotions that. I really believe that there is a good chance that I will never come to terms with it. I am not trying to anger anyone out there at my obstinacy. I wish I were different--but unfortunately--I'm not.

 

Gman

[+ deej]

I wish I were different--but unfortunately--I'm not.

 

But you are different, Blanche, you are.

 

(sorry, "Golden Girls" quotes come easily at times like this because they fit so damn well.)

 

Your physician is exactly right. You're on your own journey, and your journey CANNOT ever be anyone else's. It will forever be yours uniquely.

 

There's no problem with that. Anyone who tells you there is something wrong with that is wrong.

[Guest greatness]

Gar1eth I hope you can see how precious you are and value your uniqueness. You don't have to do what other people do to be happy. Coming out is great but don't try to force yourself to do it to make yourself feel better or think that it will lead to happiness we find in a fairy tale. When you come in terms with your self everything will follow naturally. Please love yourself and accept who you are. I think you are a wonderful person but you don't seem to see that. I hope you can.

[JoeBlow]

When I was younger and all I could do was cry and pray to God and say "WHY, did you make me this way? --yes, I would've probably been happy to be what everyone else considered "normal". With time and experience I have learned "why". Having to question my own sexuality gave me the very painful gift of an open mind. If I hadn't had to be "on the outside, looking in" at what "normal" was then I think I would be a completely different person, oblivious to what other "non-privileged" or "minority" people face every day. I still get frustrated when I hear ignorant comments made by "the moral majority", but I definitely wouldn't be so quick to change now...even if I had the chance to go back. A lot of my attraction is romantic, so half the time I wonder when I say that I'm "bisexual" if what I really mean is the ability for men to simply show affection for one another, which apparently much our U.S. society thinks is taboo. I've never seen such a lop-sided polarized view of the world as the one that is portrayed in popular culture these days. I mean, why shouldn't men kiss and make love with each other? Damn homophobic patriarchs, they think a man showing the slightest bit of sensitivity toward another guy is a threat to males all over the world... How Ridiculous!