...........The Birds and The Birds ............

[Godiva]

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Since many of us here may be considered a little "long in the tooth" and we probably "came out" a little later in life.. I was wondering how many of you had that excruciating "Birds and The Bees" speech with your Mom or Dad. Mine was with my Dad and it was a nightmare..I avoided it as long as I could but my dad cornered me one day while my mom was out and we had "The Talk". I sweated and squirmed the whole time. He was rather graphic in detail as he was in the health care profession. Most of it still applies to me now although I had to change my sex partner from "some girl I might like to some guy I might like" of course while he rambled on I just kept thinking hurry up so I can masterbate.

 

Of course Elaine wasn't around then.

 

Did any of you have "The Talk" or were you able to avoid it. More importantly if you didn't have it how did you learn?

[CT Dick]

RE: The Birds and The Bees?

 

My parents gave me a book published by the YMCA and told me to ask them about anything I didn't get from reading it.

 

Then one day when I was helping my father on a chore, he quizzed me on the book. God, was that embarrassing!!! x(

 

Dick

[+ deej]

The Birds and The Birds ............

 

The little town I grew up in was scandalized not once but twice by "sex ed" classes for grade school children.

 

They herded the boys into one room and the girls into another, and the PE teachers had charts and a film and explained all the clinical things.

 

The town was scandalized because nobody knew it was coming and some parents got a big surprise when they asked "what did you learn in school today?"

 

The town was further scandalized just weeks later when the boys' PE teacher was fired because he was one of them there homosexuals.

 

So, yes, I learned about vaginas from a fag! :

 

The only "talk" I had with my parents was after the firing. They wanted to know if he'd ever "touched" me. (Oh, how I wished! Even then!) I guess they figured the cat was out of the bag, so to speak.

[BuckyXTC]

RE: Birds and Bees

 

I remember "the Talk" very well. Early one morning when I was in the third grade, my mom was cooking breakfast and my dad was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. I was hopping around in my underwear by the gas heater in the dining room, and suddenly felt the urge to ask Dad a question. "Daddy, what does fuck mean?" My dad's eyes almost left their sockets, as he dropped the newspaper, grabbed me, and whisked me into the master bedroom, away from my mother's hearing. He said, "Don't ever say that word in front of your mother.......have you ever seen a dog get on the back of another dog, or a cat on another cat? Puzzled, I said......"I guess so". "Well, that's fucking", and don't be talking about it, it's not nice.

 

Of course, his warning went unheeded, and it became one of my favorite words and activities. Didn't take long to get beyond the "dog and cat" explanation, as a classmate filled me in on all the particulars. Of course, his explanation was not a whole lot better than my dad's because he fucking is when a guy puts his dick inside a woman's pussy and pees and the woman gets pregnant and has a baby.

 

Eventually, I got the facts right and I realized it's when a guy gets on the back of another guy.

 

}>

[Godiva]

RE: Birds and Bees

 

Hey Deej..I remember that film oh so well. I think I saw it in the 5th grade..

 

Hey Bucky..that was the funniest story I have heard in a while. I mean as I am still laughing and wiping the tears away.

[Guest miketx]

RE:..The Birds and The Birds

 

I had it extremely easy. My dad gave me a box of condoms and asked me if I had any questions. I said no. He said ok & went back to watching tv. I still have the box, talk about a mood killer.

 

I also watched a film like that in elementary school. The nurse had to keep yelling at us boys to stop giggling.

 

My mother on the other hand didn't get off that easy when she sat my sister down. Mom started to explain the basics & my sister cut her off and said she knew all that, but what she really needed to know was how to french kiss correctly. Sis said she freaked out.

 

miketx

[taylorky]

RE:..The Birds and The Birds

 

birds and bees talk about SEX heee heee my folks may be bleeding heart knee jerk liberals..........but they are also jewish lol, my sex ed. came from friends and school.when i was outed and my folks found out the little jewish prince was a princess (albeit a masculine one lol)things were quiet for about 2 weeks.then one night my dad asked me if i was sure. and when i said yep he said........cool...... my dad said "COOL",ain't that something.anyway my mom asked me if jeff was gay too and i said yes .she asked if his folks knew and i told her no.this was about 3 years ago and as far as we know my folks never said a word to his folks about it.damn i'm lucky,i really love my mom & dad,they really are the best....

[Guest elwood]

RE:..The Birds and The Birds

 

I was so totally clueless. I mean yes,I did jerk off and had actually a very interesting way of doing it. Now that I think of it I did fantasize about guys not girls.Yes I got the lecture in school and from friends.My parents (6 kids) never said a thing.My first sexual encounter with another person was when I was 25. I was on my lunch hour in the john of a hotel in Boston.Man..that guy gave me a FANTASTIC BLOW JOB.I guess I tried to make up for lost time at that point because in the next couple of years I would have fucked just about any breathing male.But I would really have benefited from some wise advice and education.Just lucky I missed the AIDS holocaust personaly because I was ill equipped to deal with anything like STD's{some of which I did acquire}.Saw friends dying..but was so closeted..can't believe it now.For sex and the vigor of life to be linked so closely to death..lots of young men like me..clueless.I know its a different world now..but sometimes I wonder how different.

Thank God for meeting my best friend of 25 years with whom I have lived,from whom I have learned and who I have loved.

[Flower]

RE:..The Birds and The Birds

 

.then one night my dad asked me if i was

>sure. and when i said yep he said........cool...... my dad

>said "COOL",ain't that something.*****damn i'm lucky,i really love my mom & dad,they really are

>the best....

 

That's a cool story and you are lucky thanks for sharing. Father's supporting their sons like that is always heart warming--not that your mom's support isn't good too--just, that's what moms do best -- sometimes it's harder for dads to do. :+

 

Flower :*

[Guest gentle guy]

RE: The Birds and The Bees?

 

We have similar parents. Mine gave me a book published by the American Red Cross. I later found out that they had 3 books from the ARC directed at different age levels! I, of course, shared the information with my friends. The only problem was that the book didn't clarify that people took their clothes off to have intercourse. I thought it was amazing how those sperm could travel!

[CT Dick]

RE: The Birds and The Birds ............

 

>They herded the boys into one room and the girls into

>another, and the PE teachers had charts and a film and

>explained all the clinical things.

 

Deej, this reminded me of an experience in college in the 60's. We had different health classes for men and women. In ours they were showing a childbirth movie when the guy sitting next to the projector fainted and knocked the thing over. He NEVER lived that one down. (Lucky for him he never had to worry about delivering :7 )

 

Dick

[chrismac]

RE:..The Birds and The Birds

 

Although I'm sure I tried to blank out the conversation from my conscious mind, I still remember my dad standing in front of me in the barn discussing sex, and male and female genitalia. I was looking for a haystack to climb under. From then on, he continued to discuss the subject with me, peppered with his own tales from high school and college, and still does to this day.

[DaninWA]

RE: The birds and the birds

 

When I was 15, my Dad took me for a drive up to Lake Okeechobee. We walked for a short time before he suddenly said, "You're old enough now. If you get a girl pregnant, I'll kill you."

 

Scared the hell out of me.

 

Dan

[Guest ncm2169]

RE:..The Birds and The Birds

 

Taylor, you are soooooo lucky!:-) Take that kind of understanding that your parents gave you, and spread it throughout your life. You will give no greater gift. :*

[BuckyXTC]

Birds, Bees & Beyond

 

After contributing to this thread, another childhood memory cropped up that is somewhat embarrassing but also pretty funny, so I thought I'd share.

 

I grew up in a household with no brothers and two sisters, so the ladies of the house outnumbered my dad and yours truly. I don't remember exactly how old I was, most definitely prepubescent, and stumbled upon some strange paraphernalia in the bathroom storage cabinet. The box said Tampax tampons, and I didn't have a clue what they were for, so I asked my mom. Not wanting to give me the straight poop, she told me they were for "diarrhea". That seemed to satisfy my curiosity, until one day I came down with a wicked case of the Toluca Trots. Taking my mom at her word, I went into the bathroom and tried to figure out just how to use this Tampax thing. I shoved one up my butt, but soon it popped out into the toilet bowl, paper insertion tube and all. Tried a second one, then a third, but the little buggers just wouldn't stay in, and they seemed to have no effect on the diarrhea. Flushed the toilet, but they didn't go down. Went out to the backyard to play, soon to be summoned back into the house.

"What's the deal with these things in the toilet?" my mother asked, obviously perturbed. "Well", I replied...you said they were for diarrhea, and I've got it. I couldn't seem to get them to stay in."

Suddenly her anger turned to laughter, and she waved me away, but kept laughing for some time. Later, when my dad got home from work, I heard them laughing again, and I knew why.

 

For me, my childhood was like a box of Tampax....you never knew what you were going to get.

[Guest RushNY]

RE: Birds, Bees & Beyond

 

Getting the 'talk' I WISH !!

 

I lost my virginity aged 12 (yeah to a girl)-i didnt know any better at the time :-) my education for want of a better term came from a friends collection of straight porno magazines seeing the pictures and trying to copy them ,to my parents birds and bees were things that fly around my mother an Irish Catholic who had a temper like a volcano i would have NEVER i mean NEVER asked for ANY advice on sex it would have been straight down to confession and washing my mouth out with soap,to her sex was something that happened to adults over the age of 21 not to kids in 7th grade.

 

My pops being Italian and one of six kids my mom being Irish and one of eight (go figure !) would have been too embarrassed to tell me anything about sex it would have been something that 'a woman' would have to have done so basically they were both pretty useless thank god for Donna Clarke and Prospect Park in Brooklyn .

[Godiva]

RE: Birds, Bees & Beyond

 

Well I am back from a business trip and I could'nt wait to read more stories and you guys out did yourselves. It is amazing how the same topic can be covered many different ways within a family. I have reread this thread quite a few times for my own enjoyment. Thanxs for the contributions guys.

 

Please if there are more stories out there share them with us.

Thanxs again..