marking time

[+ Oliver]

A Real Fantasy

 

One of my great pleasures in this past year has been the opportunity to meet sfwestcoaster, jawjateck, and you, Mr. NYTomcat. All of you are enjoying real experiences and making the most of them with élan. Hey, people play fantasy football – why not this? And you all know what is what.

[NYTomcat]

One of my great pleasures in this past year has been the opportunity to meet sfwestcoaster, jawjateck, and you, Mr. NYCTomcat. All of you are enjoying real experiences and making the most of them with élan. Hey, people play fantasy football – why not this? And you all know what is what.

 

And that is why I had to thank Oliver... right there. Like no one but perhaps lucky.... he can cut to the heart of the matter. It was my pleasure sir and I can't wait to meet your traveling companion in PS this upcoming spring

[Guest Zack]

Though I must admit your reference to personal devastation and self sanctioned crucifixion allude me.

 

Perhaps that's because you don't follow threads which don't highlight YOU as the main topic. I don't know. My reference was to and about greatness, not you, and his reverence to his kindness.

 

But perhaps my recent absence from the forum or lack of personal knowledge get in the way of your reference.

 

And with that said it might be time for you to just focus on YOU (lol) instead of all of your absences and uninformed references from and about other posters.

 

I never thought Sally Field or Halle Berry would ever shut the fuck up about their moment in time. But you, Sir, are pressing that moment into another dimension all together.

[Guest Zack]

.

[NYTomcat]

Perhaps that's because you don't follow threads which don't highlight YOU as the main topic. I don't know. My reference was to and about greatness, not you, and his reverence to his kindness.

 

 

 

And with that said it might be time for you to just focus on YOU (lol) instead of all of your absences and uninformed references from and about other posters.

 

I never thought Sally Field or Halle Berry would ever shut the fuck up about their moment in time. But you, Sir, are pressing that moment into another dimension all together.

 

.

Oh my...

[leigh.bess.toad]

Lee I love you man. But christ get the diabetics out of the audience first. .... I mean ... the carpenters. Could be worse say Donny and Marie

 

Honestly the Broadway buff in me says more

 

First, I at least gave everyone a heads up it was going to be sappy so you were warned

Second, for my money there is no better alto pop singer ever than Karen Carpenter. Technically a wonderfully produced voice, as the vocal student in me observes.

Third, and most important, you really have only just begun to live. The magnificence that is going to be NYTomcat in 5 years, 10 years is going to be something to behold and I for one can hardly wait to see it. I've told you repeatedly, I will dance at your wedding. And whoever he will be will be the luckiest man in the world.

 

But really, Patti Lupone? Come on, I mean I know gay men love her and everything. But Jesus Christ, you couldn't go with an actual gay man?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USOHlM_C7vk&feature=related

 

Why in the hell can't we support our own? No wonder we can't get ahead? Gotta keep pushing the straight women ahead of us gay men.

 

:)

[+ Oliver]

... I can't wait to meet your traveling companion in PS this upcoming spring

 

He'll be all over you. I've been told that I don't show him any affection and that's why he slavers over any visitors.

 

And btw, what was the "almost obscene typo"?

[NYTomcat]

He'll be all over you. I've been told that I don't show him any affection and that's why he slavers over any visitors.

 

And btw, what was the "almost obscene typo"?

"That is why I hard to thank Oliver" lmao. Ooooo baby

[Guest Zack]

The magnificence that is going to be NYTomcat in 5 years, 10 years is going to be something to behold and I for one can hardly wait to see it. I've told you repeatedly, I will dance at your wedding. And whoever he will be will be the luckiest man in the world.

 

Really? So we've gone from an escort hiring site to now this. TOMCAT couldn't make that happen in his previous life - so why would you want to promote such senseless possibilities in an after life which reeks of that never happening - ever, even when you are YOUNG? Which he isn't?

 

Celebrating a man coming out is one thing. But for people here to be celebrating a life which most of you have never had to begin with - and to now suggest he will find that again because he found gay male escorts to lead his way - is just fucking poppycock.

 

He hasn't found a fucking thing. Really. Except how to get off.

 

It speaks to the mental health (not necessarily to the mental hope) of everyone here.

 

Really?

 

I don't give TomCat 2 years before he's back in a relationship with a woman. Men won't put up with his baggage and escorts will tire of his story and need to be loved by him.

 

Not trying to be nasty. Just honest.

[NYTomcat]

Really? So we've gone from an escort hiring site to now this. TOMCAT couldn't make that happen in his previous life - so why would you want to promote such senseless possibilities in an after life which reeks of that never happening - ever, even when you are YOUNG? Which he isn't?

 

Celebrating a man coming out is one thing. But for people here to be celebrating a life which most of you have never had to begin with - and to now suggest he will find that again because he found gay male escorts to lead his way - is just fucking poppycock.

 

He hasn't found a fucking thing. Really. Except how to get off.

 

It speaks to the mental health (not necessarily to the mental hope) of everyone here.

 

Really?

 

I don't give TomCat 2 years before he's back in a relationship with a woman. Men won't put up with his baggage and escorts will tire of his story and need to be loved by him.

 

Not trying to be nasty. Just honest.

 

Alright honey. .... you told me off.... feel better?

[Guest Zack]

Alright honey. .... you told me off.... feel better?

 

No. Again. This is not about you. But I understand your need to make it so. And please never call me honey or any other gurlish type name again. I'm a gay man who has always been so and reserve that right to those who have walked my path. And just so you know, that includes calling me, Mary.

 

I've earned that right. You certainly haven't.

[whipped guy]

Thanks to YOU TC...

 

TC... My God has it really been a year!!!!??? I just read your initial posting in this thread...and it brought a tear to my eye... But then you mentioned nipple clamps and that brought a smile to my face... Actually you may not have believed that you would have traveled so far in a year's time, but the first time we spoke I knew that you would make it as far as you did as I most definitely heard a certain sense of determination and resolve in your voice that spoke loudly and clearly... You probably didn't think that you would travel so far so fast... and I really didn't think that you would either, but then again I was not really surprised when you actually did... Heck you are a "drive in the fast lane type of person" so it just had to be.

 

Still, I think that it is all of us who should be thanking you, as you have helped rejuvenate this forum probably more any other. I think I can honestly speak for so many when I say that we are all proud and privileged to call you a friend!

[Guest greatness]

Aww I can't agree more. You were silent for a while recently but glad that you came back and started posting. Kisses and hugs~~~

 

Still, I think that it is all of us who should be thanking you, as you have helped rejuvenate this forum probably more any other. I think I can honestly speak for so many when I say that we are all proud and privileged to call you a friend!

[NYTomcat]

No. Again. This is not about you. But I understand your need to make it so. And please never call me honey or any other gurlish type name again. I'm a gay man who has always been so and reserve that right to those who have walked my path. That includes Mary.

 

Ok Dorothy you have a great night walking in oz and believing every gay man has to tread your path in order to earn the right to wear his rainbow button. And your right its not about me. This is about a man so in need of attention that he feels the need to interpose himself in an innocuous thread thanking people for their support over time. And how. By yelling at others for answering a post that wasn't about them. If I remember this started because you felt the need to direct Adam not to respond to Steven draker because stephen was talking to me. Well under that criterion this thread isn't directed to you. Do you now get my point. We all have the right to be heard on any thread. That's just the nature of the forum.

 

Now to your point. Sorry to tell you Zach. I'm gay. Worse yet. Yes an escort helped me realize that. I have no fantasy of finding a husband. Actuallly I'm not looking for one. I just came out. Hello. But yes at some point it will happen of that I'm sure. Its called hope. And the fact I actually like people and enjoy having them in my life. But if not... I can live with that too. So now that you have hijacked my thread away from its originally intended course.... does that answer your questions?

 

God why am I having the name icefirewizard floating around in my head.

[NYTomcat]

TC... My God has it really been a year!!!!??? I just read your initial posting in this thread...and it brought a tear to my eye... But then you mentioned nipple clamps and that brought a smile to my face... Actually you may not have believed that you would have traveled so far in a year's time, but the first time we spoke I knew that you would make it as far as you did as I most definitely heard a certain sense of determination and resolve in your voice that spoke loudly and clearly... You probably didn't think that you would travel so far so fast... and I really didn't think that you would either, but then again I was not really surprised when you actually did... Heck you are a "drive in the fast lane type of person" so it just had to be.

 

Still, I think that it is all of us who should be thanking you, as you have helped rejuvenate this forum probably more any other. I think I can honestly speak for so many when I say that we are all proud and privileged to call you a friend!

 

Well I thank you for that wg. It has been my great honor to be here. To learn from the men here. To be a part of this community. And yeah even to fight out issues and differences here. I never thought it would be this fast either but you are right when this "old man" gets a direction. I don't tend for patience. I can't wait til round two at nybc. We have a lot to talk about.

[Guest Zack]

TC...

Still, I think that it is all of us who should be thanking you, as you have helped rejuvenate this forum probably more any other. I think I can honestly speak for so many when I say that we are all proud and privileged to call you a friend!

 

Please, speak for yourself. These forums may have been rejuvenated by TOMCAT's entry into the world of hiring gay male escorts in the face of his cheating on his wife for years and his subsequent destruction of his personal bonds between others which he defaulted upon because he wanted to get his rock off with other guys - But this is not heroic. This is tragic and then, hopefully, redemption-able.

 

I've spent my entire life fighting against the things that TomCat now wants to come easy to him. Well, fuck him for that. Yet, I appreciate his journey and I would never wish him anything other than well with his journey

 

Yet he comes here and makes HIS journey the worst and most important journey that anyone else here has ever had and then wants to relentlessly remind everyone of how sad, confused, and now, happy he is because of it.

 

Well, I'm happy for him too. But when the only thing that TomCat can ever offer here to these forums is what is all about him - when these forums, seemingly, gave him back his life, I'd like to see him giving something back here which has nothing to do with himself. Since he's so healthy and well adjusted here now.

 

But that doesn't happen.

 

TomCat is obviously very well appreciative of what he has learned here - but what he will never know, and what he can never appreciate, is the personal pain, silent suffering and need to step out on one's own life and make it your own life - type balls - which most have done here just to become who we have become.

 

Yes, we help others and expect others to stand up for us when doing so - but TomCat has given nothing back to this community, here or elsewhere, that I can see, which expresses his appreciation for everything which he has received from us - minus his escort buddies.

 

These forums here have existed for what seems to me to be an exhaustible amount of time supporting people from many walks of life.

 

This is the first time I've ever experienced a walk of one's life - being benefited by one - and being so selfish in his return for anything other than his relentless and personal remembrances of how great his life has become, because of it.

 

Without giving anything back.

[Guest Zack]

Ok Dorothy you have a great night walking in oz and believing every gay man has to tread your path in order to earn the right to wear his rainbow button.

 

Your unearned arragonce and smug confidence of your life in the gay community reeks of how you will soon be at your knees begging for the same type support you found here - from others. The sad side of that is that there is no other place for you to bow, beg and then to find refuge.

 

You'll learn that on your own very soon.

[MsGuy]

And other than depositing a large steaming load of it onto a rather innocuous feel good, thank you thread, you have contributed exactly what to this happy little community, Zack? Hmmm?

 

http://www.bay-of-fundie.com/img/2008/expelled2.jpg

 

Help me out here, Zack, my memory isn't what it used to be.

[NYTomcat]

Your unearned arragonce and smug confidence of your life in the gay community reeks of how you will soon be at your knees begging for the same type support you found here - from others. The sad side of that is that there is no other place for you to bow, beg and then to find refuge.

 

You'll learn that on your own very soon.

Sorry Zack. No I wont. I've had my friends I built my community even before coming out. I've always surrounded myself with tolerant people. So my community has accepted me already. Plus I was raised in a family of tolerant people who also accept my choices. You don't know me... so you know nothing of what I've given back to forum members or the gay community.

 

I am sorry that you have apparently viewed your struggle as such a hardship and that you see the need to beg for refuge. I thank the forum and appreciate its members but I do not need them as my only avenue into life. I am here cause I choose to be.

 

Now I'm not sure what personal bonds I've defaulted on to others in my desire to "get my rocks off" . Oh of course ... silly me. Is this all about Mr Cade again. If so. Sorry Zack I've had my fill of that tired old battle. What I hoped was a debate about coming out and tolerance just went back to the personal attacks. Not interested. I appreciate your position on things and wish you well.

 

Msguy..... roflmao. Where do you find these pictures ...

[Guest Zack]

And other than depositing a large steaming load of it onto a rather innocuous feel good, thank you thread, you have contributed exactly what to our happy little community, Zack? Hmmm?

 

 

With all due respect to you MSGUY, this is not so much YOUR community as is another for you. So please, if you can, refrain yourself from such immature images stating such immature responses.

 

That is not what my conversation here has ever been about.

[Guest greatness]

Oh my Zack. Thank for your compliment but I certainly don't deserve that. I am a man of many flaws and problems. I try to be optimistic tough. Can you please offer the same kindness you have shown me to Tom? You seem like a nice guy in many other posts but some posts in this thread surprise me. Nobody is perfect and everybody makes mistakes. Sometimes we are just frustrated with our life. I think Tom have been through a lot of difficult things since he joined the forum. I bet it wasn't an easy decision to leave his loving wife and etc. Please join us in supporting his direction. Maybe he will change his course in your direction later or he may not. Whatever he decides to do, let's support him and show him love. He is trying to figure out his life and be happy. I don't think any one can criticize him for trying to make his life better and be happy. This thread is for Tom to thank people who helped him to find himself and come out. Please allow Tom to just do that.

 

Greatness~ Your capacity as a man to overcome moments of personal devastation, and self-sanctioned crucifixion by the hands of others, to only then offer kindness and support here to others is beyond my ability to grasp and understand.

 

Surely your life strengths and capacities are more than which you generally share here. You're are a modest man with more wisdom and capacity than I suspect most anyone here has ever known.

 

I'd personally like to know and understand what your catalyst in life is. And how you achieve it.

 

It's humbling to say the least.

[Diverdan]

Greatness,

Well put in your last posting. I am very sad to see what happened in this thread. I have never met Tom or Zack, but I am looking forward to meeting Tom in person one of these days. I have never felt he was selfish, but rather impressed that he choose to share the difficulties that he faced and thankful to the many guys on this forum who have been of support, both publically on this Forum and in private messages. I hope that forum members will help Zack through what ever he is going through. I note that he is a nebie here with only 18 posts and many of them only in this thread. So Zack, I hope all goes well for you too, just as I wish only the best for Tom. As a deceased friend used to say "In this life, it is not serious!" And, we need to celebrate diversity of experiences in the same way we celebrate diversity in life.

DD

[+ purplekow]

OBTW -- It is just so damned good to see any message from PK. I sure hope this means he'll come back. Please??

 

Lee Thanks for the invite but I think I will probably continue to limit my posts. I came back today to add a musical message for Tom and saw the mess this innocous thank you note had become. I assume Zach has had other identities here, his manner suggests to me that this is so in any case, and as he mentions in one of his posts and I am paraphrasing only, how this was a forum to discuss escorts which has devolved as a result of posts such as Tom's. For the time I have been here, this forum has been about hiring escorts in the same way that hiring escorts is about sex. For some of us, the forum has a specific focused intent escorts, for others of us, a wider and broader view of our life, the gay, the human, the traumatic, the ecstatic, the erratic. the erotic, the inconsequential and the cosmic. So Tom, here is the musical number I came back to post thinking it fitting and not quite as treacly as the Carpenters...and Ry I mean Zach this is for you too.....500 25000 600 minutes...how do you measure a year in the life? In daylights, in sunsets, In midnights In cups of coffee? In inches? In miles....How about love?

[leigh.bess.toad]

Without giving anything back.

 

Zack -- I have kept my mouth shut until now. As much as it has hurt me, I have kept quet. But as someone else has posted before, it is so blatantly obvious to me that Zach is but a mere new facade for someone else. And the fact that you need to hide who you really are cheapens these comments to begin with, at least to me. Ghost writers leave me cold. Be a mensch.

 

I have been here but 11 and a half weeks. And I think in that time I've established a reputation of getting along with damned near everyone. Look at my friendship list -- how many people have both Steven and Tomcat listed as friends? I do. Anybody here want to bitch about how I've treated anyone else here? Ever?

 

I love Steven. Both he and TC were among my earliest friends. But in this case Steven was wrong and a friend will tell another friend when he was wrong. Even though I had the high honor and privilege of once meeting the great Alice Roosevelt Longworth, I do not believe in her "If you don't have someting nice about someone, come sit by me" philosophy. If you don't like someone, fine. Great. We all have that right. But you still shouldn't crash their party.

 

When I'm wrong, I expect my friends to take a Louisville slugger or the nearest 2 X 4 and apply it firmly but gently to my temples or ass. Because that is what friends do. Friends are that check that prevent you from making a compete and total ass of yourself to people who aren't your friends -- yet. From where I sit, Steven stepped in where he did not need to step in simply to tweak the nose of an adversary. Petulance never becomes anyone.

 

But Zack, when you say that Tomcat has not givern anything back, that is without a doubt compleely and totally wrong -- and something you have aboslutely no idea whether it is even true or not, nor do you even have any way to support making that outrageous claim. TC has helped me in ways not even I can fully comprehend at this point. First are the easy insignificant ways -- he and I share one horrible habit - we're night owls and often exchange PMs til 3 or 4 in the AM so simply having someone to talk to at that hour is giving back to me. But there are other personal issues I'm going through that there is no one in this world I would rely on more or trust more than TC. And that is giving back in a big way. In the way that was given to him by others. In the way that I am trying to help others now.

 

Likewise, I do know of the awards TC has received from professional organizations for his work AIDS awareness campaigns and similar matters. So don't tell me he hasn't given back to the community as a whole

 

So Zack, first I would ask you tell us who your other screen identy/identiies are so we can judge where you are coming at from in this little tete-a-tete. But second, you need to realize your error in the statement that TC has never given back. Be a mencsh. Admit you were wrong in that statement.

 

I now withdraw my colors from the field, fully aware that I am about to suffer slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

 

Bandages and linament ready to be applied.

[NYTomcat]

I thank you boyz for your support but I am actually happy "Zack" passed along here. Just a few short months ago his comments would have had me outwardly flaming and internally filled with self doubt and guilt. Not so today and that is in great part because of you guys. Its why I really needed to post this thank you. Perhaps I've hardened but I think not. I just think I'm thicker skinned because I'm more comfortable in my own.

 

If I'm not here as much that has less to do with the forum and more to do with the reorganization of my and my family's lives.

 

Seasons of love ... as always perfect pk...though ill throw out my own musical interlude. And in support of of Lee's request to support our own instead of just our gay faves like lupone and menzel ... I have gone with the boyz.