The Wit And Wisdom Of Escorts...

[+ Cash4Trash]

Escorts say the darndest things. Here are a few of my favorite

"escort" quotes, all have been said to me over the past several

years.

1) "Oh, get off it. You're as big a slut as anyone I know."

2) "I may have been here only 32 minutes, but 31 of them

were the best 31 minutes of your life."

3) "I like old guys. Don't worry,I fuck you until you're

100."

4) "At least when you pay me you don't get a headache."

5) "I am NOT going to have lesbian sex with you."

Anyone else have a favorite "escort" quote? Any escorts have a few

memorable client comments?

[catnip]

Well, I had a regular escort with me when I was going through a hard time about some other stuff, and he spent a few hours just lying with me telling me things like:

 

1)You're a good person

2) I'm really glad I know you

3) I always like the sex with you

 

etc.

 

I'll never forget his kindness to me that night. Even though I like being a jaded New Yorker, and can usually do it quite well, this guy had me at a really bad moment and did a good thing.

 

If I want to hear what you're quoting (minus the money part), I'll just pick up some dork at SBNY.

[Guest miketx]

Preface; I was wearing a rugby style shirt.

 

"In the future, it would be easier if you wore a shirt that unbuttons all the way down" :-)

 

miketx

[Rick Munroe]

Rick Munroe: "Watch the teeth!" (it's a fat one) }>

[Guest Blink]

1 Hhhhmmmm....

 

2 Aaahhhhh.....

 

3 Oooowwwww....

 

4 Ah, ah, ah....

 

5 (just heavy breathing)

[Guest Blink]

When their mouth are not full, they murmur the following:

 

"None of us is responsible for all the things that happen to us, but we are responsible for the way we bareback one another."

 

- Jimmy, California

 

"Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They're what make your legs sretch high up in the air and what makes you relax your throat." -- Rick, Kansas

 

"Escorting is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures. And however undramatic the pursuit of joy of sex, the pursuit must go on. That will be an extra $50 if yiu want me to swallow." ---- John, Boston

 

"If we did all the things we are capable of doing we would truly astound ourselves by fisting you with two hands."-----Tom, Munich

 

"Everyone has inside him a piece of good fuck. The good news is that you don't yet realise how great this can be! How much you can fuck! What you can fuck! And what your fuck is!"-----Frank, New York

[Bilbo]

It is sexier to take off each other's clothes. And, IMHO, it is sexier if the other's body can appear from the top down so you can play with the nipples, and tounge the belly button on a natural progression to opening the zipper with your teeth. Or something like that. I think this escort had a good point. (I often wear cowboy shirts on this kind of a date - even easier and sexier when you don't have trouble with a button sticking.) }>

[Guest dstud4hire]

Thank you for the entertaining laugh and this fun thread.....and your quotes.....Gabe

[BigGayAl]

"I HATE THAT PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF CIRCUIT PARTIES -- I LOVE CIRCUIT PARTIES! THEY GIVE A PURPOSE TO ALL OF THE DRUGS THAT I DO!

[Guest lipstick]

From various 'scorts:

 

1) "If you want that, It'll cost you extra."

 

2) "He said he was 65 but didn't look it; he was right.

He didn't look a day over 85."

 

From my own lips many years ago when I used to rent street

hustlers:

 

3) "If those are your conditions, then you can get the fuck

out of the cab right now."

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Twinks Say The Darndest Things

 

AOL PROFILE OF THE DAY: I'm a arrogant 21yo with a body of a greek god. I have pics, and I charge a lot of money. Ultimately you decide - am I worth it to ya?

 

Said to regular clients:

 

Twink #4: "I couldn't find a condom. How about this latex glove?"

 

Twink #5: "Do you think this underwear is white enough?"

 

WEHO Muscle Clone Twink: "He looks big, do you think I look that big? How about him? I think my legs are bigger. My ass is better than that guy's. Do you think I am bigger than everyone else here?" (At the Falcon Anniversary Party)

 

Twink #1: No you have to come to me. I don't drive. No I don't want to take a cab. You come here. No, here. You. Come here. It's the perfect hotel. It's near a freeway."

 

Aging Twink #9: It used to be so awkward for me when you called. I blanked out all the time. But after I enrolled in the detox clinic, I realized that just cutting down on my drug use would be a big help. This guy also taught me how to mix my recreational drugs with the prescription. He said it was the only way to maintain my dwindling supply of brain cells."

 

Twink #7: "I must not be using enough lube, I can't get it hard."

 

Model/Actor/Twink: "Did you take my clinque bronzer the last time you came over?"

 

Twink #11: Just because someone was giving me a blow job and I was making out with Josh doesn't mean I was having sex."

 

Said by Twinks to others in the presence of clients:

 

Twink #6: "Seltzer water is not bottled water. This shit is just loaded with salt, you expect me to drink THAT?"

 

Twink #2: "But I'm a too a top."

 

Twink #8 (to the cocktail waiter on a cruise ship): I have 9 inches and that's soft!"

 

Innocent Twink (to the UPS Delivery Man): He's in the bathroom. I think I ripped something because he's bleeding. I'll go get him.

 

Cynical Twink (to the valet at the Polo Lounge: "Everyone is cute at my age."

 

everyone wants twinks but no one wants to hear their opinions . . .