Steven_Draker Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 [video=youtube;LkHPz7WSqpU] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justaguy Posted December 12, 2014 Share Posted December 12, 2014 Daddy, that would be funny if it weren't so damn close to the truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ quoththeraven Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I don't have a lab(rador retriever), but I have a cat, so the cat scans are free -- if you don't count her food, litter, litter box, her shots and veterinary care, and ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Fawkes Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 One final push to help you get past those pearly gates... A couple is in bed sleeping when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it's half past 3 in the morning." I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of bed, goes downstairs, opens the door, and there's a man standing there. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?" "No, get lost. It's half past three and I was in bed," says the man as he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tell his wife what happened and she says, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?" "But the guy was drunk," says the husband. "It doesn't matter," says the wife." He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere. He shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please." So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?" The drunk replies, "Over here, on the swing." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Funguy Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Well done, Daddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigvalboy Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Yes...Well done indeed Daddy. He would have loved it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest countryboywny Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Thank you for this, Daddy. In Jackhammer's honor, MAY WE NEVER LOSE OUR SENSE OF HUMOR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ quoththeraven Posted March 12, 2015 Share Posted March 12, 2015 Contributing to the thread Jackhammer started is the best tribute possible. Well done, Daddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edjames Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 RIP Jackhammer and thanks for all the laughs. In tribute: A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite Cecil sipping a glass of wine. At strategic moments she uncrosses and crosses her legs wide enough that Cecil asks "Are you wearing crotchless panties? " "Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile. "Thank God - I thought you were sitting on the cat." Cecil never saw the glass coming Lookin 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edjames Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 For Jackhammer....RIP A LESSON IN LOGICS The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character. Two Tennessee farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes:. Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed whacker?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed whacker, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." The dean then says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "That's great, I am a heterosexual. You're amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed whacker." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed whacker?" Bob says, "No, I don't." "Faggot." Zman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Slater Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Oral sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your hole weak. Kevin Slater Lookin, TruHart1, + WmClarke and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Slater Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here." Kevin Slater + jrhoutex, UKtop, Bosguy and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bosguy Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Thanks Kevin Boston Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Slater Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip. Kevin Slater MsGuy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Fawkes Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 A missionary goes to a deep, dark part of Africa that no white man had ever seen before. The inhabitants of the village had never met anyone outside their own tribe. The missionary spread his message to the tribe and they accepted him. Then, nine months after his arrival, the tribal chief's wife gave birth to a blond-haired, blue-eyed baby. The chief barged into the missionary's tent. "You give lesson to my people about religion and morality for nine month, then my wife have white baby? I kill you!" "Hold on! Your tribe has never seen it before, but such things can happen in nature. They're called albinos," explained the missionary. He looked out over a field of sheep. "See that one black sheep in the flock? It's the same thing." "Okay, okay, I make deal," replied the chief. "I don't say nothing about the baby, you don't say nothing about the sheep." + honcho, Bob, + DERRIK and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y204/Badyin/image0022.jpg bigvalboy, mike carey and Lookin 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y204/Badyin/image0022.jpg Is that someone's idea of a hot c**t? You do realise it's Sunday now, not Friday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Sometimes Friday just won't wait. http://www.strangecelebrities.com/images/content/5500.jpg bigvalboy, + sam.fitzpatrick, mike carey and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamSmith Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 God'll get me for this. http://emotionalfitnesstraining.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/offensive-jokes.png + stevenkesslar and MsGuy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ honcho Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Q: How many members of the women's comunity does it take to change a light bulb? A: "That's not funny". Could we have an unlike button please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Slater Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Dying patient: "I just want to live long enough to see my grandson graduate from college." Doctor (thinking it might be possible since it is June) "When does he graduate?" Patient: "Well, he starts kindergarten next year." + stevenkesslar 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Slater Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I'm not saying you're a whore... I just think it's odd that whenever you eat a hot dog, you put your hand behind your head. Kevin Slater TruHart1, + WmClarke, + stevenkesslar and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigvalboy Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I'm not saying you're a whore... I just think it's odd that whenever you eat a hot dog, you put your hand behind your head. Kevin Slater Good one!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Slater Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Kevin Slater mike carey, + honcho, + stevenkesslar and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike carey Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Hey, I'm an Australian and I get it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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