Talking up the good stuff ... IT WORKS !!!

[Guest Ruben]

Cooper,

 

Thank's for the tip about volunteers in NYC. It sound like an interesting idea, especially for a first-time traveller to New York.

 

Do you think your "one step at a time" approach might apply to my fear of STDs? What might you recommend to help overcome this paralysis of mine, a paralysis that keeps me from, say, fulling exploiting my time with an escort?

[duke37]

>Do you think your "one step at a time" approach might apply

>to my fear of STDs? What might you recommend to help

>overcome this paralysis of mine, a paralysis that keeps me

>from, say, fulling exploiting my time with an escort?

 

Try just getting a massage at first. It has lots of advantages, being physically in contact with a hot guy you picked out, socially respectable and completely safe. When you get a little more comfortable with physical contact with someone else the next step will be a little clearer.

 

Jeff

[Donnie]

>I have a fear of STDs that prevents me from doing much more than talking and looking.

 

I'm sure those 3 escorts in London are going to be VERY disappointed that they're getting paid to NOT fuck a 60 year old depressed man who's never set foot in a gym!

 

>I won't bottom because I fear becoming HIV+.

 

Ever heard of condoms and NOT taking raw loads up your ass?

 

>I have an older brother who once said, in

>the 1980s, that AIDS was God's punishment of homosexuals.

>How am I supposed to deal with that?

 

Easy. Tell him to fuck off. He's probably gay, too. Most homophobes are. Why does his opinion matter more than yours?

[Cooper]

>Do you think your "one step at a time" approach might apply

>to my fear of STDs? What might you recommend to help

>overcome this paralysis of mine, a paralysis that keeps me

>from, say, fulling exploiting my time with an escort?

 

Good question Ruben,

Since you do enjoy the company of escorts and have no problem contacting them, perhaps you can start by seeing one on a regular basis...You mentioned that on your upcoming trip to London you've arranged to see 3. What if you were to see just one but 3x's? I've read many posts on this board where writers have indicated that on a first encounter they didn't do that much, but the next time they were more comfortable and relaxed. Do you feel that this approach might help you in becoming more relaxed with a person and be able to try something different each time? or is your problem more complex?...Ruben, you mentioned to us that this was the first time you have told anyone about your feelings, have you ever sought out a professional to help you cope? If not, that could also be part of a "step program".

 

Please get back to us and share your thoughts...The previous idea of starting a sexual encounter with just a massage is a great one. What do you think?

[bluenix]

>This is a fear of embarrassment--I literally hate people

>looking at me--and this fear will never go away. BuckyXTC

>says it is "never too late," but shyness is permanent,like

>finger prints.

 

Ruben, when shyness interferes with what you would like to do, something else is going on. Social phobia -- quite common and treated fairly quickly -- affects lots of people.

 

(My guess is that your fear of STDs is a subterfuge. From what you've said I should think the greater problem would be performance anxiety -- being judged by the escort, perhaps for the crime of being lonely in the first place. Because I mean what you're talking about is hiring someone to pay attention to you when that is precisely what you want to avoid.)

 

Check out:

 

http://www.socialphobia.org

 

Anyhow, you're obviously intelligent and resourceful. You can research this yourself, and I should think solve the problem with dispatch. I'm curious why you waited so long to mention it anyone -- don't you have a family doctor?

 

Anyhow, this board is not the place shed much light on your questions. Ask a professional.

 

Good luck to you.

[MiamiLooker]

>One week from today, on August 28, I'll turn 60 years old.

>I've spent most of that time alone, most of that time lonely

>and much of that time one centimeter this side of

>depression. I've plenty of money, a nice condominium and a

>good car, but there is no one to talk to, on one to sleep

>with and the nearest family is more than 300 km away.

>

>It will take a lot more than "talking up the good stuff" and

>positive thinking, I'm afraid, for me to be up beat. How I

>wish it were otherwise!

 

 

Since this has been going on for some time, I suggest you seek out professional counseling. Also, doing volunteer work is a great way to meet people, and you'd be helping others as well as helping feel better about yourself. Check out your local gay community center. I'm sure there are plenty of programs they can recommend that need volunteers.

[Guest jon guy]

If this thread demonstrates anything - it is surely that the bad stuff works far better!!

 

All it takes is for one person to be fairly open about the shit in his or her life and the agony aunts in us all come out the windows.

 

Ruben - shame that you're in London while i'm in the states. i think that we could have helped each other. You see, as an escort, - well as a person actually - things sometimes hover on that side of the depression line for me also. Mostly my most personal stuff are things that i don't bring to the everyday encounter with a client, but just occasionally and when I am feeling down, I confide in somebody and have met with aeons of support.

 

having recently arrived in NY, i was gobsmacked by the rush of generosity - mainly from ex clients who ran around to sort me out after i lost a credit card and rolled up here pretty much destitute!! save for my best assets!

 

But seriously, on occasion I've been paid by clients for little more in the way of services than allowing me..Me to pour my heart out at them, and bizarely I think that these 'sessions' are those that have given people that i'm with some of the most rewarding encounters - providing that they were prepared to allay their hornyness.

 

the shit works too, because on a site like this, it allows us all to share in the warm glow of being good samaritans. people like to give almost more than they like to take which is why however earth stattering someone's orgasm, a client is always going to come away less content if they do not believe that their courtisan had less than an earth stattering experience also.

 

On the STD fear issue. Had anyone suggested 10 years ago that i would be escorting, i'd have gone parallytic - i was a complete prude - my paranoia being fear of contracting something. And look at me now, and touch wood, a couple of doses of body lice apart, i've been perfectly healthy. These things can be overcome. But i wouldn't want to offer advice!

 

let the shit hang out.

 

x jon http://www.jonguy.com

[Rick Munroe]

>having recently arrived in NY, i was gobsmacked

 

Doesn't "gobsmack" mean "to hit someone in the eye with a shot of cum"? That must have burned! :*

[Guest jon guy]

x( it did!