coffee talk 6/6 - why did we start to hire?

[+ deej]

Deej, honey, ask any grade school kid what their definition of a monogamous relationship is, and I guarantee you that 100% of them will definetely say it does NOT involve cheating!!! ... or banging as much ass on the side (paid for or not.)

 

Maybe YOU' are the one that is "narrow minded" in your belief that every gay man beleives the way you do.... with your extreme liberal positions on relationships. That would never fly with most people, and you know it.

 

If you dont want to be in a monogamous relationship, then dont get into one.

 

I didn't use the word monogamous. That's your hangup.

 

If you don't want to be in an open relationship then don't get into one. You do have that right and I'm not trying to take it away, but you have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to define what is correct, proper, or allowed for everyone else.

 

You can base your life on the views of grade school kids if you like. The rest of us generally prefer the views of adults.

[NYTomcat]

I

"Deej, honey, ask any grade school kid what their definition of a monogamous relationship is, and I guarantee you that 100% of them will definetely say..."

 

What's monogamous?

I was thinking the same thing but decided not to go There. Lmao

[+ deej]

What's monogamous?

 

It's a very rare animal that lives only in dark, scary places.

[twinkboylover28]

It's a very rare animal that lives only in dark, scary places.

 

Likewise.

[josephga]

I personally don't see a right or a wrong. but whats right for those involved. I do think if you took a poll outside of this message board and asked are open relationships or cheating real relationships? the majority would say no. However I only care what happens in my own life and i tell anyone i date if they ever cheat on me 1 of 2 things will happen i will either whoop their ass or they will whoop mine.

[+ deej]

I personally don't see a right or a wrong. but whats right for those involved. I do think if you took a poll outside of this message board and asked are open relationships or cheating real relationships? the majority would say no. However I only care what happens in my own life and i tell anyone i date if they ever cheat on me 1 of 2 things will happen i will either whoop their ass or they will whoop mine.

 

You could threaten to "go Hillary" on 'em. The threat of that worked wonders to keep Bill's zipper up.

 

Oh, wait....

[josephga]

You could threaten to "go Hillary" on 'em. The threat of that worked wonders to keep Bill's zipper up.

 

Oh, wait....

 

 

One guy did cheat on me. I dumped 4 of his favorite outfits into a washing machine with a quart of bleach. then broke his nose. Then told his mother he cheated on me. reason i told her was because he told her that every guy he dated cheated on him and she told me when we first met to please not do the same. and i was making sure she knew the score. He had lost his job and i paid all his bills for 4 months and that's how I'm repaid screw that.

[+ Charlie]

Uhm, if someone enters into a MONOGAMOUS relationship with me, do yo uthink I'm being unreasonable expecting threm to be MONOGAMOUS?

 

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Plus, if you've never equated LOVE and committment with sexual monogamy, what the hell do yo uequate it with, banging as many skanks as possible?

 

Maybe next time people look for a mongamous boyfriend ,they should post an ad on Match-dot-com saying "I dont mind if you bang any one with a pulse, or pay for sex with prostitues." We will see the "quality" of responses you get.

 

Nothing says "I LOVE YOU" like bangin hot ass - someone else's.

 

You still haven't answered my question: Why would you use the emotional reasons of heterosexual women, who have a legitimate interest in their partners' sexual fidelty--even if they don't love their men--as a requirement in a gay relationship? Why does sexual monogamy=love for you? You seem to assume that the connection between the two is self-evident, when it's actually a (mostly unconscious) emotional choice. You language reveals how emotional it is for you. The fact that most gay men, like yourself, do connect monogamy with love doesn't mean that it is a logical connection.

[NYTomcat]

One guy did cheat on me. I dumped 4 of his favorite outfits into a washing machine with a quart of bleach. then broke his nose. Then told his mother he cheated on me. reason i told her was because he told her that every guy he dated cheated on him and she told me when we first met to please not do the same. and i was making sure she knew the score. He had lost his job and i paid all his bills for 4 months and that's how I'm repaid screw that.

 

Unfortunately not surprising. Not making excuses. But philandering during unemployment is common as a substitute for self esteem.

[twinkboylover28]

You still haven't answered my question: Why would you use the emotional reasons of heterosexual women, who have a legitimate interest in their partners' sexual fidelty--even if they don't love their men--as a requirement in a gay relationship? Why does sexual monogamy=love for you? You seem to assume that the connection between the two is self-evident, when it's actually a (mostly unconscious) emotional choice. You language reveals how emotional it is for you. The fact that most gay men, like yourself, do connect monogamy with love doesn't mean that it is a logical connection.

 

I was sent an email by one of the moderators of this board who said I made my point, so in respect to him, I will follow his advice and stop posting in this post.

 

Best wishes in whatever makes you happy.

[josephga]

Unfortunately not surprising. Not making excuses. But philandering during unemployment is common as a substitute for self esteem.

 

He told me he felt guilty that I was the only one bring home a income. His car broke down which cost 500.00 to fix. he slept with someone for the 500,00

didn't change things for me he got dumped regardless

[+ deej]

I was sent an email by one of the moderators of this board who said I made my point, so in respect to him, I will follow his advice and stop posting in this post.

 

For those reading along, it wasn't me. And there's no mention of it in the moderators forum.

[Juan Vancouver]

My mistake.

 

Dear Twinkboylover,

 

I don't wish to highjack such an interesting thread, but since I read a few of your responses it is very clear to me that my original post was not clear enough for you to know exactly what I meant. I am sorry about this vagueness, and I will attempt to fix it here.

 

I not only respect but passionately celebrate your right to have your own, unique, intensely personal point of view. If you told us here that for you only a relationship in which people dine at burger kind everyday is a real relationship I might find it strange, but I would be the first one asking people to respect your views.

 

What I was trying to convey with my response to your post is that when we use statements trying to declare with certainty that certain things are right or wrong for -everyone- , our argument immediately loses validity.

 

Another discursive technique that will bring us to equally wrong conclusions is to say that "most people like this or that" and more clearly "Everybody would agree that..."

 

Statements like:

 

"Even grade kids know the difference between RIGHT or Wrong, or "black and white"."

 

"Most people would view those people/escorts as wh0res. That is a fact. Let's not sugarcoat or glorify the "occupation." Most people dont find wh0res "attractive." Am I wrong?"

 

"As I said earlier, people can debate all day long as to whether or not so-called open "relationships" or polyamory are REAL relationships; however, for the vast majority of normal thinking society, a real relationship does NOT involve cheating, sexually or emotionaly."

 

"This is a fact! Wheter or not you wish to admit it or not, or label it as "black and white."

 

And then you use clearly wrong statements as proof for your argument:

 

"That would never fly with most people, and you know it."

 

"Theres no way a girlfriend would let her boyfriend cheat on her and not be faithful, and still call him her "boyfriend."

 

(I know many happy couples that do precisely that and while you are right in some cases because she doesn't call him boyfriend, some calls him husband, Mister Thing, My love, and so on.)

 

Then you ask:

 

"Uhm, if someone enters into a MONOGAMOUS relationship with me, do yo uthink I'm being unreasonable expecting threm to be MONOGAMOUS?"

 

I think it is possible that he would agree with you. If you sign up for something, it would be nice if you get what you want. Just don't assume that everybody wants the same and don't say that this is a fact.

 

 

"Maybe YOU' are the one that is "narrow minded" in your belief that every gay man beleives the way you do...."

 

Wise words. I find it interesting that they come from yourself.

 

I myself, love disagreeing. I think that is what makes life richer and more interesting. However when someone comes to sharing with tools as brittle as "everyone knows" or "Nobody would agree" or "that is wrong, and you know it!" then I get a little disengaged and stop finding the exchange interesting.

 

I personally hope that you will find a partner that perfectly fits your idea of a perfect partner, with whom you will engage in a relationship with all the characteristics that you envision for a perfect relationship and sincerely hope that you will find it fulfilling.

 

But, yep, other people think, want, feel and hope for entirely different things.

 

And they have not only the right, but the obligation of committing with their idea of what they want.

 

Its so much fun being different!

[twinkboylover28]

 

If you told us here that for you only a relationship in which people dine at burger kind everyday is a real relationship I might find it strange, but I would be the first one asking people to respect your views.

 

 

Ok, first off most people would clearly write you off as a liberal loon when you equate monogamy with eating on a regular basis at burger king. You lose all credibility right there! Your far-left lidealogy amazes me with it's ignorance, and it's so ridiculously out of space that it could open up for a Jerry Seinfeld performance.

 

 

 

 

What I was trying to convey with my response to your post is that when we use statements trying to declare with certainty that certain things are right or wrong for -everyone- , our argument immediately loses validity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uhm, bull****! It's quite the opposite actually. An argument immediately strenghtens and gains validity.

 

 

 

 

Another discursive technique that will bring us to equally wrong conclusions is to say that "most people like this or that" and more clearly "Everybody would agree that..."

 

Statements like:

 

 

"Theres no way a girlfriend would let her boyfriend cheat on her and not be faithful, and still call him her "boyfriend."

 

(I know many happy couples that do precisely that and while you are right in some cases because she doesn't call him boyfriend, some calls him husband, Mister Thing, My love, and so on.)

 

 

 

 

With all due respect, you are living in the LAND of Oz with your out of space viewpoints o nmonogamous relationships. If yo uask any kid if cheating is right or wrong, gee whiz beaver, I wonder what they will say!!!

 

If you claim "many" couples are happy cheating on each other, and willingly do just that, then you're playing a game of semantics. In a world of 7 billion people, sure there will be many people who also practice coprophagia too, but they are not the majority. The yare the few, the rare, the extreme far left loons who do not represent what is mainstream and normally accepted. And yes, I can make judgments about so-called open "relationships" just as easily as yo uare making judgements on monogamous relationships. Double standard and hypocritical for me not to.

 

Maybe it's guilt-by-association, or birds-of-a-feather-flock-together, but I'm not surprised at all , and I can easily see where other prostittues maight have other prostitue friends who think like-mindedly, but rest assured, the vast majority of society does NOT agree with your viewpoint.

 

In fact MOST people would tell someone if their boyfriend cheats on them to dump him, because he will cheat again. Yo usee mto be saying that not only should she not dump him, but she should be his doormat and live with it because everybody does it.

 

The vast majprity of society would laugh in your face if you tell them it's perfectly acceptable for a girlfriend to allow her boyfriend to openly cheat on her. It is truly remarkable that you are so porud of your insame far-left viewpoint, which most fair-minded individuals would dismiss as crazy, to allow cheating and still call it a real monogamous relationship. Thats not a legititmate view.

 

 

It's the equivalent of me eating some hamburgers and still calling myself a vegitarian. Screw what everyone else i nsociety thinks, because im redefining what a vegetarian is, and making my own definition!

 

 

I appreciate your blatantly condescending and sarcastic attempt to patronize my mainstream point of view on normal monogamous relationships, but your self-serving comments on how being a wh0re "turns most people on becauase anyone with money can buy them" is very transparent.

 

Do you seriously think wh0res turn people on?

 

And most girlfriends woulnd NOT call a person who cheats on them their "boyfriend" or "husband" or " "mr thing" . Quite the opposite actually. Any self-respecting person would call him an EX-boyfriend, along with some other choice 4-letter words.

 

 

 

Then you ask:

 

"Uhm, if someone enters into a MONOGAMOUS relationship with me, do yo uthink I'm being unreasonable expecting threm to be MONOGAMOUS?"

 

I think it is possible that he would agree with you. If you sign up for something, it would be nice if you get what you want. Just don't assume that everybody wants the same and don't say that this is a fact.

 

 

 

 

God forbid I assume someone who enters into a MONOGAMOUS relationship would want the same thing everybody else does in a MONOGAMOUS relationship. HELLO! Again ,what planet are you on?

 

 

 

 

I myself, love disagreeing. I think that is what makes life richer and more interesting. However when someone comes to sharing with tools as brittle as "everyone knows" or "Nobody would agree" or "that is wrong, and you know it!" then I get a little disengaged and stop finding the exchange interesting.

 

 

Aww too bad. When LOONS come on and say everyone should live their life in the liberal "gray area", where there is no such thing as right and wrong, and everything goes i na free-for-all, then I too get a little disengaed with the anarchy!

 

 

 

 

 

I personally hope that you will find a partner that perfectly fits your idea of a perfect partner, with whom you will engage in a relationship with all the characteristics that you envision for a perfect relationship and sincerely hope that you will find it fulfilling.

 

 

As I personally hope you find someone who is willing to accept your extreme view of an open relationship, where there is no such thing as cheating. Why even call it a "relationship" if you can screw any guy you want? It's no different than being single and playing the field, but having your main skank that you screw.

 

That is not a loving relationship. That is called being a wh0re in MOST peoples minds.

 

 

 

But, yep, other people think, want, feel and hope for entirely different things.

 

And they have not only the right, but the obligation of committing with their idea of what they want.

 

Its so much fun being different!

 

 

It's frightening and disheartening knowing that people like you fight so valiantly for the right to be a wh0re...and to be proud of it. LOL It's preciselt this type of s*** that makes me, and many others, ashamed to be part of the gay community.

 

Best wishes in your pursuit of happiness, and God bless America.

[twinkboylover28]

Right here on earth tbl. Whether you like it or not we have evidence of it all around you. People who are not alone and still maintain a varied sex life and a loving relationship. It nay not be your idea of Paradise. Hell it may not be mine. But it works for a whole lot of people. Many less lonely than us because of it.

 

Honey, I'd be alone any day then be involved in that type of "relationship."

[twinkboylover28]

I didn't use the word monogamous. That's your hangup.

 

If you don't want to be in an open relationship then don't get into one. You do have that right and I'm not trying to take it away, but you have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to define what is correct, proper, or allowed for everyone else.

 

You can base your life on the views of grade school kids if you like. The rest of us generally prefer the views of adults.

 

 

Thats absurd! That's like sayimng if im pro-life I dont have the right to look down on people who have abortions. Absolutely ridiculous.

[twinkboylover28]

You could threaten to "go Hillary" on 'em. The threat of that worked wonders to keep Bill's zipper up.

 

Oh, wait....

 

Everyone knows Bill and Hillary's relationship is a farce. But perhaps you're living under a rock and dont want to beleive that either. Even my liberal friends say it's a "relationship" out of political convenience for power. Any self-respecting woman would have dumped him, just like Sandra Bullock dropped Jesse James.

[twinkboylover28]

One guy did cheat on me. I dumped 4 of his favorite outfits into a washing machine with a quart of bleach. then broke his nose. Then told his mother he cheated on me. reason i told her was because he told her that every guy he dated cheated on him and she told me when we first met to please not do the same. and i was making sure she knew the score. He had lost his job and i paid all his bills for 4 months and that's how I'm repaid screw that.

 

That is absolutely devastating and horrible. You didnt deserve to be humiliated, disrespected, and betrayed i nthe most intimate way.

[twinkboylover28]

You still haven't answered my question: Why would you use the emotional reasons of heterosexual women, who have a legitimate interest in their partners' sexual fidelty--even if they don't love their men--as a requirement in a gay relationship? Why does sexual monogamy=love for you? You seem to assume that the connection between the two is self-evident, when it's actually a (mostly unconscious) emotional choice. You language reveals how emotional it is for you. The fact that most gay men, like yourself, do connect monogamy with love doesn't mean that it is a logical connection.

 

Emotional reasons?

Legitimate interest?

 

sexual monogamy=love for MOST

 

Again, you're attempting to play semantic word games about love and emotion, when the fact is most gay men are pefectly logical in their understanding and expectations from a monogamous relationship.

[AdamSmith]

Honey, I'd be alone any day then be involved in that type of "relationship."

 

So you have what you want.

 

Your reflexive appending of "monogamous" to "relationship" is the core of your circular logic.

[twinkboylover28]

For those reading along, it wasn't me. And there's no mention of it in the moderators forum.

 

"It wasn't me. It wasn't me!" Talk about acting like a child LOL

 

Thank you for giving me permission to continue posting then Deej

[twinkboylover28]

So you have what you want.

 

Your reflexive appending of "monogamous" to "relationship" is the core of your circular logic.

 

Your reflexive appending of "open" to "relationship" is likewise the core of your circular logic.

 

God bless!

[AdamSmith]

Your reflexive appending of "open" to "relationship" is likewise the core of your circular logic.

 

I don't think I have used the word "open" in this thread.

 

I would say "choice."

[+ deej]

I was sent an email by one of the moderators of this board who said I made my point, so in respect to him, I will follow his advice and stop posting in this post.

 

So much for your respect to the moderator who wrote to you, eh? Or for your personal integrity in standing behind your own words.

 

As I personally hope you find someone who is willing to accept your extreme view of an open relationship, where there is no such thing as cheating. Why even call it a "relationship" if you can screw any guy you want? It's no different than being single and playing the field, but having your main skank that you screw.

 

That is not a loving relationship. That is called being a wh0re in MOST peoples minds.

 

It's frightening and disheartening knowing that people like you fight so valiantly for the right to be a wh0re...and to be proud of it. LOL It's preciselt this type of s*** that makes me, and many others, ashamed to be part of the gay community.

 

Dang. More and more of that personal respect. It just drips right offa you.

 

Thats absurd! That's like sayimng if im pro-life I dont have the right to look down on people who have abortions.

 

Now you're catching on! HTH

[NYTomcat]

Honey, I'd be alone any day then be involved in that type of "relationship."

 

Well then. Wish granted. Are we done here now? Honey.

 

Just wondering with such hatred for working escorts and those who hire. Doesn't it seem problematic for you to have these twinks you hire turn you on. The self loathing must be awful.

 

In any event. I think we all understand why you hire. Anyone else?