How to deal with stalkers?

[gregkidman]

Ryan Cade, alas, is leaving the business because of some stalker.

Which brings up the question on how other escorts deal with stalkers? Are police effective? What steps should escorts use to keep stalkers risk factor to a minimum?

[josephga]

I decided to pop in and contribute to this question because iv seen how it can effect someone. When you work in adult entertainment you can’t risk contacting the police. I gave massages for 6 ½ years in an apartment never a problem until something happened to me and I had to call the police. A week later I was charged with running a business in a residential area. When you call the police not only do they check out the person you are reporting they check you out as well..

[jimboivyo]

Fringe industry breeds fringe personal dealings. Youve always got to be aware of what kind of information you're putting online. Cloak everything. Know that in a place like this message center, there are readers who are just waiting to exploit what you say. I've seen it happen to guys I know.

[Guest ChgoBoy]

Fringe industry breeds fringe personal dealings. Youve always got to be aware of what kind of information you're putting online. Cloak everything. Know that in a place like this message center, there are readers who are just waiting to exploit what you say. I've seen it happen to guys I know.

 

This is the second time in just a few days that you have expressed or suggested that there are readers or members here that are using these forums and the information contained within to perhaps execute wrong doings upon others.

 

Could you please elaborate on that and have you brought this to anyone's attention who could do something about it?

[jimboivyo]

Mods and management know info breaches happen to both the good and bad escorts out there. It's not a shock to know that a buncha personal information is shared in private messages between posters. I have no care to elaborate, but simply warn people here to always be aware of what they're posting.

 

Anyone around to remember the time hb's driver's license info was posted? It's scary how easy it is to get that kind of detail on someone. Thanks google.

[AdamSmith]

Mods and management know info breaches happen to both the good and bad escorts out there. It's not a shock to know that a buncha personal information is shared in private messages between posters. I have no care to elaborate, but simply warn people here to always be aware of what they're posting.

 

jimboivyo, one would be interested to know if your insinuation that this forum is a medium for stalkers to breach escorts' privacy has any evidence you know of behind it. I have known a number of escorts who suffered and suffer personal threats solely because of their publicly advertising their images and contact information on escort advertising sites, without any reference to this or similar forums.

[instudiocity]

I gave massages for 6 ½ years in an apartment never a problem until something happened to me and I had to call the police. A week later I was charged with running a business in a residential area. When you call the police not only do they check out the person you are reporting they check you out as well..

 

I would suggest you were charged with operating an unlicensed home business.

 

When I got my business license for my sales organization, I had to sign a statement under penalty of perjury that my home business as to the amount traffic my business would have other than the normal flow of postal and delivery carriers and what my hours of operation would be.

 

One of the requirements of operating a business is securing a business license. Unfortunately operating a home business that has people coming and going throughout the day and/or night is generally illegal by statue. Supposedly because the traffic would interfere with the peace and tranquility of the neighborhood. That's why there are residential districts and business districts.

 

Had your neighbors complained you'd have been charged with operating an unlicensed home business. Had you secured a license, you'd have been restricted to certain operating hours and amount of traffic you would have then even if the neighbors had complained, you were within your license to operate the business.

[josephga]

I have a massage license but didn't have a business license. most city's will not issue a license to give massage from home. My landlord knew I did it and pretty much looked the other way because I kept my nose clean no complaints and paid my rent early. for 6 1/2 years no one cared. Until someone new moved in next too me, she would blast music at all hours of the night and would physically fight in the parking lot. I made a comment about the noise her bf threatened my life and i called the cops. a week later i was charged close to 4000.00 in fines for operating a business. I think when i reported the person next door it put me on the radar and the police found it much easier to get rid of my ass than deal with the neighbor. Since then i know of 2 others who have started offering massage in the same area in an apartment which you can not get a license for and the police have done nothing... It was personal the police found it easier too just get rid of my ass than do something about my complaint.. If I had never called the cops with my complaint I have no doubt I'd still be in business.

[JackTwist]

In-calls and Stalkers?

 

Several escorts tell me they refuse to do "in-calls" because of fear that some crazed client could turn into a stalker. That makes good sense and I couldn't blame them for not wanting clients to know the location of their home. It seems like guys who offer in-call appointments would be at even greater danger for stalkers, right?

[+ glutes]

Mods and management know info breaches happen to both the good and bad escorts out there. It's not a shock to know that a buncha personal information is shared in private messages between posters. I have no care to elaborate, but simply warn people here to always be aware of what they're posting.

 

jimboi, who are the bad escorts out there? How do you know private info is shared in private messages?

[JoeyBryant]

It seems like guys who offer in-call appointments would be at even greater danger for stalkers, right?

 

Not necessarily. In conservative states like Texas where you have to post your license plate on both the front and back of the vehicle, its not a leap of faith to simply get someone's plate number and look them up.

 

If someone was doing an outcall to a residence, is one example.

[Romann]

How I dealt with inappropriate client behavior/visit.

 

It seems like guys who offer in-call appointments would be at even greater danger for stalkers, right?

 

I do a lot of In Calls at my apartment in downtown Dallas and honestly, I feel very secure and take comfort that my building is heavily monitored by cameras, key fob access (all doors magnetize past 6PM and a security guard is posted at the main office by the front doors) and facial images and live video are recorded at all entry points including elevators, hallways and private/secured underground resident parking. Anytime a guest buzzes at the main doors, I turn on my television to a certain channel which gives me a live video feed of who is at the main doors on the 1st level so I can verify who is requesting access before I buzz them in.

 

That said, I did have an incident with a past client during my first six months of escorting who was in the hallway of the floor in which I live. I was picking up my mail one level down and when I came back to my floor he was standing there not more than 30 feet from my front door. Out of shock but not registering it on my face or in my body language, I kindly asked how he was doing and if he knew someone in the building that he might be visiting. He replied "No" and further clarified that he was hoping to see me even though we didn't have an appointment. After quickly seeing where it was going, I told him that I really wasn't available but if he wanted to schedule some time with me he could certainly call or email me in advance and I would happily set something up with him. Thinking that was the end of the issue, I went on about my day but it was just a couple days later that I found him in the building again wondering the hallways of my floor since the building isn't secured during business hours. The second time I wasn't as polite about the issue and informed him that showing up at my apartment complex without knowing anyone in the building was nothing but inappropriate and could be construed as a bit "stalker-ish". Taking matters into my own hands, I asked him to leave the building and I would have to notify security which I did being he had no business in the building. To further back my statement to him, I was very clear in my warning that it was no longer in our best interests to continue our working relationship going forward to ensure not only the personal safety of myself but also fellow residents of my community. Being I have a very close relationship with the leasing staff and Director of the complex, I informed them of the two incidents shortly after I walked him out of the building and kindly asked him *NOT* to return or contact me for any reason - all said with a smile but a firm voice and direct eye contact the entire time all under the guidance of the live video feeds on the resident floors. When he attempted to supply me with a handful of excuses I simply said him being in the building was still inappropriate and if necessary, I would take further action and not limited to contacting the authorities to report his behavior as an unauthorized person in the building. THAT was the last time I ever saw or heard from him again and I firmly believe it was because I took an immediate position that I was serious about my wish to not see him in the building or communicate with him going forward. It was made crystal clear that he had far more to lose if he continued with these surprise visits.

 

It is always best to take and immediate stand in these instances and show no fear in the face of danger. Our safety is of the utmost importance and I will do what is necessary to ensure that simple fact again for myself but also my fellow community residents. Be firm. Be direct. Don't back down. That was the only problem I have had but I dealt with it quickly and firmly which resulted in him not showing his face again within my sight. At the end of the day we all must do what is necessary to protect ourselves.

 

I would personally never live in a location that doesn't have such security features like mine because it is impossible to lock a building down 24 hours a day or prevent people from simply following other residents in through many entry points so stand up for yourself and don't back down. While I know this will not work in all situations, this is how I dealt with that problem and it worked out 100% with no further problems from that client or any other problems from any other clients.

 

On a side note... when I completed this post I noticed that it was my 666th post which is ironic considering the topic but also the mark of Satan if you subscribe to such theories/beliefs. WEIRD! (Twilight Zone music begins)

[Romann]

Solution.

 

In conservative states like Texas where you have to post your license plate on both the front and back of the vehicle, its not a leap of faith to simply get someone's plate number and look them up.

 

When I worked in banking for 7 years we had a term which is still commonly used and referred to as "KYC" which simply means "Know Your Client". In this instance, if you don't and you're requested to do an Out Call to their private home, simply park around the block/corner from their home/location if you're concerned with the client recording and looking up your plate tags and enjoy a short walk to their front door. If you're going to a hotel, the issue is pretty mute because there is public parking which would essentially mask your car among many.

[NYTomcat]

I would personally never live in a location that doesn't have such security features like mine because it is impossible to lock a building down 24 hours a day or prevent people from simply following other residents in through many entry points so stand up for yourself and don't back down.

 

On a side note... when I completed this post I noticed that it was my 666th post which is ironic considering the topic but also the mark of Satan if you subscribe to such theories/beliefs. WEIRD! (Twilight Zone music begins)

 

Now weird enough thats true I love its your satanic post. but the reality is the strangers outside your walls are not the real problem. The real problem is when you have the nutty residents of your own community and building who start tearing the place apart and breaking down doors. Hmmm but i guess that never really happens. right R

[JoeyBryant]

simply park around the block/corner from their home/location if you're concerned with the client recording and looking up your plate tags and enjoy a short walk to their front door. If you're going to a hotel, the issue is pretty mute because there is public parking which would essentially mask your car among many.

 

That is a good point. However, in my case I'm not concerned about it too much on my end. I dont have Texas plates and where I'm from its only necessary to have 1 plate on the back. They'd just be wasting their time trying to stalk me half way across the country LOL.

 

But thats scary though. To see some guy standing way down the hallway? Soon as he said he didn't know anyone there I probably would have straight up tossed him down the stairwell LOL.

[Guest greatness]

oh my!

 

You must have been hot in those fancy suits and shoes offering hand shakes.. I would have stalked you if I had seen you at one of the banks I go to.. I would just faint in front of you when you offer your hands. Water please~~~

[gregkidman]

Thanks for writing

 

...all said with a smile but a firm voice and direct eye contact the entire time. Be firm. Be direct. Don't back down.

Great advice about nipping the stalker tendencies in the bud. I hope all escorts will take your advice to heart. Thank you for taking the time to write about your experience.

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

When I lived in Florida. . .

 

Great advice about nipping the stalker tendencies in the bud. I hope all escorts will take your advice to heart. Thank you for taking the time to write about your experience.

 

Folks just fed stalkers to the gators