kinky *and* young/jockish

[marxbro]

i think most of the kink/fetish talk is in the deli so i thought i would try here for this one.. and maybe bring more fetish chatter to this separate area. *shrug*

 

anyways, i had a private craigslist experience many years ago.. where an older, muscle-top kinda guy (not my usual type) came over and gave me a light introduction to submission and bondage. it was amazing, and found myself doing things i'd never pictured before.

 

so back to the present, once in a while i join the recon.com site, see who's local and into kink. the things i am interested in: being bound, paddled, "forced", forced submission, rough sex.

 

but it seems like, in general, this is mutually exclusive to the body type of the guys i usually go for -- the younger, smooth, slightly muscular jockish type dudes. a good example of my taste is seward in sf. many guys on recon and on the review site that seem to be into these things are not attractive to me. i end up deleting my recon account, only to re-join a year later and seek again.

 

but.. i would much prefer a discreet escort for personal reasons.. but im not sure if it's something i can find.

 

thoughts or advice?

[whipped guy]

Some thoughts...

 

marxbro... we are most likely into different body types, but I have had problems finding guys that fit my ideal profile as well. My solution is to search out the types of guys to whom I am most attracted... and even if they basically advertise a vanilla scene. I usually choose well-reviewed escorts and ask if they would consider getting involved with a bit of kink. It has surprisingly worked out quite nicely a number of times. Of course it is usually better to deal with a skilled specialist in these matters, but when none is available this is the route that I have taken. I usually begin with an articulate email describing in a courteous, respectful, and non-aggressive manner what I would be interested in accomplishing during the session... tread lightly in other words... and make known the fact that you would be comfortable doing such a scene if and only if they would be comfortable doing such a scene. Of course be sure to set limits and make sure that you are on the same page... That's why you want well-reviewed guys... guys that are intelligent, bright, and clever... and guys that are sane and would be respectful of your limits. It will take some homework, a bit of hit and miss, but it can be done. In your case if you are thinking of keeping things a bit low key... and it would be better to keep things that way for starters... then it just might work.

 

PS: Thanks to Daddy for the "upgrade" to the Fetish Forum...perhaps we will see more action here in this new position...

[marxbro]

whipped guy,

 

thanks for the advice. it's hard to compete with my first experience i think, since the guy who taught me was a specialist i guess, and brought equipment and toys i guess the weird thing about it all was i wouldn't pick the guy out from a crowd. i guess there are subtle things about kink and fetish that make them quite a big different than vanilla sex.

 

i think i will do as you suggest and find some guys i would like to have this experience with and see if they would be up for something like that.

[Mark Gordon]

Younger guys mostly haven't yet fully explored their sexuality or experienced an evolution in their tastes beyond the vanilla, though there are exceptions.

 

There also seem to be cultural hotspots for kinkiness. When I lived in London UK, I had the opportunity to accommodate various fetishes and roleplay scenes much more frequently than I do now.

[whipped guy]

whipped guy,

 

thanks for the advice. it's hard to compete with my first experience i think, since the guy who taught me was a specialist i guess, and brought equipment and toys i guess the weird thing about it all was i wouldn't pick the guy out from a crowd. i guess there are subtle things about kink and fetish that make them quite a big different than vanilla sex.

 

i think i will do as you suggest and find some guys i would like to have this experience with and see if they would be up for something like that.

Well I was lucky to hook up with several hot guys and learn the ropes in the begining... In fact one was so clean cut and the perfect model type that he defied the stereotypical S&M escort. In fact that's what I like, intelligent muscular guys who have a sense of kindness about them, yet yet have a nasty and wild streak in them and can give me that feeling of being overpowered and being at their mercy. So, if you can't find guys that fit the bill... learn as much as you can... even if you need to see specialists who are really not your ideal type to get there. That way you will be able to impart a bit of knowledge to whomever you are working with. I wasn't sure if you were into "toys"... so get your own... just a few simple things to start with, learn how to use them, and how you like them used on you, and use them in a safe and sane fashion... and quite possibly you might be able to train your ideal guy as your own personal kink escort. Remember the best kink/BDSM tops have had experience as bottoms. However, most have not... as it is really not their thing... However, if you can impart your feelings and needs to the top you might just create a win-win situation.

 

Younger guys mostly haven't yet fully explored their sexuality or experienced an evolution in their tastes beyond the vanilla, though there are exceptions.

You are probably right to a certain extent as it is an acquired skill and very often involves a bit of evolution to get there... However, the best of the best have said that it was something that they felt that they needed to do from the very begining... something that was in their blood from a very early age.

[Guest Spanky]

Marx,

 

You got some great advice from Whipped (of course). From your original post it sounds like you're not terribly experienced in this area, so the idea of finding an escort that you're really into and slowly - and more importantly safely - expanding your horizons is a great one.

 

You'll hear in these boards that a lot of escorts advertise that they are into BDSM but when push comes to shove they really have little experience. Ok, I might buy that, but there is so much variation in how people define BDSM that I'm inclined to cut these guys some slack. That cuts the other way too - escorts who don't list SM would probably be more than happy to play with you. Personally, I don't hire for hardcore play, but I do love escorts that aren't afraid to play rough. In fact, they only semi-regular guy I hire has a relatively vanilla profile but he loves to (or at least pretends to) tie me up and do things to me that I wouldn't want my mother to know about. Sounds like a similar situation for you, since you said you're into some light bondage and rougher sex. Believe me, there are a ton of escorts that would accommodate you this way, regardless of whether they consider themselves to be a BDSM expert. So like Whipped said, don't be afraid to find a guy you like and then let him know what you want. I guess my point from this diatribe is that you should not be turned off and frustrated just because you see a guy you're hot for, but his profile looks a little vanilla for you.

 

If, as you start to get more serious, you find that you want to get into some more extreme play, then you SHOULD spend some time with an expert. There are certain things you need to be knowledgeable about in order to be safe, especially if you want to get into things like electroplay, flogging, heavy CBT, restrictive bondage and heavy ropework, or sounding (that last one makes me shudder). Plus, you did mention in your OP that you had a great time with the first experience, and that guy wasn't necessarily your cup-of-tea. Suggests that perhaps you're at least as much into the activity as you are the guy? And anyway, when you're tied up and blindfolded, maybe the exact right body type isn't the most important thing...

 

Anyway, sorry for the tome. I do hope you enjoy yourself as you start the wonderful journey to the dark side.

[whipped guy]

Another chapter...

 

…you should not be turned off and frustrated just because you see a guy you're hot for, but his profile looks a little vanilla for you... If, as you start to get more serious, you find that you want to get into some more extreme play, then you SHOULD spend some time with an expert. There are certain things you need to be knowledgeable about in order to be safe, especially if you want to get into things like electroplay, flogging, heavy CBT, restrictive bondage and heavy ropework, or sounding (that last one makes me shudder)….

Marxbro… Good advice from Spanky as well…actually great advice! Perhaps Spanky, I, and a few others who post here should get together some day and write a few volumes on the subject. Perhaps you will even contribute a chapter or two one of these days as well!

Now if you do decide to do the advanced course do consult an expert. I have done some wild and crazy things, but have always drawn the line at some of the scarier things… such as sounds… ain’t goin’ there either Spanky! (Though some say that you haven’t lived… but there are too many issues regarding safety, sterilization, etc. Plus it is makes me “shudder” as well!) I also ain’t gonna try piercings, mummification, or my “favorite” item on the verboten list… being set ablaze with a violet wand… really some folks out there can be a bit insane… so tread slowly and sensibly.

At any rate, do enjoy your exploration of the dark side and do keep us posted!

[marxbro]

i am not up for doing anything "scary" .. just... "eyebrow raising" hahaha.

[whipped guy]

i am not up for doing anything "scary" .. just... "eyebrow raising" hahaha.

marxbro...eyebrow raising...

 

ROTFLMFAO!

[Businessguy]

Expert in SF

 

Marxbro - I see you're in SF. I suggest you check out the reviews for Master Jeff in SF and visit his web site at http://www.masterjeffbdsm.com. I have played with him 5+ times and even done 3-ways with him. I've written a couple of his reviews. He is a very sane, smart and creative guy who gets off turning you on rather than just brutalizing you. So whatever your desires are, he'd be happy to teach you in a very clean and safe enviornment. He has the very best play space I have ever been in.

I know you initially said you were attracted more to younger guys. Master Jeff is not old and looks younger than his age and is in great physical shape. I think if you learned more about what you like from a guy like Master Jeff, you'd be better prepared to search out younger guys who are just learning or willing to try something more kinky. The difference would be you would be able to coach the younger guy and know if he is really capable of making sure you are safe throughout the session. You would be putting yourself at more risk if the guy is inexperienced and stupid at the same time.

I agree with Spanky and Whippedguy. Start with a well reviewed, experienced and trustworthy Dom and then go from there.

Master Jeff is very cool and I'm sure he'd be willing to answer your questions in an email or over the phone. Don't be shy, embarrassed or afraid of him. He's a very nice guy, likes what you like, and will honor your limits but help you expand them as you go.

[marxbro]

master jeff's facilities look quite amazing. he is really not my type physically, but after reading some of the reviews... mmmff *shiver*

 

all very good advice. thank you everybody.

[Guest Spanky]

he is really not my type physically, but after reading some of the reviews... mmmff *shiver*

 

And THAT would be my point from before. If I've learned anything, it's that attitude and experience count. If forced to chose between a guy's attitude and his external attributes, attitude wins every time.

[Businessguy]

Another idea

 

Marxbro - Try this. Do a get-acquainted session with Master Jeff. If things go well ask him if he'd be willing to do a 3-way as a mentor. Then go find your twink/jock who is willing to learn something new and then take him with you and let Master Jeff teach him with you as the subject. Then you're off to the races with your own professionally trained young twink/jock Dom. Bet that would be faster and cheaper than a hit or miss trial and error search on your own.

[whipped guy]

I think marxbro now has his game plan!

 

...attitude wins every time.

Yep! A guy with a winning disposition who is willing to take good care of "his boy" will trump all!

Marxbro - Try this.

Businessguy! A stroke of genius! Yes!

[marxbro]

huh... a well experienced and equipped master training a young jock with me as the subject.. i think i just wet myself.

[whipped guy]

There's a smile on marxbro's face...

 

...i think i just wet myself.

 

Not to mention those raised eyebrows!

 

At any rate, not being familiar with any San Francisco escorts I just checked out Master Jeff. He is emphatically not my physical ideal. However, he has the equipment, the experience, and a dedicated play-space (something that is difficult to find at least back east… usually it’s a converted bedroom) and that’s what counts. In fact he reminds me of one of the guys with whom I hooked up a number of years ago. Same body type, similar tattoos etc… not a looker in my book, but very skilled, and kind. (Yes, the really good ones are caring and compassionate!!) I learned a heck of a lot from him.

 

So go for it! Hopefully you will have the right chemistry and things will escalate from there. If all goes according to plan you will be surprised by how much you will enjoy yourself… and then when you finally get to do the deed with your ideal young jock your pleasures will know no bounds… well you might be bound up a bit if that is your thing… but I think you get my drift!!!!

 

Also, check out www.boundgods.com and view the video trailers... a new one is released every Thursday. It will give you an idea of some of the possibilities out there and what types of activities you might want to consider for the future. By the way, boundgods regulars Tyler Saint and Nick Moretti are both examples of what I consider to be the ideal S&M top.

[Guest Spanky]

Nick Moretti

 

By the way, boundgods regulars Tyler Saint and Nick Moretti are both examples of what I consider to be the ideal S&M top.

 

You're speaking my language bro. Tyler has a great cock, but there's something about Nick that's just so steamy. He makes me swoon like a 13 year old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert.

 

Here, with Brandon Clark (no one is kicking this hunk out of bed either):

 

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_YSdCT2tYWL8/ShDbel3TaZI/AAAAAAAAD6o/rBZleeI-P2k/s400/nick+moretti_brandon+clark.JPG

 

and this one, with Tyler, too hot for the Forum:

http://queermenow.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/bullwhipped.jpg

 

Maybe these should have gone in the gallery. Sorry if that's the case.

[whipped guy]

One more thought

 

One additional thought. I am not sure if anything like this exists in San Fran, but in NYC there is the New York Bondage Club. It is not only a place where guys can get together to practice their skills and have some fun, but also a spot to learn from the experts as well. While I don’t get to attend very often such a forum has proven to be a valuable learning experience. I have even seen escorts along with clients and potential clients attend. In addition, couples who are in the process of investigating such a scene for their own edification can also been seen attending. Also, you might wish to attend on your own and learn the ropes so to speak. A while back an escort canceled on me at the last minute and needing it bad I gave the NYBC a shot… and it proved to be just what the doctor ordered.

 

So if such an organization exists it might just prove to be a valuable adjunct to the suggestions above.

[+ Charlie]

I thought I remembered reading a review once of a threesome with Master Jeff and AndrewD of San Diego, in which Andrew was "mentored" by Jeff, so I checked the reviews, and it is there--and it was by businessguy! Andrew is certainly a different physical type than Jeff, and might be a good choice for another training session. (I have never hired Andrew, but I have met him a couple of times and can vouch that he is hot as hell, and he has nothing but rave reviews from all kinds of clients.)