LOVE COMPANIONS CONNECTION and ESCORTING

[NYTomcat]

So my mind has been wandering all day as I drove around a lot on business. All the while, as you all know by now, I was listening to music – my passion. In this case the Wicked Soundtrack as I have planned a great birthday for myself and my 3rd trip to Wicked is included in that package. This time with some very special people who really know me, some from this very forum. Anyway I digress.

 

What I could not get out of my head have been all the posts about the client/escort relationship. I know many here just hire for the sexual experience but for those that truly seek what we generally refer to as the BF experience (whatever that means) What are we seeking? Do we fall in love with escorts? If so, why, when we know the folly? Do we seek companionship? Connection? Just someone to share our lives with that we seem we cannot share with anyone else. Perhaps it is sad, as Zipperzone noted, that for many of us the people in our lives don’t know us like our escorts do. ( A note of Thank you Bart & Okie and I’m sure others, for your posts that have so honestly shared that I don’t seek these things alone)

 

Words have power and meaning for me so trying to define the relationship is very important to me. I know I seek the feeling of a friendship and while I am the realist and do not see a long lasting love arising from the escort client relationship, there is something more, something beyond a friend. (The old Friend with benefits but just what is that?) Many have posted on the performance nature of meeting with escorts and that hit on something for me. I can, when we are together, enjoy the fantasy. For that brief moment I can feel the connection that romance provides. Its fleeting and its momentary but so are the most emotional times in our lives. For that brief moment, I am in a whirlwind romance. One that I know will end and a friendship will hopefully remain. But I will carry the memory of that experience with me for the rest of my life. What is life but a collection of these high and low emotional experiences?

 

While words have power-- they can incite wars, mollify angry mobs, romance the object of your desire-- when put to music they come to life and have magic…at least for me. I was truly struck as I sat pondering this as my Wicked soundtrack started a song. I’ve heard and loved this song for years, but it never carried the weight of meaning the way it did with these thoughts on my mind. For me, it characterized exactly that moment I get from being with a special escort, that fleeting moment of romance which while not everlasting is still just as intense and fulfilling. That moment that may never come again but is so special in its short life, I don’t care. With that in mind, I share the song with you and the lyrics below. I have held off posting on this topic deeply to know I had my own feelings in order. This is what I have come up with and given how much you have all influenced my thoughts, I wanted to share them with you. Obviously I suggest listening but I have the lyrics so you can see the words, and the meaning they can carry in this context

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHtet0DYr9w

 

KISS ME TOO FIERCELY

HOLD ME TOO TIGHT

I NEED HELP BELIEVING

YOU'RE WITH ME TONIGHT

MY WILDEST DREAMINGS

COULD NOT FORESEE

LYING BESIDE YOU

WITH YOU WANTING ME

 

JUST FOR THIS MOMENT

AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE

I'VE LOST ALL RESISTANCE

AND CROSSED SOME BORDERLINE

AND IF IT TURNS OUT

IT'S OVER TOO FAST

I'LL MAKE EV'RY LAST MOMENT LAST

AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE…

 

MAYBE I'M BRAINLESS

MAYBE I'M WISE

BUT YOU'VE GOT ME SEEING

THROUGH DIFFERENT EYES

SOMEHOW I'VE FALLEN

UNDER YOUR SPELL

AND SOMEHOW I'M FEELING

IT'S "UP" THAT I FELL ...

 

EVERY MOMENT

AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE

I'LL WAKE UP MY BODY

AND MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME...

SAY THERE'S NO FUTURE

FOR US AS A PAIR ...

AND THOUGH I MAY KNOW

I DON'T CARE …

 

JUST FOR THIS MOMENT

AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE

COME BE HOW YOU WANT TO

AND SEE HOW BRIGHT WE SHINE

BORROW THE MOONLIGHT

UNTIL IT IS THROUGH

AND KNOW I'LL BE HERE HOLDING YOU

AS LONG AS YOU'RE MINE...

 

What is it?

It's just-- for the first time, I feel wicked.

[Guest zipperzone]

Hey Tomcat: Don't know why exactly but somehow I found those words uncomfortably sad......

[KMEM]

I don't find the words sad. Everyone has to deal with their own reality, their own expectations and decide what they want out of a relationship and how to achieve it. Like alcoholism, drug additiction and other maladies that afflict mankind, if it is affecting your every day life then perhaps you are too emotionally involved. Otherwise, it is no one's business but your own.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[Guest TBinCHI]

Great Post!

 

Especially after the emotions generated by the latest timeouter! I think depending on where clients are emotionally, those words can vacillate between sad, hopeful, and affirming. At different points, they certainly could have affected me in all those ways. Currently, I'm at affirming. But to answer your question directly, I also think that clients hire for different reasons depending on the circumstances of their lives.

 

There are obviously many on here who hire strictly for sexual fulfillment, and some for boyfriend experiences, and some for other reasons. My personal experience is that I hired to learn - how to be with men, how to express myself as a gay man, and how to feel comfortable doing so. As I progressed, I hired for a boyfriend experience and that was helpful because it helped me define the life that I am looking for. It did get uncomfortable for me as I started idealizing one escort in particular. So, I took a long break from hiring and am now at the point where I am hiring for judgment free, emotionally intimate experiences that I am very careful not to take too far. I do agree with you, though, that with certain escorts, there is definitely "something" beyond the here and now of the actual experience. Figuring out what that "something" is can be as fun as the actual time together.

[+ nycman]

I hire....to fuck.....grin

[Guest greatness]

well said

 

TBinCHI I agree with you. You've touched my heart! You are so insightful~~

 

 

There are obviously many on here who hire strictly for sexual fulfillment, and some for boyfriend experiences, and some for other reasons. My personal experience is that I hired to learn - how to be with men, how to express myself as a gay man, and how to feel comfortable doing so. As I progressed, I hired for a boyfriend experience and that was helpful because it helped me define the life that I am looking for. It did get uncomfortable for me as I started idealizing one escort in particular. So, I took a long break from hiring and am now at the point where I am hiring for judgment free, emotionally intimate experiences that I am very careful not to take too far. I do agree with you, though, that with certain escorts, there is definitely "something" beyond the here and now of the actual experience. Figuring out what that "something" is can be as fun as the actual time together.

[Okliehomo]

Well said, TB...

 

What you wrote pretty much sums it up for me as well. As I have said too many times this has been a journey for me. I certainly wanted different things out of it when I first started than I do now. It was always about sex, for sure, but also about, as you said, learning to be comfortable with men and my own desires. It was a safe haven for me where I was in control, (or at least, I set all the terms) and I had a pretty good idea of the outcome. Not that it always worked out... but 99% of the time, it damned sure did.

 

Since NYTomcat shared a song (and a great one, I might add.. very touching).... I will, too... how Glee of me, I know.... but this song pretty much is how I feel about it all these days;

 

Hush, don't talk now..

It won't change anything anyhow.

Just hold me close while the shadows bring us near.

I know you are not in love with me.

I'm not asking you to be.

And there's no use pretending why we're here.

 

You don't need to try and fool me.

You don't need to lead me on.

You don't need to say you love me.

I've been around enough to know.

 

Wait, don't tell a lie...

Because I just might believe it tonight,

And I know you're only trying to ease my mind.

But don't worry, it's alright.

I don't care if its wrong or its right.

Just hold me close and love me one more time.

 

You don't need to try and fool me.

You don't need to lead me on.

You don't need to say you love me.

I've been around enough to know.

 

Okie

[Guest greatness]

what a nice song!

 

Thank!

 

 

Since NYTomcat shared a song (and a great one, I might add.. very touching).... I will, too... how Glee of me, I know.... but this song pretty much is how I feel about it all these days;

 

Hush, don't talk now..

It won't change anything anyhow.

Just hold me close while the shadows bring us near.

I know you are not in love with me.

I'm not asking you to be.

And there's no use pretending why we're here.

 

You don't need to try and fool me.

You don't need to lead me on.

You don't need to say you love me.

I've been around enough to know.

 

Wait, don't tell a lie...

Because I just might believe it tonight,

And I know you're only trying to ease my mind.

But don't worry, it's alright.

I don't care if its wrong or its right.

Just hold me close and love me one more time.

 

You don't need to try and fool me.

You don't need to lead me on.

You don't need to say you love me.

I've been around enough to know.

 

Okie

[Guest TBinCHI]

Will my gay card be revoked?

 

What you wrote pretty much sums it up for me as well. As I have said too many times this has been a journey for me. I certainly wanted different things out of it when I first started than I do now. It was always about sex, for sure, but also about, as you said, learning to be comfortable with men and my own desires. It was a safe haven for me where I was in control, (or at least, I set all the terms) and I had a pretty good idea of the outcome. Not that it always worked out... but 99% of the time, it damned sure did.

 

Since NYTomcat shared a song (and a great one, I might add.. very touching).... I will, too... how Glee of me, I know.... but this song pretty much is how I feel about it all these days;

 

Hush, don't talk now..

It won't change anything anyhow.

Just hold me close while the shadows bring us near.

I know you are not in love with me.

I'm not asking you to be.

And there's no use pretending why we're here.

 

You don't need to try and fool me.

You don't need to lead me on.

You don't need to say you love me.

I've been around enough to know.

 

Wait, don't tell a lie...

Because I just might believe it tonight,

And I know you're only trying to ease my mind.

But don't worry, it's alright.

I don't care if its wrong or its right.

Just hold me close and love me one more time.

 

You don't need to try and fool me.

You don't need to lead me on.

You don't need to say you love me.

I've been around enough to know.

 

Okie

 

As much as I probably should (being gay and all ;-0), i don't recognize this song. Where is it from and who sings it? The lyrics are terrific.

[Guest greatness]

I wondered about that too

 

was too timid to ask... Thanks for asking for me!

 

As much as I probably should (being gay and all ;-0), i don't recognize this song. Where is it from and who sings it? The lyrics are terrific.

[+ purplekow]

John Schneider, I've Been Around Enough to Know Lyrics Starsky and Hutch wasnt the only duo to spawn a singer. Those Duke Boys spawned two. Though the other one was hotter, in my opinion.

[Guest greatness]

Thanks!

 

It's a very emotional song.

John Schneider, I've Been Around Enough to Know Lyrics[/url] Starsky and Hutch wasnt the only duo to spawn a singer. Those Duke Boys spawned two. Though the other one was hotter, in my opinion.

[NYTomcat]

Ive been around enough to know!! Thanks Okie I love that. what a perfect song. Boy do you get it. Thanks.

but you need the song . here

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViaxiKxN_u4

 

And if I made the right people "uncomfortable" then my work here is done.

 

Just kidding ZZ, This place wouldn't be the same without you. I like a guy who speaks his mind Thanks for the honesty.

 

Hey NYC I know your just there for the fuck. but this is my mini-crush, you named it and I finally figured it out. I can live with this so its all good. Thanks again.

 

TB I can't thank you enough, enough said.

 

greatness, hey man, Im glad your back

[+ newatthis]

...this is my mini-crush...I finally figured it out. I can live with this...

About 5 years ago, I fell -- very hard -- for a dancer in Montreal. He was 19, beautiful, and adept at those small gestures of affection that I’m a sucker for. He was continually holding hands, caressing me discretely, or giving me little kisses, even when we were out for dinner with friends. And we made an intellectual connection as well. I rushed back to Montreal within the month to see him again -- and discovered he was just another flaky 19-year old. It took me a couple of months and some patient listening by a friend from this MC to get over him.

 

Since then, I've somehow mastered the art of falling in love temporarily. I can let myself go emotionally for a day or a week and suffer no ill effects when it's over. It's as if some small corner of my subconscious is able to hold back. It's also, I think, my learning to live in the moment without evaluating and calculating about what it all means and what might come next.

[Guest DuchessIvanaKizznhugg]

Just a thought....

 

Since then, I've somehow mastered the art of falling in love temporarily. I can let myself go emotionally for a day or a week and suffer no ill effects when it's over.

 

I suspect if you could bottle that or sell it in pill form, you'd be the new Pfizer.

[Guest greatness]

oh my

 

Our Duchess knows how to make money. Shall we fold our magazine and start a pharmaceutical company? Shall we name our company DIKNESS?

 

 

Potential partners sign up here:

 

 

 

 

I suspect if you could bottle that or sell it in pill form, you'd be the new Pfizer.[/color][/font][/size]

[+ newatthis]

Since then, I've somehow mastered the art of falling in love temporarily. I can let myself go emotionally for a day or a week and suffer no ill effects when it's over.

I suspect if you could bottle that or sell it in pill form, you'd be the new Pfizer. And I wish I understood how it happened -- it was almost like getting inoculated against the flu.

[NYTomcat]

And I wish I understood how it happened -- it was almost like getting inoculated against the flu.

Well thanks to the forum and its many members and posts I've managed to find that same sense of reality and yet still enjoy the romantic connection of the moment. I still think the term mini-crush fits best. Thanks again to all you guys. Your support on that newbie post kept this scared rabbit (as Bart put it) from bolting.

[happyguy2]

Over the years, I have had several experiences very much like newatthis had in Montreal. Montreal and Miami are two places where it usually happened to me. Great post!

[Guest LeoWalker]

NYTomcat, you've struck me as a very honest and forward individual. I'm sure the object of your mini-crush is well deserved and rewarding for you both. Don't be too fishy, but definitely enjoy the ride while it lasts.

[NYTomcat]

NYTomcat, you've struck me as a very honest and forward individual. I'm sure the object of your mini-crush is well deserved and rewarding for you both. Don't be too fishy, but definitely enjoy the ride while it lasts.

 

Well now you see there is the rub for this pisces, I've been developing more than one mini-crush on this forum and they are all on Leo's. In fact all four of you share the same damn two birthdays and they are only a day apart. now if that doesn't prove there is something to astrology to me nothing will. Guess I just love my lions.

 

Wait there is one scorpio in there too. hmm variety is the spice of life. LOL

[Guest LeoWalker]

Well now you see there is the rub for this pisces, I've been developing more than one mini-crush on this forum and they are all on Leo's. In fact all four of you share the same damn two birthdays and they are only a day apart. now if that doesn't prove there is something to astrology to me nothing will. Guess I just love my lions.

 

Wait there is one scorpio in there too. hmm variety is the spice of life. LOL

 

You know...I've been assuming that certain persons share my birthday...which explains a lot. I'd love to know the Scorpio's birthday. If I haven't suggested this book yet, check it out: Gary Goldschneider's Everyday Astrology.

 

I'm sure you'll find this story about that book entertaining: I had just picked up the book but hadn't been able to read through it yet. So I started reading it with one of my clients on the Leo section...dating/wooing a Leo. I had no clue what it was going to say but was really humored that it kept saying, basically, "Don't be cheap, don't be cheap, don't be cheap." Maybe it's just me, but I find some serious irony there.

[+ Gar1eth]

I probably shouldn't say anything but...

 

So my mind has been wandering all day as I drove around a lot on business. All the while, as you all know by now, I was listening to music – my passion. In this case the Wicked Soundtrack as I have planned a great birthday for myself and my 3rd trip to Wicked is included in that package. This time with some very special people who really know me, some from this very forum. Anyway I digress.

 

What I could not get out of my head have been all the posts about the client/escort relationship. I know many here just hire for the sexual experience but for those that truly seek what we generally refer to as the BF experience (whatever that means) What are we seeking? Do we fall in love with escorts? If so, why, when we know the folly? Do we seek companionship? Connection? Just someone to share our lives with that we seem we cannot share with anyone else. Perhaps it is sad, as Zipperzone noted, that for many of us the people in our lives don’t know us like our escorts do. ( A note of Thank you Bart & Okie and I’m sure others, for your posts that have so honestly shared that I don’t seek these things alone)

 

Words have power and meaning for me so trying to define the relationship is very important to me. I know I seek the feeling of a friendship and while I am the realist and do not see a long lasting love arising from the escort client relationship, there is something more, something beyond a friend. (The old Friend with benefits but just what is that?) Many have posted on the performance nature of meeting with escorts and that hit on something for me. I can, when we are together, enjoy the fantasy. For that brief moment I can feel the connection that romance provides. Its fleeting and its momentary but so are the most emotional times in our lives. For that brief moment, I am in a whirlwind romance. One that I know will end and a friendship will hopefully remain. But I will carry the memory of that experience with me for the rest of my life. What is life but a collection of these high and low emotional experiences?

 

While words have power-- they can incite wars, mollify angry mobs, romance the object of your desire-- when put to music they come to life and have magic…at least for me. I was truly struck as I sat pondering this as my Wicked soundtrack started a song. I’ve heard and loved this song for years, but it never carried the weight of meaning the way it did with these thoughts on my mind. For me, it characterized exactly that moment I get from being with a special escort, that fleeting moment of romance which while not everlasting is still just as intense and fulfilling. That moment that may never come again but is so special in its short life, I don’t care. With that in mind, I share the song with you and the lyrics below. I have held off posting on this topic deeply to know I had my own feelings in order. This is what I have come up with and given how much you have all influenced my thoughts, I wanted to share them with you. Obviously I suggest listening but I have the lyrics so you can see the words, and the meaning they can carry in this context

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHtet0DYr9w

 

KISS ME TOO FIERCELY

HOLD ME TOO TIGHT

I NEED HELP BELIEVING

YOU'RE WITH ME TONIGHT

MY WILDEST DREAMINGS

COULD NOT FORESEE

LYING BESIDE YOU

WITH YOU WANTING ME

.

 

While I love this song--and the scene from Wicked where it is sung--always hits me somewhere in the solar plexus--but I just can't agree that it accurately depicts the majority of escort/client relations. Or maybe since I shouldn't make broad sweeping generalizations about other people's emotions, I should just say the song probably doesn't portray my reality with escorts.

 

In this song--Elphaba and Fiyero are expressing their love for one another. They are both surprised at that love and the fact that the other person loves them too. They also believe that even though they love each other--there is no future in it for either of them. So they are going to grab this one night and make it their own. Client infatuations with escorts seem to me to be too one sided for this song to be a good representation of the situation. That doesn't mean that I think escorts hate their clients--although I am sure if the escort has regulars that there are some regulars they like better than others. So if there is a vote on which of the 2 songs is more accurate, then I think Okie's song choice is a much truer representation of the situation.

 

Gman

[NYTomcat]

Im glad you did say something and your right as concerns the show itself. The lyrics when put in context to the show don't represent the relationship. But standing alone they work just fine, for me

[Guest OCBeachbody]

I admit I have tried escorts, and even made some friends. I know as a traveler it is kinda uneasy at times being in city in which you have no one to call. And personally there are times you really need a pick me up, someone that yes "you pay" to tell you all those nice things that make you feel better. Someone who will care about you for a couple of hours.

 

Escorts in away are like emergency councilors who can be there to make everything right as rain.... lol... a few nice words ... a great time... an emergency patch to get you through a tough day.

 

As they say there is no harm in a dream... or just pretending for a while.