Looking for advice

[alanalt]

Hey guys, I don't post very often though I'm an avid reader and I appreciate the diversity of opinions that are often expressed and I'm hoping for some that input here as well...

 

I've written a number of reviews (6, I think) and they've all been positive because the encounters I've had with these escorts have all been very positive. However, there's one escort I haven't reviewed because I really don't know what to say.

 

I've had a number of encounters with this guy this spring and they've all been pretty satisfactory except for the last encounter, which was pretty dreadful from my point of view. So I'm torn about how to approach this. First of all, I'm wrestling with the old adage 'that if you can't say something nice about a person, you shouldn't say anything at all' Well, that may be polite but it's probably not useful in a site like this...

 

I want to be fair, but this brings problems. First of all, is the length. To describe the good encounters and then the not-so-good encounter with enough context for the review to make sense, would require many 100s of words that I'm not sure that I want to write (and even less sure that someone would want to read) that. It would also mean revealing more about me and the scenes that I'm into than I'm comfortable with. However, if I just write about the bad encounter, it could be interpreted as a personal attack or an attack on his livelihood, neither of which I want either (just because I'm not going to hire him again doesn't mean that I think he shouldn't be in the business). I also recognize that a certain part of our 'bad' encounter was my fault in that I ignored several 'warning' signs and was thinking of him as a 'friend' as well as an escort ('nuff said on that topic).

 

So here's my dilemna. Anyone who's got thoughts on this, please feel free to share and thank you in advance...

 

Alan (a confused Canadian)

[Guest lipstick]

Dear Canadian,

 

The reason I browse this site is to get some general idea of which guys are suitable for my likings and preferences. This is not only on the big nasty part, but also for rates, versatility, social chemistry, hygiene, etc., for all those things that matter to me.

 

Given that there are lots of guys out there, even on a middle-sized city, it is important for me to get SOME type of info on a guy that I might be interested in. In fact, I now hesitate to get together with anyone WITHOUT some info on him.

 

That said, I tend not to be impressed or turned off by just one or two reviews. I tend to seriously investigate guys who have several reviews to go by, per law of averages or something to that effect.

 

For your situation, I think you can put up an honest and "fair" review if you are also honest to yourself when telling us about the encounter(s). You indicated that some of the negative is related to your treating the guy as a friend, as opposed to an escort. Well, for me to understand the situation, that tidbit of info would be vital to the overall review.

 

The fact that you think it would take a lot of words and thoughts for you to explain the full context indicates to me that you are not ready to write a review on this guy, 'cause you may feel that you need to rationalize YOUR behaivor...?

 

I think most of us can read into most situations. It is probably not necessary to write chapters on what happened, but it IS HELPFUL to us if you could give some indication of what your PURPOSE/OBJECTIVE was in getting together with this guy (or in geting together with escorts in general) and HOW he did not meet your expectations. Note that I didn't say how he FAILED to meet yer expectations.

 

So a lot of a successful encounter depends on what was areed upon in ADVANCE, or if you began fantasizing about something, which he failed to reciprocate, or if resented the situation the long run, whatever. It's complicated, but it may be helpful to ask: what did you want in this? How did you two communicate? What went wrong?

 

I think if you can honestly answer at least these questions for us (and for yourself), you can't help but to write a "fair" review, or at least a review in which we, as readers, can draw our own conclusions.

 

Hope this helps. Believe me, you aren't the only reviewer with this problem/dilemma.

[+ imagooddog]

Hey Lipstick:

 

Nice intelligent response !!!!

:-)

[Guest dstud4hire]

wow, you practically took the words out of my mouth!!

 

If you are not wanting to invest the words by the way, into writing the review, then I would agree with tis post, it sounds to me like you are not ready to write this review yet. The most efective reviews that help 'sell' me to my clients actually are the longer ones..(though don't get me wrong, I have appreciated all reviews, iluding the shorter ones) but the longer reviews have seemd to bring a very clear depiction of what went on, so as to give the potential client a clear idea of what possible roads can be travelled during the course of an hour, two, more, an overnight, etc.

[Guest]

It's difficult to advise you without knowing the specifics of your encounters. What went right and what went wrong? Perhaps you can tell us without revealing the escort involved at this time. In general, I don't think that a single negative review will significantly damage an escort's career, especially when he has six good ones under his belt. Nevertheless, the clients here need to know the bad as well as the good, otherwise this site becomes meaningless advertizing.

[Guest Fin Fang Foom]

>I also recognize that a

>certain part of our 'bad' encounter was my fault in that I

>ignored several 'warning' signs and was thinking of him as a

>'friend' as well as an escort ('nuff said on that topic).

 

To me it sounds like a personal problem and not a specific issue with the guy that would crop up if someone else hired him. Although it might make for interesting reading, it would probably be best if you kept it to yourself.

 

However, if you can post pictures..........

 

Helpfully yours,

 

FFF

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

If you are going to write a review (the life blood of this site) then you should write about your whole experience -- the good dates and the bad one. To focus on the one would be a skewed view of the escort -- unfair to him and to those potential clients looking for a fair assessment. No need to write a book. Probably several of your good ones have much in common. RIchly painted detail is nice but unnecessary for you to convey your expectations and assumptions and his response to each even though some of these varied from date to date.

 

Longer reviews are easier to write than are shorter (relative) reviews with significant information content. With thought, shorter informative reviews can be written. Think it over. :-)

[Rick Munroe]

>(the life blood of this site)

 

Hey, I thought that was me.

[Matt_Vancouver]

I probably shouldn't post on this thread, but I already know the situation Alanalt is referring too, and I think you should post the review.

Let's say you are seeing the same escort for a year, and it's been great everytime you've seen him, you build a level of trust with said escort. Then he milks you for 10 grand... does this mean he's still a good escort, or is he a great con artist?

If you see the potential for a nasty experience that you've had with an escort, occuring for future patrons, yeah a review is in order. If it's an isolated incident then I don't think it's necessary.

In my own experiences, there are some very regular clients, whom I've had fantastic times with, then they happen to book me on an off day(of which there are about 300/year: ) and their experience is not up to par. Does this require a review? Probably not, because chances are that if hired again, the experience would be good again.

But if after seeing me on several occasions, all of a sudden their Rolex is missing... hmmmm

Matt(opening a Rolex retail shop near you: )

Matt(

[alanalt]

Just wanted to say thanks to those who took the time to respond. I appreciate all the comments.

 

For those that care...:-)

 

I am going to write a review, try to be objective (include both the 'good' and the 'bad'), and provide enough context for everyone to make up their own mind. And I'll try not to make it the length of 'War and Peace':7

 

So, thanks again all,

 

Alan

[Guest jthomp3303seattle]

john in Seattle... I've had two bad experiences recently, with two separate escorts, and have not written bad reviews. Why? Part of the reason is they have better reviews than I do, and maybe it was me that caused the problem. The first happened a couple months ago. An escort came up to Seattle and we had a great meeting. So great that I scheduled another session two days later. The second session started out even better. As he was fucking me, he must have pulled out and noticed a speck of "dirt" on his dick. He jumped from the bed and raced to the bathroom to wash off. ( I didn't mention he was riding bareback at his instigation). He then came back to bed and beat himself off in 2 minutes. The session was over. I got up, paid, and left. I didn't cum. I felt I had been discarded. I had prepped well before the meeting, so it wasn't a big deal. If he had been wearing a condom it would have not been a problem. Because I had had such a great first experience, I pursued the matter with the escort, and smoothed all the ruffled feathers. We left it as friends, and I asked that next time he came up to seattle I wanted two sessions. Last week he let me know he would be in town that weekend and could possibly meet on Thursday afternoon or Sun morning at 9 am( not prime times). I e-mailed that I couldn't meet on thur, but would think about Sunday. We e-mailed several times, and he finally told me he would let me know Sun at 8am. I never heard from him then or since. I didn't do anything to deserve this treatment. After reading all of Aarons advice columns, I realize that the problem of "dirt" is common, and should be handled to minimalize embarrasement to the client. As aaron said.. we're all human, and he was fucking a butt. So, I didnt write a bad review, even though the session was horrible, and left me feeling dejected, because I felt partially responsible.He has lots of great reviews.

 

The second bad experience happened shortly later, also from a visiting escort. He physically looked nothing like his reviews said. But, he was a nice guy, so what the hell. I had specified that whatever else, I wanted to be topped. Since the picture in the reviews showed his ass, I was a little concerned that he was a bottom. He assured me that was not the case. We got a room at the baths, and proceeded to have a pretty good time. That is until he lost his erection .He said it was too warm. He never got it back, and never touched me after that. Neither of us came. He said we would have a better time on our next meeting. Next? Did he actually think I would repeat? I let him know that a good time was not had by all.Yet I didn't write a review. Probably because I felt that my being 50 had turned him off. I must be a latent Catholic to have so much guilt. Anyway, I failed to write negative reviews on either of these guys. Both came highly recommended by this site. In addition to these two bad experiences, I had two sessions with escorts from the same city that were fabulous. Both escorts will be major repeats(both reviewed by me on this site).I don't think the other two intentionally tried to ruin the experience. Maybe without that intent, I didn't feel I could hurt someone's ability to earn a living.

[Guest DCeBOY]

who are you?

 

john, are you a client or an escort, or both?

since you're a willing bareback bottom, i need this information.

if you're an escort, i know someone with whom i can never work, with whom i have to make sure no one i work with has worked with, and with whom no client of mine has ever seen. a similar scenario applies if you're a client. PLEASE, who is this careless top escort? i think we all deserve to know who is acting with rampant disregard to his own safety, your safety, and by extension the safety of all of us.

[Guest 7Zach]

RE: who are you?

 

right. it should make no difference cuz u always assume all of the johns are positive. and ur a top only, so what gives?

[Guest DCeBOY]

RE: who are you?

 

my post was mostly rhetorical & was intended to underline the fact that the man was careless & stupid. unless he was raped, he CHOSE to be fucked without a condom. there's no point blaming it on the escort.

that being said, i feel that he should own up & tell us who this guy was. it will enable everyone to make better-informed choices.

 

you don't really intend to imply that tops are immune from STDs, do you? even you are not that stupid. isn't it about time for you to write another bogus review of me? it has been over a year.

[Traveller]

RE: who are you?

 

>right. it should make no difference cuz u always assume all

>of the johns are positive. and ur a top only, so what gives?

 

Exactly. You've always got to proceed as if everyone is positive and play safe accordingly. So what's the problem Ethan.

 

Later.

[Guest DCeBOY]

RE: who are you?

 

2 words: fuck you

[Guest DCeBOY]

RE: who are you?

 

while my "fuck you" comment to traveller is certainly well-deserved, i'd also like to point out that in my post above, i indicated that it would permit every one of us to make better-informed choices if we were to know who the reckless escort is.

perhaps in his stupor, traveller missed that comment.

[Guest jthomp3303seattle]

RE: who are you?

 

john in Seattle: I was not a willing bareback participant, just stupid. The condoms were on the bed, I falsly assumed they were going to be used by the pro. He did not cum,so I've been told it wasn't as risky. I am a client, new at the time. So, all of a sudden I'm the bad guy?

[Traveller]

RE: who are you?

 

>2 words: fuck you

 

Four words: Fish in a barrel.

 

Later.

 

PS. It's so fucking easy.

[duke37]

RE: who are you?

 

So John let me get this straight. (I can be a little slow.) You had condoms. You expected them to be used. You told him to use them. You believed he did. And you found out he fucked you bareback Right?

 

Oh my God!

 

Sorry if I am naive here but I still reeling from the image. And you said the guy was well reviewed?

 

Jeff

[Guest 7Zach]

RE: who are you?

 

Never have written a review about u, but that's not the point of my post. The guy had unprotected sex; ur a sex worker, and have sex with clients u know nothing about. Yet u do it, without any information at all. Just think ur posts were nothing but hyprocritical, and intended only to garner the id of the escort with whom he had unprotected sex.

 

BTW, u said u were leaving again last week in a post where u complained about something that francisxx said about u. Don't disappoint us, I blocked my calendar.

[Guest 7Zach]

RE: who are you?

 

Well-deserved? But i do think the sentence would have read better if you had used the word, "whilst".

[Guest 7Zach]

RE: who are you?

 

I didn't read anything that said he told the escort to use them.