Why do we accept it?

[raulgmanzo]

That was a wonderful story to relate... Bringing problems out in the open is frequently the best solution.

 

Well it had been out in the open (in our family anyway). But any discussion was always judgmental, and accusatory devolving instantly into emotional yelling.

 

Instead of telling an addict to quit for the nth time, it might be good to have some healthful advice that demonstrates caring and understanding without demands which often result in disagreement and anger, and isolation.

 

Imagine instead of meth the abuser is taking up bizarre harsh physical training. You've given up trying (for the moment) to convince him to stop the dangerous thing, imagine it's chewing chocolate covered ball bearings downed with gallons of coffee or whatever. Like meth users he is at risk of not eating right, losing his teeth, and difficulty sleeping. So ignore the meth for a moment and ask about his diet, offering suggestions for sleeping, and helping him get dental care, etc. If I had a meth addicted son I might also refuse to bail him out or help / enable in many ways. But I would do what I could to take care of his teeth. If a meth user has bad teeth it may hurt to eat. He may now be even more drawn to meth's extreme appetite suppressing qualities etc.

[BewareofNick]

Well it had been out in the open (in our family anyway). But any discussion was always judgmental, and accusatory devolving instantly into emotional yelling.

 

Instead of telling an addict to quit for the nth time, it might be good to have some healthful advice that demonstrates caring and understanding without demands which often result in disagreement and anger, and isolation.

 

Imagine instead of meth the abuser is taking up bizarre harsh physical training. You've given up trying (for the moment) to convince him to stop the dangerous thing, imagine it's chewing chocolate covered ball bearings downed with gallons of coffee or whatever. Like meth users he is at risk of not eating right, losing his teeth, and difficulty sleeping. So ignore the meth for a moment and ask about his diet, offering suggestions for sleeping, and helping him get dental care, etc. If I had a meth addicted son I might also refuse to bail him out or help / enable in many ways. But I would do what I could to take care of his teeth. If a meth user has bad teeth it may hurt to eat. He may now be even more drawn to meth's extreme appetite suppressing qualities etc.

 

He went to the dentist last week. Teeth are actually in pretty good shape all things considered. He will have to have one removed because of his meth use.

 

Believe me, I know that telling him to stop or being judgmental will accomplish nothing. I casually told him I knew about him and his friend Patrick. He was kind of dumbfounded. He asked how long had I known and I replied since the first time you guys hung out. That's what happens when you leave a broken pipe and a motel receipt on the top of the trash lol.

[Guest zipperzone]

I guess I'm just plain lucky. I know I don't have the will power to quit an addictive habit so it has to be just luck that I was never tempted (or curious enough) to indulge. I am a social drinker - probably wouldn't average more than 2 drinks a week - have never smoked cigarettes or anything else. Have never done drugs, not even once.

 

My father was an alcoholic. Managed to live till age 80, God only know what his liver was like by then. I was estranged from him for the last 15 years of his life - only saw him once when I happened to bump into him on the street. I watched him ruin my mother's life until she died of cancer at 58 and I think he is the only person I have ever truly hated.

 

Perhaps my luck of not being addicted to anything stems from my revulsion of watching him ruin our family. For that, perhaps I should thank him.