Nightline Part #1

[Will]

Last night I taped the first installment of Nightline's A MATTER OF CHOICE? and was blown away. Right from the start, it is clear where Ted Koppel stands on this issue. The purpose of the series is not so much to discuss whether or not it's OK to be gay, but to reveal the ways in which actual gay men and lesbians live in America. For the first episode he couldn't have done better than to choose the tackiest, least-threatening venue imaginable: a white (so far as I could tell), middle-class retirement community in Bradenton, FL. The difference is that The Palms of Manato, or whatever it's called, is the first all-gay retirement community. (Frankly, it looks really nice, and although I don't want to retire to Florida, I would eagerly retire to a similar community situated in a more interesting part of the country.)

 

Most of the half-hour segment focussed on two couples, one of men, the other of women, who are Middle America in every sense of the word. For those of us who no longer qualify as "chickens," it was heartening to see that a huge age gap separates the men. By my calculations, the older guy was in his late sixties when they met, and they've been together more than ten years.

 

I eagerly await tonight's episode. A MATTER OF CHOICE? is going to be "required viewing" for all of my friends, straight and gay.

[+ Axiom2001]

I forced myself to stay awake and watch this program. As far as what you wrote-- I could NOT agree with you more. I, too, can't wait to see the remainder of the programs, and I sincerely appreciate being alerted about this series by one of our own correspondents/respondents.

 

I am ambivalent about retiring in Florida. Before last night's show, I have visited the website of the retirement community featured and have received information on paper, but before committing myself-- I'll have to visit the place first. I don't LIKE Florida's politics in any way, and the state is just too flat for me. ...liked the Keys though, but do not think I could take that drive from Miami to Key West very often. Sorry to have digressed slightly...

[Guest elwood]

Will,I agree with you about the surprising quality of this Nightline offering.I just hope the entire series of programs is as good.There is really NOTHING on television regarding gay life that is at all on target( especially those pukey sit coms) and I believe that it is because homosexuality is NOT in fact some easily understood and described demographic phenomena. Lets admit this...there is no true homosexual community out there.The field is incredibly diverse..nazis..conservatives..liberals.saints..sinners..monsters..intellectuals..rednecks.Sexual orientation does not make a community whether it be hetero or homo.One of the great things about the message board is the obvious wide varitey of people who participate and hopefully we are seeking some better understanding of ourselves but most just s quick thrill or titilation (thats ok too).Actually, it is the understanding that sexual orientation is totally a matter of the luck of the draw..a combination of genetic,intra-uterine and social cultural exposure that is truly liberating. It is not immoral or un-natural.Young kids who are gay should not have to loathe themselves or live in fear or live up to those stupid and shallow television role models.Older gays should be able to seek community in dignity.

[HooBoy]

RE: Nightline Part #2

 

Will,

 

I am mesmerized.

 

I really look forward to your take....

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Nightline

 

>Actually, it is the understanding that sexual

>orientation is totally a matter of the luck of the draw..a

>combination of genetic,intra-uterine and social cultural

>exposure that is truly liberating. It is not immoral or

>un-natural.

 

Unfortunately, as with many other aspects of modern life, there are those who will believe what they do irrespective of what is presented on Nightline or elsewhere, but the climate certainly has become far more open and progressive with the passing year; I doubt his administration genuinely is or will be confused as being in favor of gay dignity and acceptance, based on the statements by Mr. Bush and his staff, but the appointment by him of an openly gay man to the AIDS office and the quiet acceptance of a career diplomat and his partner to a foreign position was unanticipated and unexpected, in particular given the decline and fall of Western Culture and Civilization which befall this country because James Hormel was appointed as an ambassador.

 

>Young kids who are gay should not have to loathe

>themselves or live in fear or live up to those stupid and

>shallow television role models.

 

The personal acceptance that will come is one of the great things that has happened in the last fifteen or so years. From television show, no matter how shallow or stupid, to the appearance of Ann Landers and Dear Abby, both of whom used to frequently guest with Johnny Carson and who are read by far more people who would ever trust Ted Koppel.

 

 

As an additional aside, I believe there were plans for a retirement community in Las Vegas and, at one point, in Southern California. I do not recall any outcome.

[Will]

RE: And now for Part #3

 

I'm puzzled and, I admit, disappointed. I had thought that Ted Koppel's NIGHTLINE series would stimulate a great deal of conversation on this board, if all the kerfluffle over QUEER AS FOLK was any indication of the level of interest in such things. But it hasn't, despite the fact that I can't remember a piece of broadcast journalism that has been so unwavering in its obvious determination to let the homophobes devastate themselves with their own craziness.

 

Last night's segment, for example, gave equal time to a lesbian couple with a baby, and a "straight" (see below) couple with three teenage children. The married couple said how careful they had been when their children were young -- "especially the boys" -- to keep them away from "gays." Why?, Ted Koppel wanted to know. "Well," Dad said, "When I was young I got a little bit involved -- not a lot, just a little bit -- in the neighborhood games of 'playing doctor.' I could tell even then that I was pulled just as much in one direction as the other, just as much towards one sex as the other." "Are you saying" -- at this point even Ted the Inscrutable could not suppress at least the merest hint of a smile -- "that, under the right circumstances, you yourself might have been gay today?" "Oh, yes," the earnest kristchun replied. At that, we cut from a close-up of Dad in his living room to a long shot of Dad playing the piano. Ted Koppel's voice-over tells us that he is a retired concert pianist who is now the organist at Roanoke's First Baptist Church.

 

Well, maybe he is straight. There must be at least five straight male organists in the country. But I already know two of them.

 

Am I the only person out here who thinks this stuff is absolutely central to what keeps this site alive?

[Guest elwood]

Will, you are so right about this series. It's the only recent thing (other than a very hot escort) that could keep me up that late.

[HooBoy]

RE: And now for Part #3

 

>>>Am I the only person out here who thinks this stuff is absolutely central to what keeps this site alive? <<<

 

Will, I thought this would be a central discussion here - it is so important in our lives and I am disappointed by the malaise.

 

For Ted Koppel to delve into so deeply (and I think fairly into this issue), any gay person not watching it is missing out.

 

In episode number 3 I was fortunate to have my Mother on the phone with me. I MADE her watch it and even though she has known for years that I was gay, it is something she never likes to talk about or accepts.

 

Miles apart, we watched the show almost in silence. I would interject comments from time to time like, "isn't that so sad," or "how horrible".

 

But at the end of the show, she and I had a really good conversation where we actually acknowledged my sexuality not as something offensive, but as the way it is. We were able to talk about mutual friends who may be gay. My Mother was offended that her best friend of a zillion years would not admit to her that her only daughter was gay. I rather doubt Mom shared with her pal that her only son was gay also.

 

Mom would prefer if I had a girlfriend, something she always touts, and had children, but I am lucky because I have a Mother who loves me unconditionally.

 

Ted Koppel did our family a great service because he allowed us to talk about the thing that we all knew, but never discussed.

 

I am looking forward to Episode #4 and I hope my Mom will be on the phone with me. It's so fun to watch TV with people you love.

[Will]

RE: And now for Part #3

 

Thanks, Hoo, for that beautiful post. It touches me and even makes me a little envious. My mother died when I was 23 years old and so confused about everything that she worried until her last breath about how I would do once she was gone. (A friend of hers told me this.) My father is one of those men who are supremely polite, courteous in a very old-fashioned way, not at all judgmental, BUT: he doesn't want to know anything that might make him feel uncomfortable. My brother is the same way; but I am fortunate to be able to be out to my sister. She is the only member of my family who can bear to know the full truth about me.

 

Because my mother was born and reared in Roanoke, VA, and because we spent every summer of my childhood there, I thought it was familiar to me. It isn't. The Roanoke I know is not the one Ted Koppel is showing, because he's concentrating on blue-collar, uneducated, and mostly fundamentalist or evangelical protestants. My family was white-collar, educated, and Episcopalian. While they probably had all the prejudices you're seeing on NIGHTLINE, they would never, ever, have said so. Not, at least, to one's face. What they said behind one's back is another thing. One hot summer night when I was about 14, I heard their voices drifting up into my room, where they assumed I was asleep. Over the clink of ice in bourbon glasses, my mother's sister and brother -- who competed with each other as Asshole of the Century -- discussed me, my mannerisms, my sexuality (I didn't know what that was), and, in general, how repugnant it all made me, particularly by comparison with my younger brother, who was a holy terror and therefore "all boy." That was in Roanoke, Virginia, in August of 1954, and you can now understand why I'm so grateful to Ted Koppel.

[Will]

Even Ted Koppel can't keep me up! I'm taping it. Also for archival purposes.

[ManHoleNC]

I grew up in Roanoke and have been watching this series enthusiastically. Ted is doing a great job keeping it balanced. The valley is a beautiful place and I am sure he didn't have to look too hard to find someone like the Mussleman's to serve as the voice of the ignorant, hateful and self righteous. I grew up Baptist and avoided the fundamentalism and narrow mindedness that permeates First Baptist in Roanoke. I do know of plenty of gay people that attend the church and are very active.....THEY ARE AMONG YOU! But they are tucked away in the closet.

 

The minute I saw Mr and Ms. Mussleman, I said to a straight friend...he is gay. My experience has been that people who are that loathing of gay people have turned out to be gay themselves. She had that fundamentalist glaze over her crossed eyes and I just wonder what they would do if one of their son's actually turns out to be gay...or a grandson.

 

There are a number of "active" bookstores in Roanoke. I thought I recognized Mussleman. By the time I retrieved a piece of cardboard..cut a hole in it and placed it up against the TV screen to see if it looked like him peering through a glory hole, the show was over.

[Guest ButchHarris]

Date: Thu, 23 May 2002 11:50:15 -0700

 

Subject: NIGHTLINE: A Matter of Choice? Growing Up Gay in the Bible Belt

 

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TONIGHT'S SUBJECT: All of us go through a period of great change in our

lives just about the time we turn twelve. For some it can be a difficult

period during which we discover acne, braces and raging hormones. Just

then middle school parents and school teachers actually expect kids to

begin showing signs of youthful crushes: hand holding in the halls,

note-passing in the classroom and talk about “that special guy or girl.”

 

----

 

Knowing how unforgiving kids can be, imagine going through this period and

discovering that you don’t have an attraction to the opposite sex, and

instead you are much more attracted to kids of the same sex. When many

teenagers find themselves in this situation they often consider themselves

alone. With few role models they sometimes think that they are the only

ones ever to have had these feelings. As they come to terms with who they

are, they then discover there are few places to turn. This isolation

leads to a higher incidence of alcohol and drug abuse, and a much higher

rate of suicide compared to other teenagers.

 

Add to this already complicated mix the experience of growing up in the

Bible belt town of Roanoke, Virginia, as the five teenagers in tonight’s

broadcast did. Three of the kids we profile were thrown out of their homes

after coming out to their parents. We begin tonight’s broadcast with a

profile of Rhonda Chattin, the owner of OutWord — Roanoke’s gay and

lesbian bookstore. She is also the coordinator of OutRight, a local

support group for gay and lesbian teenagers, providing the support she

wanted when she was growing up.

 

Please join us for the fourth broadcast in our series: A Matter of Choice?

 

Thursday, May 23, 2002

 

James Blue

Producer

Nightline Workspace

Roanoke, VA

 

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[Will]

Thanks for the links, Butch. I've just sent in a thank-you to Nightline.