Remorse over rejecting clients

[devonhunter]

Okay, so... There's one particular site I'm on that I've been considering not using anymore. If I'm going to get time wasters, mean people, or shady requests... it's always from this site. And yet not being on it will reduce visibility, so (although it's completely unsatisfactory in its track record thus far) I will keep it, begrudgingly.

 

I just got (another) mean caller. I got an urgent email to contact him "ASAP!" But when I contacted him only 20 minutes later he said, "What was your screen name?" Mmmmhm. He then, in a rambling way, tried to kinda tell me what he might be interested in. When I finally ascertained that I could accomodate him I asked how long he wanted and asked for an address. "Oh, I'm about 40 miles from you, and I want only a half hour. You'll have to call me when you're on your way. I'm in a truck at a rest stop." This entire scenario is problematic for me on multiple levels.

 

"So, this is happening in a public place?" I asked in as neutral a tone as possible.

"Uh... duh. Yes!"

"I'm sorry, I am not going to be able to help you, but if you want..."

"Don't fucking worry about it! I won't lose a minute of sleep over it!!"

 

*Click.

 

Ok. Why do I feel rotten? I don't know that I did anything wrong here, yet for some reason I'm internalizing his sense of being rejected, and it's turning into guilt.

 

How do you guys handle it when you feel compelled to turn someone away and they then get angry/hurt/beligerent about it?

[jasoncarter_dfw]

Sounds like my experiences with adam4adam...for example:

 

"Ur hot buddy but I will never pay u one cent, sorry!!! Hooker"

 

"LOL dude people like you I have no respect for and been with way hotter guys" (this was him contacting me initially)

 

You weren't comfortable with the scene and told him politely...I don't think you have anything to worry about.

 

 

Okay, so... There's one particular site I'm on that I've been considering not using anymore. If I'm going to get time wasters, mean people, or shady requests... it's always from this site. And yet not being on it will reduce visibility, so (although it's completely unsatisfactory in its track record thus far) I will keep it, begrudgingly.

 

I just got (another) mean caller. I got an urgent email to contact him "ASAP!" But when I contacted him only 20 minutes later he said, "What was your screen name?" Mmmmhm. He then, in a rambling way, tried to kinda tell me what he might be interested in. When I finally ascertained that I could accomodate him I asked how long he wanted and asked for an address. "Oh, I'm about 40 miles from you, and I want only a half hour. You'll have to call me when you're on your way. I'm in a truck at a rest stop." This entire scenario is problematic for me on multiple levels.

 

"So, this is happening in a public place?" I asked in as neutral a tone as possible.

"Uh... duh. Yes!"

"I'm sorry, I am not going to be able to help you, but if you want..."

"Don't fucking worry about it! I won't lose a minute of sleep over it!!"

 

*Click.

 

Ok. Why do I feel rotten? I don't know that I did anything wrong here, yet for some reason I'm internalizing his sense of being rejected, and it's turning into guilt.

 

How do you guys handle it when you feel compelled to turn someone away and they then get angry/hurt/beligerent about it?

[Sean Knight]

Okay, so... There's one particular site I'm on that I've been considering not using anymore. If I'm going to get time wasters, mean people, or shady requests... it's always from this site. And yet not being on it will reduce visibility, so (although it's completely unsatisfactory in its track record thus far) I will keep it, begrudgingly.

 

I just got (another) mean caller. I got an urgent email to contact him "ASAP!" But when I contacted him only 20 minutes later he said, "What was your screen name?" Mmmmhm. He then, in a rambling way, tried to kinda tell me what he might be interested in. When I finally ascertained that I could accomodate him I asked how long he wanted and asked for an address. "Oh, I'm about 40 miles from you, and I want only a half hour. You'll have to call me when you're on your way. I'm in a truck at a rest stop." This entire scenario is problematic for me on multiple levels.

 

"So, this is happening in a public place?" I asked in as neutral a tone as possible.

"Uh... duh. Yes!"

"I'm sorry, I am not going to be able to help you, but if you want..."

"Don't fucking worry about it! I won't lose a minute of sleep over it!!"

 

*Click.

 

Ok. Why do I feel rotten? I don't know that I did anything wrong here, yet for some reason I'm internalizing his sense of being rejected, and it's turning into guilt.

 

How do you guys handle it when you feel compelled to turn someone away and they then get angry/hurt/beligerent about it?

It sounds to me like you did everything right. You would have been uncomfortable with the scene this client was requesting. It would have been a disservice to both by agreeing to a session that would have not allowed both of you to be comfortable. Doing everything right doesn't guarantee the most favorable outcome for both sides. For your situation it did work out in your favor. You probably saved yourself some anxiety and drama. The best thing that happened to you in that whole conversation was *Click!

 

The guilt you most likely feel is due to your desire to be accommodating and your compassion for people.

 

The issue here is the client didn't allow you the opportunity to explain why you wouldn't be compatible with the circumstances of the meeting. You also had no opportunity to offer any other options. By the sounds of the call and his request, he was impatient and had something very specific in mind. I'm certain very few professional escorts would have accommodated his request given the same scenario.

 

There have been times when certain requests for a session weren't in line with my comfort level. I am always honest and upfront. I try to be open to suggestion and get a better understanding of what they want if it isn't clear. I've ended up having great times even when there was a compromise on both sides. It varies but with enough understanding and sincerity it can work out.

 

When I've had to decline a request I try to be very sensitive to that fact that it is rejection. No one likes to be rejected. Yet, escorts deal with "rejection" all the time when we never receive responses back and when clients no-show or cancel (for other than legitimate reasons.) It is the one of the many costs of doing business.

I try to be very clear that it's in both of our best interests to not have the meeting because I wouldn't be providing the experience they were looking for.

 

Most handle it with maturity but there have been a few that were insulted. Some have even become quite offensive and retaliated. I just take that as a sign that I made the right decision.

 

Stick to your guns! You did the right thing.

[devonhunter]

thank you both... jason, i'm sorry people have said that to you. and thanks sean for clarifying.

[Scorpio]

From a client's perspective you did everything right and no reason to feel remorseful.

 

BTW, Jason you are HOT and don't let anyone tell you differently.

[devonhunter]

i wanna see jason's hotness! where does one find such links that serve as proof to this assertion???

[Scorpio]

i wanna see jason's hotness! where does one find such links that serve as proof to this assertion???

 

http://www.rentboy.com/listing.aspx?lid=58617&scid=29548399&sp=1&pos=19

[rvwnsd]

Another client's perspective

 

"...Ok. Why do I feel rotten? I don't know that I did anything wrong here, yet for some reason I'm internalizing his sense of being rejected, and it's turning into guilt..."

 

I'm wondering if you feel bad because your telephone number is public, someone called you and asked for something that could be potentially dangerous. Perhaps you are feeling vulnerable and scared rather than guilty.

 

PS: I think you handled the situation appropriately. Sounds like the guy was either pulling a prank, a nut job, or a cop.

[Guest RianB]

Okay, so... There's one particular site I'm on that I've been considering not using anymore. If I'm going to get time wasters, mean people, or shady requests... it's always from this site. And yet not being on it will reduce visibility, so (although it's completely unsatisfactory in its track record thus far) I will keep it, begrudgingly.

 

I just got (another) mean caller. I got an urgent email to contact him "ASAP!" But when I contacted him only 20 minutes later he said, "What was your screen name?" Mmmmhm. He then, in a rambling way, tried to kinda tell me what he might be interested in. When I finally ascertained that I could accomodate him I asked how long he wanted and asked for an address. "Oh, I'm about 40 miles from you, and I want only a half hour. You'll have to call me when you're on your way. I'm in a truck at a rest stop." This entire scenario is problematic for me on multiple levels.

 

"So, this is happening in a public place?" I asked in as neutral a tone as possible.

"Uh... duh. Yes!"

"I'm sorry, I am not going to be able to help you, but if you want..."

"Don't fucking worry about it! I won't lose a minute of sleep over it!!"

 

*Click.

 

Ok. Why do I feel rotten? I don't know that I did anything wrong here, yet for some reason I'm internalizing his sense of being rejected, and it's turning into guilt.

 

How do you guys handle it when you feel compelled to turn someone away and they then get angry/hurt/beligerent about it?

 

You feel rotten cause you are rotten Devon. Stop complaing, suck it up and dont bitch. Isnt that what you told me? Sounds like the guy who called you was pretty cracked out too...you know damn well you fucked a trucker LOL. What rest stop was it ho? I know SC have alot of them LOL. Dont feel bad, you did what you had to do

[devonhunter]

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

[Guest zipperzone]

Perhaps Daddy should close this one too - it's heading in the same direction......

[Guy Fawkes]

Perhaps Daddy should close this one too - it's heading in the same direction......

 

Humm.... I know what you mean... I'm starting to think a "24 hour time out" is in order... Only one of them deserves it... But to be fair I'd have give it to both of them....

 

But who knows, perhaps both will leave it alone before the ruler starts hitting the hands.

[seaboy4hire]

Humm.... I know what you mean... I'm starting to think a "24 hour time out" is in order... Only one of them deserves it... But to be fair I'd have give it to both of them....

 

But who knows, perhaps both will leave it alone before the ruler starts hitting the hands.

 

I like it when the ruler hits my bum leaving it nice and red like a shiny apple. I've heard Daddy is one of the best at administers of such punishment. But back on topic. I can't imagine why you'd feel guilty about turning the guy down if what he was proposing wasn't your thing. If you were polite about turning him down then there shouldn't be no worries. We've all had to turn down someone cause what they were proposing wasn't our cup of tea. And then there are some that propose something that is so far out there in what could be a really fun and learning experience. Oh yeah, as for the fucking truckers comment if you find the right one they can be quite fun and nasty. I should know

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ Oliver]

HuH?

 

Perhaps Daddy should close this one too - it's heading in the same direction......

 

Zip & Daddy - I don't understand. Same direction as what?

[+ sf westcoaster]

Oliver, Take a look at the locked thread.

[+ Lucky]

Oliver, there is another thread wherein Rian and Devon went at it with each other. Apparently they don't care for one another. The owner of the website was at first going to paint his fingernails red, but instead chose to lock the thread.

[+ Oliver]

Ooops

 

Oliver, there is another thread wherein Rian and Devon went at it with each other. Apparently they don't care for one another. The owner of the website was at first going to paint his fingernails red, but instead chose to lock the thread.

 

Ahhh so! So I discovered after reading this one. :o Thank you, sfw & Lucky.

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

And. . .

 

He didn't want an Escort he wanted TruckStop Trash. Any Tranny Any Fanny would do.

And you are worrying about this why?

 

"So, this is happening in a public place?" I asked in as neutral a tone as possible.

"Uh... duh. Yes!"

"I'm sorry, I am not going to be able to help you, but if you want..."

"Don't fucking worry about it! I won't lose a minute of sleep over it!!"

 

*Click.

[Kevin Slater]

He didn't want an Escort he wanted TruckStop Trash. Any Tranny Any Fanny would do.

 

Sounds like a bad JT LeRoy novel.

 

Kevin Slater

[Lookin]

You may just be going through a bad case of l'esprit d'escalier and thinking of what you should have said when he inquired about a half-hour of your time at a truck stop forty miles away. Like:

 

Sorry, I don't do rest stops.

 

Would you like a massage after?

 

Will we be in a King Cab, or on the floor of your pickup?

 

Darn! I'm afraid my shots aren't up to date.

 

Normally there's a forty minute minimum on weekends.

 

Let me check the bus schedule and get right back to you.

 

My car's in the shop. Could you pick me up?

 

Be sure and leave your running lights on.

 

Is Tina with you?

 

My roommate wants to know if she can come too.

 

Good gosh! You're my third trucker this week!

 

Watch out for cops. There's a big sting going on there tonight. It's on TV!

 

 

Others?

[JT Brooklyn]

Remorse No Reason

 

I'm sure there are more Clients than Working Guys, But in a place like NYC "Moving On No Remorse" is really no problem for either.

 

The Client has his $$ and will just spend it somewhere else.

[Guest RianB]

I'm sure there are more Clients than Working Guys, But in a place like NYC "Moving On No Remorse" is really no problem for either.

 

The Client has his $$ and will just spend it somewhere else.

 

I can only imagine...Its almost hard to fathom the amount that exist in New York. I can miss a client there, and we'd run into each other eventually in Miami