my worst nightmare

[Michael Vincenzo]

Lessons to learn

 

What can we learn from this situation:

 

 

• If you're a massage therapist, follow the rules of your jurisdiction
  
• If you're an escort, pay taxes; the misdemeanor part will be nothing compared to a violation of federal laws
  
• Have an emergency fund! (doesn't anyone watch Suze Orman?!)
  
• Confide in someone locally to help out in the event of an arrest (this is especially important if you have a companion animal at home)
  

As a suggestion, JosephGa, I would recommend asking your close clients or friends for a loan and not a donation. You'll be back on your feet in no time and when you pay them back, you show character and integrity. I'm trying not to be presumptuous, but are you going to follow the rules (if you are just a massage therapist, that is) wherever you live next? A dose of consequences goes a long way in regard to actions and future actions. I can clearly remember my best friend giving me doses of tough love through the years and, although it sucked in the moment, it made a difference in choices that I've made since then.

 

I hope you don't think I'm busting your balls, but rather helping you think a little more clearly right now. My advice is given not to tell you what to do or even what is best for you, but maybe give you an option you haven't thought of during this "blip on the radar". Best wishes!

[KMEM]

I think you are busting his balls but then he did a lot of things that aren't very smart, so go ahead and fry him.

 

Best regards,

KMEM

[beetwo]

My advice is to get a local attorney(free or otherwise) and contact the local procecutor. Tell him you are closing the business and relocating out of thier jurisdiction. These code violations sound like fix-it tickets and the fines might not be to bad. Espescially if your lawyer make the case that you are leaving town with your business.

[Guest RianB]

Rian B,

 

Over the last few months I have watched you say the rudest, most insensitive comments to all sorts of people on all sorts of topics. But now... now! NOW! YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR!! You have just advised someone to run away from the law, and to not handle the charges that have been brought against him.

 

On behalf of everyone who has been thinking it: I am now formally going to stop rolling my eyes, and tell you to SHUT THE HELL UP!

 

If you want to continue blathering about non sequitors that don't harm anyone, that's fine; however, you have just given someone advice that could land him in jail. You really ought to think MORE and talk LESS.

 

Merry Christmas.

 

Devon

 

See normally I dont get on here around now, but an email about an 'attack' prompted me to take my lunch hour to respond to this.

 

First off...the reason why I said about leaving town is because of a previous thread about Atlanta needing a license even to escort, and I can only imagine how much strict it is for anything else related to that. He can still attend his court dates and live in another area. I've lived with people who had records and could not leave the state, but could be in another city in the same state. I dont know exactly how it is with Joseph, but I also suggested he change his website/name/number and move to another part of town if moving further isnt an option, which isnt. And he just said he could leave the apartment next month.

 

And as far as the comments I've made to be rude and insensitive, well maybe you're just too sensitive and none were directed to you anyway. I dont sit around and be plastic and agree with everyone on here whether they are a lurker, client, escort; whoever. This is a forum, to share ideas and opinions. You dont have to like what I say but I say it regardless because we all have opinions, thoughts, etc. I don't take everyone's advice on a forum cause some is wrong, others is right. I havent had issues with anyone on here, and if you dont like what I say, or anyone else...you can speak up. But you say you've held your tounge and now want to lash out?

 

You ought not to come on here and attempt to embarrass me, which I feel you have done. What goes around, comes around and bites you in the ass...Revenge is sweet but no one likes to taste it. And its pretty fucked up that I've contributed to alot of your threads (including your inquiry about high-end escorting) and agreed with the majority of the things you've posted, only to get a post like this from you...You dont own this site, you're not even a moderator...you dont have any place to tell me to shutup even if you did think my advice was wrong.

[josephga]

the way it works here in duluth when you go in. a lady asks if you want to plead guilty or not guilty. if you say guilty she tells you your fines right then with the option to pay them. or you can ask to speak to the local prosecutor b4 the judge comes in to hear the cases. right now I plan on pleading guilty and talking with the local prosecutor. letting him know im leaving the city and county. The leasing manager at my complex is going to write a letter in my behalf. letting the local prosecutor know that I came to them today with what happened and that I had been here almost 7 years with no problems.

[Rick Munroe]

What goes around, comes around and bites you in the ass...Revenge is sweet but no one likes to taste it.

 

Also, a penny saved is a penny earned but a stitch in time saves nine.

[alanalt]

Michael, I realize you're trying to be helpful, but some of your comments do come across as patronizing at best and decidedly unhelpful at worst. For instance:

Have an emergency fund! (doesn't anyone watch Suze Orman?!)

 

Give me a break!! How likely is it that someone who's a renter with $17K in Credit Card debt is going to be able to put aside more than $1500 or so aside for emergencies??? You have no idea what his personal/financial circumstances have been like for the the past few years to make observations like that. At least he hasn't been lending money worth several times their annual income to people with no collateral to secure their loans. And that's too bad, because he' probably qualify for assistance from the government if he had!

 

Right now the guy needs some support, not a lecture! At least let him pick himself up and get some perspective before you start reciting the 'lessons' we can learn from 'mistakes'.

 

Sheesh!

Alan

[josephga]

the 17.000 came from medical bills from having cancer. I tried too keep a low profile and only take enough clients to survive on. I was never late with a payment, had the card for 10 years went too the doctor and they jacked my interest from 6.9 % too 16.9 % i was having too send in 409.00 a month some months id send in 700.00. but never could catch up.

[Michael Vincenzo]

Michael, I realize you're trying to be helpful, but some of your comments do come across as patronizing at best and decidedly unhelpful at worst. For instance:

 

 

Give me a break!! How likely is it that someone who's a renter with $17K in Credit Card debt is going to be able to put aside more than $1500 or so aside for emergencies??? You have no idea what his personal/financial circumstances have been like for the the past few years to make observations like that. At least he hasn't been lending money worth several times their annual income to people with no collateral to secure their loans. And that's too bad, because he' probably qualify for assistance from the government if he had!

 

Right now the guy needs some support, not a lecture! At least let him pick himself up and get some perspective before you start reciting the 'lessons' we can learn from 'mistakes'.

 

Sheesh!

Alan

 

The first part of what I wrote was not addressed to JosephGa directly, but more as general advice which has worked for me along the way. I did not mean it as a rule or even as a standard. To say that my suggestions are unhelpful would be a misinterpretation of my intentions. It is not in me to be patronizing or unhelpful.

 

Although this post may have been started by JosephGa, it is open for public dialogue. I considered it an opportune time, since so many people were viewing the thread, to input something productive that may save someone's ass in the future. My choice is not to marinate in the problem, but rather be more solution oriented.

 

I'm not sure why you have such distaste for my personal input that I always try to keep on a positive note, but there is no need to be so abrasive.

[BewareofNick]

joseph, shoot me an e-mail at bewareofnick@yahoo.com

 

I know someone who operates his business very similarly to yours and may be able to share some insight with you. I'd also be happy to take you out to lunch too.

 

Neal

[alanalt]

You say tomayto and I hear tomahto...

 

Michael,

 

Well, from my perspective, it's your comments that are abrasive - maybe we can call it a 'cat vs dog' thing and leave it at that (though I like your work on-screen).

 

But I do think the overwhelming majority of posts here here have been to do with Joseph's specific situation (or responses arising from said posts ). I also think that if you wanted to move from the specific to the general you could have both waited a tad longer and started a new thread...

 

Alan

 

PS - And if you think I'm abrasive, you should be glad you weren't around when FFF and Rockhard ruled the roost...

[Guest jeffOH]

This too shall pass

 

I'm sorry to hear of your situation and I understand firsthand what it feels like. In 2003, after 12 years without any problems, I was arrested at a hotel in Reynoldsburg, a Columbus suburb for "offering massage without a license" and in 2004 in Columbus for prostitution. In the first instance, I went to the Mayor's Court and paid a small fine less than $100. I also stopped advertising massage.

 

The second arrest was much more traumatic with officers bursting into the hotel room with guns drawn as the undercover officer and I were naked. I had according to him "touched him in a sexual manner". My attorney advised me to immediately pull all advertising (print/internet). I did, but I continued to see regular clients. I was totally freaked out (being Bipolar and off meds didn't help either) and started taking Xanax to help me sleep. When it was all said and done, between the attorney, court costs/fine it was around a $1000. I'd been thinking about entering "semi-retirement" for a while, but the 2nd arrest helped me to make the decision.

 

It sounds like the undercover officer went through the massage hoping to get you on a prostitution charge. I suppose you can be grateful it wasn't more than what it was. Hopefully it will be a fairly small fine for those violations. Perhaps you can continue to see regular clients?

 

I wish you the best with all this and please e-mail me or call should you want to discuss this further. Take care, Jeff.

 

jeff4hire@aol.com

614-224-0246

[MsGuy]

if you think I'm abrasive, you should be glad you weren't around when FFF and Rockhard ruled the roost...

 

In the opinion of their partisans, perhaps. Others would demurr. For certain, a bipartisan majority enjoyed their antics and wish they were both still posting.

[Michael Vincenzo]

Michael,

 

Well, from my perspective, it's your comments that are abrasive - maybe we can call it a 'cat vs dog' thing and leave it at that (though I like your work on-screen).

 

Fair enough! Truce!

[josephga]

I'm scared too death too see regular clients during my remaining time here. I'm scared the police might drive by see them coming out or coming in and stop and question them. I'm sure some of its being paranoid I'm just scared of making things worse..

[josephga]

I gave the apartment notice this morning its going to cost me 2000.00 to leave

[Guest zipperzone]

I gave the apartment notice this morning its going to cost me 2000.00 to leave

 

What happened since yesterday? I thought they were going to let you out of your lease without any penalties.

[josephga]

What happened since yesterday? I thought they were going to let you out of your lease without any penalties.

thats what one of the girls at the office said then i talked to the office manager this morning. even though iv been here 7 years, i just signed a new lease 6 months ago for a year. she said that she can't break the rules. i have too pay just over 2000.00 she did say she wouldn't ask for it all at once and would make out a payment plan. she would rather me pay something each month than turn it over to collections. She is also writing me a letter to submit to the courts that I told them everything and that i was leaving. im hoping the courts will cut me a break too see I'm leaving their county

[JT Brooklyn]

Yeah... Real Estate is a great Racket to be in!

 

They get 2k from you..You Move Out they Up the Rent for the next Person and make a hell of a lot more than 2K! So basically you did them a favor with your Problem!

[josephga]

I didnt want too do what iv seen others do either. allot of people knowing they cant pay would sit here 90 days waiting too be kicked out. having a collection agency after those who default on rent will way heavy on ever getting another apartment.

[alanalt]

Yeah... Real Estate is a great Racket to be in!

 

They get 2k from you..You Move Out they Up the Rent for the next Person and make a hell of a lot more than 2K! So basically you did them a favor with your Problem!

 

It occurs to me the rental market might not be quite the same in Duluth as it is in NYC (i.e. it might not be so easy to get a new tenant and/or charge them more). I'm not saying that I think Joesph's situation with his landlord is fair, but I'd hesitate to make snap judgements one way or the other without know the whole score...

 

Alan

[rocky]

I'm confused

 

From a person who uses the services of escorts and massage experts this entire thread is a bit confusing. Joseph, got caught, that simple. That's the price you pay. I'm not trying to be cold hearted but Joseph don't you think the police are also looking at this thread since as you think they're looking at everything else you do. You've basically told everyone who visits here your tales of woe and how you'll be on th e streets, etc, etc. and also your health issues and money issues (you run up $17,000 in credit card debt then ask for donations??). Find a couple hundred dollars, get an attorney, pay the fine and get on with it. I'm sure Duluth has better things to do but sorry no donation from me.

[MiamiLooker]

From a person who uses the services of escorts and massage experts this entire thread is a bit confusing. Joseph, got caught, that simple. That's the price you pay. I'm not trying to be cold hearted but Joseph don't you think the police are also looking at this thread since as you think they're looking at everything else you do. You've basically told everyone who visits here your tales of woe and how you'll be on th e streets, etc, etc. and also your health issues and money issues (you run up $17,000 in credit card debt then ask for donations??). Find a couple hundred dollars, get an attorney, pay the fine and get on with it. I'm sure Duluth has better things to do but sorry no donation from me.

 

You seem to be making a leap that his credit card debt is due to frivolous purchases. He's stated his credit card debt is due to medical bills. What is confusing about that?

[Guest Tristan]

You seem to be making a leap that his credit card debt is due to frivolous purchases. He's stated his credit card debt is due to medical bills. What is confusing about that?

 

Nothing. It's very credible. Sadly, it's a fact that medical bills are the number one cause of bankruptcy in the US, not frivolous purchases.

 

Let's all remember the old proverb:

 

There but for the grace of God, go I.

[josephga]

I didn't spend any of the 17.000 on me it was all medical. My biggest mistake was not having medical coverage after getting into this line of work. I had colon cancer in 02 and now ms. doctors that see this site know what chemo cost. I'm out way more than 17.000. I lost the 40.000 i had in my savings as well.