Thai Boyfriends

[Casteran]

Anyone have any experience with having a Thai boyfried (U.S. guy meets Thai boy in Thailand, long distance relationship is building via email). Would be interested in others current experiences, any forums or chat rooms for this type of relationship?

[+ glutes]

Not me personally, but a friend has had 2, and both had the same relationship 'qualities':

-You had to meet the family (including parents!!), and give them financial support.

-After you return to the States you will receive several pleas for assistance (school, ill relative, etc.)

[Guest pshaw]

Since Dreaded Ned shut down his forum (but not his website), your best bet would be

http://www.pattayagay.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=1

[+ Lucky]

Or, you could read Bangkok 8, by John Burdett, which is very helpful in seeing these relationships from the Thai point of view (bargirls, in this case.)

[Huey]

There is a site, with a weak forum, though lots of information on this topic ... check it out at http://www.gaybutton.com

 

I love those hot Asian boys .

[Guest pshaw]

Bangkok 8 is probably the best book that I have read this year. I have discussed the book with others who regularly visit Thailand as well as a few expats and all agree that this book REALLY gets into the Thai way of thinking and approach to life more than any other book that we have read by a westerner. I wasn't as wild about the murder mystery aspects of the book, but the insights alone made the book outstanding.

[buckguy]

Bangkok 8 is a great read, but full of nonsernse about Bangkok & Thai culture. The kind of cultural misinformation that comes from spending too much time on bar stools.

[buckguy]

I've known a number of farang with very long-term relationships with Thai guys, but the relationships started in Thailand and the farang in question were long-term expats and able to meet people away from the usual gay venues. Being part of the local gay community helps. Otherwise, it tends to be about money, although there are grey areas that the other posts don't really address (yes, there can be affection and money, but you have to know that this is what you're getting). There aren't that many people with sufficent English (& confidence in their English) to cultivate the kind of relationship you suggest and it's a good bet that you could easily misread the emotional signs--there's usually more going on than people want to express. It's pretty unlikely that you're gonna find true love without some tenure in the country and a way to really get to know someone.

[buckguy]

One other thought--beware of Thai boyfriends with ghost writers. A number of years ago, I knew some NGO worker-English teacher types who supplemented meagre incomes ghosting and translating correspondence for sex workers, male and female. Back in the 80s, a sociologist working in Thailand did it as part of his field work on what he called "open-ended prostitution" involving female sex workers and their farang boyfriends. I would not be surprised if there's a variant on this with pen pals, internet and otherwise. English could not be more different than Thai and written English is tough even for Thais who have studied or worked in English speaking countries.

[Guest msclonly]

Help the Thai boys!

 

Since most of the guys are supporting their families back on the farm, where the Buffalo may have died, they would like to raise some money to compensate for the failed rice crop!

 

It is a good cause, and probably a better place for your money, compared to where you are spending it now! Plus it will get you GQQD KARMA!

 

Save some for a authetic Thai massage to help you get over it and ready for the flight back home!

 

:9 :*

[buckguy]

RE: Help the Thai boys!

 

You're probably being tongue in cheek, but in case you're not------- buffalo is giving way to mechanized agriculture, even in the relatively poor Northeast. When a friend of mine and grad student worked with male bar workers in a "non-professional way" to help organize a bar workers association in Chiang Mai, they discovered that most of the guys were planning to stay in the biz long enough to buy a motorcycle, get together the sizable deposit necessary for an apartment and buy some consumer durables. Money for the folks was low on the list. I've met guys who actually seem to be working their way through school, while others have been in the biz too long to really be doing that.

 

Thai families usually put more responsibility on unmarried daughters than sons to help support the family and even there, where debt bondage is common, the money tends to go for consumer durables rather than subsistance. The women in Bangkok who latch onto to foreigners are usually older and more independent than this and it's a good question whether the family back home sees much of their earnings.

 

Hard luck stories from someone you don't know are just that. There are better ways to earn Karma and more honest reasons to give money to Thai boys.

[Guest pshaw]

RE: Help the Thai boys!

 

Some Thai moneyboys send money home, some don't.

 

Buckguy is correct that you really can't be sure what the real situation is unless you know the person fairly well. When giving money to someone in Thailand, the same rule applies as that to giving personal loans or taking a flyer in the stock market - don't send what you can't afford. If sending the money is going to cause you any hardship or angst, don't do it. If you like the person and sending one or two hundred dollars every now and then isn't a problem, there's no real reason not to do it as long as you don't tie strings to it. If you are sending it with certain conditions or expectations, you would be better off waiting until you have clearer idea about the character of your Thai friend.