Alex & Rob review today.

[Mouth]

RE: Disability - when and what to say

 

All the more reason to discuss things upfront. I have a good friend who hires escorts occasionally and he's a big guy and let the potential escort know right up front. Who needs the frustration and humiliation of a situation that will only make you feel awful.

 

True there are great escorts that are more sexual healers than escorts. They take on one and all and have no problem with anyone. That's great, but frankly, there aren't many of them. I've been in plenty of situations where a well-reviewed escort and I didn't click. It happens. So I try to make sure I'm careful in making my selections. I look at the ages and physical characterizations of each reviewer...it really does help to try to make sure you've done your homework.

 

By not revealing physical handicaps, etc. beforehand, you might as well just go on Craig's list and choose someone who appeals and hope for the best. If it doesn't work, hopefully you haven't paid quite as much. Sorry, I'm in it for the fun, the sex and a happy time.

[Guest alanm]

RE: Alex & Rob review today.

 

>My suspicion, based on their response, is that they think they

>are operating on the moral high ground. I suspect they feel

>they were duped and deceived and that the actions they did

>take were "above and beyond" what was required.

>

>Why do I think this? Because of something we sometimes

>forget: they're young. I don't know these guys at all but

>they're described as being in their 20s, possibly early 20s.

>That's more than old enough to know how to treat someone with

>respect. But, like it or not, guys in their 20s frequently

>act in ways that guys in their 40s generally don't.

>

>Younger guys are still learning a lot about who they are and

>where they fit in the world and how they should act as adults

>in lots of different situations. Don't get me wrong: I'm not

>apologizing for them or excusing their failure to act more

>graciously when given an opportunity to do so. But I do think

>their behavior is understandable and pretty predictable.

 

Alex and Rob are probably older than early 20s. They have 23 reviews, dating as far back as 2002. Their age would be a consideration if they were just starting out or into the second year of escorting. These guys have been around a while, escorting in two locations. They have a sophisticated website, with a link to their reviews which, of course, does not include the last review and response. It's been said time and agin here: escorts reveal much about themselves in responses to a reviews. Ben and many other good escorts would have never written a response like that, regardless of their age.

[jawjateck]

This is the kind of thread I find most interesting and useful. The client has learned a valuable lesson about describing his "uniqueness" to future escorts. All of these responses refering to his "disability" and "deformity" reveal a lack of understanding. He is a special and unique man. I hope he will continue to seek out quality, professional escorts. He deserves it too.

 

I appreciate the review he wrote, which I believe to be useful for those making hiring decisions. As I age, I now consider professionalism, courtesy, intelligence, and respect for the client as important as the hot bod. A man with a great bod who lacks in these areas will never have an appointment with me.

 

As for the escorts, they destroyed 22 previous reviews and any credibility. Opening the door, seeing him as he is, inviting him in, opening his pants and working his dick, for less than the hour, by their own admission, sending him away, accepting full compensation for less than quantity or quality service, without being honest enough to admit they could not and should not have accepted the appointment, then respond by placing exclusive blame on the client means they fail my tests of professionalism, courtesy, intelligence, and respect.

 

To this client, don't give up and don't give in. As much as anyone else in the village of Hoo, you make our city better. We are a better people with you than without you. :-)

[TJM]

>I agree with other posters that more complete

>communication before the appointment would have been better

>for all concerned.

 

I agree with Charlie and the others who emphasize communication. I was looking to hire Rob and Alex so I sent them an email telling them a little about myself and what my expectations would be. They sent a very honest reply which made me decide not to hire them for two main reasons: they said they were not really into kissing unless there was some kind of "chemistry" and they wanted me to send a pic before we met. For me kissing is a big part of the sexual experience. And while I always send a pic to an escort once we agree to meet, I have a problem with the escort asking for one. Had we both not been honest in our initial communication a meeting could have been less than satisfying and truly disappointing. This review and the subsequent response did, however, provide a third reason for not hiring.

[bachdon]

Hi everyone

I am the handicapped reviewer that gave the negative review to Alex/Rob. i have read ,with great interest, all the notes in this thread and truly am impressed with everybody. The messages have all been enlightened, sobering and thoughtful.

Id like to touch on a couple of points, particularly with regards to Alex/Rob's rebuttle of my review.

First. everything in the review was entirely accurate.It is a statement of fact that no escort prior to Alex/Rob made any issue of my disability. Granted i hadnt many before but all without exception were gracious and accomidating and didnt give me the slightest hint that they were ,in any way, uncomfortable. As I have been handicapped all my life, believe me, I know when someone is uncomfortable.

When a client makes it a point to say that they are unattractive, that means something.I disagree that this was in any way a cop out. if this were an issue the escort certainly had the right to further enquire. Alex/Rob did not do this instrad saying that as long as I was clean there would be no problem.

Also Alex/Rob downright lied about the time. I was not 45 minutes late-I was EXACTLY on time because the clock on my car told me that. (I had driven an hour to see them) When I got back in my car after sex shower and a bottled water handed unceramoniously to me as I was shoved out the door,the clock on my car read EXACTLY 15 minutes later.It took another hour to drive home. Apparently there are 2 types of clients, the sexually attractive and the ATM's I now see that my experience had less to do with disability and more to do with simply being an inconvenient mony machine.Disability was merely the excuse.

Nevertheless, I now understand that it is important to tell the escort specifically about the disability beforehand. I am handicap 24/7 and the people in my world truly see the person withen. I have a great job, wonderful friends and an all around great life. So much so that in fact, I forget that I AM disabled. (Especially true since I resigned from the gay community which had a bad habit of consistantly reminding me of the fact)However, disability is far removed from the mindset of most people and so when I present myself, especially to a man who is going to be intimate with me in a short amount of time, then it really is unfair of me not to warn him. Although I understand it, I nevertheless chaif at this. Its kinda like putting on the scarlet f for freak or putting a bell around my neck screaming "unclean"

Since the Alex/Rob episode I have had several encounters that have been beautiful. There are way more sexual healers among escorts then are given credit for. People like MikeATL out of Atlanta, Rick and derrick out of New York,Craig Elliot out of orlando and Mick Powers out of Columbus among others (Ive been busy)are people I have the highest respect for. The episode with Alex/Rob only makes me realize how special these people are and how ultimately sad and unhappy Alex/Rob must be.

[+ Charlie]

RE: Alex & Rob review today.

 

I understand and sympathize with your discomfort in talking about your disability with an escort beforehand, but it is not the same as admitting that you are a "freak", just an objective statement of your physical appearance. As I said in my post, I had a dear gay friend who, as a result of thalidomide, was born with severely stunted legs, partial arms and no hands. Unfortunately, he eventually succumbed to the temptation to market himself as a freak, with bad consequences for his mental health. I'm glad that you have resisted that, and hope you will continue to think of yourself as a normal person with some unusual features that, under certain circumstances, need to be mentioned.

 

But I am bothered by some features of this latest post. Your insistence that the appointment lasted exactly 15 minutes is hard to credit, given that you say it included having sex, taking a shower, and taking a bottle of water. It may have felt like 15 minutes to you, but I suspect there is some exaggeration there (in your review you actually said it lasted "LESS THAN 15 MINUTES"--your caps). You also say you have had "several" satisfactory escort experiences since then, but the review said the appointment took place in April, which is only ten days old--are you really hiring escorts that often? Have you written reviews of these other encounters?

 

As I said before, the basic facts of this incident seem pretty clear, but both sides seem to be slanting the details to their own advantage. That's a natural inclination, but it muddies the waters.

[Rod Hagen]

RE: The Duckling...Ugly Enough?

 

I haven't read the review, but your response is kinda odd. When I open the door and the guy is blind, or deaf, or missing body parts, or has a colostomy bag, and he hasn't told me about said disability, my smile doesn't faulter, and I treat him no differently, but when he leaves I do roll my eyes in a pissed off way. These disabilities don't bother me, but to not mention them before hand when they are so...major irritates me. Like what, you thought you would fool me or something?

 

What facts should one reveal? If you think, should I tell him xxxx then why not just tell the escort about XXXX? Better to have him reject you before you schlep over to his place and pay him, correct?

 

>I disagree. Escorts are in the business of pleasuring people

>and this guy wanted that. Why does he have to reveal his

>deformity? Just what facts does anyone have to reveal before

>the meeting? Suppose you are plain looking? Or even ugly?

>Slightly fat or really heavy? How much is too much? Just one

>leg? A small dick? How do you decide that this is a factor

>that has to be revealed upfront?

>

>It seems to me that it is up to the client who then takes the

>risk that the session would be diminished by his perceived

>lack of attractiveness. But to have tell the escort ahead of

>time means that he will almost always get rejected. By meeting

>the escort in person, he at least has the chance to show a

>warm personality or other aspect of himself that may change

>his desirability in the escort's mind.

[bachdon]

RE: Alex & Rob review today.

 

You can certainly believe what you want but I KNOW what happened. It was 2:00 when I left my car and it was 2:15 when i got back. My clock did not lie and i promise you it did not last longer then that.

As far as the other escorts, several I did see after Alex and Rob but the others were equally beautiful and i was making the point that there are way more good escorts then bad. Sorry for the confusion but i cant help but wonder if you seem to miss the forest for the trees.

[bachdon]

RE: Alex & Rob review today.

 

Im sorry but one more thing. I am bothered by the feeling that somehow that you think its your friends fault that when he touched that guy in the bar the guy went bezerk. I certainly dont know the particulars but how would you feel if that happened to you and then to be told by a friend that somehow you were to blame?

Also when you factor the transportation to and from the house then yes it was LESS then 15 minutes. picky yes but you seem to really need to find some inconsistancy to dismiss my points.

like i said I KNOW what happened.

[bachdon]

RE: The Duckling...Ugly Enough?

 

Do you really think people dont tell you these things just to piss you off? If they truly dont matter to you then whats the problem?

and if you do know, what yould you do differently?

I do believe that the escort should know, i can certainly see that now but believe me, theres a LOT of baggage there. and yes, a tremendous amount of fear. As a disabled person who started this thread by a bad experience your attitude kinda scares me.

[Guest TNT Ted]

Question to bachdon: Is there anything that Alex and Rob could do or say at this point to make amends?

[bachdon]

good question and the answer of course is yes. Take my $200 donate it in my name to a charity. call and apologize. offer to meet with me for free, any of these might be a start because to do any of them requires a certain strength of character that frankly they dont seem to have. certainly amending their rebuttle and retracting the obvious lies wouldnt hurt eather.

The bottom line is that we disabled gay men are not invisable and quite frankly, it is no longer acceptable to be treated as a second class citizen in any sphere of life-and that includes the bedroom.

[+ Charlie]

RE: Alex & Rob review today.

 

I did not suggest in any way that it was my friend's fault that the guy he accidently touched went berzerk. My point was that people often react in strange and illogical ways to people whose appearance disturbs them, and I was surprised at your claim that you had never before received any negative reactions from escorts. It sounds like you are trying to manufacture a reason to discount any criticism I made of your review.

 

And some of the trees in this forest are worth looking at.

[Rod Hagen]

RE: The Happy Duckling!

 

>Do you really think people dont tell you these things just to

>piss you off?

 

No, of course not.

 

> If they truly dont matter to you then whats the

>problem?

 

With me and a lot of other "good guy" escorts, no problem. With many, however, you run the risk of being rejected at the door, or, worse, having a shitty, expensive, encounter that could have been prevented with an upfront phone conversation.

 

>and if you do know, what yould you do differently?

>I do believe that the escort should know, i can certainly see

>that now but believe me, theres a LOT of baggage there. and

>yes, a tremendous amount of fear. As a disabled person who

>started this thread by a bad experience your attitude kinda

>scares me.

 

 

"Pissed" was an exaggeration I guess. Annoyed or confused maybe, only because it almost feels as if he's trying to pull something over on me. But of course I realize that that is not the case. That the real reason someone doesn't say anything beforehand is because they are, understandably, insecure and uncomfortable and afraid to discuss it. That's why I don't get visibly or significantly upset when I'm not told, because I understand why they didn't say anything.

 

And yes, there's that little bit of me that's thinking, "I don't mind the colostomy bag and I can certainly work around it, but shouldn't he at least have told me that he has a colostomy bag? Wouldn't that be the courteous, if understandably difficult, thing to do?"

 

Now, remember, I haven't yet read the review so I don't have any idea what context this discussion is occurring within.

 

Don't be scared! I'm good guy and fortunately there are lots of us (thank goodness for reviews!) I just find the things clients choose to reveal and choose to conceal confounding!

 

http://www.RodHagen.com

310.360.9890

Fun, Fit, Friendly Fucker in West Hollywood.

-Rod Hagen

[bachdon]

RE: Alex & Rob review today.

 

Charlie this is such total BS believe me or not i dont care but I highly take offense at being called a liar

[bachdon]

RE: The Happy Duckling!

 

hey Rod

You make a lot of sense and again I totally believe in the importance of letting the escort know before hand regardless of how I might feel about it.

and yea, i probably really need to chill but this is life 24/7 Its not a hypothetical discussion and we really are talking about real feelings.

Ill try and quit hyperventillating:-)

[+ Charlie]

RE: Alex & Rob review today.

 

Check your private messages.

[Lookin]

Bachdon, I’m really glad you posted and added some background on what your experiences have been. I didn’t post before, even though this discussion caused me, and many others, to do some soul searching. Now you’ve made me think some more.

 

I’m over sixty and, when I first started seeing escorts a couple of years ago, I always mentioned it when I made the appointment. Even though most escorts advertise that age doesn’t matter, there are a few who do have a cutoff, and I figured it was better to be safe than sorry. After a bunch of good experiences, and no rejections before or during the hookups, I started sometimes neglecting to mention my age. It had always felt a little weird to wear a scarlet “O”. Since it hadn’t made a difference up till then, I sometimes stopped mentioning it.

 

Your experience reminded me that I’m opening myself up to either a rejection or a less-than-satisfying experience if I were to hook up with an escort who found my age to be a major turnoff. I would really hate for that to happen, even once. Like you, I’d get over any such rejection, since I know there’s a lot more to who I am than my attractiveness to a studmuffin. But it’s still an experience I’d prefer to avoid. So I’m now re-evaluating my desire to feel “mainstream”, versus my desire not to be rejected.

 

I don’t know if that’s at all analogous to your thought processes, but I feel I’ve learned something from your experiences. Thanks for sharing them.

 

And I will join you in being thankful for the sexual healers among our workin’ friends.

[dcdaniel]

I’ve been with Rob and Alex 10 times over the past 3 years. They are kind, wonderful, sincere gentlemen are master at the art of escorting. I never felt rushed or uncomfortable when I was with them. Every time I’ve been with them I leave their home so sexually fulfilled I want to turn my car around and go back for another hour. These two guys are the best in the business their masterful bodied and sexually energy is only eclipsed by their warmth and kindness.

 

That being said I had to post a comment concerning the review and subsequent fall-out. A reaction is based on an action. The reaction was the way the clinent belived the events transpired and the follow-up response by Rob and Alex. However, the action was the client not being truthful about his condition to Rob and Alex. Had the action not occurred a reaction would not have followed? Listen I’m more than truthful to the way I look. I would much rather have the escorts been surprise that I’m better looking than I described.

 

It’s unfortunate that this one review has tarnished the stellar reputation of Rob and Alex.

 

I look forward to seeing these two gentleman again real SOON!