Being Honest

[+ Lucky]

Alan, I did not "come back" at Rick several times. I responded once, stating that I was glad to have provided him with an opportunity to state his new position. I thought his response was intelligent and well-said.

 

The point I make here is that otherwise intelligent people do not always respond intelligently when faced with the honesty of a person's HIV poz status. Rick admits that his position changed after reflection on the subject. Rock Hard continues to avoid this reevaluation.

[+ Tygerscent]

RE: Complete support!

 

Hey Jesse! Your character shines! Lots of different impressions of what HIV means to different people here on the board and in life in general but you will develope a sense of what it means to you over time and experience. By whatever definition or words that people will put to it... it is a challenge... I'm not saying that's good or bad. Challenges are arenas where we have the opportunity to look at things in new ways... re-evaluate ourselves and our purposes and intentions in Life. They offer the fear of the unknown and missperceived but also the opportunity for change and growth. Health is not a constant in any of our lives as human beings. The surprise confrontation of our human vulnerability can be shocking but eventually the question follows: "What do I do now?"

I drowned and was supposedly "Dead" when I was seven... I unknowingly had hypertension since my early teens. I had a stroke and was disabled when I was 24. They said I would be lucky to live past 30. My consideration of Life an Living was challenged and I came to value the worth of both, as well as the people around me and those I encounter while living. I'm 40 now~

Since then I have written volumes, done cancer research, taught immunology, received my masters in Arabic, traveled the world, acted and written films... I've lived fully and tried to impact the people around me in a good way as well as try to enlighten myself along the way when possible.

Change is inevitable with regard to our human being... finances, health, happiness, age, material posessions... all of these things change over time... regardless... you are always still a person.

You, in particular, are not Just a person, but one with good character through your display of honesty and bravery! Your value to those around you has increased immeasurably through your example!

Stay Wonderful and continue to do great things!

Tyger!

[email protected]

503.317.8055

http://www.tygerscent.biz

[Andre]

Its not often that I’m left speechless, what to say when you can’t find the words? Be strong and don't give up. GOD bless you

[RockHard]

I'm very disappointed that certain posters felt the need to turn Jesse's confession into a sort of let's-gang-up-on "I Love Lucy"-lovin' Rick, and for no good reason. The better men among you would apologize.

 

Discriminate means "to make sensible decisions" and "to judge wisely." How could this possibly be a bad thing when confronted with an hiv+ sex partner on either side of an encounter? Is there anyone among us who would suck the cock of a man who just said, "Oh, pardon that pus, I was just diagnosed with syphilis."?

 

Escorting is a risky business. Discussing the fears associated with those risks is a very healthy thing to do. I FULLY admired Rick Munroe for sharing his fears with us. In a business where few demonstrate any fear, Rick stood up and put his cards on the table and I will never forget the thread because it had an impressionable impact on me. I wish more people in this industry could demonstrate such honesty and courage. Jesse Dane and Rick Munroe are excellent examples of how a man of conscience behaves.

 

Honesty rarely comes without contradictions. Human beings with a conscience mind are complicated people. In a world rampant with denial, "assuming everyone is HIV+" is the only way for HIV- people to fully protect ourselves. Few clients and escorts are honest with each other, let alone themselves.

 

I don't believe for one second that anyone in these discussions thinks HIV+ men should be locked up and quarantined, and live a life without sex. But, when an HIV- person is faced with having sex with an HIV+ person, the conscience mind can easily shift gears to thoughts of health, safety and behavior, and your own mortality. Good luck keeping that hard-on.

[+ Oliver]

>Discriminate means "to make sensible decisions" and "to judge wisely." <

 

RH, I do believe the other definition - "to make a difference in treatment or favor on a basis other than individual merit" is the one used here. Makes quite a difference and rather undermines your next statement.

 

Meanwhile -- I applaud your honesty, Jesse, and wish you well.

[RockHard]

Oliver, I'm fully aware the word "discrimination" has several meanings. I do not believe all discrimination is derogatory, demeaning, or unfair and it bothers me that Mr. Draker seemed to use the word to imply a red-hot negative. Some discrimination is healthy.

 

I believe it is smart thinking for an HIV- man to think twice before exchanging body fluids with an HIV+ man, I don't care what his profession is. No HIV- escort should EVER feel dutybound to "service" HIV+ patrons. Placing yourself at such risk is purely an individual decision. There is no honor or righteousness in welcoming a death threatening virus into your life.

 

As an HIV- gay man, I prefer not to have unbridled sex with HIV+ gay men. One could call this decision an act of discrimination or a discriminatory decision and they would be correct on both counts. However, this does NOT mean I prefer HIV+ men to be homeless, jobless, denied health care, or live a life without sex and love.

[Steven_Draker]

I stand for what I said previously.

 

What I meant is that personally I don't ask and don't care what your status is. I assume that everyone is HIV+ Period.

 

Therefore I don't see why I should decline someone who tells me he's poz. I would appreciate his honesty and won't turn him away. That's my personal decision. I'm sure that if you're sexually active you've had encounters with poz people without knowing it. Why deluding yourself ?

 

Persiste et signe,

Steven Draker ~

[JT Brooklyn]

Agree Rock..In The "Heat of Passion" Terrible mistakes can and have been made. The List of Safe things is not a long one.

"Companionship" will play the biggest part in this type of Situation. IMHO of course.

:7

[Yeswell]

My practice is the same as Steven's: I assume that everyone is HIV positive. That means that I always have safe sex. Still, I agree with Rockhard. To call refusing to have sex with HIV-positive people discrimination seems to me to belittle the more serious discrimination (in healthcare, employment, housing, access to services and travel and so on) to which they are subject. Given those serious kinds of problem, it would be rather vain to say that being denied sex with me was discrimination. If that were the only problem facing HIV positive people today then I would say that they were doing very well.

[Rick Munroe]

>I FULLY

>admired Rick Munroe for sharing his fears with us. In a

>business where few demonstrate any fear, Rick stood up and put

>his cards on the table and I will never forget the thread

>because it had an impressionable impact on me.

 

Honey, if you like fears, I have a whole bunch I could list for you.

 

>I wish more

>people in this industry could demonstrate such honesty and

>courage. Jesse Dane and Rick Munroe are excellent examples of

>how a man of conscience behaves.

 

Rock, I truly appreciate it but I think that Jesse's declaration took way more courage and conscience than mine. But I'm never one to turn down praise.

[Rick Munroe]

>What I meant is that personally I don't ask...

 

I don't ask clients about their HIV status, either, just as I don't ask their race, weight, age, etc. In my original post that started all of this, and into which you jumped, I'd said that the problem occurred when clients chose to tell me.

 

>I'm sure that if you're

>sexually active you've had encounters with poz people without

>knowing it. Why deluding yourself ?

 

There's no delusion involved. If you'd read the original thread that Lucky referenced, my whole point was that, yes, it's unfair and illogical, but unfortunately (the word I purposely chose), when someone told me they were positive, it was in the front of my brain and something that prohibited me from giving them my all. Yes, I assume all guys are positive, but that doesn't mean that during every session with every client, my mind is racing with the thought that they are positive. That would be nuts. Yes, I play safe at all times, but I don't also think, "He is pos" at every moment. I need to be able to play safe while at the same time allowing myself to fully enjoy and "be" in the moment.

 

This might be a bad analogy, but it's kind of like the Will and Grace episode where Grace is dating a great guy who tells her that he has 6 toes on one foot. Once she knows that, even though she hasn't seen it, it is all she can think of when they are together and she just can't get past it. That was the point I was originally trying to make -- that it was a mental block, not that I thought HIV positive clients were somehow unworthy and deserved to be shunned.

[Steven_Draker]

I was replying to RockHard's post #55

[Rick Munroe]

>I was replying to RockHard's post

>#55

 

Right, and in that reply, you said, "I stand for what I said previously" and what you'd said previously was that you fully agreed with Lucky, whose post was directed to me. Damn, I should have gone to law school after all.