Love in Other Languages

[Will]

For the past ten days I've been surrounded by the French language. It's in my ears and in my eyes but not -- except haltingly -- on my tongue. The sense of otherness that linguistic isolation brings, together with the musings that come along to fill up the spaces left over, set me up to respond very deeply to BenDover's thread about BEFORE NIGHT FALLS. The other responses have been both interesting and moving, as well as educational.

 

My question, then, is directed to those of you -- clients or escorts -- who have had extensive sexual/emotional experiences in cultures other than the U.S. I know that there are many of you out there, but I don't think I've ever read your reflections about the kinds of differences and similarities you encounter.

 

For instance, I know that the whole concept of "gay identity" is as American as baseball and Coca-Cola. But I also know that, like baseball and Coca-Cola, it's been exported. What are your thoughts about this?

[Will]

For the past ten days I've been surrounded by the French language. It's in my ears and in my eyes but not -- except haltingly -- on my tongue. The sense of otherness that linguistic isolation brings, together with the musings that come along to fill up the spaces left over, set me up to respond very deeply to BenDover's thread about BEFORE NIGHT FALLS. The other responses have been both interesting and moving, as well as educational.

 

My question, then, is directed to those of you -- clients or escorts -- who have had extensive sexual/emotional experiences in cultures other than the U.S. I know that there are many of you out there, but I don't think I've ever read your reflections about the kinds of differences and similarities you encounter.

 

For instance, I know that the whole concept of "gay identity" is as American as baseball and Coca-Cola. But I also know that, like baseball and Coca-Cola, it's been exported. What are your thoughts about this?

[Guest EricG]

First at all, we don't even have a term for "gay" in Spanish. We just say 'gay' pronouncing like <ghei> It ceratinly tells a lot about our culture. And I think it is the same in several other languages. This that not means that there is no gay life in Spain and Latin America; in fact, it is quite intensive, particularly in Spain and the Caribbean. A complex subject: sounds like a contradiction but, inspite of everything, sometimes gay life may sometimes be more open and freely expressed (I couldn't explain why exactly) That's why Reinaldo Arenas' intenisve (and may be promiscous) sex life was not easily understood here in America. Manuel Puig complaint about the same thing and that's why he finally left New York City (at that time the gay capital of the world). An yes, each language has a sexuality of its own. I have had sex in a couple of different ones and there is a difference. I wish my English was better to express myself more clearly.

 

Great thread!

[Guest EricG]

First at all, we don't even have a term for "gay" in Spanish. We just say 'gay' pronouncing like <ghei> It ceratinly tells a lot about our culture. And I think it is the same in several other languages. This that not means that there is no gay life in Spain and Latin America; in fact, it is quite intensive, particularly in Spain and the Caribbean. A complex subject: sounds like a contradiction but, inspite of everything, sometimes gay life may sometimes be more open and freely expressed (I couldn't explain why exactly) That's why Reinaldo Arenas' intenisve (and may be promiscous) sex life was not easily understood here in America. Manuel Puig complaint about the same thing and that's why he finally left New York City (at that time the gay capital of the world). An yes, each language has a sexuality of its own. I have had sex in a couple of different ones and there is a difference. I wish my English was better to express myself more clearly.

 

Great thread!

[trilingual]

Actually, "gay identity" isn't an American export. (Another example of American geo-centrism?) The concept, under other names, first surfaced in Germany, through the work and teaching of Magnus Hirschfeld. When things were clandestine and underground in the U.S., gay life in forms we would find surprisingly recognizable today was in full swing in Berlin. There's a reason Christopher Isherwood and many others went there to hang out after WWI and before the Nazis took over in 1933. In modern times, "gay identity" certainly exists in all the Northern European countries and not as an American export product, although the U.S. certainly has had an influence. However, anyone who has spent time in the gay communities in France, Holland, Denmark or Germany would certainly realize that although they indeed identify as such, their sensibilities, perceptions and organization are different than in the U.S. The way individual gay people in those countries live and identify is also different than in the U.S., although they would certainly consider themselves "gay." Even in Spain and Portugal, where the Church, dictatorships and machismo kept the lid on for so many years, a modern indigenous gay scene has burst into being. Some elements may resemble the U.S., but in most ways they are the product of their own cultures and societies.

 

Linguistically, I can speak of the languages I know best other than English: Spanish and Portuguese. Every language is expressive, of course, but my personal perception is that Spanish and Portuguese are more sensual than English. It's possible to be romantic in English, but it's a lot better in a Romance language! :-) You can say amazingly sentimental and romantic things in those languages which sound perfectly fine, but which would make us cringe if expressed in English. Also, to me Brazilian Portuguese in particular is very witty, with endless plays on words and double-entendres. It's especially fascinating how many colloquial words there are in Brazilian Portuguese for "penis." The list is long indeed, and well used. This in comparison to our relatively impoverished "dick" and "cock."

 

Just a few cross-cultural observations to kick off the topic! :-)

[Guest cp8036]

Most of my ex's were latino, Mexican, Colombian. I am white, midwestern guy.

 

There were some differences,specifically issues about jealousy, tempers, and friends. While not good to stereotype, there is the hot latin temper.

 

Probably the biggest issue for me was bring him around with my friends. Some of my ex's in past years were not that fluent in English, I am fluent in Spanish. At home we spoke in Spanish, but was hard to include my friends sometimes due to language.

 

I think gay man is rather American. Now in Mexico you can see many gays a la American. Before was just machos and really, really femmy gay men. The roles were strict, macho top, femmy bottom. The machos never considered themselves gay as they never got penetrated. Now you see more mainstream gays, gay bars, so perhpas we exported to them.

 

In general, I think Latin and European men can have m2m sex once or more, and not worry about identity. They may just try it, or was right for the moment. They probably are not gay, not bi, just horny. They dont get caught up on if he is gay or not.

[trilingual]

Actually, "gay identity" isn't an American export. (Another example of American geo-centrism?) The concept, under other names, first surfaced in Germany, through the work and teaching of Magnus Hirschfeld. When things were clandestine and underground in the U.S., gay life in forms we would find surprisingly recognizable today was in full swing in Berlin. There's a reason Christopher Isherwood and many others went there to hang out after WWI and before the Nazis took over in 1933. In modern times, "gay identity" certainly exists in all the Northern European countries and not as an American export product, although the U.S. certainly has had an influence. However, anyone who has spent time in the gay communities in France, Holland, Denmark or Germany would certainly realize that although they indeed identify as such, their sensibilities, perceptions and organization are different than in the U.S. The way individual gay people in those countries live and identify is also different than in the U.S., although they would certainly consider themselves "gay." Even in Spain and Portugal, where the Church, dictatorships and machismo kept the lid on for so many years, a modern indigenous gay scene has burst into being. Some elements may resemble the U.S., but in most ways they are the product of their own cultures and societies.

 

Linguistically, I can speak of the languages I know best other than English: Spanish and Portuguese. Every language is expressive, of course, but my personal perception is that Spanish and Portuguese are more sensual than English. It's possible to be romantic in English, but it's a lot better in a Romance language! :-) You can say amazingly sentimental and romantic things in those languages which sound perfectly fine, but which would make us cringe if expressed in English. Also, to me Brazilian Portuguese in particular is very witty, with endless plays on words and double-entendres. It's especially fascinating how many colloquial words there are in Brazilian Portuguese for "penis." The list is long indeed, and well used. This in comparison to our relatively impoverished "dick" and "cock."

 

Just a few cross-cultural observations to kick off the topic! :-)

[Guest cp8036]

Most of my ex's were latino, Mexican, Colombian. I am white, midwestern guy.

 

There were some differences,specifically issues about jealousy, tempers, and friends. While not good to stereotype, there is the hot latin temper.

 

Probably the biggest issue for me was bring him around with my friends. Some of my ex's in past years were not that fluent in English, I am fluent in Spanish. At home we spoke in Spanish, but was hard to include my friends sometimes due to language.

 

I think gay man is rather American. Now in Mexico you can see many gays a la American. Before was just machos and really, really femmy gay men. The roles were strict, macho top, femmy bottom. The machos never considered themselves gay as they never got penetrated. Now you see more mainstream gays, gay bars, so perhpas we exported to them.

 

In general, I think Latin and European men can have m2m sex once or more, and not worry about identity. They may just try it, or was right for the moment. They probably are not gay, not bi, just horny. They dont get caught up on if he is gay or not.

[Will]

Tri, after I zapped off that post yesterday, I thought, "Somebody is going to nail me for saying that 'gay identity' is an American invention. It will be beside the point, it will piss me off, but he will be correct in the strictest sense."

 

Therefore, to try to keep the thread its original color and not change it, let me thank you for mentioning Magnus Hirschfeld. I have read his work, that of Edward Carpenter and other nineteenth-century German and English thinkers who blazed our trail. It is not, however, an example of America-centrism for me to say that "gay identity" has a Yankee accent, at least in the sense that I meant it. In my post I intended "gay" to imply the contemporary, post-Stonewall, vernacular, common understanding.

 

I also acknowledge that it is not helpful for me to get pissed off over your coy display of one-upsmanship. But pissed off I was. Was. Now it's off my chest.

 

I had a fling with a Lebanese once and it was the weirdest thing I've ever gotten into. I don't know whether it's because he was crazy, or because same-sex-oriented Christian Arab men have bizarre ways of pathologizing sexual desire. Anyhow, he talked all night about "Erotic" vs. "Neurotic." A pity. He was one of the hottest men I have ever seen.

[Will]

Tri, after I zapped off that post yesterday, I thought, "Somebody is going to nail me for saying that 'gay identity' is an American invention. It will be beside the point, it will piss me off, but he will be correct in the strictest sense."

 

Therefore, to try to keep the thread its original color and not change it, let me thank you for mentioning Magnus Hirschfeld. I have read his work, that of Edward Carpenter and other nineteenth-century German and English thinkers who blazed our trail. It is not, however, an example of America-centrism for me to say that "gay identity" has a Yankee accent, at least in the sense that I meant it. In my post I intended "gay" to imply the contemporary, post-Stonewall, vernacular, common understanding.

 

I also acknowledge that it is not helpful for me to get pissed off over your coy display of one-upsmanship. But pissed off I was. Was. Now it's off my chest.

 

I had a fling with a Lebanese once and it was the weirdest thing I've ever gotten into. I don't know whether it's because he was crazy, or because same-sex-oriented Christian Arab men have bizarre ways of pathologizing sexual desire. Anyhow, he talked all night about "Erotic" vs. "Neurotic." A pity. He was one of the hottest men I have ever seen.

[Guest MrB]

So strange. I see more similarity than difference, wherever I travel. Being gay is not an American invention nor a German one... just one of God's great gifts to mankind so we wouldn't have to perform cunnilingus. (If you had to look that up, you don't understand where I'm coming from).

 

Sure there are differences from country to country and from nationality to nationality. In my experience, they have remarkably little to do with gay life and gay identity.

 

 

 

MrB

[Guest MrB]

So strange. I see more similarity than difference, wherever I travel. Being gay is not an American invention nor a German one... just one of God's great gifts to mankind so we wouldn't have to perform cunnilingus. (If you had to look that up, you don't understand where I'm coming from).

 

Sure there are differences from country to country and from nationality to nationality. In my experience, they have remarkably little to do with gay life and gay identity.

 

 

 

MrB

[Guest BenDover]

I want desparately to participate in this thread, but after reading all the posts, I'm not really certain what this thread is about. (So why, you ask, are you desparate to participate?) Primarily because I have become very interested by you individual posters and what you have to say just about everything.

 

Are people suggesting that there is an ethos peculiar to gay people universally over their culture of origin? Is each individual culture expressed in their gay identities or the other way around? Is it really the language of emotion, or repression, or anatomy?

 

I lived in Europe for 6 months awhile back, and made love with Italians, Frenchmen, Dutch, Czechs, Irishmen and Spaniards. Yes, I was busy, but oh so entertained. I remember wanting so badly to communicate with a young guy in Paris who was clearly into what we were doing, speaking what I can only assume was hot shit. All I could do to share with him was really moan and groan.

 

I also remember being totally confused in Holland by my gaydar while out on the streets of Amsterdam, not knowing who was or was not gay. Is that peculiar to the Dutch who have so unbelievably normalized gayness into their society? While in Italy, being totally confused again by the signals I thought I was getting from men there, only to find out they were either indignant when I approached them or frantic to get it on and over with. While in Spain, there was incredible passion followed by a genuine desire to establish a friendship following our tryst.

 

Certainly, I cannot make generalizations on these cultures and the men who have sex with men in them, and that is not my intention. I am just trying to understand more fully this thread, because I think it is a fascinating topic and one that I was particularly moved by in the reading of Reinaldo Arenas' book, Before Night Falls.

[Guest BenDover]

I want desparately to participate in this thread, but after reading all the posts, I'm not really certain what this thread is about. (So why, you ask, are you desparate to participate?) Primarily because I have become very interested by you individual posters and what you have to say just about everything.

 

Are people suggesting that there is an ethos peculiar to gay people universally over their culture of origin? Is each individual culture expressed in their gay identities or the other way around? Is it really the language of emotion, or repression, or anatomy?

 

I lived in Europe for 6 months awhile back, and made love with Italians, Frenchmen, Dutch, Czechs, Irishmen and Spaniards. Yes, I was busy, but oh so entertained. I remember wanting so badly to communicate with a young guy in Paris who was clearly into what we were doing, speaking what I can only assume was hot shit. All I could do to share with him was really moan and groan.

 

I also remember being totally confused in Holland by my gaydar while out on the streets of Amsterdam, not knowing who was or was not gay. Is that peculiar to the Dutch who have so unbelievably normalized gayness into their society? While in Italy, being totally confused again by the signals I thought I was getting from men there, only to find out they were either indignant when I approached them or frantic to get it on and over with. While in Spain, there was incredible passion followed by a genuine desire to establish a friendship following our tryst.

 

Certainly, I cannot make generalizations on these cultures and the men who have sex with men in them, and that is not my intention. I am just trying to understand more fully this thread, because I think it is a fascinating topic and one that I was particularly moved by in the reading of Reinaldo Arenas' book, Before Night Falls.

[Guest WetDream]

Good response, Mr. Dover. I'm also interested in this thread but am a bit stymied by what it is after. There are certainly cultural variations in each country to bridge (i.e., your faulty gaydar). I've also experienced the language barrier, mostly after the physical act. Quite frankly, my Hungarian and Indonesian isn't what it should be. Even in my home town I've run into problems. Met a really intelligent Korean guy who was an exchange fellow at UC Berkeley. The sex was terrific but difficulty in communicating about life in general was so frustrating for both of us that the relationship foundered.

[Guest WetDream]

Good response, Mr. Dover. I'm also interested in this thread but am a bit stymied by what it is after. There are certainly cultural variations in each country to bridge (i.e., your faulty gaydar). I've also experienced the language barrier, mostly after the physical act. Quite frankly, my Hungarian and Indonesian isn't what it should be. Even in my home town I've run into problems. Met a really intelligent Korean guy who was an exchange fellow at UC Berkeley. The sex was terrific but difficulty in communicating about life in general was so frustrating for both of us that the relationship foundered.

[trilingual]

The great point of this thread? Who knows? Other than that there's a whole wide world out there beyond the shores and borders of the U.S.

 

What's universal among gay men no matter where they are? Simple: They recognize themselves as men who mostly like to have sex with other men. As for the rest of their identity, there are as many differences as there are cultures, and that's what makes the world go 'round. Not to mention what keeps so many of us chasing around the world trying to enjoy all those variations!

 

As noted elsewhere in this thread and on these boards, there are also a lot of guys out there who have sex with guys (sometimes very often) but don't identify themselves as being "gay" as long as they aren't being penetrated. I wouldn't call them gay, as they don't self-identify that way. By U.S. standards many of them are probably what we'd call "bi." As I've grown older and wiser, I hope, I've stopped caring as much about how people label themselves and more about what they're in the mood to do! :-)

[trilingual]

The great point of this thread? Who knows? Other than that there's a whole wide world out there beyond the shores and borders of the U.S.

 

What's universal among gay men no matter where they are? Simple: They recognize themselves as men who mostly like to have sex with other men. As for the rest of their identity, there are as many differences as there are cultures, and that's what makes the world go 'round. Not to mention what keeps so many of us chasing around the world trying to enjoy all those variations!

 

As noted elsewhere in this thread and on these boards, there are also a lot of guys out there who have sex with guys (sometimes very often) but don't identify themselves as being "gay" as long as they aren't being penetrated. I wouldn't call them gay, as they don't self-identify that way. By U.S. standards many of them are probably what we'd call "bi." As I've grown older and wiser, I hope, I've stopped caring as much about how people label themselves and more about what they're in the mood to do! :-)

[Will]

Dear Ben, as the person who started this thread, let me rush to assure you that I didn't have anything very profound in mind at all. I was both moved by and interested in the posts on the thread about BEFORE NIGHT FALLS. And because I'm (temporarily) in a country whose language I do not speak fluently, I've had "foreignness" very much on my mind. All my original post was intended to do was to invite people to share their experiences. As it was, we were talking about Latin American writers, and I just thought I'd widen the scope a little bit to include other cultures.

 

As regards someone's getting choked by the endless possibilities for opening himself up to accusations of all kinds of currently unfashionable social gaffes, let me also hasten to say that I'm after the anecdotal, not the theoretical. It goes without saying that I know it's difficult to generalize. Of course one has to speak of the general out of the limits of one's experience. Of course there are similarities of all kinds among all kinds of people. Of course what is true of one individual in a society may or may not be true of others. Of course, of course, of course.

 

But if we cannot make generalizations, we cannot talk about anything at all. Even Anglo-Saxon law, as I understand it, assumes a written code to be equivocal when it comes to assessing a specific deed against a standard of civil behavior. That's one reason we have judges, grand juries, and juries: individual cases don't always conform precisely to what the verbal generalization (i.e., the law) specifies. One person's "truth" may be another person's "misrepresentation" or even "lie."

 

Even so, without generalizations there might be no chance for civilization at all, no culture, no conversation, no literature, no art of any kind. We are forced to operate within the boundaries, however loose, of general fields of shared discourses. To argue that no generalization about any group for any reason is legitimate is, fundamentally, both grimly cynical and, indeed, anarchical.

 

And that's my little lesson in political philosophy for today. Now, back to sex.

[Will]

Dear Ben, as the person who started this thread, let me rush to assure you that I didn't have anything very profound in mind at all. I was both moved by and interested in the posts on the thread about BEFORE NIGHT FALLS. And because I'm (temporarily) in a country whose language I do not speak fluently, I've had "foreignness" very much on my mind. All my original post was intended to do was to invite people to share their experiences. As it was, we were talking about Latin American writers, and I just thought I'd widen the scope a little bit to include other cultures.

 

As regards someone's getting choked by the endless possibilities for opening himself up to accusations of all kinds of currently unfashionable social gaffes, let me also hasten to say that I'm after the anecdotal, not the theoretical. It goes without saying that I know it's difficult to generalize. Of course one has to speak of the general out of the limits of one's experience. Of course there are similarities of all kinds among all kinds of people. Of course what is true of one individual in a society may or may not be true of others. Of course, of course, of course.

 

But if we cannot make generalizations, we cannot talk about anything at all. Even Anglo-Saxon law, as I understand it, assumes a written code to be equivocal when it comes to assessing a specific deed against a standard of civil behavior. That's one reason we have judges, grand juries, and juries: individual cases don't always conform precisely to what the verbal generalization (i.e., the law) specifies. One person's "truth" may be another person's "misrepresentation" or even "lie."

 

Even so, without generalizations there might be no chance for civilization at all, no culture, no conversation, no literature, no art of any kind. We are forced to operate within the boundaries, however loose, of general fields of shared discourses. To argue that no generalization about any group for any reason is legitimate is, fundamentally, both grimly cynical and, indeed, anarchical.

 

And that's my little lesson in political philosophy for today. Now, back to sex.

[Guest BenDover]

Dear Will, et. al.,

I am finding that a new "foreign language" I am encountering is what we are all writing in this message center. I am new to this, so I am learning that communicating with just the written word and without benefit of affect, body language and inflection are quite challenging. Nonetheless, I am committed to this site because I so enjoy the thoughtful discussions about sex that I have wanted to have for years and years.

 

My primary point in contributing to this thread was to compliment those of you who had written on not just this thread, but also on others and to also let you know that as I am now understanding this new "foreign language" of cyberspace, I have grown fond of you all through your ideas and the manner in which you respond to each other. (I know, a huge run-on sentence.)

 

Geez, I'm rambling. Back to the thread. Kind of. One of the difficulties with this "foreign language" of cyberspace, is that it is so easy to become tangential. To take off on a comment or phrasing that was minor in intent, but then becomes major in the discussion. I find that I am overly sensitive to being plolitically correct, non-judgmental and all-inclusive. Which all sucks.

 

Suffice to say, Will, I hope you are enjoying your time on the foreign grounds upon which you tread. Be safe and well, and continue to feed us with your thoughts. Same for the rest of you buggers who I am kind of growing fond of through these posts.

[Guest BenDover]

Dear Will, et. al.,

I am finding that a new "foreign language" I am encountering is what we are all writing in this message center. I am new to this, so I am learning that communicating with just the written word and without benefit of affect, body language and inflection are quite challenging. Nonetheless, I am committed to this site because I so enjoy the thoughtful discussions about sex that I have wanted to have for years and years.

 

My primary point in contributing to this thread was to compliment those of you who had written on not just this thread, but also on others and to also let you know that as I am now understanding this new "foreign language" of cyberspace, I have grown fond of you all through your ideas and the manner in which you respond to each other. (I know, a huge run-on sentence.)

 

Geez, I'm rambling. Back to the thread. Kind of. One of the difficulties with this "foreign language" of cyberspace, is that it is so easy to become tangential. To take off on a comment or phrasing that was minor in intent, but then becomes major in the discussion. I find that I am overly sensitive to being plolitically correct, non-judgmental and all-inclusive. Which all sucks.

 

Suffice to say, Will, I hope you are enjoying your time on the foreign grounds upon which you tread. Be safe and well, and continue to feed us with your thoughts. Same for the rest of you buggers who I am kind of growing fond of through these posts.

[Guest WetDream]

RE: An Anecdote

 

"...I'm after the anecdotal, not the theoretical."

 

I was in Budapest a year ago last May. On my second night there I was sitting on a bench facing the Danube in a park to the right of the Elizabeth Bridge – the city’s cruising area. It is always a bit nerve-wracking for me, picking up men in a strange city: unsure of the local customs, afraid of the cops. It was twilight and there were plenty of young men around, strolling back and forth (mostly Romanians without working papers). A really good-looking man (dark wavy hair, about 5”10” tall, solid muscular body, a well-hung look about him) stopped and leaned against the railing overlooking the river. He glanced at me a couple of times and wandered over to the bench and sat at the other end.

 

Silence…more glances. He had blazing blue eyes. More silences…smiles. Finally he asked, “American?” “Yes…” What followed over the next 45 minutes was one of the most intense, frustrating and erotic episodes of my life. While it was clear that we were both strongly attracted to each other, the language barrier was extreme. It turns out he was a native Albanian working in Germany. He and his wife were in Budapest visiting her relatives. This information was dug out painfully slowly. He had only a few words of English and I had zero knowledge of Albanian. He spoke German fluently but mine was severely limited to remembered nouns and verbs from opera libretti.

 

By this time we had edged closer to each other, legs touching, and hands gingerly touching backs and butts – out of the visual range of the locals and tourists taking their evening strolls. He had to meet his wife soon and there wasn’t time to get back to my rented flat that evening. He was free the next evening but I had tickets to the opera (a Bartok double bill of “Bluebeard’s Castle” and “Miraculous Mandarin”). He was headed back to Germany the next morning.

 

We had clearly “clicked” on some basic, instinctual level but were denied the chance to explore our rapport physically or intellectually. Our hands and our conversation fumbled until it was time for him to leave to meet his wife. We squeezed each other’s arms and he left. Both of us wore sad smiles.

 

I did make contact with a couple of the Rumanians – one dark and charming, the other blond with movie-star good looks – over the course my visit. But I left the city a bit unsatisfied. The ones that get away are the ones that plant their hooks deeply.

[Guest WetDream]

RE: An Anecdote

 

"...I'm after the anecdotal, not the theoretical."

 

I was in Budapest a year ago last May. On my second night there I was sitting on a bench facing the Danube in a park to the right of the Elizabeth Bridge – the city’s cruising area. It is always a bit nerve-wracking for me, picking up men in a strange city: unsure of the local customs, afraid of the cops. It was twilight and there were plenty of young men around, strolling back and forth (mostly Romanians without working papers). A really good-looking man (dark wavy hair, about 5”10” tall, solid muscular body, a well-hung look about him) stopped and leaned against the railing overlooking the river. He glanced at me a couple of times and wandered over to the bench and sat at the other end.

 

Silence…more glances. He had blazing blue eyes. More silences…smiles. Finally he asked, “American?” “Yes…” What followed over the next 45 minutes was one of the most intense, frustrating and erotic episodes of my life. While it was clear that we were both strongly attracted to each other, the language barrier was extreme. It turns out he was a native Albanian working in Germany. He and his wife were in Budapest visiting her relatives. This information was dug out painfully slowly. He had only a few words of English and I had zero knowledge of Albanian. He spoke German fluently but mine was severely limited to remembered nouns and verbs from opera libretti.

 

By this time we had edged closer to each other, legs touching, and hands gingerly touching backs and butts – out of the visual range of the locals and tourists taking their evening strolls. He had to meet his wife soon and there wasn’t time to get back to my rented flat that evening. He was free the next evening but I had tickets to the opera (a Bartok double bill of “Bluebeard’s Castle” and “Miraculous Mandarin”). He was headed back to Germany the next morning.

 

We had clearly “clicked” on some basic, instinctual level but were denied the chance to explore our rapport physically or intellectually. Our hands and our conversation fumbled until it was time for him to leave to meet his wife. We squeezed each other’s arms and he left. Both of us wore sad smiles.

 

I did make contact with a couple of the Rumanians – one dark and charming, the other blond with movie-star good looks – over the course my visit. But I left the city a bit unsatisfied. The ones that get away are the ones that plant their hooks deeply.

[Guest MrB]

Bravo, Tri. Who cares what they call themselves, I say, while they are sucking your dick :-)

 

 

MrB