Approaching an Escort

[Guest AusTexGuy]

Thanks for answering my thread about escorts on this site and hiring an escort.

 

For another question, and this one about etiquette:

 

Is it considered rude if you see an escort our in public that you are interested in hiring, and speak to him?? Rather than calling him, or sending him an e mail, I would feel much more comfortable talking to him in a casual way before I hired him.

 

Here is the deal: I keep seeing Jon Dean around Austin, and I have been wanting to hire him, but I am not sure. I see him working out at the gym with his trainer a lot, and I saw him out at dinner with someone, and once shopping at Central Market. I would like to go up to him, and chat a bit and find out about him, but well....you have to admit, he is a bit intimidating looking. And I wasn't sure if it would be considered good form to start up a conversation under these circumstances.

 

Or is it just better to call him or send him an e mail? What is the best way to approach an escort??

 

Sorry to be so naive about this, but still learning.

[Guest jeffOH]

This question should be in the "Ask an Escort" section, but as you said, "you're naive and still learning".

 

Anyway...

 

He's an escort not a street hooker. Call him or e-mail him and avoid a potentially awkward situation.

 

What more do you need to "find out about him" other than what's in his reviews to make the decision to hire him?

 

JEFF

jeff4men@hotmail.com

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Tsk Tsk

 

Jon is very approachable but Jeff is correct. Nearly all of us on here are not street walkers, whom you could just approach. In essence, it is similar to seeing an employee from your gym whom you are on first name basis; if he is not at work, he is on his own time and the appropriate thing is to acknowledge him and go on. If he wants to engage you in conversation, that is his business. In this case, you and Jon do not have the pre-existing business relationship, so you need to establish that first.

 

You can suggest to Jon either a telephone conversation or a brief in person meeting, but you have to also understand that escorts are not "on call" 24/7 in spite of what some of the ads may say, that we have personal lives and an escort may be loathe to give you a substantial amount of time just to inquire. Many of your questions should be addressed in an initial e-mail.

 

Good luck!

[axebahia]

RE: Tsk Tsk

 

>but you have to also

>understand that escorts are not "on call" 24/7 in spite of

>what some of the ads may say

 

then why say that in your Ads?

[Guest Merlin]

Under no circumstances should you approach him when he is with another person. He probably does not tell everyone of his escort work and approaching him under those circumstances could be very embarrassing for him. Even if the other person is a client, they will not appreciate the intrusion. If he is alone and doesn't seem occupied I see no reason not to approach him discretely, but then I am not an escort.

[Rick Munroe]

I agree with everyone else. Here's a good rule of thumb (or whichever body part interests you): check the contact info in his ad. If it lists just an email address, I'd say you should email him. If it lists a phone number & email, then those are your two choices. If, however, you are given the choice of emailing, phoning, or walking up to him on the street in Austin when you see him working out at the gym with his trainer or out at dinner with someone or shopping at Central Market, then by all means go for it.

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

Why Ask Why

 

>>but you have to also

>>understand that escorts are not "on call" 24/7 in spite of

>>what some of the ads may say

>

>then why say that in your Ads?

 

Some guys (a porn star ex of mine for one) will always return a page when they get it. He did so at a rock concert, movie theaters, even during dinner. That is one of the reasons WHY he is my ex. The Twink that lists that on his web site answers them within 12 hours. To me, that is not being available 24/7.

 

I am available, for example, 24/7, WITH notice and depending on what else is going on in my life. I do not just drop everything (for example, previously schedule clients, medical appointment, plans for dinner with friends), simply because a client calls. Personally, I do try to refer a client with a particular time need to someone I think he might like based on his requests, location and time requirements. Otherwise, I try to accommodate him.

 

By the way, none of my own web site listings or the rare newspaper advertising I have done has ever implied or stated that I was available 24/7.

[Guest]

>Or is it just better to call him or send him an e mail? What

>is the best way to approach an escort??

>

 

I guess I don't quite understand why you wouldn't contact him by e-mail or by phone? Walking up to him out of the blue would have to be done fairly carefully, and it risks interfering with his privacy or perhaps startling him. Not everyone wants to talk shop in the gym. The only advantage I can think of with the "in-person" approach rather than phone or e-mail is that if you're attractive he might give you a discount or be less likely to flake one you if he's prone to that. But if that's your idea, you can accomplish almost the same thing by attaching your picture to your e-mail to him. I would just drop him an e-mail. You could just mention in the e-mail that you go to the same gym and send your picture.

[Guest AusTexGuy]

Well, today I got the courage up and walked over to Jon Dean at the gym where he was working out with a group of guys. I think it was a mistake. I walked up to him between his sets of squats,and said something like "Hey, Jon Dean, how's it going?" Boy, was he short with me. He told me "Not now buddy...later." I guess my timing was wrong, or something like that. Sorta popped my baloon. Well...that's a new learning experience. Not exactly the sorta reaction I was expecting. I thought that was pretty rude.

[Guest jeffOH]

>I thought that was pretty rude.

 

Yes, it was rude, of you! Did you bother to read any of the responses to your original question? Jon Dean's probably not his real name, so he knew you'd probably seen his pics on an escort website. He was "working out with a group of guys", not working IT!! You probably creeped him out.

 

From the sound of things, this won't be your last "new learning experience".

 

It would be different it had been a porn star and you just introduced yourself and said you enjoyed his work or something. Even that can depend upon the individual and the situation. Some escorts that I know keep their private life TOTALLY separate from

their "business" life.

 

Sorry you had to learn a lesson the hard way.

 

JEFF

jeff4men@hotmail.com

[Guest AusTexGuy]

I realize that my timing may not have been perfect, but again he is in the business of selling a service - his ass or dick. And he should be polite and courteous to every person he meets as they could be a potential client. A little humility goes a long way with me. There was no excuse for his tone of voice, and additionally he embarrassed me in front of several people by dismissing me outright. It took me a while to get the courage up to even speak to him in the first place. My brief encounter with Jon Dean showed me that he was arogant, egotistical, and just plain rude. I can't imagine how he is able to keep customers with that attitude. Jeeez! I am sure there are more escorts willing to make a buck by being polite and courteous to people. What an ass!

[Guest DevonSFescort]

>My brief encounter with Jon Dean showed me that he was arogant,

>egotistical, and just plain rude.

 

And his brief encounter with you probably "showed" him that you are inconsiderate, lack boundaries, and are just plain rude (for the reasons Jeff spelled out above). That's the problem with making snap judgements about people you don't know. You both have very little to go on, other than what you each gleaned about the other when you caught him in a bad moment. It's not fair to be too hard on him because you don't like the way he handled a situation you shouldn't have created, especially after seeking and receiving advice as to why he might not welcome your attention in public.

 

>I can't imagine how he is able to keep customers with that >attitude.

 

It might have something to do with that dick or that ass you mentioned (or, more likely, how he uses them ;-)), but it no doubt also helps that most of his clients never get to see that attitude because they don't out him in a public place.

 

>Jeeez! I am sure there are more escorts willing to make a buck by >being polite and courteous to people.

 

If I'm not mistaken he has a reputation for being polite and courteous to people in the contexts that usually count in escort/client relations. And in the big picture, the money we make from clients whose preferred method of making contact is to approach us in public doesn't add up to much more than a buck.

 

On the other hand, I do recognize and accept that we as escorts become public figures (however low-grade our "fame") when we run our first ad. I am one escort who if anything has sought and encouraged that kind of attention, and besides everyone out here in SF that knows me knows what I do. And I love running into people who tell me they read the diary, etc. You would have a better reason, IMO, to be angry with me if I reacted that way, because I really do put myself out there compared to a lot of escorts.

 

Still, I wouldn't really want to stop and answer questions about my services at the gym because I'm not big on socializing when I work out. Also I would prefer not to be approached, whether it's by present or prospective clients, if I'm with someone that you have any reason to suspect could be a client. Not for my sake, but for that of the client's comfort level; it might make them feel "exposed" in some way. And if you see me with a middle-aged, fanny-pack slinging straight couple, consider that VERY bad timing! :7

[Guest]

>Well, today I got the courage up and walked over to Jon Dean

>at the gym where he was working out with a group of guys. I

>think it was a mistake. I walked up to him between his sets

>of squats,and said something like "Hey, Jon Dean, how's it

>going?" Boy, was he short with me. He told me "Not now

>buddy...later." I guess my timing was wrong, or something

>like that. Sorta popped my baloon. Well...that's a new

>learning experience. Not exactly the sorta reaction I was

>expecting. I thought that was pretty rude.

 

Jesus Christ, could you be more clue-less? You just had several people tell you either not to approach him at all or not to approach him when he's with other people (including one person who said "Under no circumstances should you approach him when he's with other people..."). So you go and approach him when he's with a "group of guys" and call him by his escort name? Are you putting us on, or are you really a complete bozo? Even many stupid people at least have to common sense to follow the advice of wiser people! Why did you ask us our opinion in the first place?

Actually his response which left open the possibility of your contacting him later was quite generous and measured. I would have said "This is really not an appropriate place and time!". I hope that this string is a put-on, because if you're really going through life with neither intelligence nor common sense, you're in for some serious trouble.

[Uncle Bill]

This has GOT to be a put-on. No one could be this clueless.

[Flower]

[font color="green"

] I think you're right--this has to be just a put on--no one can be that TOTALLY STUPID AND CLUELESS--it's a put on.

 

I guess he was getting bored with the board :+

[Guest jwraustin]

AusTexGuy....

 

I am truly sorry if I offended you. It was not my intent to be rude to you. I'd just finished a very heavy squat, covered in chalk and sweat, and I was with my trainer and focused on what I was doing at the time. I was surprised, and taken off guard.

 

Please contact me privately so I can clear this up.

 

I think its very important in this business to be discrete. And just as I extend that courtesy to my clients, I appreciate the same from them.

 

Jon Dean

jondean@manfuck.net

512-468-9588

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jon Dean

http://www.manfuck.net

[Rick Munroe]

Wow, so it did happen. I, too, thought this was a put-on. Jon, I agree with everyone else that what he did was extremely rude, and I don't think you have anything to apologize for, but the fact that you did shows a lot about your character.

[Will]

As I was one of those who went to a lot of trouble and time to respond to this guy from Austin last week, I think I can step in here with impunity. And if I want it to get itself read, I might as well pin my donkey to Rick Munroe's tail.

 

First, I can't imagine anybody being so thoughtless, inconsiderate, and insensitive as to approach an escort in public, especially when he is in company. Don't you, AusTexGuy or whatever you call yourself, understand that escorts do not use their real names when they escort? Don't you realize that they assume another name for the sake of privacy? Because what they're doing is against the law? Because it's not their friends' business if they escort, any more than it's your friends business if you client (this is a new verb I invented over the weekend, guys: "to client")?

 

Second, if you are going to ask for everybody's advice, and then sit back while all of us give that advice, why the hell don't you take it? Everybody, clients and escorts alike, told you NOT to approach Jon directly. Why else do you think he has his contact information in his ads? He'd have been within his rights -- in my opinion -- to punch your lights out in that gym. As it was, you took the opportunity to berate him without even the most passing thought for the appropriateness of your own behavior.

 

Third, Jon -- whatever his real name is -- has now proven himself to be a gentleman. I hope you'll prove yourself to be one, too, by apologizing.

 

Over the years, this board, M4M, has helped us all develop a kind of ethic in escort/client relationships. The BOTTOM LINE of this ethic is mutual respect and common sensitivity to the social and personal boundaries that we -- escorts as well as clients -- have the right to set up around this particular area of our lives. I hope you will begin to interiorize that ethic immediately. Otherwise, you'll be a lousy client and will have exactly the kinds of experiences with escorts that lousy clients can expect.

[bluenix]

>I realize that my timing may not have been perfect, but again

>he is in the business of selling a service - his ass or dick.

>And he should be polite and courteous to every person he meets

>as they could be a potential client. A little humility goes a

>long way with me. There was no excuse for his tone of voice,

>and additionally he embarrassed me in front of several people

>by dismissing me outright. It took me a while to get the

>courage up to even speak to him in the first place. My brief

>encounter with Jon Dean showed me that he was arogant,

>egotistical, and just plain rude. I can't imagine how he is

>able to keep customers with that attitude. Jeeez! I am sure

>there are more escorts willing to make a buck by being polite

>and courteous to people. What an ass!

 

http://www.ezshots.com/members/blueman/images/blueman-101.jpg

[Barry]

I couldn't agree more Will except on one point.....

 

>any more than it's your friends business if you client (this is a

>new verb I invented over the weekend, guys: "to client")?

 

I first used the verb when I retired from "clienting" late in 2001. I have only used it in the inflected form though.

 

Barry }(

[Will]

Please excuse me, Barry! I missed your discussion of the term, and would be grateful indeed if you'd bring it up again, or tell me where I could find it. I'm not interested in the originality of the term; what interests me is the behavior and conditions it encompasses. Many thanks in advance.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

The Client from Hell.. speaks mostly the truth!!

 

AusTexGuy

 

You are a real Peach and then some. I'm not sure you are for real... maybe just plucking our strings a little. Then again...

 

>My brief

>encounter with Jon Dean showed me that he was arogant,

>egotistical, and just plain rude. I can't imagine how he is

>able to keep customers with that attitude. Jeeez! I am sure

>there are more escorts willing to make a buck by being polite

>and courteous to people. What an ass!

 

Here's my take on your post... mostly in your own words with only minor edits required.

 

 

My brief encounter with Jon Dean showed that he I was arogant, egotistical, and just plain rude. I can't imagine how he is I am able to keep customers meet escorts with that attitude. Jeeez! I am sure Aren't there are more any escorts willing to make a buck by being from impolite and discourteous to people. What I am an ass!

 

 

So AusTexGuy,I have to admit that I agree with most of your words in your paragraph above. I suspect I agree with most of the words in your entire post -- with only slight editing.

 

If you are not plucking our strings newbie client, then you are in for a bumpy ride... unless you are the type that likes to take others for the bumpy ride. Let us know of your positive experiences. We are always up for pleasant surprises.

[Rick Munroe]

RE: The Client from Hell.. speaks mostly the truth!!

 

TY, I always love to learn new things and now, because of you, I've learned how to cross things out online. Cool.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

RE: The Client from Hell.. speaks mostly the truth!!

 

Always happy to help educate a dumb whore!! Now can I teach you to fish? Oh, forget it ... just rent your ass to one of Macy's windows -- it'll triple store traffic. They still do sell meat on premises, right? Fine lace lingerie and meat to go -- now that is one-stop shopping

 

Your next lesson: Bobbing for apples on my dick. Test Friday.

 

:7

[woodlawn]

Thanks for an entertaining thread.

 

I do think it was imprudent of you to call an escort by his "escort name" when he was with other people who may not know about his occupation, but that's just my opinion. At any rate, the escort in question seems to have taken it in stride; his reaction was far more measured and mature than the reaction of several other posters who really aren't involved in this matter at all.

 

If you've been lurking here for a while, you may find it odd that some of the same posters who often criticize others for personal attacks and negative remarks on this board have made exactly the sort of remarks here for which they've criticized others in the past. For some of them it's because they only care about negative remarks directed at escorts, not clients, and in other cases it's because they simply don't like being held to the same standard of behavior they like to urge on the rest of us. If you stick around, you'll soon get used to that.

 

I had to laugh when I read various posters upbraiding you for having the nerve to ignore the advice of "wiser" people! Given the bizarre antics of which a great many posters here have accused themselves, I'd say this is the wrong place to visit if you're looking for wisdom.