Occasional hookups outside of clients, losing its appeal…

[JB_Studio38]

Leaving content creation out of the subject, lately I’ve had like 2-3 hookups over the past couple weeks. All 3 guys were hot and fun to mess with, but afterwards I found they didn’t seem interested in reconnecting, and basically ghosted off after doing the deed. There also didn’t seem to be any purpose of fucking them, except for getting off. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, but it’s more about the lack of wanting to maintain a friendship that I pick up from them afterwards. Almost like I’m just a personified dildo to them 🤣 

It’s leading me to think, random hookups becoming pointless when it’s not someone I’ve known thru friends/social networks. Some of these guys I may meet at a nightclub but sometimes it’s from apps too. Though I don’t necessarily go on apps “because I’m horny”. I’m mostly looking to see who’s in the area and potentially find a new friend or client. But so many in the gay scene these days, it’s all about the next best thing they can get ahold of. 

It does suck because I like to eye a sexy man from time to time, and I like to allow myself a day or 2 of “free time” each week to meet guys outside of clients. But the timing of hookups isn’t always convenient to the timing of client availability: and I like to avoid expending energy on a hookup, and not be able to perform for a planned or unexpected session.

 

Idk what this means or what I can do about it, but ideally I feel I may just reserve non-client sex for guys who I have a friendship or relationship with. At least with clients, even if it’s not a regular thing: there’s payment. But the idea of hooking up with someone who may not even want anything to do with me after, it’s got me feeling like my days of hooking up with “strangers” outside of clients is not fun anymore: it’s work and waste of time.
 

However it’s easier said than done because clients aren’t usually able to maintain a steady or repeat meetups, and the ones who do I often feel tend to be polyamorous. Plus, so many guys out there who are conventionally attractive, don’t pay. Plus I enjoy the cuddling, the conversations, and chats I can’t really get with clients. But so many first date hookups just feel like free appointments, unless you really know the guy/see them regularly thru friends, etc.

Any escorts/clients care to share?  

Edited February 24 by JB_Studio38

[+ FrankR]

10 minutes ago, JB_Studio38 said:

Leaving content creation out of the subject, lately I’ve had like 2-3 hookups over the past couple weeks. All 3 guys were hot and fun to mess with, but afterwards I found they didn’t seem interested in reconnecting, and basically ghosted off after doing the deed. There also didn’t seem to be any purpose of fucking them, except for getting off. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, but it’s more about the lack of concern I pick up from them afterwards.

It’s leading me to feel, random hookups outside of connected friends/social circles feels pointless nowadays. Some of these guys I may meet at a nightclub but sometimes it’s from apps too. Though I don’t necessarily go on apps “because I’m horny”. I’m mostly looking to see who’s in the area and potentially find a new client.

It does suck because I like to eye a sexy man from time to time, and I’ve allowed myself “free time” to meet guys outside of clients. But the timing of hookups isn’t always convenient to the timing of client availability: and I like to avoid expending energy on a hookup, and not be able to perform for a planned or unexpected session.

 

Idk what this means or what I can do about it, but ideally I feel I may just reserve non-client sex for guys who I have a friendship or relationship with. At least with clients, even if it’s not a regular thing: there’s payment. But the idea of hooking up with someone who may not even want anything to do with me after, it’s got me feeling like my days of hooking up with “strangers” outside of clients is coming to an end.
 

However it’s easier said than done because clients aren’t usually able to maintain a steady or repeat meetups, and the ones who do I often feel tend to be polyamorous. Plus, so many guys out there who are conventionally attractive, don’t pay. Plus I enjoy the cuddling, the conversations, and chats I can’t really get with clients. But so many first date hookups just feel like free appointments, unless you really know the guy/see them regularly thru friends, etc.

Any escorts/clients care to share?  

There is some truth to that - the “parties” and “apps” have promoted a “one time and move on to the next” culture.  You may have more luck of a repeat if it is someone that you are introduced to by a friend etc.   I too, have limited time, so I value my repeat dates and hires. It isnt too hard to read the room - if they are comfortable and stick around, I am good with that.  If not, I dont take it personally - send them a nice text message afterwards anyway.  When I am paying for their time, I understand they have to move on after time is up. 

[JB_Studio38]

2 hours ago, FrankR said:

There is some truth to that - the “parties” and “apps” have promoted a “one time and move on to the next” culture.  You may have more luck of a repeat if it is someone that you are introduced to by a friend etc.   I too, have limited time, so I value my repeat dates and hires. It isnt too hard to read the room - if they are comfortable and stick around, I am good with that.  If not, I dont take it personally - send them a nice text message afterwards anyway.  When I am paying for their time, I understand they have to move on after time is up. 

It certainly feels intentional. The guys act all interested and communicative initially, but then can’t be concerned after the fact. Like they’re afraid to even hint at wanting to be interested in a repeat or steady situation.

The other caveat is many clients tend be mostly “unavailable”. Some can rarely meet when I am looking to meet, they can only do so when they can “break away”. I don’t mind making effort to connect with clients, but so many times it seems like, “I can only meet 1 day this WHOLE month.”
 

That’s where I then get tempted to go out, and be open to meet somebody to hookup with. But I regret it if the dude turns out to be a douche 🍼 , and the cycle repeats 😮‍💨 That does happen less when it’s someone I know who knows that person, almost like there’s more accountability. 

 

Edited February 24 by JB_Studio38

[+ PhileasFogg]

On the hookup sites, I make it clear I’m looking for FWB type of situation, require a social meet first to assure mutual interest, and then we can see where it goes from there

[JB_Studio38]

6 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

On the hookup sites, I make it clear I’m looking for FWB type of situation, require a social meet first to assure mutual interest, and then we can see where it goes from there

Lately in the past week, I’ve just been focusing on client sessions. Sometimes when it’s quiet I “go out to play”, but my current area has been fairly consistent with getting sessions throughout the week even in between slow days. I don’t necessarily have to be fucking everyday.

So I won’t spilling milk 🥛 on hookups right now, unless I feel they’re trying to be part of something.