Blocked on RM but don't really care...

[Simon Suraci]

2 hours ago, Braziliancutee said:

Because when I check some future client checking my profile a lot times I text him.

Ok, I think I understand. You are being proactive by reaching out to clients you see viewing your profile. You are using the profile view alerts as a defacto checklist of people to reach out to. Every one of the people you spend time reaching out to is, in your mind a bit of wasted energy if the client doesn’t respond. You conclude from this one way interaction that the client must not be serious. I encourage you to reevaluate your approach. Let me explain.

I read mixed opinions on Company of Men about providers reaching out “cold” to prospective clients viewing their profiles. Some find the messages annoying, invasive, or unwelcome. Others find it a refreshing way to break the ice. Some are not paying attention to their message inboxes at all. A few people need a little encouragement to warm up to contacting you for real. Maybe they are shy, unsure, or less confident. In these cases it helps. But you never know who is on the other side of the screen, their temperament, or why they are there.

Others are simply window shopping. If every store clerk ran out of their store onto the street saying the customer glancing into their display should buy something, I see how that would be offputting. Not everyone is ready to buy. They are often comparing products and services before they choose to engage. Maybe they don’t have the funds right now, but shopping gives them a thrill, helps them indulge a fantasy without wasting a store clerk’s time. Maybe after the next paycheck, promotion, or period of savings they will gather the money and decide to splurge on you.

Not responding to your message doesn’t mean they are necessarily unserious. It could mean a lot of things like they are not paying attention. Or they hold the view that they are not obligated to respond to every marketing message they receive. A reasonable view, in my opinion. Or they want to hold off engaging until they actually are serious and ready to book an appointment. Lots of people looking at you are not ready to book right then and there.

I get clients who have kept an eye on me for years and only much later reach out saying something to this effect. Had I blocked them, I would certainly miss out on their business. And guess what? These clients are even more engaged and excited to see me when they actually do book. They are really good clients.

I, like you, engage in some proactive client outreach, but I am a bit more strategic about it. Instead of messaging every client that clicks on my profile, I make selections regarding who I want to spend time reaching out to. For me, I’ve found that it helps to engage with clients on something personal to them. For example, a client listing a specific kink or fantasy or type of guy or scene he is into, I will point this out saying how I would be a good match for xyz. Or that I would enjoy seeing them for some abc reason that genuinely resonates with me. These are the types of messages clients like to respond to. They feel seen, heard, and that you really care. And hopefully you do really care.

Most clients don’t fill out their profile information. So I skim over the vast majority of alerts because I can’t really personalize my message to these people. It would land as well as a cold fish to their face. And yet some of them are so polite and considerate that they respond anyway, because they feel obligated, even though they are not ready to book, or only have a slight interest. Then we both feel obliged to keep messaging out of politeness when it’s really a waste of time for both client and provider. Some clients skip this hassle altogether by choosing to not respond. I can’t blame them.

I might send more of these proactive messages when I am traveling and see interest from those places I am going. Maybe not every person that views my profile, but more particularly those I notice are repeatedly viewing my profile. It’s a hint that they are considering more seriously whether they want to hire me. Not always, but usually. I might mention I will be in their city during certain dates, thank them for checking me out, and mention I am happy to answer any questions.

Many of them never respond, and it doesn’t bother me. Some do respond, however, and it helps break the ice. A few of those people do eventually book. My reason for outreach in this case is to call attention to the limited window for them to book me while I am in their city. That is a good reason to reach out, however impersonal it may be.

My point is to be more selective about who you reach out to and why. It will cost you less time and energy narrowing down your list and not feeling the need to compose a message to every profile viewer. Spending less of your energy leads to less resentment, and you have more energy to respond to the “hot” messages you receive, from potentially more serious, ready-to-book-soon clients. The longer you work this business, the easier it is to skim past the alerts and filter them mentally. Some of us turn off the alerts because we don’t want to spend the time or energy sifting through them. I do, but it is work, and not everyone wants to spend the energy.

It’s not a binary. People are complicated. They don’t all fall into strict ‘serious’ and ‘unserious’ client categories. And it doesn’t really benefit you to put them into those categories and then block whoever you assume is unserious based on something as benign as a non-response.

Does any of this make sense?
I hope it helps you. I want my fellow providers to succeed. These are just my opinions and you don’t need to take it as gospel, but it is intended to help guys like you reading this. Clients here have shared a lot of wisdom. I hope you take it to heart, for your own sake, to improve your business.

[Braziliancutee]

1 hour ago, Simon Suraci said:

Ok, I think I understand. You are being proactive by reaching out to clients you see viewing your profile. You are using the profile view alerts as a defacto checklist of people to reach out to. Every one of the people you spend time reaching out to is, in your mind a bit of wasted energy if the client doesn’t respond. You conclude from this one way interaction that the client must not be serious. I encourage you to reevaluate your approach. Let me explain.

I read mixed opinions on Company of Men about providers reaching out “cold” to prospective clients viewing their profiles. Some find the messages annoying, invasive, or unwelcome. Others find it a refreshing way to break the ice. Some are not paying attention to their message inboxes at all. A few people need a little encouragement to warm up to contacting you for real. Maybe they are shy, unsure, or less confident. In these cases it helps. But you never know who is on the other side of the screen, their temperament, or why they are there.

Others are simply window shopping. If every store clerk ran out of their store onto the street saying the customer glancing into their display should buy something, I see how that would be offputting. Not everyone is ready to buy. They are often comparing products and services before they choose to engage. Maybe they don’t have the funds right now, but shopping gives them a thrill, helps them indulge a fantasy without wasting a store clerk’s time. Maybe after the next paycheck, promotion, or period of savings they will gather the money and decide to splurge on you.

Not responding to your message doesn’t mean they are necessarily unserious. It could mean a lot of things like they are not paying attention. Or they hold the view that they are not obligated to respond to every marketing message they receive. A reasonable view, in my opinion. Or they want to hold off engaging until they actually are serious and ready to book an appointment. Lots of people looking at you are not ready to book right then and there.

I get clients who have kept an eye on me for years and only much later reach out saying something to this effect. Had I blocked them, I would certainly miss out on their business. And guess what? These clients are even more engaged and excited to see me when they actually do book. They are really good clients.

I, like you, engage in some proactive client outreach, but I am a bit more strategic about it. Instead of messaging every client that clicks on my profile, I make selections regarding who I want to spend time reaching out to. For me, I’ve found that it helps to engage with clients on something personal to them. For example, a client listing a specific kink or fantasy or type of guy or scene he is into, I will point this out saying how I would be a good match for xyz. Or that I would enjoy seeing them for some abc reason that genuinely resonates with me. These are the types of messages clients like to respond to. They feel seen, heard, and that you really care. And hopefully you do really care.

Most clients don’t fill out their profile information. So I skim over the vast majority of alerts because I can’t really personalize my message to these people. It would land as well as a cold fish to their face. And yet some of them are so polite and considerate that they respond anyway, because they feel obligated, even though they are not ready to book, or only have a slight interest. Then we both feel obliged to keep messaging out of politeness when it’s really a waste of time for both client and provider. Some clients skip this hassle altogether by choosing to not respond. I can’t blame them.

I might send more of these proactive messages when I am traveling and see interest from those places I am going. Maybe not every person that views my profile, but more particularly those I notice are repeatedly viewing my profile. It’s a hint that they are considering more seriously whether they want to hire me. Not always, but usually. I might mention I will be in their city during certain dates, thank them for checking me out, and mention I am happy to answer any questions.

Many of them never respond, and it doesn’t bother me. Some do respond, however, and it helps break the ice. A few of those people do eventually book. My reason for outreach in this case is to call attention to the limited window for them to book me while I am in their city. That is a good reason to reach out, however impersonal it may be.

My point is to be more selective about who you reach out to and why. It will cost you less time and energy narrowing down your list and not feeling the need to compose a message to every profile viewer. Spending less of your energy leads to less resentment, and you have more energy to respond to the “hot” messages you receive, from potentially more serious, ready-to-book-soon clients. The longer you work this business, the easier it is to skim past the alerts and filter them mentally. Some of us turn off the alerts because we don’t want to spend the time or energy sifting through them. I do, but it is work, and not everyone wants to spend the energy.

It’s not a binary. People are complicated. They don’t all fall into strict ‘serious’ and ‘unserious’ client categories. And it doesn’t really benefit you to put them into those categories and then block whoever you assume is unserious based on something as benign as a non-response.

Does any of this make sense?
I hope it helps you. I want my fellow providers to succeed. These are just my opinions and you don’t need to take it as gospel, but it is intended to help guys like you reading this. Clients here have shared a lot of wisdom. I hope you take it to heart, for your own sake, to improve your business.

Thanks for the advice!! ☺️