Why and how often do you hire escorts?

[Guest Kevin 2]

Curiosity has got the best of me and I was wondering why do you guys hire escorts? Don't take this question the wrong way I hire myself. Just was wondering why and how often others do?

[guyinsf]

To have sex with someone I find incredibly handsome. I also enjoy just spending time with the escort I frequently hire for over-nighters, but I know I wouldn't be hiring him if we were only eating dinner and talking.

[marc anthony]

I agree with guyinsf that all things are fun when hiring an escort... the dinner, the companionship, the outings... but fulfilling sexual needs with someone who you find extremely cute and hot is the best part. I don't agree that I wouldn't hire them if there were no sex involved, but I do agree that I certainly wouldn't pay the same rate!

 

I also live a closeted, fairly high profile lifestyle. So my escort hiring is limited to my travels. I usually travel 4-5 times per year to a few different cities each time. I try to find at least on boy in each port! That means about 20-40 hires per year, although many of those are the same boys (I have certain favorites who I visit on every trip). I find that a mixture of having favorites in a city for repeat hires, and occasionally sampling a new boy brings the best mixture of intimacy, companionship, friendship on the one hand and mystery, excitement, and intrigue on the other.

 

But I guess the bottom line answer to your question of why do I hire escorts is that I enjoy it, and I can afford it.

[mmk]

The kind of escort that I usually hire is someone who has a very nice, defined body (well hung is a plus but not neccessary) and who can just satisfy some fantasy fullfillment. I do not wish to hire an escort for dinner, date ,etc. (Now if I became friends with an escort and got a call from him and he asked if I wanted to get a bite to eat, that would be fine.) I am just looking for a hot erotic time with someone an exceptionaly well built guy. That isn't to say that I could not find it by going out to the bar but the whole cat and mouse chase game is just too annoying. By being able to call an escort you know what you are going to get without the game playing (Plus you do not have that nasty cigarette odor on you when you leave the bar either.)

[Will]

The first time I hired an escort was for therapy, pure and simple. After several years, I had found that I could not get past the termination of what was and still is the most important relationship of my life. No matter what I did, I couldn't seem to shake off the shroud of sadness that was choking me, despite really first-rate psychotherapy and psychiatric care. Finally, it started to bother me a great deal that my former partner was the last man with whom I had had sex. I am no spring chicken, and the circumstances of my life make it highly unlikely that I will meet a potential bf in my day-to-day world. I resolved, frankly, that I was not going to allow myself to live any longer with the fact that M was the last man I had slept with.

 

So I decided to hire an escort, if for no other reason than to "erase" the haptic memory of M's body. I'm not sure that the date was entirely successful in that way, but it was more than successful in other ways. Most important, the experience taught me that I was not, after all, dead from the neck down, as the years of depression and libido-suppressing medicines had convinced me that I was.

 

I tried a second time, with pleasant but not spectacular results, using Escorts4you.com. However, that second try helped get me past the overwhelming sense of physical/sexual inadequacy that the end of my relationship with M had brought on. Together with the realization that my libido, although seriously compromised by medications, was still alive and even capable of being awakened, my new sense of sexual adequacy made me determine to try yet a third time.

 

By the third time, I had found this web site. I used it fully and with unbelievably great results, because it took me to Rick Munroe. There have been other escorts as well as Rick, but I'll never, ever, stop being grateful to him and to M4M for bringing me back from what felt like death in life.

 

Now, I hire escorts because I like to. It's good for me to have sex -- healthy, I mean. After I've been with an escort, I feel better, more energetic, and more cheerful than I did before. Because my battery is never exactly fully charged even on a good day, I don't seek out escorts all that often. It's always exciting when I do feel like it, because I actually like escorts very much. I enjoy being with them, talking and laughing with them, sharing life experiences. I have discovered that something about the escorts I have known gives me a new sense of respect and admiration for gay men.

 

When I do seek an escort, I use this site, and I'm always glad. In fact, thanks to M4M I've found an escort close enough to where I live so that I can see him as often as once a month. That wouldn't be possible with the men in New York, Rick Munroe and Gino Mancuso, who enriched my life in ways I doubt I could communicate to them or, for that matter, to anyone else. They will always have a special place in my heart.

 

For me, sex is fun. But it's also serious business, because it's about life and health -- physical, spiritual and emotional.

[Guest JD]

I've been in long-term relationships before but always felt smoothered. I've come to grips with the fact that I'm much more comfortable without a live-in lover. Besides, I'm a terrible person to live with and don't easily form intimate relationships.

 

For me it is much easier (and pleasurable) to hire an escort rather than deal with the all the negative issues I see with committed relationships. I've been very luck to find quality escorts who treat me with respect and more than meet my sexual needs.

 

I've found my times with escorts much more fulfilling and less personally stressful than a lover.

 

I usually have sessions with my favorites every 4-6 weeks (depending on my finances).

 

JD

[Guest happyday]

I am in my 50's, gay, and in the closet. Two years ago I felt like I was suffocating and decided to crack the closet door a bit. I started hiring escorts and have probably seen approx 15 over the two year period. With one exception they have all been gentlemen. I see escorts because as a gay man I am lonely and sexually starved. The companionship and sex are mutually important to me. Seeing escorts is therapy for me and it is also my reality check. Would I hire an escort if there was no sex involved? For sure not --- but I also would not hire an escort if all I was getting was a piece of meat.

I am fortunate in that I can afford to see an escort every 2 to 3 weeks. I see new escorts from time to time but also have my favorites.

[Losgatan]

Those of you who have been around here for a while already know my story. But I’ll hazard a brief repeat for the newer folk.

 

My lover and I have been in a committed relationship for 41 years. However, he’s now 75 and no longer able perform sexually. Even walking more than a block has become a major struggle. Because of this, we agreed a few years back that I could seek companionship outside of our relationship so long as I never talk about it or bring my friends to our home.

 

At 62, I miss the wonderful times I and my lover had when we were younger. Traveling to a new city; enjoying the theater, opera; and fine restaurants; hot sex on a big bed in a first-class hotel. So that’s the fantasy I try to recreate when hiring an escort. I want to connect with the person fully, as both a companion and a sexual partner. I want to be with someone whom I genuinely respect – and who genuinely respects me. I don’t want another lover.

 

Fortunately, I’ve been able to find an escort in San Francisco who fits the bill perfectly. We get together every 6 to 8 weeks, always for an extended appointment which includes dinner and entertainment. We have traveled to Vegas together and are now planning a 4-day trip to Philly next month. He fills my needs completely and I have no desire to experiment with someone new. (We have had a couple of 3-ways with other escorts and probably will set up more in the future.)

 

I know that this is very different from what others may seek from an escort – but it sure works for me.

[Guest Kevin 2]

"My lover and I have been in a committed relationship for 41 years"

 

WOW that speaks volumes about the two of you. I am sadden to hear that he can no longer perform but I'm sure you guys still have way more than most of us will ever have in our lives. Thanks for sharing you "brief" story with us again for those that didn't catch it the first go around ;-)

[Losgatan]

Kevin,

 

Your kind words have got me thinking about something I should have realized a long time ago: why my experiences with escorts seem so different from those of some others here.

 

Having been a relationship for so long, I know the pleasures of simple, non-sexual intimacy with another man. And, I’ve learned how to achieve that intimacy through all the little things that make a relationship work – sensing the other’s guys moods; giving him “space” when he needs it; being close when he needs it; how to share happiness, excitement, pain or disappointment; how to trust and be trustworthy; how to give and accept affection.

 

I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that these “lessons” automatically carry over into my relationships with escorts. My expectations, my behavior, and, ultimately, the satisfaction that I receive are all conditioned by my personal history.

 

I can only imagine how different things would be if I had come out late and never had a long-term relationship. Would I feel compelled “to make up for lost time” through frequent and intense sexual encounters? Would I find it difficult to establish emotional and intellectual rapport with my partners? Would I become wary and mistrustful of my partner’s motives?

 

Almost certainly: yes, yes, yes.

 

And, yes, I have been very lucky.

[Guest WetDream]

"...why my experiences with escorts seem so different from those of some others here."

 

Also, Losgatan, don't you think that one often gets what one expects? Expect a bad experience and you probably will get one.

[Guest Kevin 2]

"Having been a relationship for so long, I know the pleasures of simple, non-sexual intimacy with another man. And, I’ve learned how to achieve that intimacy through all the little things that make a relationship work – sensing the other’s guys moods; giving him “space” when he needs it; being close when he needs it; how to share happiness, excitement, pain or disappointment; how to trust and be trustworthy; how to give and accept affection."

 

Where can I find a MAN with all your excellent qualities and him be around 30 like me?? ;-)

 

Seriously, I wish you continued happiness for many years to come. :-)

[Guest Joey Ciccone]

>Seriously, I wish you continued happiness for many years to come.<

 

Me too, Los. You're awesome.

[Laurent]

I generally hire escorts when I travel whether for business or pleasure. If my state had escorts comparable to those in Chicago, Philadelphia, or Los Angeles, I would hire much more fequently. Why do I hire? It saves lots of time, keeps me from driving after drinking, and virtually assures me of an evening's ending with sex.

[ready182]

Sorta like going to a restaurant

 

You can decide when you want to go.

 

If you are careful about picking the restaurant, you can order what you like, and usually will get it.

 

You can spend as much/little time as you like.

 

At the end of the meal, you pay & leave, and the restaurant never complains if you don't come back.

[CT Dick]

RE: Sorta like going to a restaurant

 

Well said.

 

Dick

[Guest Kevin 2]

RE: Sorta like going to a restaurant

 

Ready I love the analogy ;-)

[+ Charlie]

I understand every point that LosGatan makes, because I am in the same sort of longterm relationship (since before Stonewall). For that reason, I prefer to hire escorts when I am horny, since they are easy to arrange and don't have any emotional expectations. I do it when it is convenient and as often as I can afford it, which is usually when I am travelling and about ten times per year. After more than twenty years of hiring, I find that I am slowly tapering off, and I expect to stop somewhere between age 75 and 80, when I will probably be content to just read the message board and give avuncular advice.

[Guest EWC]

I seem to live in a world, and am the type of person that spends most of my time in service to others. (Kids, clients, friends, etc.) I enjoy those relationships and am happy to be of service, but periodically its delightful to get a massage or engage an escort where most of the focus is on being of service to me (or should I say my being serviced? I second all of the points on the restaurant.) It's a nice balance. The how often is usually how frequently my schedule allows, rarely once a week, and more commonly a couple of times per month.

[Guest Viewmaster]

So much eloquence here. I'm afraid my response is much more basic. I hire for convenient sex, and I do it when the mood strikes and my hectic life provides the time. It's that simple.

[Guest jeffOH]

I'm somewhat of a binger, so it could be twice in one day or

4 times in one week and then nothing for a month. So far this year, I've hired 3 escorts a combined total of 30 times.

For me it's a matter of convenience and knowing I WILL be satisfied. 99.99% of the sex I have is either with a client or an escort I've hired.

 

Jeff4hire@aol.com

[Guest DavidofNYC]

This weekend I plan to hire once....for companionship, of course! It would help if he was cuddly, affectionate,passionate, soft and smooth....hehe.

[Guest Steve]

I like having sex with guys that I consider to be unattainable: Extremely HOT, well-built and hung men. I started out as a curiousity seeker looking to fulfill a fantasy and it was only a couple of times a year. Now, I have come to really enjoy the sex and have been with some very hot men over the years and have met 6 guys who have done porn or are now doing it. I've travelled to NYC, Miami, Chicago, Akron and Columbus, Ohio to meet with escorts. I've also met with a couple in Pittsburgh (where I live) that have come to town to perform at one of the bars. Sometimes it is frequent as in this year, I met with Excellent-Top in Jaunary and then Jason Branch in Pittsburgh in Februrary. Went a few months before hooking up with studly Michael in Columbus in May. In July, I travelled to Akron to meet with Michael Brandon and a few weeks ago hooked up with Chris Steele here in Pittsburgh. For me it varies. I have a secondary income that tends to be used for escort fees. I work hard, so I may as well enjoy it.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Losgatan,

 

I can only imagine how different things would be if I had come out late and never had a long-term relationship. Would I feel compelled 3to make up for lost time2 through frequent and intense sexual encounters? Would I find it difficult to establish emotional and intellectual rapport with my partners? Would I become wary and mistrustful of my partner1s motives?

 

Almost certainly: yes, yes, yes.

 

On this one point I must disagree... I know of one counterexample anyway.

[Guest Guy]

I started hiring escorts about 3 years before my lover of 29 years passed away. We had mutually agreed that I needed the companionship and someone that could fill my sexual needs, something that he was no longer able to do due to his illness, as long as it was never brought up for discussion.

As life would have it, I met this great guy I have been seeing now for four years that fulfills all my sexual and emotional needs but that unfortunately is socially unavailable to me. He is married and does not want to be seen with me out on the town. I realize that this is selfish of him, especially since I am a very straight looking and acting gay man, but I have to respect his discreteness and I really care for him.

As a consequence of this unfortunate situation, I started using the services of escorts primarily as companions to the theatre, the opera, restaurants, and other social functions.

Now I normally hire about twice a month and when I travel. I have met some wonderful young men in the last 3 years, and I can see my relationship with my married friend starting to fade away.

I will probably put an end to it fairly soon, since it is not a healthy relationship and I have met some wonderful escorts.

 

GUY.