"Red Flags" when communicating with an escort

[Guest man2man4u40]

As an escort, I've had a couple of my recent clients relating to me some less than satisfactory times they've had with other escorts they had previously contacted/employed. They both commented that they "should have seen it coming" or "in hindsight...". So I thought I'd post this question to the "experts" who participate in this forum so your collected knowledge can help each other in hiring a quality escort.

 

What is a "red flag" for you when contacting/hiring an escort? What traps/pitfalls have you fallen into that you could warn others about, especially clients new to hiring escorts?

[Losgatan]

>What is a "red flag" for

>you when contacting/hiring an escort?

 

Some of the things on my list:

 

 Escorts who don’t respond to emails.

 Escorts who refuse my invitation to get acquainted by phone before meeting.

 Escorts who won’t supply a face pic before meeting.

 Escorts who are vague about their fees or charge “á la carte.”

 Escorts who demand full or partial payment in advance.

 Escorts who come across as flaky or immature – whatever their age.

 Escorts who won’t commit to a firm date several weeks in advance.

 Escorts who admit to being “chemical friendly.”

 Escorts who are willing (or even eager) to engage in unprotected sex.

 Escorts who haven’t been reviewed here.

 Escorts who can’t handle a negative review (or negative comment on the message board).

 Escorts who seem unwilling or unable to relate to their clients as people.

[+ deej]

Bad reviews on this site: BIG RED FLAG

 

No reviews on this site: YELLOW FLAG (caution warranted)

 

Good reviews on this site: GREEN FLAG (all systems go)

 

Great reviews on this site, and a participant in the Message Center: CHECKERED FLAG! A WINNER!

 

:-)

 

It may sound facetious, but every guy I've hired in the last year has been from the Checkered Flag category. (OK, one was just a Green Flag.) Every one of them has been marvelous.

[Guest cp8036]

Based on my experience:

 

Ones with no face pics. Yes, I agree about being discreet. A client has just a much, if not more, to loose in being outed. But, if you know is a serious client, he will see your face and the rest of you. So eventually you will be exposed. If an in-call he will even see your residence.

 

Guys that have pics that have special effects, blurring, over-lays, used in the name of being artsy. Usually is touched up, enhancing the guy's looks.

 

Guys that won't take time for a quick phone call before to just exchange a few words. Can tell lots by a voice.

 

Guys who don't have a cell phone. Or email. How can this be? It is the 00's...

 

Guys who quickly change their normal rates before meeting.. either up or down. If I was not interested, and he counters with a lower rate, makes me wonder why the "fire sale".

 

Guys that are too young... less than 21 yrs old. Yes, the twinks are cute, but most just are not that equipped to interact with men 20 years older. Because of education, experience, or income is hard to relate. Late 20's seems to be best age group to me, youthful looks, energy, but have some education and/or life experience by that stage.

[Guest spendlove]

I have found that a positive review on this site is helpful in weeding out the worst types, but that is all. I have hired a couple of escorts with reviews praising their looks who in my opinion were quite ordinary looking. I recently hired an escort with a review praising him for being punctual who showed up more than an hour late for our appointment.

 

As far as red flags are concerned, I would not hire an escort from this site or any other who does not provide a body shot for prospective clients. Escorts who have day jobs may not wish to provide a face shot, so that is not a dealbreaker in my view. I expect an escort to respond to emails promptly (within 24 hours), to be willing to answer any questions a prospective client has by email, and to talk at least briefly on the phone before an appointment.

[Guest TFNH]

>that they "should have seen

>it coming" or "in hindsight...".

 

I can only relate to this by giving an example. I "should have seen it coming" because the initial phone conversation was brief, and my efforts to talk with the escort about my expectations were consistently met by interruptions, at which point the conversation quickly went back to what turned out to be the escorts favorite subject - himself. Not exactly the best way to find out about a client and ensure good service.

[N.N.]

A goodly number of reviews here have included a statement to the effect of "he asked for the money in advance, and I wished I'd trusted my instincts and stopped at that point".

 

I'd add that any kind of hard-sell tactics from an agency or an escort are a big red flag for me. A professional will simply give accurate information and let the client decide.

 

I pay more attention to bad reviews here than good ones. I've been with escorts who had the most glowing reviews on this site, but who weren't interesting to me.

[Guest JD]

I totally agree that M4M reviews are invaluable but not infallible.

 

I contacted someone from this site with 14 positive reviews and no negatives. I tried for a month via e-mail to set up an appointment. He finally suggested a date 3 weeks in the future and I confirmed by e-mail. Heard nothing else from him and I called him 2 days prior to reconfirm. He had "forgotten" and tried to schedule.

 

I've since learned from this message board that he doesn't do "full figured" (fat) clients. Wish he had just said that up front rather than stringing me along. (Yes, I told him I was overweight when trying to book an appointment.)

 

I fully agree with Logstan that the message board can be just as valuable as the reviews.

 

Also took a chance on a guy with NO reviews on this site. He was fantastic!! But here is what he did right:

 

1. Quick response to e-mail.

2. Full face pix on another site.

3. Willing provided cellular phone number and asked me to call him before setting a date.

4. Engaging phone conversation but no too long (about 5 minutes)

5. Confirmed by e-mail and phone the day of the appointment.

 

If the escort doesn't look, talk, act, and correspond as a professional, then you'll probably be disappointed.

 

JD

[marc anthony]

I agree with almost everything that has been written here so far. Here are a few things that I don't agree with:

 

1) The escort should be over 21... Not always true. Being a twink lover, I would be in bad shape if you couldn't hire the 18-21 cuties. What they lack in experience and education, they often make up for in enthusiasm and willingness to learn. You just have to be selective.

 

2) All escorts should have been reviewed here... Good advice, but (and this is especially true of twink lovers who often have to hire novices to get young ones) SOMEONE has to be the first reviewer of an undiscovered gem. I usually hire previously reviewed escorts, but sometimes hire unknown quantities if they are especially appealing to me. Before I do this, however, it is a MUST that I have both online conversations and phone conversations with them on several occassions to make sure they seem reliable and compatible with me. Some of my absolutely BEST experiences have been with "rookies" that have passed my personal screening.

[Guest bluboy]

My red flag is "too quick to close the sale" ..so you want me to come over right now..it is almost pressured. Stay away from this.

blu

[Will]

All of the above, plus:

 

1. When replying to an e-mail that had specific questions, the escort ignores them;

 

2. When replying to questions, either via e-mail or on the phone, the escort simply repeats what he thinks I want to hear (which is "yes" to a question that he thinks you think "yes" to, etc.).

 

3. HUGE RED FLAG NUMBER 1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! An escort who says that he "doesn't have time" to read reviews on this site.

 

4. HUGE RED FLAG NUMBER 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! An escort who is clearly not interested in anything about me, my life, my interests, my concerns.

[Traveller]

>My red flag is "too quick

>to close the sale" ..so

>you want me to come

>over right now..it is almost

>pressured. Stay away from this.

>

 

This is obviously a big one. Always results in less than advertised.

 

Demanding payment up front is obvious too. Discussed many times. Guaranteed loser.

 

Reviews on this site are good for statistics and bad reviews. Everything else should be taken with a grain of salt. I get more from the message board from guys with proven track records and tastes similar to mine.

 

If you don't talk to him by phone prior to meeting, you get what you deserve. This is just dumb. As other have said, you can tell a lot with a phone conversation.

 

If he doesn't respond to an email within a reasonable time, why would you continue?

 

Without at least a body shot pic, it's dealer's choice. You have nothing to judge against, and hence slam the door politely, when either Baby Huey or a crack head comes to the door. Face pics may be unavailable because of day job, etc., but demand the right to turn away at the door if not as described.

 

Finally, again obviously, do a quick check at the door. Is he fucked up, do his eyes dart back and forth continuously, does he have a colostomy bag, does he have a black eye, is he packing a weapon. Common sense people, common sense.

 

Later.

[+ deej]

Demanding payment up front is obvious too. Discussed many times. Guaranteed loser.

 

I have to qualify this. It's a bad sign with an unknown escort, but many well-respected escorts ask for the money up front to protect themselves from being stiffed.

 

Michael Vincenzo is one good example. He told me a story of a client that stiffed him not only for his (weekend) fee, but for the hotel charges as well. And it was not a first time client! He now asks for the money right at the start.

 

Asking for payment up front is not a red flag in and of itself, but it can be in combination with other issues.

[Traveller]

>Asking for payment up front is

>not a red flag in

>and of itself, but it

>can be in combination with

>other issues.

 

 

Wrong-o, buck-o. I learned early. I found that almost 100% of the time, when an escort demanded payment up front (and I gave it to them), there were major performance issues later on. And since I'm generally not looking for a hole to plug, this is a big non-starter. If the escort is hot enough, I'll tell them that I'll take the money out to show them that it's there. If they go for that, the sesh is fine. If they don't, I figure they're just out to hustle and show them the door. NEVER GIVE MONEY UP FRONT.

 

Later.

[Guest spendlove]

> I found that almost

>100% of the time, when

>an escort demanded payment up

>front (and I gave it

>to them), there were major

>performance issues later on.

>And since I'm generally not

>looking for a hole to

>plug, this is a big

>non-starter. If the escort

>is hot enough, I'll tell

>them that I'll take the

>money out to show them

>that it's there. If

>they go for that, the

>sesh is fine. If

>they don't, I figure they're

>just out to hustle and

>show them the door.

>NEVER GIVE MONEY UP FRONT.

>

 

You are absolutely right. On the couple of occasions when I was asked to pay up front there were problems later, so I stopped doing that. I switched to a policy of pre-empting the issue with escorts who had never seen me before by offering to pay a small percentage up front, but they invariably responded by saying they didn't need anything up front so now I no longer even ask.

[+ deej]

>Wrong-o, buck-o. I learned early.

> I found that almost

>100% of the time, when

>an escort demanded payment up

>front (and I gave it

>to them), there were major

>performance issues later on.

>And since I'm generally not

>looking for a hole to

>plug, this is a big

>non-starter. If the escort

>is hot enough, I'll tell

>them that I'll take the

>money out to show them

>that it's there. If

>they go for that, the

>sesh is fine. If

>they don't, I figure they're

>just out to hustle and

>show them the door.

>NEVER GIVE MONEY UP FRONT.

 

I still say that with established escorts with a good reputation, I have no problem giving them the money up front. With a "new" escort, without a reputation, I'll agree with you. But I rarely hire those guys. Your rule is an over-generalization.

 

If it eases his mind and allows him to concentrate on ME instead of worrying whether he'll get paid, I don't have a problem with it. But as I said, that only applies to escorts of repute.

 

If Rick Munroe asks me for the money up front (I'm not saying he does this) I'll hand it to him with one hand and reach for his belt buckle with the other. :9

[Guest Kevin 2]

<Michael Vincenzo is one good example. He told me a story of a client that stiffed him not only for his (weekend) fee, but for the hotel charges as well. And it was not a first time client! He now asks for the money right at the start.>

Deej is correct Michael does ask to "SEE" the money upfront. He however quickly stated that he will get it later. I agree with You that this is a BIG RED FLAG normally...with only a few exceptions. Michael and a few others on this board are the only exceptions to that rule atleast for me. ;-)

[Traveller]

> Deej is correct Michael does

>ask to "SEE" the money

>upfront. He however quickly stated

>that he will get it

>later. I agree with You

>that this is a BIG

>RED FLAG normally...with only a

>few exceptions.

 

I have no problem, as I stated above, with having an escort see the cash. They will not touch it, however, until I'm touched in that special way. NO EXCEPTIONS.

 

Later

 

PS. Hell, I showed the door to AussieHorseCock, and I really wanted his dick, because I don't bend on this requirement.

[Guest alanm]

RE: "Red Flags" and Billy Brandt

 

Sometimes there are red flags all over the place, yet it turns out to be a once in a life time experience. Last fall I tried to hire porn star Billy Brandt through Boys Next Door in Denver.

Billy lived close by so BND had Billy contact me for directions.

We had a great 45 minute conversation, but he wanted to be paid in cash not credit card. I tried to work it out with BND, but 15 phone calls later I never got by the answering machine. The next night Billy called me three times for more directions. He finally

showed up with a group of friends whom he sent to a local bar.

All the red flags one could possibly ask for, except that Billy is a great guy and the sex was sensational.

[Guest cp8036]

<1. When replying to an e-mail that had specific questions, the escort ignores them>

 

Right on the money, Will.

 

I send a quick email (lots shorter than this post) with four or five points, and he only addresses one or two. I know these guys may receive lots of mail. But, he should be able to sort through the crap, and take time for the solid leads.

 

One guy answered, but barely addressed one question. I didn't even bother trying to reach him again. Four days later he sent an email and asked if I received his past email, and am I still interested, why haven't I responded.

 

I went back and said "cuz, you didn't respond to even one question that I posed". Then he said, "what else do you want to know about me, what are the questions"? Forget it...

 

If he cannot address questions with simple emails, doubt he will be able to communicate when we are face to face in the hotel room, horny and nervous.

 

One escort I befriended was foreign born, young, sweet, and just opening shop. While he spoke English well, his read/writing were bit remiss. I read some of the nasty replies he received from prospects. Most complained that he cannnot write well, and failed to address all their issues. First, these guys are either assholes or just stupid. If they contact a very ethnic looking younger escort, there is a chance, not necesarily a must, that he has a different level of English than they do. Cut the guy some slack, so what if he misuses "their" and "there".

 

Together we wrote a long stock reply to send to inquiries. Most ask the same things. He cuts and pastes as needed, revises a line or two. While may not get all points all the time, he at least send a reply that is comprehensive and appears to be personal. He saves a lot of time as well.

[guyinsf]

One red flag for me that I was just reminded of again on AOL: Alleged escorts who require the client to send their picture before they will return theirs. I have stupidly done this a couple of times in the past and got no picture in response, leading me to believe that it was someone online just trying to collect pictures of guys interested in hiring escorts.

 

I have no problem sending a picture to an escort after I see his and after we've chatted enough to know that I would like to hire him, but never again will I send a picture first (or even prior to deciding that I am seriously interested in the escort).

[Guest bluboy]

Hey Traveller

 

Who is aussiehorsecock? I want to meat him and pay upfront. blu

[Traveller]

>Hey Traveller

>

>Who is aussiehorsecock? I want to

>meat him and pay upfront.

>blu

 

Blu

 

I gotta love ya. Look under rentboy.com in New York under Jason. He's only in NYC until Aug 24 (normally in London). You've got 2 days tiger. He's reviewed here as Jason #3 in Britain. He doesn't kiss (which was the proverbial nail). He's got his own website which shows more pics of that massive piece, but I can't remember it. Have fun.

 

Later.

[marc anthony]

RE: "Red Flags" and Billy Brandt

 

not to mention Billy asked for money up front with me... and we had the greatest time! He talked a big show in the beginning, but he was really a nice kid and very hot in bed!

[Guest DickHo]

>Look under rentboy.com in New York under Jason.

 

I had him last year. He didn't ask me for the money up front but I know why he does now: he doesn't do anything! He can't get hard, he doesn't kiss, he doesn't fuck, etc.

 

Stay away from him...complete looser. If you want a big Auzzie dick, try AuzzieTravis (unfortunately, too short for Traveller).

 

Red flag for me: anyone that claims their dick is over 10", unless Traveller has had him.