how do you accept rejection?

[Guest dallas]

A long time ago, I read a posting regarding someone who hires escorts hoping that one will end up as his boyfriend. I'm trying to find it to see what were the advises given to him.

 

I'm in a similar situation but I am single. Last January, I moved to Toronto. To make the long story short, in one of my visits to Remingtons I met a very attractive dancer and we went to my house for a private show. I've been booking him for a private show since then. I have started to fall in love with him and have told him about my feelings.

 

He wasn't surprise at all. He just told me that everything for him is just a job and that he is straight. He goes with anyone who has money whether the customer is young or old. I mentioned to him that any guy who does other guy is not straight. He then explained to me that money does crazy things to people.

 

I am now moving on but It's just so hard to heal a broken heart. I just wanna know how you guys dealth with it.

[HooBoy]

Man, your escort friend is being honest with you and you are not being honest with yourself. He wants your money and you have to get that through your head. It doesn't mean over a period of time he'll actually enjoy you - especially because you're a repeat customer, but don't delude yourself into thinking that the glass slipper will ever fit.

 

HooBoy

[Guest Shooter]

dallas- I hope you do better about keeping things in perspective in future relationships. The letdown is enough to kill you when reality strikes. I was so fearful of falling in love with my escort. I consider him a friend but protect this heart like it's gold so asked him to make sure I keep our relationship in perspective. I had never been 'in love' before and wouldn't know it'til it floored me. I think I am now and it's mutual. The high is outstanding! And I hope you have it some day. You may also be fortunate enough to, through mere happenstance as I have, develop some 'friendships' from this site. Just remember not to concentrate on one goal at the exclusion of all other options. Maybe this guy could have been a great friend to you if you'd have started there? Of course, if it was lust or infatuation, you don't have much control over that. Instead, it's a heartache and you've probably lost out in more ways than one!

 

Anyway, best of luck and don't get too focused on one goal in a relationship. Shooter :-)

[Guest Monopolizer]

Love only those who can love you back

 

If there is one lesson I've learned about love it is that it is so not worth it to love someone who cannot love you back. Don't go there.... You will end up depressed, sad, and your heart will be smashed.

 

The good news is that your heart will mend. And there are a lot of people that really want to love you in return. It is possible to find someone who will love you as much as you love them.

 

Good luck.

[Guest Ernie]

How do I accept it? Badly! But things do improve and you will feel better. I found it helpful to just take a rest from the whole business. Read a book, take up running, volunteer. Than when its time to junp back in, stay away from prostitutes -- these boys are great candy but an entire meal is not good for you. Good Luck

[Casteran]

LAST EDITED ON Apr-15-00 AT 06:18PM (CST)[p]After having two "relationships" with escorts or should I say sugar daddy "relationships", remember they have a profession and that is money for their time. I have been far too quiet on these postings. I can feel for your emotions, unfortunately "Pretty Woman" was just a movie.

[Guest luha]

Just be glad youhave a heart that loves.

[Bilbo]

On a slightly unrelated note (you know my big mouth), clients please remember that escorts deal with rejection all the time and find it a lot easier than dealing with being strung along, intentionally or not. It's like pulling off a bandaid quickly or jumping into the cold water. So, please, if someone doesn't strike your fancy, please tell them honestly and don't say that you'll call them back right after you check on something, in about an hour, ...

[Guest Ken]

The same thing happened to me with the first escort I ever hired.However he was not straight. I saw him exclusively for 2 years then realized that I was nothing but another satisfied customer. All the above advise applies. I stopped seeing him and eventually got over it. Strongly suggest that you terminate your relationship with this guy and try to go on to someone else.....WITH YOUR GUARD UP.

[Guest dallas]

Thanks to all of you. All your advises are really helpful. I feel a bit better now after reading all your intelligent advises. Your friends are very lucky for having supportive people like you.

 

dallas

[Guest tntdc]

I've had almost exclusively affairs with straight hustlers (who became ex-hustlers) This worked for me because I feel more at ease with bi's and guys a little younger. We developed close emotional bonds, shared our lives, and three lasted 5 years each. Finacially it was better than hiring escorts plus I can't enjoy sex with a stranger.. But you have to remember that whatever the fantasy, and escorts only deal in your fantasy, almost all these guys have very serious problems. Forget the college student crap. Most shoot heroin and/or smoke crack.Most are clinical sociopaths with no honest sense of right/wrong and criminal records to prove it. It's the pretty packaging and the learned manners that fool johns. Not that you can't develop a deep emotional bond with them- god knows most of them need it. But it's a roller-coaster not worth the emotional price and it always ends in disaster no matter how long it lasts.Hooboy will hate me for this but it's an honest observation after 25 years of relationships like you desired. "Be careful what you wish for you might get it!" A frank escort many years ago warned me not to fall in love with one and it's taken me all this time to figure out why.

[Guest torjon]

There's a lot of wisdom in the postings to this thread. Packed with common sense and good advise.Unfortunately,sometimes "the heart is quicker than the eye".(Lorenz Hart).

My first escort experience was only 9 months ago, (and Im no kid!) and over several return visits I grew to love him for a lot of reasons. I still do and in some way, always will. However, I would never kid myself about what the "relationship" really is, except for those lovely "pretend" hours when we're together. Rejection is among the worst gut kickers there is,no matter who it's by.

However I recently got a taste of how it might be with "my guy" when, over a period of weeks he didn't have time to "fit me in", despite having become a "regular" that he says he values. Suddenly I knew exactly where I stood, and even that mini-rejection hurt like hell. I get over it, because I have a life with loving people in it, but it helped me face the realities head on and I needed that dash of cold water, so actually, after "getting over it", I'm grateful.

I'll see him again, but in a better light for us both. I'll still fall a little bit in love with the occasional guy, but it happens rarely, and it's always based on more than just the sex. And as someone said earlier, there is some comfort in knowing you actually can feel that emotion. You know you're alive. But as long as there's a few $$$ lying on the table when you leave, it's not quite "true love". (LOL). Last week I met another escort from out of town that has been on my dream list for some time. I could fall in love with him so quick it would make my head spin. It's still a nice feeling, as long as one remembers the realities of the situation.

TNTDC, your observations about what "most" of these guys are, or were, is SO cynical. Your experiences are no doubt much broader than this late bloomers, but I've met a few that sure don't fit that description. Angels they're not, but neither was I when I was young. I don't believe the top escorts...and you can pick some of them out easily in the review section, over time...could be the successes they are if they are the mess you describe. But then what do I know? My "heart is definitely quicker than my eye". This is a good thread, and gave me much to think about. These kind of thoughtful topics are the Forum (message center) at it's best.