Mini-rant on 'preferences'

[borgerback]

So - I've kind of said this before, but here it is, flat out: why do providers list 'bondage' as a preference, and then when you ask them about it, they literally respond back saying, 'no bdsm please' or "I don't really do bondage".  Then why put it on your preferences list, especially if you don't want to have your time wasted by answering messenger inquiries about your experience, etc.?  The only possible explanation I can muster is that you have the option - upon creating a profile - to 'select all'; but when you've heard from someone like me once or twice, for goodness' sake, remove it from the list!

I guess a lot of you guys run into this problem with kissing, bottoming, topping, etc., and I haven't paid much attention to mis-labeled profiles for all the large range of stuff I'm NOT into; so forgive me for ranting about having to endure your every Tuesday night frustration; but especially with something as - specialized, shall we say? - as bondage, don't put it on there if you aren't at least interested!

And I have to give kudos to two different groups of guys, as follows: first, those who list it and are interested or at least willing to discuss it, even if they don't have gear or experience.  Second, there's some (imho very attractive) guys I've reached out to who do NOT list 'bondage' as a preference HOWEVER they are very willing to talk about it and try it when I described my particular scene and asked nicely.  In fact, I can think of two who had NOT listed 'bondage' as a preference, and then after connecting with me, began to list it as a preference!

Rainy Friday rant (as I'm sure you are all aware, we are having the Atmospheric Apocalypse out here in California today).

Please take almost all my comments with the tinge of irony in which they are typed.

[+ José Soplanucas]

4 minutes ago, borgerback said:

Then why put it on your preferences list, especially if you don't want to have your time wasted by answering messenger inquiries about your experience, etc.?  The only possible explanation I can muster is that you have the option - upon creating a profile - to 'select all';

I bet you there are more, but one more explanation I can think of is resume embellishment. I understand is predominant in all professions. 

[MikeBiDude]

I’ve mentioned dozens of times here on the forum, I tend to ignore an RM provider’s “into” checkboxes. This includes those who check them all, and those that don’t check some. If I’m interested in a provider…I reach out and when appropriate start asking. This has worked for me and I often enjoy “into” that isn’t checked off! Works for me.

[+ Pensant]

I too almost always convert providers into my “rituals”! Those I want to make regulars, that is.

[+ StLouisOct]

I don’t know, but you’re not asking about an escort, so I’d move your question to the Lounge for more responses.