Working it Out

[SAdler]

Shortly after I took on this couple as a client one of the men and I met and realized we went to the same gym. It was ok at first, just casual glances and friendly acknowledgments. Then he started getting more explicit and trying to talk about business in between sets and inviting himself to workout with me. I asked him respectfully to try and keep business and personal life separate. Worked for a while and then I changed my gym schedule so it became less of an issue.

 

So I was seeing this couple every other week for a while and it was working out. At some point it became like a frequent flyer thing and I brought the rate down every three or four times. Since I was seeing them so often and they were relatively attractive just not my type, I didn't mind so much. They eventually stopped scheduling to meet, which is completely fair.

 

Now I'm back to that gym schedule and seeing him every day. Now he's being overly friendly again very explicit in the gym. I again asked him to tone it down, not even mentioning the financial standpoint. He hasn't stopped.

 

I've tried being nice, nodding my head and telling him to have a good night with subtle hints. I've tried being blunt and telling him that I really don't have a desire to speak to him and I dont appreciate him following me into the steam room. I'm a step away from telling my manager friend there that's he's harrassing me but I think that's too extreme.

 

Being subtle, being blunt, being nice, being mean has not worked in any permutation. Has anyone else had a similar problem or suggestions how to deal with it without screaming our business to the entire gym or threatening him at his house?

[bigguyinpasadena]

Scott I would suggest letting sleeping dogs lie in this situation.

Being mean or causing a scene would just lead to bad feelings and possible embarassment.

If the guys cannot take a hint then they are not going to be cool if you should be more aggressive.

You know when you can avoid them,your schedule is somewhat flexible-you be the bigger guy(hee hee)here and make adjustments.

This is just something you are going to run into-and is a sign of your growing popularity.

Also-there is a possibility that these two will become paying customers again,so why spoil this?

BTW-I have heard from a little bird that your increased workout regieme is paying off-just do not become too "buff"plenty of time for that later.

Hope you do not mind advice from a non'scort.

[Curmudgeon]

Change gyms. <shrug>

 

Your choices in WeHo aren't THAT limited.

[noviceny]

yowch !!! That sucks !!!

 

Adults who lack basic social skills such as appropriate behavior in public, are often unpredictable. People who have not learned social cues and what makes others uncomfortable by this point in their life, should be avoided.

 

I hate to say this, but I would change gyms. Happens a lot in the straight world when chicks get to clingy or when ya have a breakup. If you can, and if you arent really attached to your gym, I would change.

 

or you could just flex :-)

[+ Lucky]

Maybe deej could recommend a gym to you?

<grin>

[Guest firem66803]

i would change gyms. it's just not worth the aggravation. you would think that these guys would get your hints by now. don't hold your breath waiting for this to happen.

[Lookin]

Sounds like the guy has a problem respecting boundaries. I know a couple of people like that and, other than avoiding them, the thing that's worked for me is letting them know clearly what the boundaries are, asking for their help in respecting them, and letting them know there are consequences if they don't. Just like dealing with a child.

 

How about this:

 

"So far, I haven't done a very good job of letting you know how much I appreciate my personal space in the gym, and how intrusive it is when you follow me around and talk about outside business. I haven't spoken to the manager yet, because I thought it would be something you and I could work out between the two of us. I'm not able to change my schedule at this time, so I was wondering if there's anything else that I could say or do that would help keep some distance between us while I'm in the gym. Any ideas?"

 

Use your own words of course, but keep him focussed on the fact that the only thing you're interested in talking about right now is how he is planning to respect your privacy in the gym. It sounds kind of snotty, and it may piss him off, but it should get his attention.

 

If not, slip some itching powder in his jockstrap.

 

 

PS: Sorry for jumping in to the Ask An Escort thread, but I think boundary issues are pretty universal.

[SAdler]

>Being mean or causing a scene would just lead to bad feelings

>and possible embarassment.

 

Well I was never considering doing the above, I was simply considering other options. That was kind of a hyperbole of last choice.

 

>You know when you can avoid them,your schedule is somewhat

>flexible-you be the bigger guy(hee hee)here and make

>adjustments.

 

Unfortunately for two reasons my schedule ISN'T flexible. 16 Quarter Units and a LSAT Prep Class among other responsibilities combined with really short gym hours (yes that's my fault) I would go earlier if I humanly could. I hate working out at night.

 

>This is just something you are going to run into-and is a sign

>of your growing popularity.

>Also-there is a possibility that these two will become paying

>customers again,so why spoil this?

 

Something tells me they're not going to be clients again as when after I saw him again after a while in the gym and emailed he said they'd left that period in their lives.

 

>BTW-I have heard from a little bird that your increased

>workout regieme is paying off-just do not become too

>"buff"plenty of time for that later.

>Hope you do not mind advice from a non'scort.

 

LOL. Yes. I'm more muscular but on the other hand right now I'm toning down .... not getting any bigger. I'm right where I wanna be. Perhaps you'd want to judge When is the next HooVille btw?

[SAdler]

>Change gyms. <shrug>

>

>Your choices in WeHo aren't THAT limited.

 

Well not to sound snobby but I work out at the best one in WeHo. While I wouldn't mind the economic advantage, I don't want to take a step down in quality or location.

 

If all he wants is sex in the steam room shouldn't he be the one lowering himself to the 24 Hour Bathhou....er Fitness on Santa Monica?

[SAdler]

>"So far, I haven't done a very good job of letting you know

>how much I appreciate my personal space in the gym, and how

>intrusive it is when you follow me around and talk about

>outside business. I haven't spoken to the manager yet,

>because I thought it would be something you and I could work

>out between the two of us. I'm not able to change my schedule

>at this time, so I was wondering if there's anything else that

>I could say or do that would help keep some distance between

>us while I'm in the gym. Any ideas?"

>

>Use your own words of course

 

PERFECT. I'll print up the index card. Your words are perfect, but I would change the manager bit to something like ... I don't want to have you kicked out of the gym as is his protocol ... perhaps a tinge more aggression

 

>If not, slip some itching powder in his jockstrap.

 

You're bad. Then again, that would involve discreetly putting on latex gloves in the locker room at peak hours. It's a West Hollywood gym but.....

 

>PS: Sorry for jumping in to the Ask An Escort thread, but I

>think boundary issues are pretty universal.

 

No problem. It was a general advice question, just put it in here to see if any other escorts had similar problems.

 

Thanks for all your input guys!

[Steven_Draker]

> Maybe deej could recommend a gym to you?

> <grin>

 

He already did

<evil grin> }(

[Steven_Draker]

" Work it out, baby "

 

Interesting topic.

I use to have a client who attended the same gym, but unlike your client he was very discreet and never approached me in the gym. Actually I didn’t even notice that we were both in the same gym, until he told me on our second meeting. Never had any issue with that because we’re both very private and discreet.

 

Since I workout on a daily basis (6 days a week) I need to alter my exercise program and break the routine I decided to subscribe to a second gym and now I have two memberships. That offers me more flexibility and of course if I want to avoid someone I just switch gyms.

 

 

Steven Draker ~

 

Pics and details http://www.rentboy.com/location/getrb.asp?rentboy=53690&Location=103

[JT Brooklyn]

There is a well known Older NYC "Workin Guy", who had this habit of thinking every guy.. Gay or Straight, Lusted after him, at Gold's in Manhattan.

He was so persistant,in bothering everyone, they eventually Banned the Sucker!

Doesn't look like the guy is going away. Let the Manager do his job.

This harassment thing happens everyday all over.

:+

[SAdler]

RE: " Work it out, baby "

 

>Since I workout on a daily basis (6 days a week) I need to

>alter my exercise program and break the routine I decided to

>subscribe to a second gym and now I have two memberships. That

>offers me more flexibility and of course if I want to avoid

>someone I just switch gyms.

 

Two memberships? Oy. How LA. heh heh. For what I'm paying a month for this place a second gym membership isn't in the cards. Luckily they're opening another location right by my school within the next month so that should be a plus: spoiled hot college WASPY jocks AND getting away from my stalker ... take me to the steam room I'm about to have an orgasm

[BobbyThompson]

RE: " Work it out, baby "

 

You've already exhausted the diplomatic approach. There's no reason why *you* should have to change gyms because someone's bothering you. Sometimes, cruelty is the only way to get the point across. Good luck!

[N.N.]

RE: " Work it out, baby "

 

>Luckily they're opening another location right by my

>school within the next month so that should be a plus

 

Just curious about another possible option--

does your school maintain a gym on campus?

[SAdler]

RE: " Work it out, baby "

 

>Just curious about another possible option--

>does your school maintain a gym on campus?

 

Well yes ... in fact one of the best. Unfortunately people come from all over to use it. With 30,000 Undergrads alone + all the gym not academically affiliated admirers it can get really crowded despite the recent remodel.

 

It's a great gym but I like to get in and out as quickly as possible. The gym also isn't kept up to the best quality. I can go there for cardio but not really much else.

[escortaaron_m]

gosh! i really sympatyhise with yr situation. what the others have mentioned make sense (step up the agressoin a tinge etc). i personally haven't had clients who just dun get hints. seriously, some one like that who doesn't resdpect you, why would you still want them as clients???? cmon, no amount of money can make you do business with them again????

 

personally for me, i never had such a client before. BUT, if i did, i know what would work for me: i would "freeze over" and become all frosty. i'm quite good with that and others are inevitably afected by it. like i said, i havn't had to push away a client like that, but i ceratinly have pushed away idiots in clubs or pesky classmates. so i know it works for me.

[Guest 8mile]

Which gym to you workout at Scott? And while I'm on the subject of questions which school do you go to?

 

As Usual

Zachary

[SAdler]

>Which gym to you workout at Scott? And while I'm on the

>subject of questions which school do you go to?

 

Sorry Zachary -- I think that's dipping a little too much in the personal information section without even having exchanged an email with you

 

If I knew you on a more personal level it might be something I'd share but for the purposes of this public forum and the evils that lurk I'd rather not BLATANTLY broadcast that information.

 

But in good news on an update --

 

The client apparently started reading the message boards and identified himself in this thread. I saw him last week at the gym and he was very quiet, he wrote me that night apologizing and we've set up another appointment schedule.