Should escorts buy a good client a birthday gift?

[Cooper]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client ...

 

>BTW, is this the same escort that asked you for a loan? (See

>"The Lounge" posting.) Maybe he was planning to use your

>money to buy you a gift. :+

 

Hey "Naked Tony",

TOUCHE! LOL, thanks for the laugh, I needed that...I only wish that was the case. Trouble with your thought is, I already got a new car! :+

[Cooper]

I spent my birthday week with a special long time escort who also happend to be celebrating his b-day that week. For his, I took him out to a romantic NYC restaurant, bought him some expensive jewlery, and took him to a Broadway show. We had a great time. Now for mine, we went out for breakfast, which I paid for, and then he went back to the Gaiety to work! He gave me NOTHING, not even a card. Since he had an "over-night" appointment, I spent the night in the City alone in the hotel. Am I living out some fantasy, or was it just rude of him not to give me a gift?...

[Guest lipstick]

Should escorts buy a good client a b-day gift?

 

Ah, I can relate to this one!!!!

 

It all depends on the relationship. The fact that you are shocked at the behavior of the 'scort tells me that you very likely are exaggerating the relationship. That you got him an EXPENSIVE jewelry gift is some indication of your feelings towards this guy. Gifts are really nice, but I've found that inexpensive, sentimental gifts (or practical ones) are more sensible for a client/escort relationship. We have to keep in mind that we are the ones HIRING the escort, and very rarely, if ever, does the escort "hire" the client. Your gifts to him are more like tips then. If you are lucky enough to have gotten a gift on your B-day, then I would say that you guys are also friends, but that is sometimes REALLY hard to gauge because the whole purpose of hiring a guy is to have a fun time because that's WHAT YOU ARE PAYING HIM FOR.......and that may include being nice to you.

 

I know I put this in a sterile, too objective light, but again, someone has misread the reciprocity level and I think it is you, the client. Think about it, a good escort has many clients that he entertains; several may get him gifts also. Unless you two have expressed a fellowship/friendship beyond the paid time, then it is best to consider yourself a lucky guy who is able to book into the escort's busy schedule.

 

On the other hand, maybe the 'scort didn't know what to get you, or was genuinely EMBARRASSED by your thoughtfulness!!! That's possible too.

 

But I think if you truly know where he is coming from, you might have already known what would happen, regardless of what you WISH would happen.

 

But get back to us and give us a bit more detail if you can. 'Cause I'm sure this situation happens to others a lot.

 

Thanks!

[Gigiloz4me]

Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

>I spent my birthday week with a special long time escort who

>also happend to be celebrating his b-day that week. For his,

>I took him out to a romantic NYC restaurant, bought him some

>expensive jewlery, and took him to a Broadway show. We had a

>great time. Now for mine, we went out for breakfast, which I

>paid for, and then he went back to the Gaiety to work! He

>gave me NOTHING, not even a card. Since he had an

>"over-night" appointment, I spent the night in the City

>alone in the hotel. Am I living out some fantasy, or was it

>just rude of him not to give me a gift?...

>

>

.... my bet is on the fantasy. Get a grip...

[Guest Thunderbuns]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

Am I living out some fantasy, or was it

>>just rude of him not to give me a gift?...

>>

>>

>.... my bet is on the fantasy. Get a grip...

 

You took the words right out of my mouth.

 

Thunderbuns

[+ Lucky]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

This is the same guy that has a lounge post about whether he should lend money to an escort. Guys, I think someone is having a good laugh pulling our leg here!

[Cooper]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client a b-day gift?

 

>Ah, I can relate to this one!!!!

>But get back to us and give us a bit more detail if you can.

 

Hey Lipstick,

Thanks for the good advice. As for our relationship, it's been a long one. I see him at least 2 weekends a month. We travel together and when he's working at the Gaiety, he reserves me a room right nextdoor to his. He introduces me as his "boyfriend", as do I. When we're together things are great. When apart we talk regularly on the phone. But wait, speaking on his behalf, there is one saving note, he bought me a b-day lunch at "Hamburger Harry's" in NYC. Noted for the best hamburger in the City! However, that was after I told him that 2 other Gaiety dancers were going to take me out for a b-day dinner next week. Oh well, life goes on...Let's see what next year brings (to be continued)...

[Guest NakedTony]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client ...

 

>Am I living out some fantasy, or was it just rude of him not to give me a gift?...

 

What's beyond fantasy??? That's really where you're at. You pay an escort for short-term sex, companionship, and fun. You don't pay them for a deep friendship or a committed relationship.

 

If I were giving an escort a gift it would be something like a shirt, medium-priced dinner, OR tickets to a movie. I certainly would lavish them with a Broadway show, expensive jewelry, AND a pricey dinner. You're over the top!

 

BTW, is this the same escort that asked you for a loan? (See "The Lounge" posting.) Maybe he was planning to use your money to buy you a gift. :+

[btmstudnyc]

RE: Should escorts buy client a birthday gift?

 

This one is really a case by case situation. At least for me it is. If it was a regular client who is always thoughtful..I definitely would have done something...either a card or flowers or a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. If it is a client who is a regular, but just straightforward business....I definitely wouldn't get him anything. I'd send a birthday e-mail. Some clients can take offense to reciprocity...some like it...that's why it is case by case. I actually give gifts to my overnight clients. Anything to get them to remember me...hell...that coffee table book about sex....everytime he sees it he'll remember me!!! I LIKE THAT A LOT. And when I get gifts, It definitely keeps them at the top of my list....but enough of the Godiva's.....its ruining my figure.

 

btmstudnyc@aol.com

 

jim

;-)

[guyinsf]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

I'm going to leap in without having read anyone else's response yet...

 

There is no "should." The guy obviously showed you that he isn't going to give you anything to acknowledge your birthday, which may be his "policy" (either deliberately determined or "automatic") with all clients.

 

Are there escorts who give clients gifts or acknowledge their birthdays in other ways? Yes. This obviously has to be the escort's idea and is something apart from the usual escort/client relationship. Even if you've been seeing an escort a long time and give him gifts regularly, whether he returns the favor is up to him.

 

Perhaps you're rich and the amount of money you spent on his gift means little to you, but it sounds like taking an escort out to dinner and show and buying him "expensive jewelry" is quite lavish treatment -- unless you have developed some sort of "real" relationship with him apart from the paid hours you spend with him. If your relationship with him has remained within the "sex for pay" realm, I think it's reasonable (though perhaps greedy) for an escort to just think of your gifts as tips for exceptional service.

[Cooper]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

>This is the same guy that has a lounge post about whether he

>should lend money to an escort. Guys, I think someone is

>having a good laugh pulling our leg here!

 

Hey "Detective" Lucky,

You are correct, I'm the gentleman who has another post on the "lounge", is anything wrong with that? If you read both messages carefully, you'll see I'm talking about the same person. Stick with the issue at hand and stop playing "detective". The is NO "laughing matter".

[Guest Julian Kaye]

RE: Should escorts buy client a birthday gift?

 

Nah, but it was rude not to AT LEAST get a card. Rude 2 not buy breakfast.

 

btmstudnyc u rock!

[Guest jrpSCORP]

RE: Should escorts buy...?

 

You can buy sex and companionship for a limited time. You cannot buy a friendhip or love. Click your heels three times. You can call him your "boyfriend" or whatever other term you wish to use. IS he ???? For him to do the same was clearly wrong and a clear indication that he is preying on your vulnerability. My friends are my friends. My escorts are nothing more than business professionals. I once was fooled by the terms "being friendly" and "friend" When you realize the difference, you'll be much less frustrated.

[+ Lucky]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

If you are not joking, then it is a serious situation. You need psychiatric help.

[CT Dick]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

>If you are not joking, then it is a serious situation. You

>need psychiatric help.

 

This diagnosis is a bit over the top. Here we have a helpless romantic who mixes up professional relationships and personal ones.

 

Cooper, just because you personalize your interactions doesn't mean that escorts do. Remember, they are being paid to pretend that they like us. If they are really good, we can forget that it is an act. You come across more as an easy audience than a psychiatric case.

 

Toughen up and remember your role: client, NOT lover or daddy.

 

Dick

[Guest Joey Ciccone]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

>Am I living out some fantasy, or was it just rude of him not to give me a gift?...<

 

The deal is this: escorts bodies and their time are their "gifts" to the world. Those clients out there who've received real gifts from their escorts should cherish those escort as something special. So for the most part, yes, it's a fantasy to expect any other kind of gift from a hooker. But the clown in question still treated you badly. Forget him.

[Will]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

>The deal is this: escorts bodies and their time are their

>"gifts" to the world.

 

Joey, I've always thought of you as one of the most sensible guys who post on M4M. I still think so, but I must take issue with that statement about your time and your body being a "gift." It isn't a gift at all, not if you sell it. Your body and your time are commodities, not gifts. You are not doing anybody in the entire world a favor by having sex with him for howevermany dollars an hour, any more than my lawyer or accountant is doing me a favor by working for me in return for an hourly fee.

 

For my birthday recently, I invited an escort to join me for a night at a very good hotel on the Upper East Side of New York; we went to dinner at an elegant restaurant, and then to the theater. He knew he was my birthday present to myself, and I was delighted that he shared it with me -- for a hefty fee. However, I was not prepared for him to hand me an exquisitely wrapped gift, which was a book on a subject of common interest. I was deeply moved, not only by the gesture itself, but by the obvious care and thoughtfulness that went into selecting it.

 

Neither one of us mistook the commodity for the gift. They were two separate things. And the free gift made the expensive commodity even more valuable than its cost in dollars, believe me.

 

It also confirmed my confidence in knowing how to pick out an escort who will meet my needs. First on the list is that he not think of himself as the Duchess of Windsor, who expected to gets lots of expensive presents in return for her not-incomparable favors -- and who also thought she should be called Your Royal Highness for being little more than an ex-king's mistress.

[Boston Guy]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client

 

Cooper,

 

Gifts are just that -- gifts, not expressions of obligation, or at least they should be. Gifts should be given to people we want to give them to, not people we feel we need to give them to.

 

The exception, of course, is the business gift, which is given partially in appreciation for past patronage and partially in the hope that it will help to stimulate future business.

 

The escort you were with either (a) didn't feel a strong enough desire to buy you a birthday gift; or (b) felt so confident in your continued business that he didn't feel any gift -- even on your birthday -- was needed to keep the stream of dollars flowing; or © is dense and not thinking; or (d) is unkind and views you as an ATM, his verbal expressions to you notwithstanding.

 

Was it rude? No; that would imply that he was under some obligation to buy you a gift, which he was not. Was it stupid? Yes; you're here, asking questions, feeling hurt and questioning your relationship with him. A simple gift could have eliminated those things and left his business arrangement with you more secure.

 

When taken together with your other question about the loan, this guy seems even more stupid or more unkind or perhaps a little of both. Picture this: you're with an important client, who you hope will continue doing a substantial amount of business with you; he just acknowledged your birthday in a very impressive way; you're asking him to loan you money; and, when you go out for breakfast -- breakfast!! -- on his birthday, you let him pay.

 

Hello!! This guy is playing you like a sucker. As Ann Landers would have said, you need to wake up and smell the coffee.

 

Cooper, you sound like a decent guy and one who knows how to have a good time. You clearly have some financial resources behind you, at least enough to be able to indulge yourself from time to time. Why are you spending so much time with this escort?

 

From my point of view, this incident might be the best thing that ever happened to you. It's made you see more clearly the nature of your relationship with this guy. You're not his boyfriend, even though you tell people that you are. You're not even someone that he wants to buy a birthday present for. You are simply a client and he clearly sees you as a source of money. Period.

 

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but facing reality from time to time is a good thing to do.

 

I would like to offer a gentle suggestion. You're starting a new year, having just had your birthday. Instead of spending so much time and money on this escort, why not consider spending some of your time and money on meeting people who may turn out to be true friends, who want to spend time with you because they LIKE you?

 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't hire escorts, but it sounds like you're hiring escorts -- or at least this escort -- to the extent that you have confused real relationships with fake ones. If that's true, you need to stop. Life is too short to live a lie.

 

Hiring escorts is fine if you're looking for a fix now and then. But if you're now looking to escorts for your friendships and thinking that you're actually building a relationship with this guy, you're really deluding yourself and you would do yourself a huge favor to simply walk away and take stock of your life and where you want it to be going.

 

As for granting him a loan? C'mon -- you already know the answer to that one.

 

BG

[marc anthony]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client a b-day gift?

 

>>Ah, I can relate to this one!!!!

>>But get back to us and give us a bit more detail if you can.

>

>Hey Lipstick,

>Thanks for the good advice. As for our relationship, it's

>been a long one. I see him at least 2 weekends a month. We

>travel together and when he's working at the Gaiety, he

>reserves me a room right nextdoor to his. He introduces me

>as his "boyfriend", as do I. When we're together things are

>great. When apart we talk regularly on the phone. But wait,

>speaking on his behalf, there is one saving note, he bought

>me a b-day lunch at "Hamburger Harry's" in NYC. Noted for

>the best hamburger in the City! However, that was after I

>told him that 2 other Gaiety dancers were going to take me

>out for a b-day dinner next week. Oh well, life goes

>on...Let's see what next year brings (to be continued)...

>

 

Hamburger Harry's has pretty damn good clam chowder too. And I agree with the vote on the best hamburger.

 

My advice is more practical... he's a fool for not buying you a gift. You're a fool if you loan him money. But if you make each other happy, what's the harm in being fools? Part of hiring escorts is indulging in fantasy. At some level, everybody deludes themselves a little in client-escort relations... even the most cynical members of this board must sometimes think that their escort finds them sexy when actually they are just doing their job well!

 

So if he has brought you happiness and joy over the years, forget about the manners transgression and get back to having a good time with him. And next year, ask him, "So what are you going to get me for my birthday?"

>

[Guest DevonSFescort]

RE: Should escorts...

 

This is so interesting. When I read Boston Guy's post, I thought, "Yep, he's nailed it." Then I read marc anthony's post, which approached the issue from a totally different angle, and I thought, "Whoa, he's nailed it too!" Whether one takes a "stop living through fantasies" stance, on the one hand, or a "live the fantasy, but see through it" position, I think the bottom line is that it's time to recognize your emotional overinvestment in this guy, and divest in whatever way will work best for you.

 

(I'm with the "don't lend" crowd, by the way. There are a million good reasons not to, but the single biggest one is that, as you've already stated, he's not good with his money. Not only would you be kissing the funds goodbye and adding an awkward element to your relationship, chances are you'd be enabling more of the same bad habits that brought him to you.)

[Guest Joey Ciccone]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

>Joey, I've always thought of you as one of the most sensible

>guys who post on M4M. I still think so, but I must take

>issue with that statement about your time and your body

>being a "gift.

 

Hi Will. My humblest apologies for not draping my statement with greater sarcasm, but I figured it's very utterance would be ridiculous enough.

 

I'm with you on this one, our time and bodies aren't gifts at all, but I sometimes sense that many escorts don't see it that way. Sounds like you found one of the good ones.

[Cooper]

RE: Should escorts buy a client a birthday gift?

 

>If you are not joking, then it is a serious situation. You

>need psychiatric help.

 

Hey "Detective" duuuuh Lucky or is it now "Dr. Phil"?

Why do you have to be so mean? If you have nothing constructive to contribute to this topic, then pass and have your laugh. I came here to share/vent an issue that some can relate to, and seek out advice. If by doing so I've become your target for personal criticism, then perhaps I should write elsewhere....So far, with the exception of yours, all the comments/suggestions have been very helpful, and for that I'm grateful. Since my personal friends don't want to hurt my feelings and tell me how foolish I've been, I needed to hear it from people who have been in a similiar situation...I hope you can understand where I'm coming from. Simply put, I was hurt when the escort didn't acknowledge my b-day. Amen!

[Cooper]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client

 

>From my point of view, this incident might be the best thing

>that ever happened to you. It's made you see more clearly

>the nature of your relationship with this guy. You're not

>his boyfriend, even though you tell people that you are.

>You're not even someone that he wants to buy a birthday

>present for. You are simply a client and he clearly sees

>you as a source of money. Period.

 

>

>I would like to offer a gentle suggestion. You're starting

>a new year, having just had your birthday. Instead of

>spending so much time and money on this escort, why not

>consider spending some of your time and money on meeting

>people who may turn out to be true friends, who want to

>spend time with you because they LIKE you?

>

>

>Hiring escorts is fine if you're looking for a fix now and

>then. But if you're now looking to escorts for your

>friendships and thinking that you're actually building a

>relationship with this guy, you're really deluding yourself

>and you would do yourself a huge favor to simply walk away

>and take stock of your life and where you want it to be

>going.

 

Hey Boston Guy,

Christ! Are you good...What wonderful advice you shared with me. I'm sure that all patrons and artisans alike can relate to your comments. Boston is real lucky to have a guy of your caliber. Thanks so much for your thoughtfulness and straight forward advice...I guess it's decision time for me.

It's just that I hate the "hurt" that goes along with a break-up. Yes, I know, in the long run it's for the best but...

[btmstudnyc]

RE: Should escorts buy client a birthday gift?

 

Afer reading all the posts....I didn't realize that this guy wanted to lend money from you. In this CASE....He definitely was rude. If I was asking anyone for money....I think I would be sucking up any way I could to get it...How f****ing hard is it to fold a piece of paper in half and write....I'm sorry I can't afford a present...but Happy Birthday Hot Stud!!! Actually it's a pet peev of mine too...I hate when people use the excuse...He's an escort...a professional....A true professional would have at least left a note or sent flowers IF THEY KNEW IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY...fuck my dentist sends me a birthday card.

 

I will only give it to him one way now...if he is under 25...not that all people are inexperienced at that age...but I was when I was that age. It took me some time to figure out the way relationships both business and personal work.

 

Hey buddy...if you hire me for the night...I'll make sure you get MORE than a present!!!!

 

btmstudnyc@aol.com

 

jim

}>

[Boston Guy]

RE: Should escorts buy a good client

 

Thanks. :-)

 

Just remember... the "long run" starts today.

 

I hope that when you celebrate your next birthday, it will be with a few new friends who are helping you celebrate and happy to be there with you.

 

Good luck.

BG