Have you ever been 'let off the hook"?

[Guest jon guy]

Paid, but not required to have sex - and not because the person paying you didn't fancy you, but perhaps because after some time together sex somehow seemed inappropriate to the moment.

 

This has happenned a couple of times to me. Once when a rather naive youngster wanting to have sex - for himself - realised that despite the fact that he was paying me, I was a 'real' person too. Another time when after a very emotionally charged evening, a client did not want to detract from the 'honesty' of what had preceeded by engaging in sex. Funny though, that one of these guys is now my boyfriend, and the other someone who's gesture taught me something vital about myself and my encounter with whom will remain a treasured memory.

 

I wrote a poem about this - which for obvious reasons i didn't include in my web site. but hey, escort sex isn't always great!!

 

comercial suicide - here we come!

 

x jon http://www.jonguy.com

 

I’m going to let you off the hook

 

It doesn’t happen often that I’m paid for sex and then let go.

Sex hangs over most encounters like a lowering cumulus,

Waiting to spill its load of imponderables.

You say “I’m going to let you off the hook” - funny expression that.

As if you are liberators, allowing a cowering lion to

Walk disorientated into the bright sunlight.

You are straining mercy, removing the noose

From around the neck of a fattened calf.

I stare down blinkingly into your eyes.

I am meat no longer destined for ritual slaughter and the dinner table.

I won’t be tasted, fingered or prodded, digested and expelled.

You have set me free.

 

Is it a trembling honesty that prompts you to refrain from taking what is yours?

You stop because you know that the transaction is one sided.

Toned muscle and a six-pack can be armor too.

Might taking rob an evening of those crumbs of realness,

The confidences and exchange of something that was

Freely given and meaningful?

Or do you know, really, that in throwing me back

You have made your hooks golden and irresistible?

I will swim back, but of my own free will,

To be willingly impaled, fresh, glistening and wet to your mercy.

It is a risk though.

[ad rian]

>This has happenned a couple of times to me. Once when a

>rather naive youngster wanting to have sex - for himself -

>realised that despite the fact that he was paying me, I was

>a 'real' person too. Another time when after a very

>emotionally charged evening, a client did not want to

>detract from the 'honesty' of what had preceeded by engaging

>in sex.

 

I don't understand this. I know my escorts are "real persons". That's what I am paying for. Can you explain more about what could make the evening so emotionally charged that sex would detract from the "honesty" of the experience? I don't doubt you, I just don't understand.

[+ deej]

I know this is directed at escorts, but I did once hire a guy and let him off the hook.

 

I'd been with him often enough we knew each other well, so before a "nooner" we went for lunch at a lovely Italian restaurant. A little pasta later, we were both quite sleepy.

 

I realized he was exhausted, and so was I. (We'd been at the same event the night before.) I'd been wracking my brain trying to come up with the perfect birthday present for him for weeks and suddenly it popped into my head.

 

I stuffed his fee in his pocket and said "happy birthday, babe. Your present is a nap" and left.

[Guest jon guy]

Well, I confided some really important stuff in him - and i think that he felt that he had been very open and honest with me. It was his decision not to have sex, but I imagine that he realised that i would not have had sex with him were it not for the fee - whereas were we to have met under slightly different circumstance, we might have exchanged similar intimacies - but sometimes I think that there can be few other situations in which two people find themselves which are conducive to such rapid breaking down of barriers.

 

x jon (london)

[+ bigjoey]

something similiar happened to me. i hired an escort for the whole weekend before he was to start at the gaiety on monday. we were up sunday night and did not get to bed before 6:00AM or so on monday morning. he had to get up about 10:00 to go check into his hotel, get some things to prepare for the week and be ready for the first show at 1:30 (he was number one in the line up). i could see he was tired and really needed sleep so i paid for his "private shows" after 1:30 and 3:30 so he could sleep after those two shows. it was my gift to him for a great weekend.

 

now the cynics out there will say he took the money and still had "clients". well i was at the 1:30 show and he left alone right after his performance without talking to anyone; i watched the whole show and did a private with another dancer; i came back for the 3:30 show and after his performance he invited me back to his room to sleep as he could see i was tired so i went back with him and we both fell soundly asleep until his next show.

 

interestingly enough, he has retired from escorting and we are still friends.

[ad rian]

>It was his decision not to have sex, but I imagine

>that he realised that i would not have had sex with him were

>it not for the fee

 

I am not trying to be argumentative, just trying to understand, but don't all clients assume that the escort would probably not have sex with them outside the escort relationship? There must be some other reason for him to have allowed you to take the money and run, so to speak?

 

>- whereas were we to have met under

>slightly different circumstance, we might have exchanged

>similar intimacies

 

Are you saying that you don't like being an escort because you would prefer to have sex with people who don't pay you (or have to pay you) than with people who do pay you (or have to pay you)? I imagine most escorts must think that at some level, but if they really can't get over that, they choose a new line of work.

 

>- but sometimes I think that there can be

>few other situations in which two people find themselves

>which are conducive to such rapid breaking down of barriers.

 

I agree, and I really appreciated your explaining how you fell in love with the client in the other thread. I understand all that. What I don't understand is an escort who expects to get paid notwithstanding the commencement of the "friendship" or "relationship" or for whom payment for the friendship or relationship in lieu of sex. If you can explain more, I'd be interested in knowing more.

[Guest jon guy]

Well, I guess that there are many reasons why a client may choose not to extract his pound of flesh. OK, on this particular occasion, I told the guy more than i might usually about a blossoming relationship, and he did not require me to sleep with him out of an unsolicited felicity for my private emotions. His gesture did mean so much.

 

I think that you'd be surprised how many clients believe - or act as if they believe that the escort would have sex with them irrespective of the money. They might. But equally how many escorts flatter themselves that clients would spend time with them were it not for the sex? Again, they might.

 

Friendship, I suppose is these 'mights' or to put it differently, the givings that transcend the financial and the residue that remains when either moves on. I personally don't see why an escort/client relationship can not run in tandem with friendship. Sure it complicates, but so does so much.

 

Personally, i've only once reached the point where i've ceased to charge for sex and when it happenned, money had long ago ceased to be an issue between us. On other occasions - many - I've completely forgotten that i am 'working', but that isn't the same as not working. Heaven forbid that we didn't like spending time with the people that 'employ' us!

 

This is just a jumble which i'm not sure answers your questions - but by all means pose sum more. I should read some of the threads on friendship.

 

x jon guy. http://www.jonguy.com

[Prime Muscle]

Once I had a client hire me only to accompany him to a private party. He was very clear that he did not want any extracurricular activities. I showed up and then we went to a gay clothing store where he and another guy picked out my clothes. I hate shopping and this took forever. We tried on every combination of muscle shorts and tanks -- also tried leather and a ton of arm bands, wrist bands, etc. Once they picked out my clothes, I went to his hair dresser. Then to a tattoo place for a temporary tattoo (it lasted about a week but looked very real the first few days). The party lasted a few hours and all I did was walk around with the client so his friends could see me. Then he called me a cab and paid me. He went back into the party. The next day I got an email from the client thanking me for a great time. To this day, I have no idea what that entire evening was about.

[chrismac]

Prime - I say you earned every penny and then some for that experience! I don't think you let the client off the hook in any way.

 

It's like my mom used to explain to me: "wouldn't you rather get a spanking and have it done with, than some longer punishment like being grounded or spending the whole afternoon in your room? This way, you get the punishment out of the way and you're free to go."

 

Seems like your evening was the "longer punishment" :-)

[DaninWA]

Boy, you said it, Chris. Prime you definitely earned your fee. You couldn't pay me to go shopping. I call the shopper at Nordstrom's and tell him what I want. He checks my file, puts together the outfits, and I pick them up. In and out in five minutes. I love this guy.

 

Dan

 

P.S. No Minuteman jokes, please.

[Guest Thunderbuns]

>Boy, you said it, Chris. Prime you definitely earned your

>fee.

 

I actually think the whole evening sounded like a blast. And as I presume the escort was either on an houly rate or charged a large predetermined fee, I fail to see the distress.

 

>You couldn't pay me to go shopping.

 

I thought only straight men hate shopping :-)

 

>I call the shopper at Nordstrom's and tell him what I want. He >checks my file, puts together the outfits, and I pick them up. In

>and out in five minutes. I love this guy.

 

You're missing all the fun. Don't you like to have you in-seam measured?

 

Thunderbuns