What About FUCK?

[Guest aarongreyLa]

Question: do you think that the use if the word fuck as a euphemism for sex in the gay community is a re appropriation of a pejorative term? Does it reveal a form of internalized homophobia? It seems that so many of us are raised in communities that are culturally intolerant of gays, especially their sex. That type of growth environment can cause gays to internalize fears of being outted even in the intimate confines of their bedroom. Does the word fuck exhibit a degree of sex negativity in the minds of gays in reference to their sexual practices?

 

Aaron Grey and that in the corner is my caboose. Choo!!Choo!!

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

[Guest Thunderbuns]

NO

 

Thunderbuns

[Guest aarongreyLa]

Do you care to expound? Because I was thinking about how I say the word fuck in my daily life. A few weeks ago it dawned on me that I never used fuck to describe something positive. I then started to think of all the ways that I had heard the word fuck used in my adolescence. Fuck you (get your power taken away), you are fucked up (something is wrong with you) I am fucked (I am in a bad situation), we fucked (we made love but it was meaningless).

Then I started to think about how the word fuck was introduced to me. Fuck you; you are fucked; and my all time favorite: Fuck it (I don’t care anymore). I realized that this was something that “straight kids" said when I was an adolescent to shield their feelings while my fabulous faggoty self was feeling my pain on a Martha Graham level.

Instead of saying: damn that really hurt my feelings, please do not treat me like that or speak to me like that again they said “fuck it”. Instead of going to an authority figure when they were molested or abused and saying some one is really taking advantage of me and I feel vulnerable and afraid, they said fuck it no one will listen any way.

Fuck in our culture, in my humble opinion, is a gateway into the psyche of the American male. The American male is taught to bottle his emotions, to be pragmatic, to be apollonian, avoid showing pain and by all means, not to cry. Finally, the American male is taught to equate his penis with a tool of domination. I know that might turn a lot of you on. So, be it. But my concern is for the long-term phycic health of our clients and ourselves.

So often our clients are older gentlemen, overweight, gay and closeted, afraid, lonely, needing of comfort and they do not know how to really express their need for security form the escort. Do not get me wrong. I understand that many of the clients out there are very in control of their sexuality. Some like to be dominated; some like to dominate. I am concerned, however, that we as escorts can provide the fantasy but also provide a healthy experience that leads these wonderful human beings- our clients- to a better position in life. I want them to be mentally strong enough to go back into the world and make a positive difference in whatever it is that they choose to do. They will not be able to confront the world on their own terms if their very fantasy (experience with an escort) is reinforcing the exact socially dominating paradigms that are making them afraid to come out in the first place. That is all. And this one goes out to you Thunderbuns you wonderful man. If you had not written that curt response to my question I would not have been inspired to expound on where this idea came from and the mental anguish I feel for all those out there who are struggling with their sexuality and the way their community will consequently judge them.

I will never forget that I also came out once. It was a difficult experience. In fact, my first gay sexual experience was with an escort in Brazil and he was so unbelievably tender and beautiful. I, on the other hand, was a typical American expecting to just fuck him, shoot my load with my 8inch dick, rock his word and move on. I was wrong. I accept that and I still feel remorse for the way I treated the situation mentally.

We have a great job here as escorts. We have the power to enrich people’s lives or make them regret that hour or so. Which one are you? And Julvior, (my first)…I am so sorry. I apologize for being typically chauvinistically and American male. Ciao ciao meu bem. Te amo.

 

 

Aaron Grey and that in the corner is my caboose. Damn it. Choo!!Choo!!

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aaron@aarongreycalifornia.com

[N.N.]

If I'd like an escort to fuck me, that's what I say.

I find it a satisfying word to pronounce. And if I want

him to be an aggressive oral top, nothing beats saying

that I'd like him to fuck my face. I won't say "please be

an aggressive oral top", or "thrust into my face please",

or use some esoteric Latinate word like "irrumate".

 

Yes, the word 'fuck' has baggage, as do most sexual slang words.

I like it anyway.

[bluenix]

Sex without emotional involvement is not, I would argue, inherently bad.

 

What you seem to be feeling bad about are your actions and the actions of others, which are quite apart from the meaning of a word.

 

[blockquote]I would think how words go straight up in a thin line, quick and harmless, and how terribly doing goes along the earth, clinging to it, so that after a while the two lines are too far apart for the same person to straddle from one to the other; and that sin and love and fear are just sounds that people who never sinned nor loved nor feared have for what they never had and cannot have until they forget the words. Addie Bundren in Faulkner's As I Lay Dying

[/blockquote]

 

Here's a brief etymological description I found interesting:

 

http://dorightinc.tripod.com/weirdwords/fuck_in_the_usa.htm

[Rick Munroe]

>I am concerned, however, that we as escorts can

>provide the fantasy but also provide a healthy experience

>that leads these wonderful human beings- our clients- to a

>better position in life. I want them to be mentally strong

>enough to go back into the world and make a positive

>difference in whatever it is that they choose to do.

 

Hmmm...sounds like too much responsibility for me. I'm just a dumb whore with a nice body and a heart of gold. I'm out to, as you put it, rock guys' worlds, not change their lives.

[Guest aarongreyLa]

>Hmmm...sounds like too much responsibility for me. I'm just

>a dumb whore with a nice body and a heart of gold.

 

And buns of gold! Tee hee. Really though, it is my firm belief that sex is as fluid or as rigid as you make it. I know that changing the world takes the participation of the world-not just me. I guess I just wonder if we are even aware of what we are doing when we use the word fuck. I think that the link that bluenix gave was great in that it did show that there is a historical continuum that fuck belongs to.

http://dorightinc.tripod.com/weirdwords/fuck_in_the_usa.htm

 

A religious studies friend of mine told me that the word fuck was a Germanic word meaning intercourse that was made pejorative by different cultures that thought Germanic tribes were barbaric. They used their word for sex as a synonym to assault or bestiality. It is interesting to understand where we stand as individuals with this terminology. More so because many gay people used it as a synonym for making love. If you like to use the word then knowing the history and controversy behind it should only make your fantasies more vivid. Sometimes you just want to be fucked in every pejorative sense of the word. Other times you might want to make love. That is a matter of taste. It is good to know if there is a difference between the two and what that difference is.

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aarongrey@aarongreycalifornia.com

[Matt_Vancouver]

Whoa Nelly

 

Fuck fuck fuck.. fuckity fuck fucker fuck.

it feels good, try it.

Matt(fuck you, fuck me, fuck everyone, fuck me)

[Guest aarongreyLa]

RE: Whoa Nelly

 

it feels great when you understand the context.

http://www.aarongreycalifornia.com

aarongrey@aarongreycalifornia.com

[foxy]

RE: Whoa Nelly

 

Recently I was at my local video store. The clerk had a tape on with the volume turned really loud. It was one of those films where "fuck" is used every other word. It was like machine gun fire of the word "fuck". The store was filled with families, little kids, grandmothers etc. Not one person seemed to wince except for me. The trouble with the word "fuck" is that it's lost it's shock value, like everthing else these days. I think it's great when it's used sexually but find it stupid when used over and over in regular conversations.

[CT Dick]

RE: Whoa Nelly

 

Leisure Time, or one of the other companies selling compilation tapes, blips the word "fuck" out of its products. It is really incongruous to be watching fully XXX action and have the dialog censored.

 

Dick