Falling in Love with Escort

[pacnwescort]

>john in Seattle: I fell in love with the writer of the

>preceeding letter, for 120 minutes. During that time it was

>loving and romantic( at my request). It was the best, but

>when it was done it was done. That's what's great about

>using an escort,it's also what's worst.

 

John:

 

Are you refering to moi? Well, I'm glad I was the love of your life (ok, of the hour or two). And sorry that it had to end. But think of it this way. If I was your wife, and we had two hours of great sex, would I tell you to go get laid by my sexy friend? Of course not! But when you hired me, and fell in love, I told you to hire Alex, who fucked you silly, and then you were in love all over again. As the guys sex, love is no substiture for sex. :-)

 

Steven

pacnwescort@aol.com

[HardnThick]

Boston Guy ---

 

Thank you for your amazing on-target, insightful, incisive and yet compassionate posting.

 

You beautifully explained the wonder of infatuation while still explaining the “however” that follows.

 

Yes, of course, I’ve “been there” too and may be leaning that way again. Your comments help me focus what was a growing awareness. I may make as mistake again, but at least my eyes (as well as my heart) will be open.

[Barry]

Eloquently stated BG. I've missed your posts. Welcome back. :-)

 

Barry

[alanalt]

I agree that this was a very insightful and compassionate post and I'm glad that BG took the time to share his thoughts on this with us, it's just I disagree with some of them...

:-)

 

>...I do not think it is

>possible to truly love someone that you have only known for

>a few hours.

 

This is the crux of my disgareement because I have known several people who have experienced 'love at first sight' and who continue to enjoy a healthy and committed relationship years later. One couple I know met as guidance counsellors at a summer camp and both of them have told me (privately on separate occasions) that they knew the first night that they had met the partner with which they wanted to spend the rest of their lives. 15 years later, they still feel that way after illness, emotional problems, relocating and going through job/career changes...

 

My own feeling is that 'love' is too big a concept to define in stages and aspects and expect that these aspects are universal. Who knows what my friends experienced when they first met? BG might say it was infatuation that 'changed' into love, but I would argue that the underlying emotion was the same throughout, only deepened through shared experience.

 

My own belief is that the only sure thing about love is that there is no sure thing about love. It affects us all differently, appears in different ways, and over different periods of time. Getting back to the core of this thread, I think that the true thrust of the original poster's dilemna was not whether this was 'love' or 'infatuation' but was this relationship healthy? The poster himself has already answered this question and certainly there has been a lot of helpful advice offered on this subject. Indeed much of what BG says about infatuation and its effects is very true. It's just that I don't agree with his relatively narrow interpreation of 'love'.

 

Alan

[Guest jthomp3303seattle]

john in Seattle; Steven, As a product of the sixties, I believe it is possible to "love" lots of people.You were a great experience, therefore, I feel love for you. Alec was a great experience and I feel love for him too. Maybe It's the definition of "love" that not clear. I use it to mean fondness and caring and respect. I feel all of these things for you, and Alec, but it does not mean I'm going to propose or something. As one of those who lead compartmentalized lives, you fill one compartment. That's even more than I ever expected. John

[Guest Slammy]

Boston Guy,

 

Thank you for the extraordinary post. And of course it is impossible to love someone only after four hours, broken up into one hour increments. But the guy is really good at seduction. All the postings on this subject have been so helpful to me, that I cannot even begin to explain how or why. I even have been to two meetings of SLAA which have been very helpful an were recommended here.

 

I would like to be able to see this escort just for pleasure, but I don't think I am ready. I know I am not alone with these kinds of feelings. But I have not called him for over two weeks, which has been difficult. I don't even know this guys real name. But I am a firm believer in energy and I feel his energy. Thanks again.

 

Slammy

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

BG,

 

It;s been much too long... I'm glad your back. Barry captures some of my thoughts -- he often does.

 

You say much truth insightfully and compassionately and present more to ponder. Very timely post. Thanks.

[Guest Blink]

If he is gay...indeed it is hard not to fall for this perfect man...

 

http://www.strangecosmos.com/images/picturejokes/945.jpg

[Steven_Draker]

An old thread that captures the essence on this subject that never gets tired.

[BaronArtz]

I am glad you brought it back to life, Steven. Je t'aime!

[wisconsinguy]

I am glad you brought it back to life, Steven. Je t'aime!

This is a concern of mine. And as well, I am part of a 12 step program. As all of you can guess, relationships are part of these conversations. I am a monogamous person. Thus, the reason for taking such a long time choosing an escort, and sticking with him. I knew after meeting with him a few times I made the right decision. I asked him one time if he thought we would have been friends in say grade school/middle school. He shot back w a resounding "yes." As far as the love question. I agree with the posters that say to use the word "love" takes a bit more that a few hours with someone. Especially when a chunk of that time is spent ripping each others clothes off! AND, as relationships go, TRYING TO SEPARATE NEEDS AND WANTS IS PARAMOUNT TO MAKE A SITUATION WORK!!! A few months ago I told my gentleman I loved him. I was not expecting anything reciprocal. I just wanted to tell him. His comment back was, "there are many definitions to love." It was simply, true and wise. For me the definition means sacrifice. Being able to care for a person, giving up a part of myself to be part of some ones life, and help out when I can.

So simple? That's about as simple for me me as it get. I am happy with the person I have found. It took a little time to make the jump, but feel I am just starting to leap!!!

[TruHart1]

In love a little?

 

This is a concern of mine. And as well, I am part of a 12 step program. As all of you can guess, relationships are part of these conversations. I am a monogamous person. Thus, the reason for taking such a long time choosing an escort, and sticking with him. I knew after meeting with him a few times I made the right decision. I asked him one time if he thought we would have been friends in say grade school/middle school. He shot back w a resounding "yes." As far as the love question. I agree with the posters that say to use the word "love" takes a bit more that a few hours with someone. Especially when a chunk of that time is spent ripping each others clothes off! AND, as relationships go, TRYING TO SEPARATE NEEDS AND WANTS IS PARAMOUNT TO MAKE A SITUATION WORK!!! A few months ago I told my gentleman I loved him. I was not expecting anything reciprocal. I just wanted to tell him. His comment back was, "there are many definitions to love." It was simply, true and wise. For me the definition means sacrifice. Being able to care for a person, giving up a part of myself to be part of some ones life, and help out when I can.

So simple? That's about as simple for me me as it get. I am happy with the person I have found. It took a little time to make the jump, but feel I am just starting to leap!!!

 

I know you feel very lucky to have decided on your special man, wisconsinguy. I must admit that I, always searching for escorts who furnish a true BFE, have found that I fall in love a little or a lot with each great escort I find. I think that is why I become a regular of so many of these men who really enjoy their work and me while I am with them.

 

I realize we will not be moving in with each other or exchanging vows but my affection for each one grows each time I see one of "my guys." If that isn't falling in love just a bit, I don't know what would be! i.e. I still have such strong and happy feelings for my very first escort, so much so that I always see him whenever I travel to NYC!

 

TruHart1

[wisconsinguy]

I know you feel very lucky to have decided on your special man, wisconsinguy. I must admit that I, always searching for escorts who furnish a true BFE, have found that I fall in love a little or a lot with each great escort I find. I think that is why I become a regular of so many of these men who really enjoy their work and me while I am with them.

 

I realize we will not be moving in with each other or exchanging vows but my affection for each one grows each time I see one of "my guys." If that isn't falling in love just a bit, I don't know what would be! i.e. I still have such strong and happy feelings for my very first escort, so much so that I always see him whenever I travel to NYC!

 

TruHart1

Thanks TruHart1, You seem to pull things together nicely. I believe parts of this issue revolve around a few important items. They are infatuation, gratitude, the great feeling for a person that helped me feel free. I try every day to live in the moment. Somedays a bit more successful than others. We all come from a history. Many of us work against that history everyday. To find a person who accepts that history as just me, is priceless.

[wklucas]

""My question is, do escorts have favorite clients?""

 

 

For a good long while, I had a steady appointment with a guy late Saturday afternoons at his place.....he told me that our date gave him a reason to clean / tidy up his apartment at least once a week.....

(side story - we got along really well for quite awhile before I took him along on a 10 day vaca - horrible trip & the end of our "relationship" - trust me all his fault, not mine)

[wisconsinguy]

""My question is, do escorts have favorite clients?""

 

 

For a good long while, I had a steady appointment with a guy late Saturday afternoons at his place.....he told me that our date gave him a reason to clean / tidy up his apartment at least once a week.....

(side story - we got along really well for quite awhile before I took him along on a 10 day vaca - horrible trip & the end of our "relationship" - trust me all his fault, not mine)

I totally trust your ending evaluation of your vacation with this escort. Some of my thoughts: 1) When we go on extended sessions with ANYONE, there is a great deal of give and take. 2) Just knowing their habits and routines can make a huge difference of how things work out. 3) I started out with extended weekends and have stayed with that. He got used to my snoring, I got used to his late morning awaking. All part of getting to know someone and acceptance. Good luck on your next encounter!