Jump to content

Escorts Are You Embarassed?


Guest tmbg
 Share

This topic is 7467 days old and is no longer open for new replies.  Replies are automatically disabled after two years of inactivity.  Please create a new topic instead of posting here.  

Recommended Posts

You lie about your age, your name, your background, your drug use, your HIV status -is it due to embarassment? After all most of you claim that you are in a honorable profession so my the games?

 

Yes I know there are exceptions, I am interested in the vast majority here who definately are not the exception to the rule.

 

Cheers! Ritchie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 61
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Games People Play

 

>You lie about your age, your name, your background, your drug use, your HIV status -is it due to embarassment? After

>all most of you claim that you are in a honorable profession so my the games?

>

>Yes I know there are exceptions, I am interested in the vast majority here who definately are not the exception to the

>rule.

 

 

I think the majority of posters who are escorts and the majority of escorts who will read this board do not lie about these items. However, to attempt to answer your question, and again this is one of those issues where to attempt an answer, any answer, is far more detrimental to any escort than to anyone else.

 

However: most of the adult film entertainers and escorts I know personally and intimately do not use drugs; those who do use drugs and those whom I do not know but have heard -- again HERESAY -- that they indulge cannot possibly be doing so excessively or they would not survive in film nor would they survive long as escorts. Clearly there are exceptions, Jon Vicent, Joey Stefano and others have admitted to drug use while doing films and doing escort work. Both clearly functioned at times while using and when the drug use, as with any other addiction in ANY OTHER PROFESSION, overcame their personal abilities and qualities, they were no longer able to work successfully.

 

HIV status: I believed if asked directly by a client, most escorts whom again I know from personal experience would respond truthfully. But as I always tell EVERY single client who asks me: I would hope you are not merely going to take my word or, for that matter, the word of anyone else whom you know this casually. If it matters to you, you simply do one of two things: abstain from sex or take every single precaution you feel is necessary WITH every single person you have sex with, irrespective of their profession. There are entire scientific publications which disprove the notion that long term sero-discordant relationships eventually result in HIV infection to the negative partner. This research clearly shows that it is possible to have sex with minimal or no risk. If that risk is still too great, abstain. I do not believe anyone is holding a loaded gun to another's head to force the issue.

 

There are obvious reasons to use a different name. However, it may surprise you to know how often, particularly among the younger escorts, is the inclination to use either a middle name, a nick name or something which IS in fact or is close to the real name. In addition, for the escorts who come to escorting from or who wish to engage in adult film work, often those companies are the ones who force the issue of name changes, not the escorts.

 

Age is something that probably every single person on this board has at some point in their life had occassion to be dishonest about, from the young escort who was not yet "legal" to the older man who would like to be younger. Please continue reading.

 

Age as well as background is part and parcel of the fantasy aspect of being a good companion. If it is only for a short period, say an hour, it is simply a performance both physical and mental. However, for those of us who engage in longer sessions, particularly those of us who travel with our clients or spend the night with them, the background is very close to the truth.

 

I hope you find these comments satisfactory. I am, after all, just a simple ho with a heart of tarnished gold.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest jeffOH

RE: Games People Play

 

I use my real name, I will be 39 years old on June 3, I don't smoke cigarettes and I quit drinking April 26th, 1988. I smoke pot, I never lie about my HIV status(NEG)and I don't lie about my background.

 

As far as other escorts, most that I know aren't as open about their occupation as I. They use fake names and tell people they are "self-employed".;-) I know escorts who subtract a whole decade from their age and have totally fabricated "escort personalities" under which they post on this site to the obvious delight of many who seem to enjoy their self-promotion and NEVER see past it.

 

I guess I realized several years ago that it is enough to just be "ME". I save any fantasies for one-on-one relationships with my clients IF that's what they desire.

 

I also realize that not all escorts are comfortable with my approach to our profession. But, I believe if it is to become "honorable" and hopefully in my lifetime decriminalized across this country, honesty and openness will be a big part of that process.

 

JEFF

[email protected]

Link to comment
Share on other sites

>You lie about your age, your name, your background, your

>drug use, your HIV status -is it due to embarassment? After

>all most of you claim that you are in a honorable profession

>so my the games?

 

To make more money, you twat. All business people lie, sometimes big ones, sometimes small ones (I missed that meeting with the new big account, not because I missed the flight, but because the FLIGHT DEPARTED LATE). In business you want to come across as competent as possible; in ALL business. Sometimes it takes white lies, and sometimes it takes an escort claiming he doesn't use steroids when in fact you can spot his fucking 'roid gut from space.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest DCeBOY

who the fuck are you to tell me what i lie about?

the ONLY thing i don't do is give people my real name. trust me, it isn't easy for most americans to pronounce properly & it is a bit unusual. for your comfort & my privacy, you don't need to know it.

 

so, am i embarassed? well, yes, i'm embarassed FOR YOU because you assume that everyone is a liar. i get tested regularly for HIV. if anyone wants to verify that, you're welcome to schlep over to whitman-walker with me.

 

what an ass!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest pshaw

RE: Games People Play

 

Escorts certainly aren't the only people who may fudge their background, age, physical attributes, etc. - try any gay or singles bar, chat room or ad in the personals (surely there must be SOME dicks shorter than 7 inches minimum). ;) I think slight exaggeratation of attributes is expected. The problems usually arise with gross misrepresentation, which hasn't occured with most of the escorts I have hired. And I have never asked an escort about his HIV status nor have I been asked for my HIV status - we play with the assumption that either one of us might be positive.

 

It's easy to understand why many don't use their real full names. For many it's a part-time job at best, escorting is not their life's ambition, and when they move on it's easier to shed a false/modified identity. Last time I checked, society in general doesn't exactly accept escorting as an acceptable profession. Most of the escorts I have hired were either college students or had regular jobs. I doubt that most prospective or current employers look favorably on a resume that includes escorting under "work experience."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest roninx

For the most part, I would think that it was for anonymity and not embarrasment.

 

I would think that most escorts don't use their real name simply to be anonymous. Some have other jobs so they don't want to be "recognized" after all that would affect his other jobs should someone there find out. Most want to keep a low profile. . .either because he doesn't want friends/family to recognize him or (after all it is technically illegal) to keep a clear line between his work life and his personal life.

 

This might also be why they might lie about their background (although I don't think most do. . .you can just simply not talk about your background if you don't want to do so).

 

The reason I think they might lie about age (probably the same reason that they might lie about "size") is basically due to the nature of the industry. After all youth (and size) is everything in this culture and there is a lot of pressure to be young and "virile." (I like a mature man myself }> )

 

I don't think most lie about HIV status, so this isn't even an issue.

 

If I had to choose, I would think that if an escort was to lie it would probably be about the age thing (even with size you can only exaggerate a little, you can say 9 and show up with only 5). Age can't really be verified and actually who really cares about age. If the escort performs as specified, I don't care about the age.

 

I honestly don't think escort lie about anything else, so I don't think you should generalize. This may have been your experience but then maybe you haven't been choosing the right escorts.;-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have agreed with virtually all of the reasons given. Someday, probably on my way to or back from Wisconsin, I have simply got to meet Jeff.

 

Since my regular job is as an actor, I see many similarities between the two jobs. In acting, the question isn't Are you a certain age, but Can you pass for a certain age? And, just as in acting, we (as escorts) aren't selling truth (See the many threads about making friends/lovers with escorts.), we are selling fantasies. Each of us has an individual mythos which is as exciting and as sexy as all of the prefabricated ones to a large number of people, but it seems to me that the vast majority of clients (present company possibly excluded) have bought into one or more of the prepackaged mythos(es?) which have been created for them by writers (mostly of fiction) and photographers (with carefully chosen poses and props). Even if they haven't, explaining our own personal mythos takes too long - It's not the quick fix y'all want, it would be more like a dating service. And many of us already have a lover, thank you very much, and aren't trying to figure out how to work you into our realities any further than most of you are interested in going anyway. (One reason you hire us is to sidestep any possibility of accidently starting a new relationship, for one reason or another.) Since you are not actually looking for truth, why do you criticize us for not providing it to you? I think the poster who said that this all works unless the escort and the mythos he is trying to project are too disparate came on the mark on that one.

 

And DiSantis spoke so true (as he almost invariably does) when he says that this question is a minefield for any escort to answer in any way. Which is born out by the fact that you could have told yourselves which minefield loving escorts would bother to answer it, and indeed they have.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest roninx

I concur with the comparison to acting. I did an internship on soap opera in NY.

 

I worked in the casting office. This isn't nice but basically, because they get so many pictures of people wanting to get on the show that they immediately categories you by leading actor/actress and "character" actor/actress and then by how old you look.

 

They didn't read any of the description material they just filed you by your picture. So how you looked was very important. (how sad:-( )

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Probably not a good idea to generalize when you are writing something that is not very favorable. I think your wording may easily offend someone.

 

I am curious, when you hire an escort, do you present your resume or last three years tax returns and your drivers license before you begin your session?

 

What is your reasoning for the escorts true name?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

>Probably not a good idea to generalize when you are writing

>something that is not very favorable. I think your wording

>may easily offend someone.

>

>I am curious, when you hire an escort, do you present your

>resume or last three years tax returns and your drivers

>license before you begin your session?

>

>What is your reasoning for the escorts true name?

 

Well, to be kind here, when I hire someone I am paying the bill so they answer to me. I like to know who I am doing business with.

 

I have everybody's true name (at least the ones I want to have anyway). I feel that if you're "legit" there is no need to hide behind a charade.

 

Cheers! Ritchie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

>I have everybody's true name (at least the ones I want to

>have anyway). I feel that if you're "legit" there is no need

>to hide behind a charade.

 

Personal safety is the "need", and you know that. After all, You Might Be Giants. Why are you pretending to be thick headed?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

>Well, to be kind here, when I hire someone I am paying the

>bill so they answer to me. I like to know who I am doing

>business with.

>

Actually, you sound far from kind. I'm a client also, but never thought that paying the bill got me anymore than giving the service--why would it? Unless of course you are really "overpaying" and somehow I doubt that :7 But assuming fair value is exchanged, why would "paying the bill" make you think you are in control or can speak or treat others whom you hire as lesser people--which you certainly sound as if you do--but I should give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are not the self important asshole you sound like, but really someone that put on the original post solely for the purpose of pretending to be an arrogant prick just to "stir turds" a little.

 

I really hope that is the case, otherwise (here is where nicer people would say they feel sorry for you, but not me :) ) you sound as if you actually deserve to live with you, and aren't too happy about it. :+ so "Cheers, Richie"

 

--Flower ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest dave_nyc

Ritchie, I'm wondering what you meant to accomplish with this thread, other than bear-baiting? Certainly some escorts lie, just like some people lie. Surely no one who's been around the block a few times (as almost anyone posting/reading this site has been) would leave himself vulnerable in a way that depended on truth from anyone.

 

Personally, I would like to believe that everyone with whom I deal is a decent human being - but I smile as I type this, as that is unlikely at the least. But I don't see that I gain from assuming that everyone here is out to screw me. Do you?

 

There was a lady I once knew who told me that "anyone can act well when things are going well; the trick is behaving well under stress." For some reason that comes to mind.

 

Dave

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What is all this shit about?? ...lie about name? How many of us respondents use our real name on this site? How many escorts know particulars about you?

 

...HIV status? If it's an issue-- discuss it. I know mine, and if asked by anyone--I'll respond truthfully. When my sister found out that I am a gay man-- she, on two occasions, inquired about my status. At one time I was quite curt and responded-- What's yours! Today the question is not asked, but if it were-- I'd ask her about her inquisitiveness and curiosity and then respond truthfully.

 

If an escort or anyone formed a bond with you; then perhaps you two could talk about these features as well as other issues, honestly, but until then-- what the hell, and what the fuck in regard to this initial thread???

Link to comment
Share on other sites

>>I have everybody's true name (at least the ones I want to

>>have anyway). I feel that if you're "legit" there is no need

>>to hide behind a charade.

>

>Personal safety is the "need", and you know that. After

>all, You Might Be Giants. Why are you pretending to be

>thick headed?

 

Rod, remember that head's up to the d-man I tried so hard to do? Do you remember those fun days? Isn't there a song that goes "won't they every listen?" Anyway, they're back and this time I don't give a fuck, I tried twice in the past now it's on his own :(

 

How can we help our own when we're too busy fighting each other?

 

Cheers! Ritchie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest regulation

I assume most escorts who participate here don't reveal their identities for the same reason most clients who participate here -- including you -- don't reveal theirs. Notwithstanding all the blather about this being a respectable business, none of us -- again, including you -- want anyone and everyone to know that we are involved in one way or another in prostitution. You mentioned elsewhere that you used to be in a relationship with an escort. Does he tell everyone what he does? Do you? So far you haven't even mentioned his working name. Why not? Are you embarrassed?

 

As for the rest, it's as Rod says. Escorts often don't tell the truth about their personal characteristics because they think they can make more money if they don't. They get away with it because what they do is not regulated :-). A car dealer who lies about the age of the models he sells or leases could find himself in a great deal of trouble. But there are no consequences for an escort who does that. Right?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmm, kinda hard to regulate an illegal activity, neh (or borderline legal if you accept 'money for time' rather than 'money for sex')? Not to mention that any regulation would run bang into an escort's understandable desire to maintain his personal privacy.

 

Also, not sure I agree with your comparison of age of escorts to the age of cars. After all, the age of a car directly impacts how well it can be expected to run in the future while the age of an escort is largely irrelevant to the mutual experience of sex. Once I found out an escort was actually eight years older than claimed in his website. But the encounter was great, so what did it matter (actually, it had the very positive effect of forcing me to re-evaluate how I screen escorts into making age far less of a factor)?

 

Frankly, I think that tangible (and hence easily regulated) factors like name, age, background, even drug use (after all do you know for sure that your lawyer's not a compulsive gambler or your accountant is not an alcoholic?) is less important than the experience that escorts provide. That's where this site is so important because it does provide clients a method of evaluating and sharing these experiences (meaning escorts are less likely 'to get away with it'). And if the thought of a government agency trying to duplicate Hooboy's work doesn't make you laugh (or at least smile), then you're not having near enough fun in your life...

 

Just my $0.02 ($0.03 Canadian)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Respectable Business

 

>I assume most escorts who participate here don't reveal their identities for the same reason most clients who

>participate here -- including you -- don't reveal theirs. Notwithstanding all the blather about this being a

>respectable business, none of us -- again, including you -- want anyone and everyone to know that we are involved in one

>way or another in prostitution. You mentioned elsewhere that you used to be in a relationship with an escort. Does

>he tell everyone what he does? Do you? So far you haven't even mentioned his working name. Why not? Are you

>embarrassed?

>

 

I have yet to see a post where an escort, nor do I personally know an escort, who refers to adult

companionship as a respectable business. Is it a legitimate service? Of course. Is it a valuable

service? Definitely. Is is necessary in our culture and society? Undoubtedly.

 

I could continue on in this vein but I believe my point is made.

 

There are larger issues in this thread, as with many other threads on this Board, as with any

number of issues one could explore on the world wide web, which say more about our culture

and society than these particular issue. In this instance, I do not address my comments solely to

gay male culture but to life as we know it. Profit is considered a good ambition. Success is not

measured by how we contribute to one another, what we do for our community or how we treat

one another as individuals. Rather, our society and our culture is based on the Marketplace.

Commerce is highly prized and valued. Gentlemen like Kenneth Lay of Enron are paid enormous

sums of money and people like William Gates can write a best selling book because they are

considered modern day heroes. Sports athletes, prior to September 11th, as well as film and

television actors as well, were praised, sought after and emulated simply for being famous, and

rarely less for their talent and abilities.

 

In our profession we are involved in an exchange. To the extent that our society and culture

remains one where pieces of paper are assigned a value and human beings are assigned worth

on the basis of rules and regulations which have no basis on human need or human dignity, this

exchange will continue -- as will other exchanges with a basis on commerce, profit and what the

marketplace will allow.

 

The point is, are we honorable men and therefore practicing in an honorable way. It is my

experience that this is more often the case than not and those men who have no honor and who

do not treat their clients with care and with respect will, one way or another, find themselves lost in

this culture and find themselves professional failures, not merely in this profession but most likely

in any other endeavor they would choose to pursue in such an inappropriate and abusive

manner.

 

 

If you cannot be with the one you love, go after the rocket scientist.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest regulation

>Hmm, kinda hard to regulate an illegal activity

 

Indeed it is.

 

 

>Also, not sure I agree with your comparison of age of

>escorts to the age of cars. After all, the age of a car

>directly impacts how well it can be expected to run in the

>future while the age of an escort is largely irrelevant to

>the mutual experience of sex.

 

 

If we all believed that, it would make no sense for any escort to pretend in his ads or communications that he is younger than he is. But the undeniable fact that many do pretend is powerful evidence that we do not all believe as you do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest regulation

RE: Respectable Business

 

>I have yet to see a post where an escort, nor do I

>personally know an escort, who refers to adult

>companionship as a respectable business. Is it a legitimate

>service? Of course. Is it a valuable

>service? Definitely. Is is necessary in our culture and

>society? Undoubtedly.

>

>I could continue on in this vein but I believe my point is

>made.

 

Not really. Do you know the definition of the English adjective "respectable"? My dictionary defines it as "worthy of respect" or "decent or correct in character or behavior." Is it your position that neither you nor any escort you know thinks of escorting as a business that fits that definition?

 

>The point is, are we honorable men and therefore practicing

>in an honorable way. It is my

>experience that this is more often the case than not and

>those men who have no honor and who

>do not treat their clients with care and with respect will,

>one way or another, find themselves lost in

>this culture and find themselves professional failures, not

>merely in this profession but most likely

>in any other endeavor they would choose to pursue in such an

>inappropriate and abusive

>manner.

 

Really? Is that what has happened to Anthony Holloway?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

>If we all believed that, it would make no sense for any

>escort to pretend in his ads or communications that he is

>younger than he is. But the undeniable fact that many do

>pretend is powerful evidence that we do not all believe as

>you do.

 

Fair point, 'cause as I pointed out, it took a personal experience to open my eyes about 'older' escorts. However, I think we also have to recognize that this phenomenon is not restricted to escorts alone. Lots of people I know lie about their age (or refuse to talk about it) and for much the same reasons, to make themselves more desirable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Stephan-Lacoste

>Probably not a good idea to generalize when you are writing

>something that is not very favorable. I think your wording

>may easily offend someone.

>

>I am curious, when you hire an escort, do you present your

>resume or last three years tax returns and your drivers

>license before you begin your session?

>

>What is your reasoning for the escorts true name?

 

It is a very bad idea to generalize the way Ritchie does. That is pissing me off that people takes few cases for a generality.

I guess to come up with a thread like that , means to me that he got just bad experiences or something .

But who cares what is my our real name ? Who care really ? Just those who become one day stalkers and can't stop calling us tons of times and can not stop emailing us. They are those guys who one day really realized we were just there for a fuck and who also realize they got fucked over by their own desire and imagination of being in love ( possession) with the gorgoeus guys they paid to be with but could only be one time fuck and nothing else.

Having our real name is too much. Dangerous. I would only give my name by respect to those I call friends and that is all.

Paying for my services means only paying for what I do and that is all. It does not mean you are paying the right to owe me or anything else.

Ritchie, If you really think that all of us do lie the way you say, well it means to me you are can't be honest with yourself and your life is full of lies and others. Cause seriously, when you see people's reactions, you are the only one taking too seriously what I call "someone's private life". No right to judge people the way you do.

Now to answer to your question if I may, I'm not Embarassed about anything you are asking about, cause I do not lie, I have no reason to, I just hide my personnal life to those stalkers and that is all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share


×
×
  • Create New...