To Fuck Or Not To Fuck..That is Tha Question?

[Guest JON1265]

>If an escort does not perform the basic pre-explained

>activites for the evening..should a client hold back on the

>total fee and give what he feels he should pay or should the

>client give the escort the money and then ask for a

>discount?

 

The client should do with what he feels comfortable with...I usually hire with an agency and the one time I had issue with an escort I called the agency and complained...they asked what I wanted to do...I offered half of the fee and they agreed....they weren't happy but then again neither was I.

 

 

>

>I am talkin bout the ususal: less than an hour, limp dicks,

>promises to kiss than won't etc..

>

>Since I never give the fee up front.. I am always in the

>position to slip in more if he was outstanding or ask him

>what he thinks he should be paid and than give him and

>agreeable amount. I wondered how others have handled this.

 

Well, if you give the escort the full amount of his fee - I doubt very much he would offer some back to you as a discount for nor peforming...if he is not living up to expectations it is best to call him on it when it happens and take it from there....

 

Let's face it - it is ALWAYS going to be awkward addressing these issues with an escort...that's why this board is so important to clients.

[Godiva]

If an escort does not perform the basic pre-explained activites for the evening..should a client hold back on the total fee and give what he feels he should pay or should the client give the escort the money and then ask for a discount?

 

I am talkin bout the ususal: less than an hour, limp dicks, promises to kiss than won't etc..

 

Since I never give the fee up front.. I am always in the position to slip in more if he was outstanding or ask him what he thinks he should be paid and than give him and agreeable amount. I wondered how others have handled this.

[Guest jizzdepapi]

papi fucks up

 

once papi didn't deliver so on the way to use the ATM around the corner (which I really didn't need to use), I decided to settle up in the hotel lobby in earshot of the front desk and the security guard. anything with a witness is a good idea.

 

i gave papi half. he was not pleased.

[guyinsf]

I hesitate to go here (and please don't take this personally, since I don't know you, Godiva), but before not paying the agreed upon amount due to dissatisfaction, I think it would only be fair to try to address the situation before the date ends. Comment on what the promises were and what is not being delivered (in a nice way). One might hear that one's breath stinks, and that is why the escort isn't kissing. (I avoided my favorite escort's kisses one night because his breath reeked of onion and garlic, which did not go away after basic oral hygiene.) If his dick isn't getting hard, perhaps you are doing something that is making it difficult for the escort to get and maintain an erection (talking to him in a way that he does not like, touching him in a way that isn't pleasurable for him).

 

True, a good escort should be able to address these issues directly in order to change the circumstances that are causing him not to perform. Not all escorts have good communication skills, however, so it may fall upon the client to do this. A good escort should also realize that if he just cannot perform for this particular client, he should acknowledge that (in a way that is about his own feelings, not being critical or demeaning of the client) and suggest that they end the date then and there at some reduced rate.

 

Then again, there are guys who are dishonest and just don't intend to deliver what was promised. If you don't get what you bargained for, and the escort isn't even staying around to try to remedy the situation, then I think it's fair to treat him the way he has treated you (he didn't keep his part of the agreement and you are not keeping yours; he delivered "half" of what he promised and you are delivering "half" of what you promised to pay). I think most clients (myself included) would probably just pay the full rate and chalk it up to experience. I like the suggestion of going to a hotel lobby to settle things up. I almost always hire "in" at my apartment. Not only is no one likely to hear such a conversation in my lobby, but I really wouldn't want my neighbors to witness me negotiating with an escort in the lobby of our building.

[Guest jbart39]

Good issue. Sometimes I've been tight and, frankly, couldn't blame the trick of the moment when he couldn't quite pry it in. Then again, if he's got great technique, he can have you begging for it -- see my review of Adam #3 from Chelsea Guys.

Some guys think all they have to do is ram it in there to keep their end up, as it were. That ain't always fun.

But there have been some who don't seem to try very hard to get it that way. I don't book them again. Doesn't the disclaimer about fees being paid for time only and not for sex preclude the right to expect anything specific?

[Guest Ant415]

You really need to make sure the escort did not do some promised activity, and that is not just an issue of him not meeting your expectation. If you feel he wasn't really a hot-passionate fuck as claim, that is subjective. But, something black and white like a top not getting hard, or clearly mis-represented himself, is bit more clear. I think the client needs to self-reflect to see if he was cause for any problem (dirty hole, bad breathe, drinking, etc).

 

I've had bad escorts in the past, either physically unappealing or their attitude sucked. These guys were years ago, when I first learned of this business. I didn't make any issue as they were on the low end of the rate scale. You get what you pay for.

 

Last summer I hired someone at the high end. He clearly could not perform. I was worried it was me, not being clean, etc. However, I know that wasn't the case as during the date he said how nice I smelled.

 

I hate confrontation, so I didn't mention my dissatisfaction during the date. I walked away really pissed that I spend $250. When paying $250+ I think we have a right to get our simple expectations met and have a good time. Before the date I tactfully hinted that his rate was much higher than local, and he replied with confidence that he is good at what he does, caring, and has quite a clientele ( this market is not like NYC levels). He said you get what you pay for.

 

After an exchange of emails he offered a refund.

 

I suggest writing the escort and explaining exactly where he failed. If he has any ethics he will at least admit the faults.

[Godiva]

jbart39..thanxs for the reponse..I do believe however that if there is some disclaimer it is out the window once the client and the escort agree on specifics. I also believe that many of these ripp-off escorts count on us to pay up and do nothing. They do it for as long as they can or until BoN finds out:-) then they change their name and alter their pics and ripp-off a few more..

[J-Man]

I have sort of a related issue that I've always wanted to bring up... so maybe this is the time and place.

 

Personally, I don't care about anal sex-- but if I'm going to do it, I've always been the top (because I've never been able to bottom without a lot of pain.)

 

That said, I like to have a good time, and anal sex doesn't need to be part of the mix. However, the vast majority of escorts out there, and an even larger majority of the escorts who might appeal to me, seem to be exclusively tops.

 

Now, I understand that one can use the services of an escort who is a top and not engage in fucking... but there are two issues:

 

1. What other activities is the top not willing to engage in?

 

For example, I really like a lot of body contact, kissing, probing, etc. I can deal with this situation easily by reading the usually excellent reviews on this site, or by discussing it with the escort up front.

 

2. Are we really paying for the escort's time, or the escort's PERFORMANCE? (This is the connection to the original post, of course.)

 

If, as the original poster seems to imply, the fee is for the "topping", so to speak, because that may often be the most "challenging" activity for the escort to perform, then I wonder why I would pay the full price when there was no "topping" involved?

 

I remember years ago reading a "Menu of Services" from a legal brothel in Nevada. On the menu were listed various sexual activities, along with a corresponding prices. And, just like at McDonald's, there were combos. (Although I think the concept of "Supersizing" would have a different meaning with the ladies, and an even MORE different one with male escorts!)

 

It would seem that this would be a fairer way to charge for "services." I have seen certain escort's ads and websites that did list their services with prices, although the one I can immediately recall was rather crude, such as "You suck me...$50; I fuck you ... $100," etc.)

 

Any thoughts?

[guyinsf]

If escorts were really just being paid for their time, there wouldn't be so many of them. How many of us are actually going to hire someone for $150 or more just to spend time with them? You can hang out at a gym or somewhere else if you just want to look at beautiful men. You can also pay a therapist or psychiatrist if you really need to talk with someone. This "being paid for time" is just a disclaimer some guys use in order to create a veneer of being within the law. If an escort regularly met with clients, took their money, and did not have sex with them, that escort would not be in business very long.

 

While I can understand, in a very general way, altering one's prices depending on the "difficulty" of the call, I can't quite see it getting as delineated as $X for oral on me, $Y for oral both ways, $Z for me to fuck you, etc. In this sense I think escorts really ARE being paid for their time. If an escort is willing to (or interested in) fucking, then of course he should be paid his regular fee, regardless of whether the client actually wants to have anal sex. I have encountered "oral only" escorts, however, who generally do set their fees lower, probably realizing that their sexual limitations will also limit their client base unless they charge less. I have also, however, seen guys online who think they should be paid $200 for lying back and getting blown (and some of these guys aren't even particularly attractive in my book). I am reminded of the phrase "trade" when I encounter guys like this and I cannot help but be amused and astounded that someone would actually be paid top drawer fee for allowing his dick to be sucked.

[MiamiLooker]

>

>After an exchange of emails he offered a refund.

>

 

Did you actually get the refund???

[CT Dick]

à la carte

 

> "You suck me...$50; I fuck you ... $100," etc.)

>

>Any thoughts?

 

Yes, an à la carte menu can end up being very expensive, especially when I'm making the choices in the heat of passion and my cock is doing the thinking, not my brain.

 

Dick

[J-Man]

RE: à la carte

 

LOL...

 

Then you'd better go for the combo meal.

 

Of course they could also charge like restaurants that serve dim sum and count up the plates at the end of the meal--- I guess you could count condoms, or cum stains!

[Godiva]

J-man... in answer to one of your questions..I believe that the "paying for escorts time" is for the law to see and everything you discuss (including what he will perform is mutually agreed upon.)

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

to TOP or not to TOP ....

 

There are some really good points made but many more questions raised than answered. I believe most of us who post here with regularly, at least as far as I can see and in my own personal but humble opinion, have a concern for our clients and our reputation. I believe all of us for the most part adhere to the concept that we are being paid for our time and what we agree to do with another consenting adult is solely the concern of those two consenting adults.

 

Unfortunately, like so many other issues in society, this becomes one more of integrity and commerce than anything else. I make it a point to spend time conversing with my clients, in order to determine that the gentlemen is someone I can work with. I have yet to have an experience where it was made clear to me that the client was in any way not satisfied and I believe this is because of the energy and effort I spend. I would think on the vantage point of the clients, it makes sense to do likewise. Conceptually, dealing with an agency or service would ameliorate some of these concerns, but that is not always possible for every client and for every market. In addition, a service or agency could just as easily respond with less integrity as one might like as might an individual. Be that as it may, I believe any escort values his reputation and I also, as I have expressed elsewhere and often, think communication is the key:

 

>After an exchange of emails he offered a refund.

>

>I suggest writing the escort and explaining exactly where he failed. If he has any ethics he will at least admit the faults.

 

Any agreement that is reached should be reasonable honored. If there are valid reasons why the agreements cannot be consumated, these reasons should be discusses and a mutually satisfactory resolution should be arrived at. However, what happens when one party feels it was wronged and the other party does not? Do we take this to binding arbitration in front of this board? A jury of our peers?

 

This also needs to be seen as an issue that can impact the escort as well as the client.

 

In a recent instance, a client and I spent slightly over 30 minutes together doing what two mutually consenting adults do. At the point where I was to top him, the client in spite of my request that he do so, was not fully prepared. We were at my apartment as the client wanted the savings of an incall visit. I therefore gave him the option of how he wanted to proceed: did he wish to continue after more preparation, did he wish to do something else, or did he wish to reschedule. He choose to reschedule. No money exchanged hands. Approximately ten days passed and I sent a very polite e-mail asking if he was interested in finishing what we started. We scheduled an appointment for that Saturday morning. Unfortunately, I only have this client's e-mail and no telephone number and had a emergency to deal with late that night and early morning -- this was the night my friend's car was towed and his client refused to pay him and I had to go rescue the friend and deal with the situation as well as the car in the middle of the night. I was unable to advise the client until he returned home and found an e-mail waiting from me. The client politely replied that this was understable and we would reschedule upon his return from a ten day vacation. This was approximately two months ago. He went out of town and has obviously since returned. He has yet to contact me and I am reluctant to contact him. This is kind of like ordering a Big Mac and super sized fries and returning half the fries and part of the big mac because you are fuller than you thought you were and can not eat the entire food and saying you will finish it later and pay for it then, is it not?

 

I think we all can have bad days and, if so, we should attempt to make amends for such instances. This should, however, be a two way street.

 

 

Love is no substitute for sex.

 

http://photos.yahoo.com/franco4hire

[Godiva]

RE: to TOP or not to TOP ....

 

I had a instance a year ago with an escort who said he was a bottom. He was clean and all but we were only at it for about 5min and then he said he couldn't do it anymore he was sore...

 

We dressed he suggested me keeping 60 dollars which was nice of him..He worked for Maximum Escorts and said he would explain to them.

 

Do any of you Escorts atomatically reduce when you don't perform??

[Guest Ant415]

He offered to send a cheque first...or buy me a date with another escort.. I was very reluctant. Then he offered to take me to dinner next time one of us in each other's town, just as two guys, no sex. He seemed nice/mature, and we had a lot to talk about. He felt bad, said I was nice and cleary did not perform.

 

So for the dinner, a few tries when I was in town, he was busy all the time.

 

So, I sent an email, said we can never match times, so, I'll take the cheque (up to him to figure the percentage). He graciously sent a bank cheque for the full amount.

[Godiva]

Ant415..you were one of the lucky ones..Wow what a story:-)

[FrancoDiSantisxxx]

RE: to TOP or not to TOP ....

 

I have personally never felt the need to reduce for lack of performance but as I pointed out in my post, I did not charge this gentlemen for half of a session which included doing everything BUT my topping him and I have done similar arrangements with clients. This particular instance was the only one in which I have received no type of recompense for my trouble and courtesy.

 

Now, if I had hired someone to bottom and they could not or I had hired them to top, and they could not get hard or perform, I would certainly feel less than satisfied to say the least and reluctant to pay full price.

 

 

If you cannot be with the one you love, love the one who satisfies.

[Godiva]

RE: to TOP or not to TOP ....

 

Thanxs Franco for the response..

 

Unfortunately most clients would rather pay the escort the full amount rather than create a stink. Some escorts know this and continue to do this behavior before the "New In This Town" or the "Name Change" happens.

[Godiva]

A Discount??

 

I was with a popular "versatle bottom" that I have been planning for about 2wks. Once I arrived at his apt it was filthy and he didn't look at all "ready"

 

Well since that "just woke up" look turns me on, I proceeded to get him ready for a pounding. within 4 min..blahhhh. He wasn't ready. And this time I wanted to leave early. He wanted full pay up front and said he would offer me a sizable discount next time (ha). I am sure if he were clothed he would have been physical but I was up and outta there. I left him 50 bucks and told him I will take my discount now and I might call him again. I told him I didn't want to waste anymore of his time or mine. He called me a few choice words as I briskly headed out the door..

 

I will do a review on him too.

 

And how was your night!!!