Masseur safety

[Dfwguy]

Genuinely curious here...

 

Caveat - before any of you crazies jump down my throat - I get it everyone is responsible for their own safety and health...

 

what are peoples thoughts on Masseurs who do not disclose health statuses - I know it’s an odd question and there have been times when I have a asked before I hired if the masseur neg or poz or undetectable and if they had a recent std panel done and more recently about covid... i have had several who were upfront and gave info and I have had others who said “we aren’t having sex So why does it matter”. Well does it matter?? What’s the consensus here? I would venture to guess a good portion of us are married and discreet / careful in our adventures- some are more risky than others... but I feel like I have a right to ask and know... the reason is that I have had several masseurs where under no insensuation have gone from 0-100 erotically where I wasn’t interested and I wasn’t ok with it.... I stopped it ... but at that point had they touched certain Things together ... I could have easily contracted something ... I get even more concerned (recently) when I stumbled upon some videos of a masseur I have used in the past and another masseur I have considered often engaging in a ton of behaviorsexually that i steer away from. I know I don’t know all their lives and all the lives of every masseur but is it my right to know ..... and then make my own choice on the risk I take? I would offer the same if a masseur asked me (if I was a provider that went above and beyond I really would have a hard time doing so with every client not knowing....

 

Not looking for argumentative more what the personal preferences are.... I brought it up to a friend who chuckled and said it’s ur job to protect ur health not their job to protect yours.... I quickly responded “tell that to the mask movement who believe it’s my job to wear a mask to protect others - we can’t have it both ways” either it’s their job to protect themselves from health issues or it’s all our jobs to protect others meaning even sex and disclosing everything to protect fellow man.... aka I just slept with and kissed 12 guys so I’m at risk of STD’s and covid - proceed at your own risk.

[allyouknow]

If this is a concern then I would suggest only going for massages with purely therapeutic and keeping undergarments on. The responsibility is on you not them regarding YOUR safety.

[+ EVdude]

what are peoples thoughts on Masseurs who do not disclose health statuses

To me, it’s simple: I have the right to ask. The masseur has the right to answer or not. It’s up to me what to do with the response or non-response. And, it’s a two-way street. I’ve had masseurs ask me my status.

[thedanNYC]

Your question suggests that you're hiring masseurs from certain websites, and seeing them under circumstances, that imply that sexual activity might happen/is welcome during the massage. So I would either accept the risks that come with that sexual activity, eliminate those risks by changing my hiring practices, or greatly reduce those risks by being upfront with masseurs concerning what sexual activity I'm okay with (e.g., hands only).

 

I wouldn't bother trying to address STD risks by asking masseurs about their status (or rely on their answers) because some masseurs are going to be dishonest and some are going to be mistaken.

[+ nycman]

I suggest you just assume every massage therapist has every

comminucable disease you have ever heard of.....and proceed

accordingly.

 

I’m only being slightly sarcastic. If it means that much to you, then

you have to integrate the “worse case scenario’ into your calculations.

Edited April 6, 2021 by nycman

[Dfwguy]

My guess is that every one of you would just say oh well if after the fact you found out the guy knew he had herpes and didn’t disclose when asked?

 

so far each response hasn’t addressed the question - should they disclose ? I just find it funny - especially this year where I’ve masseurs be overly concerned with Covid disclosure - which is a cold/flu and demand safety but all else is off the table....

[Wanderoz]

My guess is that every one of you would just say oh well if after the fact you found out the guy knew he had herpes and didn’t disclose when asked?

 

so far each response hasn’t addressed the question - should they disclose ? I just find it funny - especially this year where I’ve masseurs be overly concerned with Covid disclosure - which is a cold/flu and demand safety but all else is off the table....

Because most people are dealing in fantasy and facts come somewhere down the line. Little Head conquers Big Head and Big Head thinks backwards.

[CuriousByNature]

My guess is that every one of you would just say oh well if after the fact you found out the guy knew he had herpes and didn’t disclose when asked?

 

so far each response hasn’t addressed the question - should they disclose ? I just find it funny - especially this year where I’ve masseurs be overly concerned with Covid disclosure - which is a cold/flu and demand safety but all else is off the table....

I think it is responsible for the masseur to disclose if the massage is moving towards something more. I don't think a masseur should feel compelled to disclose anything until/unless such a point is reached. We hear about people having flings with their electrician or gardener, but it would be inappropriate to ask them about their health status when seeking their services. While massage is inherently more intimate than electrical work, I still think it would be an overstep to ask them about their status when reaching out. And as you have acknowledged, it is ultimately your responsibility to protect yourself. Asking someone is no guarantee that they actually know their status or will tell the truth about it, so it's important not to be lulled into a false sense of security. Granted, I have never had any experiences of the romantic sort, so perhaps my advice is misplaced.

[thedanNYC]

My guess is that every one of you would just say oh well if after the fact you found out the guy knew he had herpes and didn’t disclose when asked?

 

so far each response hasn’t addressed the question - should they disclose ? I just find it funny - especially this year where I’ve masseurs be overly concerned with Covid disclosure - which is a cold/flu and demand safety but all else is off the table....

 

Your original question was not simply whether masseurs should disclose their STD status.

 

Your question was whether masseurs should feel obligated to share sensitive health information with a random guy texting about getting a massage, even though the masseur does not yet know if the massage will involve sexual activity, just because said random guy wants to allegedly rely on that information to decide whether to book a session given that he is afraid of catching an STD if there is sexual activity. We did answer this question...and I'll copy/paste a line from @CuriousByNature's response that summarizes the gist of what others have said: "Asking someone is no guarantee that they actually know their status or will tell the truth about it, so it's important not to be lulled into a false sense of security." So, you can ask. You may or may not get an answer. The masseur is free to choose which way to go based on how he expects the session to go. After all, you're risking catching herpes if you engage in sexual activity...but not if the massage is strictly therapeutic.

 

Circling back to the question you didn't ask originally, I think that most non-sociopathic posters would agree that one shouldn't engage in sexual activity if one knows that there is a risk of passing an STD along to others (at least not without disclosing that risk). But everyone would also agree that the world isn't perfect and even well-intentioned people might assess risk incorrectly or even be unaware that they have STDs. So, all roads lead back to you needing to be prepared to assume the risks that come with sexual activity

 

Hope that helps.

[Wanderoz]

And you are often dealing with the consequences of volume with popular masseurs/other providers who are know to provide extras. It's always go to remember in any case of a sexual encounter with anyone, masseur or not, that you are not just with them, but also all their previous sexual partners, and the other person is dealing not just with you, but also all your previous sexual partners. PreP has lulled too many of us into a false sense of security when it comes to STIs. And I write this using my Big Head. Lol.