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When your partner finds out....


Guest michaelnnj
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LAST EDITED ON Aug-12-00 AT 11:19AM (EST)[p]I think this is an honest post, and one that worries me also. I don't have a lot of experience yet, but I do like the anonymity thing of occasional escorts. I worry that indulging is also insulting any partner with whom I might be involved. Although I also feel that it is completely separate than my love for a partner. Is this common? It seems to be something many escorts involved in relationships handle quite well.

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LAST EDITED ON Aug-12-00 AT 02:28PM (EST)[p]LAST EDITED ON Aug-12-00 AT 02:27 PM (EST)

 

I don't know what effect hiring escorts has on the sexual element of a relationship, since I haven't tried both at the same time. I feel pretty sure that deceiving one's partner is bound to have a negative effect. I've never met anyone who liked being lied to, and there's no way to keep a secret like this from your partner without telling some lies. If hiring escorts is important to you for some reason you should make sure your partner understands that and is cool with it. If you don't you're really deceiving him about who you are.

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LAST EDITED ON Aug-12-00 AT 02:28PM (EST)[p]LAST EDITED ON Aug-12-00 AT 02:27 PM (EST)

 

I don't know what effect hiring escorts has on the sexual element of a relationship, since I haven't tried both at the same time. I feel pretty sure that deceiving one's partner is bound to have a negative effect. I've never met anyone who liked being lied to, and there's no way to keep a secret like this from your partner without telling some lies. If hiring escorts is important to you for some reason you should make sure your partner understands that and is cool with it. If you don't you're really deceiving him about who you are.

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Rod, I am glad that you are honest with your lover. I hope we all will be in the future. However, while he might be a good, levelheaded critic for you, I sincerely doubt that he is unbiased towards anything of yours. Please give him the leeway to be prejudiced in your favor. (I'm sure you already do.)

Michael, I'm sure you're both going through hell right now, but I think the two of you can make it work. One thing, please promise him that you will never bring an escort home to your marriage bed again. Your posting seems to indicate that you might have. And while I see that you have gotten good advice here, and feel personally that you did have a right to expect to find it here, I will agree that couples counselling is a good idea. I resisted it at first myself and am so very glad that my Cub was able to talk me into it.

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Rod, I am glad that you are honest with your lover. I hope we all will be in the future. However, while he might be a good, levelheaded critic for you, I sincerely doubt that he is unbiased towards anything of yours. Please give him the leeway to be prejudiced in your favor. (I'm sure you already do.)

Michael, I'm sure you're both going through hell right now, but I think the two of you can make it work. One thing, please promise him that you will never bring an escort home to your marriage bed again. Your posting seems to indicate that you might have. And while I see that you have gotten good advice here, and feel personally that you did have a right to expect to find it here, I will agree that couples counselling is a good idea. I resisted it at first myself and am so very glad that my Cub was able to talk me into it.

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