How to avoid the bait and switch?

[nomad]

Hi y'all. New to the forum (been a lurker for a bit) and new to hiring. Late bloomer. 40 yr old virgin would not be a far stretch. There seems to be a lot of catfishing and TGTBT ads out there. 3 of the 4 times I've met up with someone, the person showing up has not be the one in the pics. All 3 were certainly nothing you would kick out of bed. Far from it. All were attractive. However, each time it has happened, I lose interest. Spend more time obsessing about it rather than enjoying the experience. Hate the feeling of being had or tricked (no pun intended). What is the best way to verify someone is who they are so you don't waste your time and energy (much less money)? I've contacted a few guys that have caught my eye. I ask for a selfie with them holding up a certain number of fingers or a note with a phrase I give them. All say sure no problem....and then crickets. Love to hear what you do that works well. Looking to learn. Thanks!

[jtaq1295]

When I have met with guys who are well known to this forum, they've always been tried and true. Not all that I've lusted after I've met... but those I've met have been as predicted.

 

If your men were good....why does it matter? And how far off were they from their pics?

[InterestingGuy]

I think you’re going to get replies to your post telling you to only meet providers with good reviews On Daddy’s Review Site - and that’s solid advice. But I will try to provide some extra thoughts:

 

1) Pay attention in these forums. You will get information (in the Deli section in particular) about providers who have no reviews on the site.

 

2) If you don’t already, use the Search function in the forums to look up possible threads on a provider you are considering.

 

3) Don’t be afraid to start a thread in the Deli section asking about a specific provider. You will see many threads simply titled “411 on xxxxProvider”. You might be surprised that some Forum members have already had experience they can share about the provider that interests you.

 

4) Regarding the catfishing problem - try to think what a Catfisher would do when placing an ad - Some red flags commonly found in ads that are too good to be true could include:

 

- Very little information is provided in the ad. A catfisher is typically not going to take the time to fill out a lot of the question fields in the ad. He is also not going to write multiple paragraphs about himself. Most fake ads tend to look alike - a few great pictures with little ad copy provided.

 

- Speaking of pictures, if there is just one or two pictures, that can be a red flag. Headless pictures of a spectacular body are also common in fake ads.

 

- Pay attention to the date the ad was created. Many fake ads are “new” - and as is discussed often in the Forums - a guy creates an ad on Monday and by Wednesday he has three five-star reviews on the ad - that is unlikely to be a real provider.

[DallasClient]

Search the forums, and if you don't find them, ask in the forum if anyone has any information on them or if they appear to be TGTBT. Sometimes, you can also skype or facetime with them.

 

Are you sure they weren't the same guys? Some guys do have older photos in their ads.

[LaffingBear]

I'll add a different perspective, responding to one element of original post. Perhaps too much emphasis on the comment...

I lose interest. Spend more time obsessing about it rather than enjoying the experience. Hate the feeling of being had or tricked (no pun intended).

... given the prevalence of scams in this marketplace, if dishonesty interferes with your enjoyment... maybe you're not wired for the hired.

[The Dude]

Best advice? Do your homework.

[+ azdr0710]

I've long maintained, much to the dismay of some forum members, that some providers intentionally use others' pictures to maintain their own privacy with their own friends, family, workmates.......would be nice if they disclosed that in their ad text, but........

 

lucky that most of your imposters have at least been decent-looking in their own right......but I can see you being a bit miffed and that it distracted you during the meet......

 

good advice upthread......don't give up

[jjkrkwood]

Bait and switch is something you can avoid, since it exists and is getting more rampant... All you can do is send the imposter away when he arrives... DO NOT allow him to enter your home... Meet outside and if he is not the guy represented, Say Ba-Bye, turn your back and walk away..... Most guys feel intimidated or embarrassed to reject the guy, but lets face it, he's trying to steal your dolla's,

so don't be the fool he THINKS you ARE......

[+ Tarte Gogo]

If you have been lurking for a while, you should already know the answers to these questions. There isn’t a single month where them questions aren’t raised. And we always answer the same: research the guys’ history with other johns.

[nomad]

Thanks everyone. This forum has been very eye-opening 4 sure. Tons of insights.

[nomad]

When I have met with guys who are well known to this forum, they've always been tried and true. Not all that I've lusted after I've met... but those I've met have been as predicted.

 

If your men were good....why does it matter? And how far off were they from their pics?

It's a mental thing for sure. You get all worked up having a specific experience with the person in the pic and then it's not what you've had in your mind. The guys were comparable if not complete 141 inter-changeable, but just different. I think too much with the wrong head.

[Bacon]

And remember, that photograph that has fueled your fantasies is just a single moment in time where many variables came together. I can only think of one instance where the escort who showed up wasn’t the escort in the photographs, but even if the photograph was recent, you’re not likely to encounter the exact same pose, lighting and body conditions captured in the photograph.