Finding erotic massage

[Massageislife]

I am interested in better understanding what "erotic" in ads on rentmasseur mean to the community and also how we can help each other seek out masseurs who actually provide this service.

 

90% of the time I go for a massage that I hope will be a combination of therapeutic and erotic. (There's legit massage and escorting for one or the other by themselves.) I understand that masseurs that I get from m4m sites might not have extensive training, so I try to bear with a less skilled massage. I'm only disappointed when the advertised erotic elements don't show up at all. This has only happened a few times, but I'd like to reduce the chances as much as possible. I would really appreciate your insight into two things: 1) what you consider to be reasonable minimal expectations for an erotic massage and 2) what in an ad best ensures erotic elements and what we can do, as a community, to help each other find genuine erotic masseurs. I have a vague sense of the general consensus on these questions, but I'd like to hear from you directly.

 

1) For me, an erotic massage consists of the masseur being nude at some point in the massage (preferably from the beginning), allowing mutual touch of at least a gentle, basic sort, and non-avoidance of my ass and cock. I've enjoyed when massages take a much more sexual turn than these basics, but receiving these basics are enough for me to feel that the masseur has lived up to his end of the bargain (and has earned a higher rate than a therapeutic massage). What are your thoughts?

 

2) Many on this site recommend being clear about what you are looking for upfront, but I am not comfortable--for them or for me--communicating in that way with someone who I have never met, so I have to depend on what they say on their page and what I can glean from my brothers on this site. I generally avoid the new and much declined masseurfinder, since it gives so little information (except the price) about what one might be able to expect from a masseur. On rentmasseur, however, there are several indicators of erotic service, most of all, listing "erotic" as one of the massage types offered. I also think a price point of $150-60 or more, currently, indicates that that masseur will provide erotic basics. (Are many of us willing to pay that for a solely therapeutic massage?) Finally, shirtless photos, to me, suggest that the services will have sensual elements, and sexier photos (underwear, nudes) indicate eroticism. Do you feel that these are reliable markers that the service will be erotic?

 

Honestly, my only disappointment with this site has been some people's quick recourse to "YMMV" when questions like these arise. We all know that any two different people will interact differently, but one of the main purposes of this site is to support each other in our search for satisfying m4m massage experiences. How do we as a community define and then flag to others which providers offer erotic massage?

 

Thanks!

[GayGamer323]

Here's how I define sensual and erotic:

 

Sensual. I'm naked, they are most likely still wearing shorts, undies, jock. Maybe those will fall off during the course of the session. Generally ends happy and most likely without mutual touch.

 

Erotic. I'm naked and the masseur is naked. Masseur is not shy about brushing up against an arm or leg and uses his entire body during the session (especially fun in more of the Thai-styled massages). Mutual touching is more likely to happen, usually towards the end of the massage and just before it ends happy (sometimes for both me and the masseur).

 

I've only had a couple massages go beyond what I've described in erotic. One with a masseur who would move to oral, but this was after a couple of initial sessions (and, sadly, he's no longer with us). The other would gently caress and kiss my body all over...and I mean all over. Never had a session lead to sex and not sure how I'd handle that.

 

One last thing: it really frustrates me to no end when a masseur advertises erotic and doesn't even take off a shirt, let alone the shorts. To the point of YMMV, I know two masseurs on RentMasseur who advertise erotic and in my case it was anything but. I recently posted about one of the masseurs who has always worn a jock during the sessions. A forum member replied to me to let me know that his experience was different: they were both naked and both aroused (going so far to say that the masseur was "leaking" during the session). I later asked the masseur if I was only receiving the sensual version of his massage, but he confirmed that I was getting the erotic treatment - if he were naked than he wouldn't be able to concentrate on the massage. I've been very tempted to reach back out and let him know I know otherwise, but have decided to take my business elsewhere.

 

Hrmph!

[Bluefin]

I think the reason why so many people say “YMMV” is because a masseur is not an escort. If you want a guarantee for more than the standard HE then hire an escort.

 

I’ve had sessions with “sensual only “ providers which became what I and most people would consider erotic and vice versa.

 

I like going into a session knowing that we will both be nude, and there will be mutual touching and release. I always confirm that with a provider before booking. Anything more is based on chemistry. For me that’s part of the turn on.

[Massageislife]

Here's how I define sensual and erotic:

 

Sensual. I'm naked, they are most likely still wearing shorts, undies, jock. Maybe those will fall off during the course of the session. Generally ends happy and most likely without mutual touch.

 

Erotic. I'm naked and the masseur is naked. Masseur is not shy about brushing up against an arm or leg and uses his entire body during the session (especially fun in more of the Thai-styled massages). Mutual touching is more likely to happen, usually towards the end of the massage and just before it ends happy (sometimes for both me and the masseur).

 

I've only had a couple massages go beyond what I've described in erotic. One with a masseur who would move to oral, but this was after a couple of initial sessions (and, sadly, he's no longer with us). The other would gently caress and kiss my body all over...and I mean all over. Never had a session lead to sex and not sure how I'd handle that.

 

One last thing: it really frustrates me to no end when a masseur advertises erotic and doesn't even take off a shirt, let alone the shorts. To the point of YMMV, I know two masseurs on RentMasseur who advertise erotic and in my case it was anything but. I recently posted about one of the masseurs who has always worn a jock during the sessions. A forum member replied to me to let me know that his experience was different: they were both naked and both aroused (going so far to say that the masseur was "leaking" during the session). I later asked the masseur if I was only receiving the sensual version of his massage, but he confirmed that I was getting the erotic treatment - if he were naked than he wouldn't be able to concentrate on the massage. I've been very tempted to reach back out and let him know I know otherwise, but have decided to take my business elsewhere.

 

Hrmph!

GayGamer, I appreciate your adding to this thread!

 

Wow! Maybe I need to raise my expectations for "sensual" massage. I think of sensual massage as when the masseur does things that are less about digging into muscles and more about the feeling of hands (or face or body) on skin. I never think of HE as being part of sensual-only massage.

 

With an erotic massage, I expect that the masseur will offer HE, but unless the interactiveness between me and the masseur has been pretty intense, I don't usually go for it. I have really appreciated the occasions when a masseur took his time (and skillfulness) and insisted on finishing me. It felt nice, and I think, for some masseurs, it's a point of pride. As for masseurs who advertise "erotic" but don't get naked, I find it very frustrating. If they also keep all of themselves, besides their hands, away from me and avoid my ass and dick, I feel ripped off, plain and simple.

 

I hope you have more erotic massages that go a bit beyond. It sounds like they were fun! On the somewhat rare occasions in my experience when a massage has turned into full-on sex (sometimes that's about all it was), I've enjoyed it but not necessarily more than a good, interactive erotic massage. I think sex can happen sometimes if a masseur thinks you're open to it. Maybe your masseurs have sensed your ambivalence about going all the way.

[Massageislife]

I think the reason why so many people say “YMMV” is because a masseur is not an escort. If you want a guarantee for more than the standard HE then hire an escort.

 

I’ve had sessions with “sensual only “ providers which became what I and most people would consider erotic and vice versa.

 

I like going into a session knowing that we will both be nude, and there will be mutual touching and release. I always confirm that with a provider before booking. Anything more is based on chemistry. For me that’s part of the turn on.

Dear Bluefin, thank you for adding to this thread!

 

That use of YMMV can be useful. I had more in mind the times when people have used that to explain why a masseur advertising erotic massage didn't get naked, allow MT, and avoided the private zones. That's more a case of false advertising, in my mind. I agree that anyone hiring an erotic masseur who expects interactive sex is not being reasonable. As you say: that's what escorts are for.

 

I guess the suspense around whether there will be more than basic erotic service can be exciting, but there's no pleasure in wondering whether the advertised basic service will be provided. I guess I may find myself unsatisfied occasionally, since I just can't make myself ask for nudity, MT, and release in my communications with the masseur before we've met. Do you think it's safe for masseurs to confirm those services with strangers?

[Onamission]

I admit that I am new to this scene having only been getting massages through rentmasseur for about a year. I guess I have been fortunate. I always book for an erotic massage and they have always ended in a very SEXUAL experience if I want it to go there. I have also never been upsold. I dont go to inexpensive masseurs as I think I would be upcharged. Nonetheless, I would be highly disappointed if I bokked erotic and he wasnt naked, HE, etc. I guess that's why Im hesitant to expand my circle. I have mostly relied on PMs here.

[Massageislife]

I admit that I am new to this scene having only been getting massages through rentmasseur for about a year. I guess I have been fortunate. I always book for an erotic massage and they have always ended in a very SEXUAL experience if I want it to go there. I have also never been upsold. I dont go to inexpensive masseurs as I think I would be upcharged. Nonetheless, I would be highly disappointed if I bokked erotic and he wasnt naked, HE, etc. I guess that's why Im hesitant to expand my circle. I have mostly relied on PMs here.

Onamission, thank you for posting on this thread!

 

I think you're going after erotic massage the right way: on rentmasseur, at the correct (higher) pricepoint, and with community recommendations. You might also just be hot! You are also smart to stick with the reliable guys. Many of us have a wanderlust that occasionally has to go awry.

 

Can I ask if you request an erotic massage in advance? I always think my initial outreach (to masseurs advertising erotic massage) should be "Hello, my name is X. I am looking for a combination therapeutic and erotic massage." I just can't make myself do it. I know they know that that is what clients want.

[Onamission]

Onamission, thank you for posting on this thread!

 

I think you're going after erotic massage the right way: on rentmasseur, at the correct (higher) pricepoint, and with community recommendations. You might also just be hot! You are also smart to stick with the reliable guys. Many of us have a wanderlust that occasionally has to go awry.

 

Can I ask if you request an erotic massage in advance? I always think my initial outreach (to masseurs advertising erotic massage) should be "Hello, my name is X. I am looking for a combination therapeutic and erotic massage." I just can't make myself do it. I know they know that that is what clients want.

 

I am definitely not hot. I'm older, pretty out of shape and bald. Not a big package either. Not anyones idea of a stud. But I am open and very friendly. Generally happy all the time. I think masseurs pick up on this. They have even commented on my personality. I do alway say I am X and want to book a 60 min erotic massage. I think you need to at least put that much out there. I usually get massage details from PMs here. Been lucky so far.

[+ aeikaryoko]

I am also new to the massage scene only getting massages going on less than 3 months. Being that I’m a bigger person, in my initial email to the therapist when they don’t mention they accept people of all shapes and sizes, I always make it clear that I am big and if they have body type restrictions to please let me know. I understand that folks have problems with weight so I’m not here/there to waste anybody’s times. Luckily for me, I have not yet received any rejections other than some therapists never texting me back (that’s my queue to move along). I’m pretty considerate with my massage exchanges and like massagelife has mentioned. I’m never upfront about the details of how I would like my massage. I let the therapist give me the details and just roll with the punches.

 

Now getting to the sensual/erotic and what it means to me.

Sensual: I’m nude on the table while the therapist sometimes may have at least a pair of shorts/underwear to start off the session. During the massage, there are a light brushes here and there between my butt crack, balls, light touches to bring the tingles enough to get me turned on. MT is less inclined during the massage portion, but at times can be acceptable during the HE (depending on the therapist, they may not offer HE).

Erotic: We both start nude and the therapist goes to work with the massage. There is more touch involved and more often throughout the session. The body language is there for more mutual touch and the therapists focuses more on arousing the client and MT most times are encouraged throughout the duration and the HE for both therapist and the client.

 

I too have lucked out where the therapists offers just sensual, they’ve allowed me to touch them while they work on my climax. I do sometimes wonder if they allow such thing because during the massage itself, my hands are kept to myself like a good little schoolboy. I only get to touch when they graze my body and hand accidentally that they are more lenient with the MT towards the end. During the erotic sessions, I too keep my cool during the massage, unless there is encouragement to touch etc, that’s when I take that queue and work with it, but again reserving myself to not look like I’m just there to tug away at the therapists genitals. I’ve been pretty happy with the outcome of all massages I’ve gotten so far minus 2. Both of those times were those guys that give you the magic word “you can jerk yourself off”. Oh how I despise that phrase.

 

Sorry for this long message, but I thought some of these factors that I present may be useful for others.

[Terpmaniac]

An ex boyfriend introduced me to my very first erotic massage. I was a virgin client:)! Afterwards, I say " I don't think you are supposed to do, what you JUST DID to me during that massage!" He said, "most of my clients are old men who don't look like you." He also added something I have learned through 10 years of getting massages,he said "how erotic the massage will be depends on what is lying on the table." I knew exactly what he meant. Terp

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

My very first massage session I selected a masseur whose ad was more explicit that masseurfinder would allow these day - - something along the lines of "your hour massage will include 45 minutes of massage and finish with 15 minutes of oral play."

 

My second massage came from a guy who gave me an overview of my session when I arrived and indicated that it would include a prostate massage. Although I had been told I would get one, I was shocked when he inserted his thumb to start that section of the massage. (Not so shocked that I didn't go back four weeks later!)

 

Basically, if I ask for an erotic massage I expect nudity, mutual touch, and HE. Only about once a year does a massage include oral. I've only had one erotic massage in the last ten years with me receiving anal.

[Massageislife]

I am definitely not hot. I'm older, pretty out of shape and bald. Not a big package either. Not anyones idea of a stud. But I am open and very friendly. Generally happy all the time. I think masseurs pick up on this. They have even commented on my personality. I do alway say I am X and want to book a 60 min erotic massage. I think you need to at least put that much out there. I usually get massage details from PMs here. Been lucky so far.

Dear Onamission, "older, pretty out of shape and bald. Not a big package" surely captures most of us on this site. I think your earlier post is pretty persuasive about how "hot" being a nice guy can be.

 

I'm gonna try to start putting it like you do: "I am X and want to book a 90 (60 is way too short!) min erotic massage."

[Massageislife]

I am also new to the massage scene only getting massages going on less than 3 months. Being that I’m a bigger person, in my initial email to the therapist when they don’t mention they accept people of all shapes and sizes, I always make it clear that I am big and if they have body type restrictions to please let me know. I understand that folks have problems with weight so I’m not here/there to waste anybody’s times. Luckily for me, I have not yet received any rejections other than some therapists never texting me back (that’s my queue to move along). I’m pretty considerate with my massage exchanges and like massagelife has mentioned. I’m never upfront about the details of how I would like my massage. I let the therapist give me the details and just roll with the punches.

 

Now getting to the sensual/erotic and what it means to me.

Sensual: I’m nude on the table while the therapist sometimes may have at least a pair of shorts/underwear to start off the session. During the massage, there are a light brushes here and there between my butt crack, balls, light touches to bring the tingles enough to get me turned on. MT is less inclined during the massage portion, but at times can be acceptable during the HE (depending on the therapist, they may not offer HE).

Erotic: We both start nude and the therapist goes to work with the massage. There is more touch involved and more often throughout the session. The body language is there for more mutual touch and the therapists focuses more on arousing the client and MT most times are encouraged throughout the duration and the HE for both therapist and the client.

 

I too have lucked out where the therapists offers just sensual, they’ve allowed me to touch them while they work on my climax. I do sometimes wonder if they allow such thing because during the massage itself, my hands are kept to myself like a good little schoolboy. I only get to touch when they graze my body and hand accidentally that they are more lenient with the MT towards the end. During the erotic sessions, I too keep my cool during the massage, unless there is encouragement to touch etc, that’s when I take that queue and work with it, but again reserving myself to not look like I’m just there to tug away at the therapists genitals. I’ve been pretty happy with the outcome of all massages I’ve gotten so far minus 2. Both of those times were those guys that give you the magic word “you can jerk yourself off”. Oh how I despise that phrase.

 

Sorry for this long message, but I thought some of these factors that I present may be useful for others.

Dear Aeikaryoko, thank you for posting on this thread; the longer the better! Your comments are useful to me, at the very least!

 

I really appreciate your openness. The courtesy you describe--I aspire to be that client--accounts, I think, for the generally positive outcomes you've had. In my experience, most masseurs have pride in their work and the particular ways they do things. It's one reason why I'm hesitant to ask for specifics before we've met. Most of them give the services their ads say they will but on their own terms and in concert with the chemistry we have.

 

As for your description of sensual massage, I'm reluctant to hire a masseur who doesn't list "erotic" as one of their massage types, since I'm afraid they won't be nude, allow MT, and/or stay away from my cock and balls. Some of the responses in this thread, however, indicate that I may be misunderstanding what "sensual" implies. Your descriptions of "sensual" and "erotic" pretty much track with mine, though. And I agree: DIY release is for masturbation at home and nowhere else!

[Massageislife]

An ex boyfriend introduced me to my very first erotic massage. I was a virgin client:)! Afterwards, I say " I don't think you are supposed to do, what you JUST DID to me during that massage!" He said, "most of my clients are old men who don't look like you." He also added something I have learned through 10 years of getting massages,he said "how erotic the massage will be depends on what is lying on the table." I knew exactly what he meant. Terp

Dear Terp, thanks for posting on this thread.

 

Sadly, we all know that younger and "hotter" guys get more on the table and everywhere. My question, however, is what is the minimal we, no matter what we look like, can expect from a massage advertised as erotic. More than wanting to hear how many extras a specific masseur gave a poster, what I really want from my brothers on this site is a heads-up from them on masseurs who advertise and charge for erotic massage but don't follow through, based on their "chemistry" with the client.

[Massageislife]

My very first massage session I selected a masseur whose ad was more explicit that masseurfinder would allow these day - - something along the lines of "your hour massage will include 45 minutes of massage and finish with 15 minutes of oral play."

 

My second massage came from a guy who gave me an overview of my session when I arrived and indicated that it would include a prostate massage. Although I had been told I would get one, I was shocked when he inserted his thumb to start that section of the massage. (Not so shocked that I didn't go back four weeks later!)

 

Basically, if I ask for an erotic massage I expect nudity, mutual touch, and HE. Only about once a year does a massage include oral. I've only had one erotic massage in the last ten years with me receiving anal.

Dear Sam, thanks for posting on this thread!

 

Wow, I long for ads like that. There are a few masseurs currently who are pretty explicit about their services on rentmasseur, but their actual delivery has unfortunately been pretty debunked by posters on this site.

 

I agree with your list of erotic basics. The majority of my erotic massages went beyond those three in one way or another. Strangely, oral (performed on me) has almost never happened. The reverse (performing on them), kissing, massaging them, and fucking even have happened more often. I guess my dick doesn't look tasty.

[sexypee]

Wow... great post. I have just had a session an hour ago with a masseur in Silver Spring who advertises on Rentmasseur. He delivers above and beyond - therapeutic and erotic... I wonder if there are other masseurs who actually rim as part of the erotics..nice rate though... it’s a sure repeat for me!

[+ aeikaryoko]

Dear Aeikaryoko, thank you for posting on this thread; the longer the better! Your comments are useful to me, at the very least!

 

I really appreciate your openness. The courtesy you describe--I aspire to be that client--accounts, I think, for the generally positive outcomes you've had. In my experience, most masseurs have pride in their work and the particular ways they do things. It's one reason why I'm hesitant to ask for specifics before we've met. Most of them give the services their ads say they will but on their own terms and in concert with the chemistry we have.

 

As for your description of sensual massage, I'm reluctant to hire a masseur who doesn't list "erotic" as one of their massage types, since I'm afraid they won't be nude, allow MT, and/or stay away from my cock and balls. Some of the responses in this thread, however, indicate that I may be misunderstanding what "sensual" implies. Your descriptions of "sensual" and "erotic" pretty much track with mine, though. And I agree: DIY release is for masturbation at home and nowhere else!

It’s not a problem. I appreciate you creating this thread a lot. It helps folks come here and gather information so that they perhaps can have a good experience when booking massages. After all, we’re all in the same boat spending quite a lot of money. I would want everyone who’s spending the money to have a very pleasant experience.

[Onamission]

Dear Onamission, "older, pretty out of shape and bald. Not a big package" surely captures most of us on this site. I think your earlier post is pretty persuasive about how "hot" being a nice guy can be.

 

I'm gonna try to start putting it like you do: "I am X and want to book a 90 (60 is way too short!) min erotic massage."

 

I would agree. Just being slightly more direct could be helpful in the selection process. I like to think that my personality makes up for what I may lack in physicality. I think being personable with the masseur goes a long way. One of my masseurs even said exactly that. I will also say that wanting to be enjoyable to a masseur has inspired me to lose 30 lbs since I've started getting massages here. Needless to say, that has made me feel great and potentially more desireable. @Massageislife where are you located?

[+ Just966]

Great thread and very interesting to hear everyones perspectives. I have had a limited number of massages (other than for strictly therapeutic reasons) and have had only about 5-6 different providers. Only one expressed that it was an erotic massage/male bonding experience that was available. Both of us were naked with a lot of mutual body contact througout with a happy ending at the end for me and potential for more which I actually declined. The other providers I have tried did not specify erotic vs sensual but all were done in the. nude with mutual touch throughout the massage and happy endings for me and at times the masseur at some point. All I will hopefully have additional massages from. My preference is definitely to have the sensual element and mutual respectful body contact througout the massage rather than just at the ending. Interesting to hear the various perspectives!

[Massageislife]

I would agree. Just being slightly more direct could be helpful in the selection process. I like to think that my personality makes up for what I may lack in physicality. I think being personable with the masseur goes a long way. One of my masseurs even said exactly that. I will also say that wanting to be enjoyable to a masseur has inspired me to lose 30 lbs since I've started getting massages here. Needless to say, that has made me feel great and potentially more desireable. @Massageislife where are you located?

Onamission, I live in the heart of m4m massage: Manhattan. Maybe that's what made me believe that massage is life!

 

You're as corny as me. Many of these masseurs are miracles: beautiful gay men who can (and probably do) have all the men they want but still give their all to my poor body. Their earnest desire to give me pleasure has made me want to look better, even though I would never become the young, fit man they'd pick up in a bar. Most of all, I aspire to be their best client, which doesn't just mean tipping them very well (which I do) but treating them with respect and making sure they know how much of gift, a miracle, it is that they give to me.

[Massageislife]

Wow... great post. I have just had a session an hour ago with a masseur in Silver Spring who advertises on Rentmasseur. He delivers above and beyond - therapeutic and erotic... I wonder if there are other masseurs who actually rim as part of the erotics..nice rate though... it’s a sure repeat for me!

Sexypee, thank you for posting on this thread!

 

Yeah, treasure a masseur that rims you--or let's you rim him!--it's definitely not something that can be expected as part of an erotic massage. Both do happen sometimes, though!

[Onamission]

Onamission, I live in the heart of m4m massage: Manhattan. Maybe that's what made me believe that massage is life!

 

You're as corny as me. Many of these masseurs are miracles: beautiful gay men who can (and probably do) have all the men they want but still give their all to my poor body. Their earnest desire to give me pleasure has made me want to look better, even though I would never become the young, fit man they'd pick up in a bar. Most of all, I aspire to be their best client, which doesn't just mean tipping them very well (which I do) but treating them with respect and making sure they know how much of gift, a miracle, it is that they give to me.

 

It's a shame you aren't in L.A. I could at least give you a couple referrals to masseurs who I believe would treat you the way you want to be treated. Massage on my friend. I hope those really good ones make wading though the bad ones worthwhile!

[Massageislife]

Great thread and very interesting to hear everyones perspectives. I have had a limited number of massages (other than for strictly therapeutic reasons) and have had only about 5-6 different providers. Only one expressed that it was an erotic massage/male bonding experience that was available. Both of us were naked with a lot of mutual body contact througout with a happy ending at the end for me and potential for more which I actually declined. The other providers I have tried did not specify erotic vs sensual but all were done in the. nude with mutual touch throughout the massage and happy endings for me and at times the masseur at some point. All I will hopefully have additional massages from. My preference is definitely to have the sensual element and mutual respectful body contact througout the massage rather than just at the ending. Interesting to hear the various perspectives!

Just966, thank you for posting on this thread. I think you've got some beautiful times ahead of you!

 

I agree with you: if the masseur is advertising and charging for erotic massage, I would like him naked and engaging with me sensually, even in the therapeutic part of the massage.

[Massageislife]

It's a shame you aren't in L.A. I could at least give you a couple referrals to masseurs who I believe would treat you the way you want to be treated. Massage on my friend. I hope those really good ones make wading though the bad ones worthwhile!

Onamission, in my journey, there's been a lot more good ones than bad ones. Really only a couple have left me feeling bad about the experience, and all of the we're masseurs advertising erotic who didn't deliver that in any way.

 

And please don't hesitate to make recommendations. I plan on getting out to LA sometime. I have a couple real fantasy guys advertising out there, but I would always prefer one with good guy's seal of approval.

[+ Just Sayin]

I find that the biggest factor in receiving the experience we all desire--good massage with sensual and erotic elements--depends on attitude towards the masseur; if you are friendly and respectful, that goes a long way in having a memorable time