Sex, light, and eyes

[Guest]

I don't usually read the Bay Area Reporter, but I had to come to SF, so I read a copy. Inside was an ad for the Berkeley bathhouse "Steamworks" in which they advertised "Dark Mondays," in which one presumably goes around seeking sexual encounters in the dark. I don't understand this one bit. Do some people really get pleasure having sex with men they can't even see? What's the point? I personally like to have sex with as much light as possible, since I only have sex with handsome men. Also, I don't understand why people close their eyes while having sex.

I personally need to be staring into the eyes of the man I have sex with to have orgasm. I once hired an escort who kept closing his eyes, and I kept asking him to keep his eyes open--instructions which he kept ignoring. I wasn't going to be able to reach orgasm, but he finally kept them open long enough for me to release my juice. I wanted to ask him why he couldn't just keep his eyes open. Was it physically painful, somehow? What's the big deal? Of course, I never hired him again, although he was very handsome and had dark hair and blue-green eyes.

[LaffingBear]

We're all different. The participants on this board could, undoubtedly, opine on a variety of sexual scenarios; some would find them alluring, others repugnant.

 

Many years ago, at the recommendation of others, I tried a bathhouse in LA/WeHo area. I think it was Melrose Baths - not certain.

 

Not only did I learn that bathhouses aren't for me... but, relevant to the thread:

 

I went into the total darkness room. A pitch black room. As a hand... well, presumably a hand.... came out of the darkness and touched me, I loudly exclaimed "NO" and bolted from the room. My entire bathhouse experience lasted perhaps 20 minutes. My entire sex-without-sight experience didn't progress beyond 60-seconds.

 

I'd bet others find the possibility of anonymous, non-visual, encounters intriguing, if not arousing. I dont.

[rvwnsd]

Being very myopic, I wear contacts when having sex so I can see without the bother of glasses getting in the way. However, at very close range it is almost painful to try focusing my eyes, so I often close them. In fact, even folks who don't require corrective lenses can find it hard to focus at close range.

[+ quoththeraven]

I don't usually read the Bay Area Reporter, but I had to come to SF, so I read a copy. Inside was an ad for the Berkeley bathhouse "Steamworks" in which they advertised "Dark Mondays," in which one presumably goes around seeking sexual encounters in the dark. I don't understand this one bit. Do some people really get pleasure having sex with men they can't even see? What's the point? I personally like to have sex with as much light as possible, since I only have sex with handsome men. Also, I don't understand why people close their eyes while having sex.

I personally need to be staring into the eyes of the man I have sex with to have orgasm. I once hired an escort who kept closing his eyes, and I kept asking him to keep his eyes open--instructions which he kept ignoring. I wasn't going to be able to reach orgasm, but he finally kept them open long enough for me to release my juice. I wanted to ask him why he couldn't just keep his eyes open. Was it physically painful, somehow? What's the big deal? Of course, I never hired him again, although he was very handsome and had dark hair and blue-green eyes.

Do you close your eyes when you sneeze? Some people close their eyes when they are close to orgasm or at it.

 

As also mentioned, anonymity is a turn on for some, and darkness enhances the anonymity. Not everyone cares about their partner's looks at every encounter.

[woodworker]

Sexual arousal causes your pupils to dilate, letting in more light -- so you see better in dim light. Like you, Unicorn, I am very visual during sex. Seeing my partner's pleasure is what pushes me over the edge. When I'm a few minutes from orgasm my eyes dilate so wide that people have asked whether I was taking drugs. (I don't. It's natural for me.) At peak arousal, I see perfectly in semidarkness and a bedside reading lamp is painfully bright. The effect disappears after I come. Over the years, I've met other men who had the same experience. I don't think this accounts for the "Dark Mondays", but it may help explain why some men always turn down the lights before sex.

[Guest]

Do you close your eyes when you sneeze? Some people close their eyes when they are close to orgasm or at it.

 

As also mentioned, anonymity is a turn on for some, and darkness enhances the anonymity. Not everyone cares about their partner's looks at every encounter.

 

Yeah, I suppose I get that different people get turned on by different things. To me, sex is a visual experience, so I can't imagine being turned on by something I can't see, but who am I to judge what turns someone on. The escort in question was not about to orgasm, so that wasn't the reason he kept closing his eyes. That part I have more trouble understanding. I could understand better if I were asking him to do something painful, like taking my fist up his ass. Simply keeping one's eyes open just didn't seem like an unreasonable request to me. It made it almost impossible to go all the way. I can't imagine that it would have been that unpleasant for him to keep his eyes open.

[+ WilliamM]

I I personally like to have sex with as much light as possible, since I only have sex with handsome men. Also, I don't understand why people close their eyes while having sex.

I personally need to be staring into the eyes of the man I have sex with to have orgasm. I once hired an escort who kept closing his eyes, and I kept asking him to keep his eyes open--instructions which he kept ignoring. I wasn't going to be able to reach orgasm, but he finally kept them open long enough for me to release my juice. I wanted to ask him why he couldn't just keep his eyes open. Was it physically painful, somehow? What's the big deal? Of course, I never hired him again, although he was very handsome and had dark hair and blue-green eyes.

 

I wish @Truereview could respond. He did tell us about currently living in South America. My response, I enjoy sex with guys who not handsome.

[bostonman]

I can enjoy sex in the dark when it's with someone I'm used to being intimate with - but normally I like a low light, so it can be somewhat dark but we can still see each other.

 

I remember this hookup encounter I had once, some years back - it was a very jock-ish young guy (the kind that I normally don't get, except when hiring -- it's the kind of guy I often go crazy for). I do remember that we both got naked but he really just wanted to jerk me off. He had a playful cockiness about him that really got me turned on. Problem was, that he kept coaxing me to look deep into his eyes as he stroked me. I tended to want to avoid that because frankly, it would get me too aroused too fast. I remember trying to pull away at one point when I was getting close, which made him chuckle (he was clearly enjoying his sensual power over me), but he didn't want to stop, and he wound up getting me off much sooner than I wanted to. And naturally, he wanted me looking into his eyes when I came. Which made the orgasm very intense. I may have forgotten those eyes specifically, or what his face looked like, but I'll never forget the feeling that looking in his eyes was the most vulnerable, naked, and arousing sensation.

 

So yeah, eye contact can be a powerful thing.

[+ not2rowdy]

...Inside was an ad ... in which they advertised "Dark Mondays," in which one presumably goes around seeking sexual encounters in the dark. I don't understand this one bit....

 

I would presume entirely differently what the ad is saying.

 

In Las Vegas “Dark Mondays” would mean that the show (or venue) is closed that day. Very common that most of the major entertainment shows are “dark” at least one day a week to give the performers a break.