Funeral Joke

[+ Avalon]

I know it's straight but I thought it funny

 

* The Widow And The Expensive Funeral *

 

Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.

 

As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.

 

“Well, I’m sure Joe would be pleased,” she said.

 

“I’m sure you’re right,” replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.

 

“How much did this really cost?”

 

“All of it,” said Helen. “Thirty thousand.”

 

“No!” Jody exclaimed. “I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?”

 

Helen answered. “The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food, and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone.”

 

Jody computed quickly. “$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!”

 

“Two and a half carats.".

 

[bnm73]

An old man was on his deathbed, with his closest, dearest, oldest friend at his side.

 

"Jimmy," he croaked, "I am not long for this world. In the bottom drawer of my dresser is a bottle of whiskey. I've been saving it for 70 years. When I die, could you pour it on my grave?"

 

"Of course," said Jimmy, "but would you mind terribly much if it passed through my kidneys first?"

[+ Avalon]

An old man was on his deathbed, with his closest, dearest, oldest friend at his side.

 

"Jimmy," he croaked, "I am not long for this world. In the bottom drawer of my dresser is a bottle of whiskey. I've been saving it for 70 years. When I die, could you pour it on my grave?"

 

"Of course," said Jimmy, "but would you mind terribly much if it passed through my kidneys first?"

 

:):)

[bnm73]

I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery...

 

---ba-dum-dum---

[+ Avalon]

I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery...

 

---ba-dum-dum---

 

I like the way the Parsee religion disposes of the dead.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_Silence