stevenkesslar

Kudos to NBC for getting ahead of it. "Lauer is among the worst I've heard about," [Yashar] Ali [of Huff Post] added. "Not in terms of the kind of misconduct but the way in which he manipulated these women into silence. It's evil, frightening stuff."

I think the reality is that for so long this has been swept under the rug, that it turns out that - geez! what a shocker! - it is massive when it finally is brought into plain view. I've referenced it before, but this is a concept worth repeating. TIME argued that it takes 20 to 30 percent of women to be in positions of power in an industry for there to be a tipping point. Before that, it is ignored or the victim is shamed and blamed. That's a theory, not a fact. But if it's true, there's going to be more of this. It's a time of reckoning. Precisely because it has been swept under the rug for so long, I don't know that anyone has clear numbers on how much of this goes on, or went on. I don't think it's as easy to measure this as, say, the growth in income inequality. Samantha Bee summed it up nicely on her show, recently. She said if you need proof, just ask any woman. One other thing that I'll throw into this pot is an interview Trevor Noah did this week with Esther Perel, other of State of Affairs, which is a book about the nuances and complexity of infidelity in marriages. In the interview, she seemed to argue that the reason that men are historically the ones who cause most infidelity is that women have been more economically vulnerable or dependent in a marriage. As women gain economic power, we may learn that what we thought we knew isn't true anymore. Maybe women's desires are different than we thought. She's speaking from decades of experience delving into the intimate relationships of hundreds of real couples, so she probably knows something. But there is not neatly measurable data. In a "sheconomy," maybe women will act more like men - meaning infidelity, using their power over subordinates sexually. I don't think we really know. But there certainly are anecdotes. While the picture is this is mostly done by powerful men, of all races - for every Trump and Clinton there's a Cosby and Conyers - it can also be Gays and women. Surely, there must be one Lesbian with roaming hands out there, too??? My point is that there is reason to believe this is sort of like the same sex marriage thing. Nothing changes, and nothing changes, and nothing changes. And then there is a tipping point, and everything changes. And we have to rediscover and relearn what we thought we knew.

Thank you for sharing this with us, Gareth. I think you have been an inspiration for all of us.

What girl doesn't? http://fringefamily.typepad.com/.a/6a0105364a8fba970c01630646d67b970d-800wihttp://fringefamily.typepad.com/.a/6a0105364a8fba970c01630325f764970d-800wi

Lady Kockwood, you know that I would never let anyone get in the way of our girlish, gossipy coffee klatsches. No need to feel threatened! http://331mrnu3ylm2k3db3s1xd1hg.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/saving.gif

Years ago I told a friend that I wanted to be the first celebrity Gay male escort to be on Dancing With The Stars. His reply: "Don't you have to be a celebrity first?" So I tried another tack. Shortly after my friend said that, I was sitting next to Guy Fawkes at Trio at Oliver's Palm Springs event and I implored Guy to be the Daddy of my bastard love child, thereby making me a sullied celebrity. (This was around the time that "abstinence advocate" and single Mom Bristol Palin was on DWTS, so I figured Gay Dad Whore would make a good category). Unfortunately, Guy said the Daddy thing only goes so far. So I kind of gave up on my DWTS aspirations. But perhaps this is my ticket. To my knowledge, I have never been raped. Nor have I raped anyone, or sexually harassed anyone. There was that male flight attendant on the flight to Southern Decadence whose ass I touched when I gave him my phone number a decade ago. But even though we never hooked up, he did call me and said he just didn't have time before he left New Orleans. So I can't think of a person who could scandalize me for groping them, or any other form of sexual misconduct. I'm just a plain old vanilla whore. So do you think online personality and non-sexual-harasser Steven Kesslar has a chance to be recruited for the next season of DWTS? If so, I think I'd like to be partnered with Val or Gleb or Alan. That would be a first, too!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEVIN Thanks for showing us how it's done with sexiness, intelligence, and style. Hope you have a wonderful day.

Sure. I'll go there. You could ask the same question about escorts. Does any escort really volunteer to do what they do? Are they really willing? If so, why? Is it because they need the money? Like to pay the rent? And if so, isn't it true that in some sense everyone who hires an escort is forcing them to do something involuntarily? You could take it to the extreme, and argue all sex is rape. Or anything that happens between an escort and a client is inherently forced. After all, why would anyway be paid if it was "consensual?" Doesn't the fact that you are getting something - money, a role in a movie, whatever - indicate that this is, in effect, a form of rape? There are lots of ways to confuse the issue. You could say that unless there is a written agreement indicating affirmative consent, there is no consent. Therefore, it is rape. This is what lawyers are for. You can make any argument you want, in court. You might win, you might lose. But you can argue whatever you want. I once had a tenant apply to rent a room in my house in Portland. He was maybe 21, but he looked 18. I lived across the street from a school. Even though I was open to renting to this guy, he asked me whether that was a school. Once I said it was, he said he couldn't live there. It turned out he was a registered sex offender, and he could not live within a certain distance of certain places, like schools. As I recall, when he was 18 he had a boyfriend who was 15 or 16, and they had sex together. That landed the 18 year old in jail, in part because (as he described it) his boyfriend's parents reported him to the cops and went after him. If he had been 17 rather than 18, he would not have gone to jail. A few months later I ran into this guy - who was not my tenant - and his current boyfriend at Portland Gay Pride. I have no idea how old his boyfriend was, but he looked like he was 15. My point is that the prospective tenant had told me he was always into guys that looked like boys, and that was absolutely clear. The legal definition though, that caused him to end up in jail, is that one of the two was considered a boy, the other an adult. So at the end of the day there are legal definitions for these things. If both guys had been 17, neither would have been adults. This kind of argument was actually used against rentboy - it was alleged that some Asian advertisers may have been underage. You could also argue that, by definition, if a 20 year old man marries a 50 year old man, it is an abusive relationship. You could argue that no 20 year old would marry an "old" man, or no "mature" man would marry an "immature kid." You can also argue whether someone like Keanu Reeves, who was rumored to sleep his way to the top, is a "stud." Is he really a "stud?" Maybe for some people, the young Keanu Reeves did not have sufficient muscle mass to be a "stud." Maybe at the time he was too old, not pretty enough, whatever. My point in using the word "stud" is that the perception is that predators prey on attractive, studly young men. But maybe that's not true. Maybe some predators prefer obese senior citizens. And if you assume Keanu Reeves benefited from a "voluntary" casting couch relationship as an adult, you could argue that is an oxymoron. You could argue that Keanu Reeves was abused, even if he was over 18, and regardless of whether he became a rich movie star. You could argue that David Geffen, who he allegedly "voluntarily" slept with, is an abusive Gay man who preyed on young innocents like Keanu, and that Keanu was raped by Geffen "involuntarily." Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. My point is that there are certain legal distinctions that should be clear, relating to age and consent. But maybe not. Your point seems to be that everything is relative, and it is what people want it to be, in their perception.

Actually, that's the point. I'm not a psychologist, but I think that's what makes it a disorder, a sickness, whatever. He can't control it. You could argue the same with a rapist - why not just hire an escort? And I don't mean they can't control it in the sense that I'm defending it. I mean it in the sense that they are probably sick, and they need help. The picture emerging of Spacey sounds a lot like Weinstein - just over the top, and out of control. I've made the point already, but I can't resist repeating. The nice thing about this all coming out at once is that it should make it clear that this kind of predatory behavior has nothing to do with being Gay or Straight - it has to do with being a predator. And that's also what makes this different than a voluntary "casting couch" relationship. If some young Gay stud who is 18 wants to sleep with a Director to get ahead, as far as I'm concerned, that's his choice. If some young Gay stud who is 17 wants to sleep with a Director to get ahead, maybe it will work out okay. But the Director better be aware that he is making himself jail bait and jeopardizing his career if it doesn't. If some young Gay stud who is 14 doesn't want Kevin Spacey on him, that's a no brainer. This should not be confused with consenting adults who voluntarily put it out - because they are an escort, an aspiring actor, whatever.

This is now turning into a pile on, but it really does belong in the textbook for how not to respond to an allegation of this nature. I am actually surprised. I would not call myself a fan of Spacey, any more than I am a "fan" of thousands of actors who I've enjoyed seeing in films. A few times over the years I've seen him interviewed on talk shows, and he seems to be bright, articulate, charming. And.....duh.......he's an actor. So I would have thought he'd be capable of better than this. If there is any judgment I would rush to, it's that when you corner a serial predator, he or she is always going to be unprepared. I guess it goes with the territory that they just don't think this shit through, do they?

Unfortunately, as you end by saying, we likely won't have to leave this to our imagination.

Thank you. Speaking only for myself, I'm a professional. I was paid for my time, and I consulted on issues like hair, fashion, and sexual finishing. And frankly, I wish Spacey had hired me. He's always had bad hair, and he's never been good at denial. Maybe a little bit of Steven's Sensitivity Training could have helped him avoid this mess.

That was my point, pages ago, exactly as you stated. Being a predator did not get Spacey to the top. His talent did. Once there, his power enabled him to exercise his predatory behavior, which is abhorrent. Period. The nice thing about what is happening now is it is teaching the up and coming Kevin Spaceys that everybody you are predatory to on the way up is potentially somebody who will wave to you and tell their story as you are plummeting back down.

How nice! Our daily dose of White liberal supremacist bullshit. Why do you have to keep quoting what I say and distorting it into something I didn't say? Is it perhaps because your goal is to just troll and insult people who don't conform to your ideas, wherever the opportunity arises? You start by acknowledging and repeating my point, which is that you are highly unlikely to get to the top in Hollywood without having talent. Like Spacey, or Eastwood, or Gibson. Probably I lost you right there. How dare I say anything nice about people whose political views you don't approve of! Then you distort my words beyond recognition, except perhaps in the cozy little bed you share with your handmaiden William. Now I'm a purveyor of a meritocracy myth, who is uncritical, and who argues that talent is extremely rare, or even non existent among, say, Asian Americans. Funny how I didn't actually say any of that. Although it sounds like perfectly fine White liberal supremacist bullshit to me, if that's what you are going for. We surely are all against discrimination against Asian actors, aren't we? Did I mention how my friends still make fun of me because I cried like a baby watching Slumdog Millionaire? But of course, facts or understanding an argument are never necessary for you to pile on about how people who don't agree with you are idiots, or for William to complain that people who push back when you call them racist steaming piles of shit are somehow bullying you. That's the routine, and I must say you exercise rare talent in pulling it off, daily. Although, actually, I think you missed a good opportunity to hijack a thread about Spacey and twist my words to imply that I think most Black actors are untalented, so I must be a racist. But we'll let this one slip, okay? If there's a casting call for White liberal supremacists, I'll be sure to let you know. Meanwhile, please let this thread be a discussion about Spacey's predatory behavior, and save your trolling and insults and White liberal supremacist dogma for the politics section. And by the way, for the record, Hollywood needs to do a better job of finding and honoring actors who are not White, say, like Oprah Winfrey or Dev Patel or Freida Pinto. But that's a different subject, okay?

http://money.cnn.com/2017/10/25/media/mark-halperin-sexual-harassment-allegations/index.html It's a shame. I loved his "Game Change" books. He was in the process of writing one with his co-author John Heilemann about the 2016 race. http://thehill.com/homenews/media/358137-halperins-game-change-co-author-flabbergasted-by-sex-harassment-allegations And, no surprise, Heilemann was shocked, too. The people who are closest to these guys are always surprised, and they probably are just being honest.

What you described is exactly what I meant - whether the standard will be silence, capitulation, shaming the victim, etc., or whether it will be what it has been the last month - don't even think about it, or your career is toast.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2172515/Tom-Cruises-lawyer-blasts-National-Enquirer-cover-article-featuring-false-vicious-lies-client.html Interesting point. Tom Cruise of course comes to mind as one of many that use lawsuits, or threats of lawsuits, to get people to shut up. Right now it just feels like a free for all, and the shit is just hitting the fan and flying everywhere. It's way too early to guess what the future standard will be, or if there will be a clear standard moving forward. My guess is that Hollywood (and Washington DC) will still be places where lots of Gays operate in the closet. But in both places it will probably get harder and harder to be a successful sexual predator or an abuser, Gay or straight.

Both of the comments below reflect that as a society we probably need to be discussing this issue a lot more, because: The negative reaction I had to this statement [by a Gay Hollywood insider] is it almost sounds like it's saying that good Gays finish last, and predator Gays finish first. It doesn't say that, but it does kind of sound that way. I think Spacey is a great actor. My guess is that he made it to the top because he has talent, not because he's a predator. Whatever you say about Hollywood, I've always thought it did a good job of finding and rewarding talent. Including for example forgiving anti-Semites like Mel Gibson if it turns out they are good at directing movies, or forgiving Clint Eastwood's failed routine at the 2012 RNC if he makes good movies. Meanwhile, there are no doubt many really nice Gay gays in Hollywood who just don't have the talent to make it. It would be a mistake to conclude that somehow being a predator gives Gays an advantage to climb to the top. The point is that once you have made it to the top, Hollywood seems like it is a place where it is perhaps easier than other places to use your power to engage in predatory behavior - whether you are Gay or Straight, male or female. I don't think there are any good "official" stats on how many predators are female. I was the one who posted the chart suggesting over 9 in 10 predators are male. I had to search for a while to find anything, because most charts and online information relate to the characteristics of the victims, not the predators. Once I found that chart, I tried to find an attribution as to where the data came from, and didn't. Now another reference has been made that perhaps 1 in 4 perpetrators are women. What seems painfully obvious is that this stuff is so common and is so frequently swept under the rug that there is just a lot of ignorance about who does it, and what to do about it. What is also painfully obvious is that most people who are victims have calculated that it is in their best interest to keep their mouths shut. The more people that join the #metoo club the better picture we will all have of who is doing it, how it can be prevented, and what one should be able to expect if they do come forward.

You could argue that the fact that Rapp went into Spacey's bedroom was a subtle sign of Rapp's latent curiosity about homosexuality. You can't argue that the fact that Spacey came on to Rapp was a clear sign of Spacey's latent stupidity and lack of judgment.

Yes, it's a strange thing, but somehow it turns out that 14 year olds don't always have the judgment of a mature adult. That is why we call them children. I see this as black and white, with no gray zone. Rapp is right, Spacey was wrong. He should have known better. I once had a client who hired me for one hour on a certain date, a few weeks out, and then called me a few days before the scheduled appointment and cancelled. He said he really regretted it, but he had just moved to SF and he had moving expenses he hadn't planned on, so he couldn't afford the appointment. That obviously gave me the picture that this client was not exactly rich. Then he called me a few days later, the day we were supposed to have the appointment, and wanted to know if I could still do it in a few hours. He explained it was his 18th birthday, and he wanted to use the money his parents had sent him for his birthday to get fucked for the first time. So three things became immediately obvious to me. 1. I'm very lucky. How many people get paid to deflower a hot young man on his 18th birthday? 2. I was going to card the guy, to make sure he was actually 18. He was. 3. At the end of the appointment, I told him there was no reason for him to pay me. It was my birthday present to him. Some conservative prude might say I was a douchebag for having promiscuous sex or whatever. The kid stayed in touch, and sent me an email a year or so later after he'd come out to his parents and met his first boyfriend. Granted, I wasn't 26 at the time, but I feel like I exercised the judgment of an adult. Spacey did not do that.

That could be. There is no shortage of stories about females harassing males. In 100 years, if we have a society where the average woman is as powerful as the average male, it could be that we'll learn that it has little to do with gender, and everything to do with the willingness of some humans to use their power to take advantage of others sexually. In the world that we actually live in, this is not the case. According to that chart, it is men over 9 times out of 10. My main point is that even if it is overwhelmingly men, it has nothing to do with sexual orientation. And it would be a nice touch right now if some man outed a powerful woman who sexually abused him - just to make that point, too. By the way, I checked and I could not find a source for that chart I posted. So I'm not 100 % sure it is over 90 % male. But even if that is true, I'm glad you made the point. Woman are perfectly capable of being jerks, too. Just ask Cate Blanchett.

Of course, let's not forget that Spacey also apologized by way of describing this as "inappropriate drunken behavior." http://68.media.tumblr.com/b6c3d3c99dcf17cd1ccc701a8cff4119/tumblr_mvl9yiS89M1raxgu1o1_1280.jpg He could have stopped there, and blamed it solely on the alcohol. Usually, alcohol, drugs, and firearms are the list of usual suspects. I'm sure the entire alcohol industry feels like they've been let off the hook.

Actually, I'd go the other way on this one. I note about a dozen people already "liked" this comment. And I don't disagree with you, Whitman. Rapp is the victim, and Spacey is no hero for having the "courage" to come out as Gay under such circumstances. Spacey now joins a long list of closeted men that we learned were Gay only because we learned they were doing pervy things at the same time. Former Republican House Speaker Denny Hastert. Former Republican Senator Larry Craig. And how many pedophile priests can you name? I don't think Spacey's coming out suggests a causal link between being Gay and child sex abuse. The nice thing about Rapp stepping forward in relation to the Weinstein scandal - I assume that's why he chose now to do it - is that it makes it that much more clear there's a causal relationship between being male and child sexual abuse. It doesn't matter if you are Gay or Straight. Men tend to be the ones who are sexual predators. It is a very positive sign of the times that the initial outcry isn't from conservative groups saying that the problem is that Spacey is Gay. The initial outcry is from groups like GLAAD saying that the problem is not that Spacey is Gay. We can hope that may mean that people have learned, or are learning, that sexual orientation is not the cause of sexual abuse. If anything, the fact that people like Spacey had two things to hide - his sexual orientation, and his pattern of sexual abuse - probably just put more pressure on both him and his victims to keep this under wraps. I think Rapp has done the LGBTQ community a real service by coming forward when he did, and how he did. Yes, there may be bigots who choose to take this the wrong way. But it also has the opportunity to be a Rock Hudson moment - meaning a moment in which people might have a more empathetic view of our community. In this case, of course, I am arguing that Rapp is the Hudson-like figure, not Spacey. But whatever you thought about Hudson picking up Gay hookers on Sunset Blvd., his story probably helped create more empathy for AIDS victims, and for Gays. Rapp's courageous statement could help do the same. As an aside, there was a little bit of this in the really long article Mike Carey posted in the politics section on John Boehner. Boehner mentioned that to him and his wife, Denny Hastert's sex abuse problems came as a complete surprise. Boehner mentioned that Hastert seemed like a nice guy, and the only weird thing Boehner and his wife had noticed is that it was odd that Hastert's wife never came to Washington, and Hastert had an unusually high percentage of Gay staffers in his office. My point is that there is nothing new about closeted Gay guys like Hastert who prey on boys. And sexually predatory behavior is not about to go away. The really good thing about these revelations is it will make it that much easier to call it out, and for future victims to come forward. Hopefully it will also help people to understand why it doesn't help to blame or shame the victim, be they Gay or Straight.

Correction: Good looking guy. Nice cock. Likes to fuck Total package. 10.

I actually had index cards. First, because I can't remember a fucking thing. Although I do remember fucking lots of people. Second, because it wasn't rare that somebody who lived far away might hire me, I might not hear from them for a year, and then when they were back in the US or back in SF they'd hire me again. So it actually did set a nice tone when I remembered things like their name, whether they were a top or bottom, etc., and what they liked. Of course, with regulars notes weren't necessary. I always knew that PK would take me to the finest restaurants, wine and dine me, take me home, fuck me mercilessly, cum all over everything, and then wait a few minutes and do it again. It always amazed me that with such a large cock, it was always the best fuck ever, and it never hurt. In fact, we never slept, because he fucked me all night. And then I would always wake up from my dream, and he'd be asleep next to me.