tenderloin

When one writes about the past, presumably one is trying to create as accurate a picture of the time and place as possible. Sanitizing the past to avoid hurting feelings today is, I would argue, more harmful to anyone than the use of words (however distasteful) in the proper context. Look at it this way: if I wrote a story about the Stonewall riots, I would not have the cops refer to the patrons as "members of the LGBTQ community" - the cops called us faggots and dykes and cocksuckers and.... Whether or not we like it, that is part of our shared history, and should not be forgotten, erased, or sanitized.

I may not be the right person to write such a story? Oy. For the record, I am an author and historian. The idea that one must be the right race/gender/whatever to write anything is repugnant to anyone who truly values freedom of expression.

You still haven't answered my question, and I am genuinely curious as to your answer (and I am not saying that to be combative - I am curious): if I were to write a book and set it in the south pretty much anytime before 1900, what term should I put into the mouths of southern whites when referring to their African American neighbors? If I want my dialogue to be believable and realistic, what should I do?

So if I want to write a novel set in the antebellum south, how do you think I should have the plantation owner refer to the enslaved persons in his custody? "My dear employees?" "My beloved African-American colleagues?" Shall we pretend that people didn't use awful terms to refer to people of other races, ethnicities, religions, etc.? Will that really enlighten the readers? Will that really give them a realistic perspective on life in America in the mid-nineteenth century? It's been said but merits repeating: there is no writer, politician, religious leader or other notable without blemishes. Once the cleansing starts, where does it stop? I am going to go rooting through Octavia's works - I am sure there is something controversial in there.....

If we start scrubbing from history everyone whose statements or writings are not aligned with current-day thinking, there aren't going to be many people left.

so let's pretend that no one in the 1800's used the N word. yeah, that will make it better and give kids an accurate picture of culture back then....

Do tastes and preferences and kinks and our level of adventurousness (is that even a word?) evolve over time? For most of us, probably. But the point of the original post is that no one should be labeled racist (or other-ist) because they find that certain characteristics shared by people of a certain race, ethnicity, size, age, gender, etc. not to be sexually attractive. We can and should treat all people with respect and kindness, and should not discriminate against them in employment, housing, education, etc. but that doesn't mean we have to sleep with them and like it LOL. To give an obvious example, I happen to be of Scandinavian heritage. I have never ever been attracted to guys from Scandinavia. I don't understand why, and I certainly don't discriminate against them in my daily life, but I just don't want to fuck them. And you know what? That's ok. Fin.

Thank you for putting that so well. We cannot choose our preferences and what gets us hot or not, but we can choose to treat people with respect and dignity.

Agreed. My point is that we can take MLK's words out of context and make him look like a bigot. Fetch me the tar and feathers....

Banning literature because we are more sensitive and use more "enlightened" words today is a profoundly stupid thing to do. By reading such works, uncensored, we learn more about the times in which they were written (and the people who wrote them). It is particularly shameful that this act is being perpetrated by the Library Association. We should remember that Martin Luther King, amazing guy that he was, was also homophobic. When do we start to scrub him out of history (sarcasm intended)?

And I could ask the same of you. You seem like a bully.

The ask was implicit in the statement, and you know that. Not sure what the point of your snarky comment was, but this is supposed to be an exchange. I was sharing my point of view. Do you mind?

So now I am being labeled a racist without ever having indicated what my preferences might be or might not be. LOL. Let me make this clear for all of the self-loathing, uncertain gay men reading: 1. If you deny a job, housing, promotion, or other socio/economic opportunity to a person based on their race, ethnicity, color, gender, or other human classification, you are a racist and an asshole. 2. If you are sexually-attracted to another person based on one of the characteristics above, or dick size, shape of nose, alignment of teeth, amount of hair, curve of foot, etc. you are a human being. Don't let the dickheads in this forum make you feel guilty about your sexuality. Enough other people are doing that.

The idea that one chooses sexual attractions is the most stupid thing I have read on this board, and there have been quite a few rivals for that title. There are any number of human characteristics that turn some people on and others off. Some of them we lump into made-up categories like race. Just because you don't want to sleep with someone doesn't mean that we don't believe that person is entitled to all human and civil rights. I don't want to screw women, but I consider myself a feminist. People have been studying and trying to understand attraction for centuries, and they still don't know what makes us tick. But gay men have enough crosses to bear - the last thing we need is the "righteous" telling us that, in addition to our other sins, we are now "racist" or some other "-ist" because we don't find this or that characteristic attractive enough to get us erect.

So you think you choose your attractions? Maybe you do, but I certainly never have. It makes absolutely no sense to me, when I think about the variety of shapes and sizes that attract me (and those that don't), but I certainly never made a conscious choice as to what gets my pecker hard. Life would have been easier if I could have LOL. There is an implication in your statement that if I am not attracted to one ethnic group or the other that its one more thing I'm supposed to feel guilty about. Sorry, not buying.

PM if interested

I had a guy from A4A at my apartment. He was unsatisfactory, failing to do what was promised, but was insisting on a tip as we were dressing. I said no and explained why not. He then asked me to get him a glass of water. While I was out of the room, he took something of value off of a dresser - he would probably get $150 at a pawn shop for it - I didn't realize until he was gone. Lesson learned....

Not sure how to interpret his explanation regarding the pics in his post above, but the fact remains that he was using at least some pics that dated from the time I saw him in Vancouver in March of 2004. Again, he may still be very hot and sexy, but the fact is that we all age -- our body changes over that period of time -- and I think it incumbent upon any pro to keep his pics current. 2, 3, even 5 years old maybe, but 14? You want to "keep oldish pics just to create continuity in my visual identity" label them as such. OK, 'nuff said - move on.

Have a nice day, Mocha

And just to be clear, I am not "putting my needs over" anyone. I am making a business proposition to another adult, a proposition which he is completely free to decline.

You should see a career counselor. I think you are in the wrong line of work.

LOL Good Lord, I am calling an escort not an ambulance. Look, it's simple. You make a choice to forgo revenue when you decide to go to the gym or garden instead of taking a last-minute client, and that is fine -- it's your prerogative. I just don't understand why this becomes a source of complaints from escorts. You don't want last minute appointments? Fine. Just say "no thanks. " There are others who may very well welcome the opportunity to earn a little cash. There are legitimate circumstances which could cause a potential client to have last minute needs. For example, I might be on a business trip and have a dinner get cancelled at the last minute. Suddenly I am in my hotel room with free time. The mind wanders.... However, in those circumstances I will make sure not to call YOU.

I have been in the position, at least half a dozen times, when an escort flaked on me last minute, usually mid-to-late evening when I had arranged to host and was "enthusiastic" about the prospect. So what's a horny guy to do? I would look to an escort site, and if the guy's ad indicated "available" I would ask "how quickly can you get to XYZ address?" For those of you insulted that I am asking you last-minute, my apologies. As that great doyenne of taste and etiquette Nancy Reagan famously advised, "just say no."

Thank you so much for calling him out. You can't advertise your 24/7 availability and then complain when people actually take you up on it. LOL