Hi NYCboi,
There's some dildos that have a more realistic feeling, although they are, in most cases, expensive. Nevertheless, I recommend always to use condoms with dildos & with a real penis also use condoms. If you practice, I would use a realistic size dildo. In my opinion it's better to throw all plugs & unrealistic large dildos. As a top (I was versaltile until some years ago) I beg you to don't ruin your butt with large toys.
A good penis is hard, not soft. A good erection has to be as hard as a dildo. If you put your realistic dildo in warm water (not too hot) you should have to get the same feeling. The difference between a dildo an a real penis is the guy, the way you feel his body & only when you're on PrEP or in a safe relationship, feel is cum inside you. All the good stuff in the sperm get in your blood stream & some guys say they can feel that.