Charlie

Thanks for this reminder, PK. I do have a living will, but I should have it updated, because the person who is authorized to make the decisions is probably no longer competent to do so, and I will have to decide who is. Unfortunately, I also know that the legal documents are not always followed. I held the medical POA for a friend, who didn't trust his family to follow his desires, but I was never notified when he was hospitalized, and I didn't learn of his illness until he was already dead.

This is not meant in any way to denigrate the efforts that the medical staff made to keep that 94 year old man alive. For all I know, he may have desperately wanted to live. I just hope that the "religious beliefs" that prevented anything less than those efforts were his and not just his family's or those of some other authority. I'm sure he could not have known what those last 30 days would be like, any more than I would if I had not been following your posts so closely. I have had a long and probably better life than I did anything to deserve. Knowing what I know now, if I get this disease and my condition becomes critical enough to need to be put on the ventilator, I hope I will be able to refuse it, even if it is not needed by someone else, and can ask to be allowed to depart naturally. I would rather that the heroic efforts be devoted to patients like the 37 year old, who may still have some satisfying life left to enjoy. (I admit that I am somewhat motivated by my own mother, who lived to 102, but who confided to me that she was psychologically ready to go at 94, and really wished that it had happened then.)

OMG. He looks just like my junior year college roommate!

What did he threaten you with to get you to say that?

Our dog is happy about never being left at home alone any longer, since only one of goes shopping, one of us plays tennis, one of us goes for a walk, we don't visit anyone, don't go to our Bridge-playing group, we never go out to eat, our doctor visits are on FaceTime, etc. He is going to be very disappointed when shelter-in-place orders are finally lifted.

A woman friend of mine was enthusiastic about it at first, but she said she stopped watching because she got bored watching every episode play the same note: someone tried to maneuver someone else into getting screwed.

I have never hired a masseur for the purpose of having sex, and I can remember only one occasion in which a massage did turn into a sexual experience (it was also the only time I ever got fucked on a massage table, which is rather awkward). The best massages I ever had were actually from a woman who was trained in shiatsu technique.

The highway construction workers here in CA all seem to be out doing projects, because the traffic on the freeways is so light that it is a good time to do it. Snowbird neighbors of mine here in Palm Springs decided to return to their home in Seattle a couple of weeks ago, and they said the emptiness on Interstate 5 through CA and OR was eerie--they saw more construction workers than travelers.

My tennis club has finally returned to relatively normal, i.e., we can now play without face masks. We need to wear them going to and from the court, but we are allowed to take them off to play. On the court we maintain physical separation both while playing and between games, there are no high fives or fist bumps after a point or set, no hand shakes at the end of a match, and only one of the players is allowed to touch the scorecards. There is no socializing before or after at the communal area, the pro shop is closed, and one needs a key to use the restrooms; even the water coolers have been removed, so we have to bring our own fluids. It is no longer the kind of social experience that it used to be, but at least we get normal exercise.

I have always been an admirer of Marcus Aurelius.

It is not standard practice for the President's name to appear on a government check (it is signed by the US Treasurer), but Trump insisted that they print his name on it as well.

Here in California, the early hours at the store are reserved for seniors.

It's funny that you mention Scrabble, because we used to play often and stopped years ago, but we have gone back to playing together again. However, he couldn't do it on a phone, because he can't remember how to make even a regular phone call. He has also done crossword puzzles for years, and still does a couple every day.

"Dementia" manifests itself so variably that one really needs to discuss individuals rather than the condition in very broad terms. I took a caregiver's education course two years ago after my spouse was clinically diagnosed as having Alzheimer's, but those of us in the course were all having such different experiences with those we were caring for that sometimes it felt like we were talking about very different diagnoses. Some of their patients were angry, even violent, at times, and others were very quiet and even seemingly disconnected. Some patients understood, accepted and tried to adapt to their changing states, while others were in denial or simply couldn't understand what was going on. I was warned to prepare for reactions like paranoid delusions or fear of darkness or water, none of which have developed in our case. I expected that by now my spouse would be fairly incapacitated, but in fact he can still drive a car and play Bridge quite effectively. His main problem is increasing loss of memory, both short term and long term, but even that is not very predictable from day to day, so it is hard for me to know whether to expect him to remember who someone is or how to work the microwave today. The one thing I can be sure of is that he won't be able to learn anything new, whether it is how to play a new game or why he needs to wear a face mask. Some patients' personalities undergo major changes, but so far I have been lucky in that his is no different than it was a half century ago. I am also lucky in that I have a model to work with: his mother, who underwent almost exactly the same changes at the same ages; by the end of her life, she didn't understand where she was and often didn't know who we were, yet she was still recognizable to us. I will still be lucky if that is the worst that happens. Because our doctor was proactive when my spouse and I both became concerned about his memory problems, we were referred to a specialist, who was able to obtain a PET scan test that revealed the typical Alzheimer's dementia plaque on his brain, and then tried some of the drugs which have been found to slow its development. Different ones work differently for different people, and after a couple of attempts, he found one that seems to help without causing unacceptable side effects. But they do become less effective after regular use, and we are both starting to see that happen now. I believe that knowledge and professional intervention is worthwhile, rather than ignoring or encouraging the patient or the caregiver to ignore the signs of dementia in a loved one, uncomfortable as confronting it may be.

What's next? A plague of locusts destroying our crops? An asteroid hitting the earth?

The same happened to me, except that every time I checked back, all it said was that I would receive a letter telling me when I would receive the check. No letter or email has ever arrived, but the deposit suddenly appeared in my bank account last week. It may be worthwhile to check your bank account daily rather that wait for notification from the gov"t.

The Pontiac is a 1947 model, so it is probably a photo from the late 40s. The first traveling my family did after the war was in our 1947 Pontiac.

Love the Pontiac station wagon! But that photo definitely was not taken in 1935.

A month ago, I made a list with phone numbers and email addresses of everyone I thought should be notified if my spouse and/or I were to die during the pandemic, because I realized there is no one individual who would know all those on the list. I also wrote up obituaries for both of us, in the hope that there will still be newspapers left to publish them.

Correct social distancing.

What's the guy 2nd from left doing with his hand?

I got the old SE because I wanted something easy to carry, but I hate trying to text on that tiny keyboard.

What? I have an old iPhone model that is called an SE. What gives?

A friend of mine is also reading that.

Well, Bill Clinton said that oral wasn't sex, so I guess it doesn't define you as gay.