Sidnerf

I just had a session with Arthur. Very nice guy. His skills were okay. He didn't watch the clock at all. We went over by 20mins because he was so thorough and he didn't try to upsell me. He just really seemed to enjoy his work. I will definitely repeat (probably next week!). MT and HE. Because of his hair and beard he will definitely give you Wolverine vibes. 

You’re not alone. I easily have crushes on my masseurs too, and play in my head scenarios of ways i could subtly flirt or connect with them more.

 

Everyone has shared good info here already, but I just like to add that while it’s important that you make sure you enjoy the feeling, but know when it’s time to stop or hold back.

I'm slowly learning. Thank you for your feedback.

I can not believe that no one asked for a link to his masseur crush.

 

You can crush on anyone you want and your money is yours to do with whatever makes you happy. It just sounds like he has boundaries and to him, a client is client and not a romantic partner. In the end, being a masseur is a means by which people make money and from my experiences Every One has a set of boundaries and even though sometimes they get awfully close to that Line.. few will cross it. Hope that helps

It does help. Thank you.

Consider that if you offer your emotions and feelings to another, (regardless of who they are), do so without attachment~ Give it freely without expectation of return~ If it is returned you can be appreciative and grateful... if not returned you have neither exceeded your expectations nor missed something you didn’t have to begin with~ Either way, the result is that you will have both loved and lived, (Lovingly)~

~Tyger~

So poetic! I LOVE IT! Thanks so much for this.

I have developed feelings for my massage therapists. I'm fine with it.

 

There are some that are truly nice guys. I can't deny I am a little sweet on them. Not a problem for me. I tip them well.

 

Anyway, give yourself a sanity check now and then, and just enjoy their company. That's one approach.

Sounds good to me! I like your approach. Thank you.

Seconding all Bluefin and rubmythighs are saying. I had a friend back in the day who used to joke of hiring: "I'm not paying them to massage /have sex with me. I'm paying them to make me believe they want to!" Glib, yes, but I always keep that in mind. They're good at their job. It's not deceitful just talent and maybe some necessary compartmentalization on their part. Good luck!

Thank you for this. I will definitely remind myself of this when getting worked on.

You are certainly not a lone traveler along that path. If you do get effective advice/tips on how to navigate or avoid those feelings, please share. As someone who has been through it (more than once), I say give yourself some time, think it through, and it will pass. In the meantime, enjoy the "massages."

Thanks so much! I will!

The feelings are natural. You just have to learn how to keep them in their place.

 

It’s important to remember that the things you’re imagining about him are made up. Sure, they’re based on your interactions, but no one is ever the person we imagine them to be. You have to put in the time and energy to get to know people.

 

My point is that the more you consciously remind yourself that he’s not actually all the things you’re projecting onto him, the more you’ll be willing to accept him as a nice guy who massages you. That way you can enjoy those sessions and open yourself up to meeting someone else who is more likely to share your feelings.

Love this!!! Thank you for your comment. Especially the "more I'll be willing to accept him as a nice guy who massages me" will make it easier for me to open myself up to meeting someone else. Thank you.

Continue to find and try out other providers. Also, you should get out and date too. Remember you’re someone’s flavor.

I love that "REMEMBER YOU'RE SOMEONE'S FLAVOR"!!! Would love to meet someone. I think as the weather gets nicer and more things open up, it'll be easier to get out and meet. Thank you for your comment.

Sorry for this Bluefin. I think it's ok to have a crush on your masseur as long as it doesn't start to become toxic to your emotional/mental health. I think the majority of guys (especially those who are single) are always in the search for a human connection and human touch is an amazing feeling.

I am single so it's probably alittle worse for me. I definitely need to keep my emotions in check. Thanks for your comment.

And just want to second what @Bluefin said. When you interact with someone else in an intimate setting it is easy to get drawn into the feelings that will invariably come with that type of a connection. It has happened to all of us I am sure at some point.

Thank you WestGuy! I agree.

Remember to not confuse surrogacy for the real thing. I think of providers essentially as straight men who aren't capable of reciprocating feelings and it makes it easier for me to not develop anything. I also have breaks in between where I look for another provider for the next 3 times I'm looking, it definitely helps to change the romantic goggles.

I like your idea about taking breaks in between. I never thought about that. Thanks so much!

Good to hear that you understand that it’s likely only a transactional relationship. Not that masseurs/escorts aren’t people - I’m sure there are times where fondness is reciprocated.

 

I’ve had it happen to me from time to time and what usually helps me is reminding myself it’s likely that I’m having feelings for the provider because they’re really good at their job. Part of what gets repeat clients is treating them in a way that makes them feel cared for, sexy, etc. Plus it’s only natural when physical contact is happening and the pheromones are flying!

 

I’d try moving on once the feelings start. For me personally it would be extremely distracting to put energy into something that is most likely not going anywhere.

You're probably right. I do feel cared for and sexy when I'm with him. I may take your advice and move on because I feel like the feelings are getting stronger (on my end) and it's probably all business for him. He's super nice and I'm not a victim so I need to learn to understand when it's happening. Thanks so much for this Bluefin!

And do you know if the masseur has a boyfriend or husband? A lot of guys are in relationships and that could be why he is declining your invitations to go out “off the clock.”

 

That being said, it seems like this is totally a one-way street. You have been very generous with him but he is keeping it all business. You have to decide if your emotional health will suffer if you continue seeing him given your strong feelings. If so you need to move on. Trust me, there are masseurs out there who would appreciate having such a committed and generous client as you have been with this masseur.

Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate your input. Makes total sense.

Are you single or in an open relationship where the other knows you’re getting massages?

I'm single. Maybe that's part of it?

It seems like every time I find a masseur that I like, I end up having feelings for him.

Without failure I end up with a crush for him. I find myself checking up on him just to see how he’s doing. During the pandemic I even gave him $100-$300 weekly as I felt sorry for him because his business came to an end because of social distancing and people weren’t ready to get massages.

He always declines my social invitations nicely and always has a reason but when we’re together I just get lost in his touch and his ability to find all my spots that turn me on like no other. Maybe secretly I was hoping he would start to have feelings for me too.

Please know that I am not playing the victim here. I understand that (for him) it’s just business. I’m wondering if anyone can offer me any kind of advice or tips on not developing feelings for my masseur or how to avoid them?

Any experience with JJ?

He travels a lot. Coming back to my location again soon. Would like a little feedback

Thanks in advance

 

https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/39799/

I used him a few times before the pandemic. Super nice guy and had good skills. He provided MT and HE. Would totally use him again.

Some providers seem to be working on a "flexible, dynamic pricing method" where they charge what they think they can make depending on time of the month, business volume, mood, weather, horoscope, or whatever else strikes their mood. This is not wrong, per se- but does require a potential client to come to the table ready to ask questions, negotiate pricing if needed, and confirm what's being delivered. This is where many of the providers fall down, they refuse to engage in those chats, and for clients not used to having these chats they generally just cough up whatever the guy is asking for on that day. However as many have pointed out, it's a turn-off for a lot of potential clients.

Very well said. Thank you.

The settings on Rentmasseur aren’t very flexible. You can only post one in call rate and one outcall rate. I have different rates depending on how long someone wants (an hour, 90 minutes, 2 hours etc) and you can’t show those. Some masseurs may have different rates also for the style of massage. This may mean it’s easier to put “ask me” in the box.

But in general I agree that often it’s because they’re pricing on the ability to pay or they’re using the ‘low cost airline’ pricing model where everything is an extra incurring an extra charge. If you start taking to a provider and he wants extra to massage naked, extra to touch x or y and extra for some ‘activities’ then it’s probably not going to be a relaxing massage.

 

I’m on Rentmasseur and I just publish my rate for an hour on there. It’s all inclusive for sensual massage which in my service includes sexual activity including penetration if they want that. The only time I’d make an extra charge is if they want me to travel a long way (time is money) or they want unusual or very bespoke services like a couples massage or 4 hands etc.

Thank you so much for this. You broke it down so clearly. I didn't realize about the settings on Rentmasseur. I love how you handled it.

I’m usually 90% of the time just move on if they listed “ask” on their price! I do message some masseurs tho who posted a rate in which I can fairly remember the posted rate before they switch to “ask” mode LOL. Gotta make your moneys worth man! That remaining 10% is if I’m really interested with the masseur and see if my bargaining powers will prevail, it always does ?

Thanks for this. I love it.

“Ask” = He‘s either unprofessional, confused, new to the market, and/or a scammer.

 

None of which I find appealing.

Too many fish.

I move on.

Me too.

If you ignore the guys who post "ask" you could be losing out on a good situation. Maybe one rate does not suit all fantasies, so he invites you to discuss it further, hoping to cater a massage that will thrill you. My mommy said "It doesn't hurt to ask!"

That's fair. I never thought about it like that. Thank you.

One time I did ask as requested and he replied back with $200 via text. I declined and he then responded about me being a cheapskate and he doesn't want to deal with cheapskates anyways.

How crazy is that!? He could've politely declined without being so nasty. Doesn't he realize that he could've just lost a potential returning client?

Does anyone know why some Masseurs will post "ASK" when it comes to pricing? I'm sorry if this has been discussed before but I'm so curious as to why they don't list their service price. Truthfully, when I see it attached on a masseur's profile, I move on. I totally understand if they want to "up" their price for extra service or time, but I think they should at least give a base price to start off with.

I have had Pavlik work on me at least 4-6 times (early last year) before the pandemic. Super nice guy and allowed MT and HE. His massage is on the lighter side but he was very thorough. At one point I needed some attention on my lower back (because of an injury) and he gladly focused on that for me. He's on the quiet side but would speak once I initiated a conversation. Now that I've seen his pics again, I may have to give him a call! I found him to be very cute. :-)