The Phoenix

It’s maddening, but it doesn’t surprise me. Honestly, the way I see it, I should be so lucky as to get hired. And folks have their reasons for hiring. They don’t need my judgment.

I’ve never had a client ask to pay electronically. I suppose they don’t want anything that leads back to them.

I go all the time! I moved to NYC from a place that doesn’t have very many gay bars and where holding a guy’s hand on the street (or even being nice to another guy in a “straight” bar) might get you jumped depending on the time of day. It’s nice to feel safe somewhere.

Not many here that actively participate.

Bummer. Maybe I’ll start a separate thread later to see who I can get together. Would be cool to have some kind of support system among ourselves.

Nah

Thanks for the heads up! Also, where are my other NYC providers at? Would be nice to know each other and have that support.

Very likely. I know this will “go through one ear and out the other” because the client to escort ratio here is lopsided and our commentary is often overlooked or undermined... nor are there a generous amount of NYC escorts that can attest to the situation in New York. But I lived in NYC for 7 years. There are no “sting operations.” Manhattan is small; the escort community is tiny. If anything like this was occurring or was going to occur, it would spread like wildfire and we’d all know. If anyone has been “arrested” for escorting, there was an additional element to the story that summoned the police but I’m confident it was not based solely on escorting. The NYPD doesn’t give a fuck.

This is good to know. I've been mostly working with regular clients, but just when I was thinking of advertising for new ones, I saw this! Should I be too worried about "stings" or nah?

It happens every now and then. I've had like trace amounts of blood after rough sessions, but never enough to warrant seeing a doctor about it. I wouldn't worry unless the blood was severe or it was happening every time.

I interpret it as “you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Most of the year, it's Sunday. I always see a spike in activity if something is happening in the city (Pride was a big one, for example). Most of my business is during the week, weekends are so-so, and Sundays are especially light.

I’m usually the one who keeps track of time. I don’t want my clients to do that. I’d rather they not think of the time at all—it gets them all in their head, worrying about using the time just right. So I try to find that balance of being mindful of time without being a clock-watcher, because the latter is just plain rude and affects the dynamic in a way I don’t like.

You're correct, not a strip club—it's a leather/fetish bar—but they have different events like jockstrap night, leather/gear night, daddy/boy, etc. I'd say give it a shot and see if it's your thing. Those events are pretty well-attended, so I'm sure you'll find someone, if that's what you want.

This may not be for everyone on this Forum so stop reading if this thread isn't your thing.

 

A couple of days ago I was with a young trans guy (about 23...?) with whom I had some play that edged toward the "energetic" (his request) and he bled a tiny bit inside. He got really upset and disappeared to the bathroom for a few minutes. When he returned he said 1) this hadn't happened in over a year (he has been taking hormones longer than that), and, 2) he hated his body. I assured him that it was likely the result of my overly-aggressive play rather than something systemic. I'm not sure he was convinced and remained fairly subdued the rest of the night and next morning.

Question: if someone remains on hormones and hasn't menstruated in over a year is it possible it would reoccur? I'd like to see him again and will take it easy but would like to know a little bit more about this.

It is possible for someone to bleed from injury (doesn't sound like a period), and it's nobody's fault: it's just that a lot of trans men experience dysphoria about their genitals and that might prevent them from learning how to take better care of themselves during sex. In some men who are on testosterone, the lining of our reproductive organs can sometimes weaken, which makes it more prone to tearing during rough sex. This is especially true if you're one of those guys for whom testosterone has made it harder to get wet down there. A good lubricant can take care of that.

This happened to me last year, with a client who did not stop, so I want to thank you for being so sensitive towards your escort. It sounds like that's what happened to him, it's definitely no one's fault, and he'll probably be alright. You two will have to work out how rough you can get.

I'm happy to answer questions if you have any! When I'm not a gainfully employed hoe, I do a lot of activist work, including educating trans men on their sexual health. If you have a question, I probably have the answer.

I always ask a client if they want me to supply. (I always bring condoms because I’m allergic to latex and I know what brands are safest for me, but there are so many varieties of lube out there!) Usually they have their own brand and I don’t have to bring my own. For clients who don’t have anything at all, or who are new to hiring, I already have a pack pre-made with everything I think they might want.

Sorry that’s happened to you! Following this because I’d love to know, too. I’ve never asked for a deposit but I wonder if that might be a good idea. Every time a client cancels, I lose. I haven’t found any way to get around that yet.

Men have attempted to pick me up at Chelsea Pier, but there are so many cops in that area that I've never taken them up on the offer. It's just too risky.

Shame. I actually quite liked Head Over Heels. It wasn't the best thing I'd ever seen, but it is the representation Broadway sorely needs. I hope it sets a precedent in casting and we don't go back to making 90s movie adaptations. Unfortunately, I know that's exactly where we're headed...

Definitely fair to ask. I took a lot of my ads down for safety and stuck to regulars, but some of my clients are equally discreet... if they hadn't reached out to me after I took my ads down, I wouldn't have known that they still wanted to meet! The worst he can do is ignore or block you, but there's no harm in trying. If you don't try, you won't know.

I'm kind of an asshole when it comes to flirting. I like to play with my catch a little bit. I have a pretty robust sense of humor, but my delivery is very dry and deadpan. I like teasing a man and watching him squirm when he thinks I'm being totally serious. Better still, I like a man who can pick up on what I'm doing and tease me right back. If all I want to do is fuck, I'll usually just cut to the chase; but a man who can keep me physically and mentally engaged will always have me coming back for more.

Visiting a gyno is a very challenging thing for a lot of trans men. It can inspire a lot of anxiety and dysphoria. But Buck is spot on about something that affects transmasculine folks, even after years of transition: the intense, seemingly inexplicable pelvic pain.

Testosterone almost immediately causes you to stop ovulating and menstruating. As a result, your reproductive system isn't in use. Like any organ (if it were to be suddenly cut off or shut down) it starts to atrophy after an extended period of disuse. Buck's case is extreme but more common than people think, and he is exactly right that gynecologists don't know how to treat it. That ignorance is borne out of a lack of information about trans men and what they need.

I have had this exact problem and as a result am having my hysterectomy in a month. Luckily, mine didn't rupture like his, but the pain is similar. I also had the experience of going to multiple doctors, having multiple pap smears and scans, and being told that I was imagining the pain. (One doctor believed I was inventing the pain as a way to gain access to surgery.) It wasn't until just two months ago that I finally found a doctor who was versed enough in trans care to know I was telling the truth.

I highly encourage any and all trans men who even think they're experiencing the same thing to have it checked out. Yes, it sucks going to the gyno, but do not let minor cramps escalate into debilitating pain. Take care of yourselves, boys!