MattOSUGRAD

When a "safe only" escort has BB videos, I usually assume that it's with someone they know really well and I am OK with that. I personally prefer safe only escorts (especially if I don't know them). Even if they do BB, I know that they probably won't throw a hissy fit if I ask them to cover up.

I recommend that you ask the escort if barebacking is possible. I’ve had several who state that policy but don’t follow it, especially if I’ve recently been tested for STIs and results were negative. I suspect that some state the policy to give them the choice after they meet the client.

Oh boy you just opened Pandora’s box. Wait for the judgement to start in 3,2,1….
 
I have noticed the exact same thing about what their profile says and what pictures and video show. There is a thread going about Zandy in SF and this same comment was made. It is a bit of a difficult spot to be in because you ask if they BB then they may get offended even when their videos show them raw dogging
 
my suggestion would be to not bother with them if at all possible and focus on guys that day ask me or anything goes.
I wish you good luck finding that right pro
 
And I wish you good luck with the oncoming onslaught of people with higher moral and medical standards than you and I have and want nothing more than an opportunity to disparage your personal choices with sex.

I am into pig sex yet I use condoms with clients. I think it is something that takes negotiation to go BB, at least for me

There have been other discussions of this in the forum in the past, and I'm sure others will direct you to them. I've always taken the view (without proof) that what an escort puts in their ad is what they are prepared to do with a client, not necessarily what they are prepared to do in other circumstances. So 'safe only' isn't a guarantee that they only play safe any time, only that they only want to do so with clients. Likewise with whether they are tops or bottoms.

I'm so sorry about the extended downtime. I woke up to an email from Orin saying the site was only displaying a blank white page. Since I offered to help previously, he took me up on the offer.
 
Once I could login, there was a bunch of things wrong on the current server to the point it was just easier to pickup everything on the current site and move it to somewhere I control and know how to support.
 
This was literally trying to pickup and move everything while everything was on fire, so it was not "perfect". I had to do a bunch of crazy stuff to get things working. There are still a bunch of things I still need to fix, but at least we're back in a "mostly working" state!!

Such sad news, my thoughts and sympathies are with all those near and dear to Daddy. May he rest in peace. He had an amazing positive impact on so many individuals, and he will be missed incredibly.

Such sad news, my thoughts and sympathies are with all those near and dear to Daddy. May he rest in peace. He had an amazing positive impact on so many individuals, and he will be missed incredibly.

Such sad news, my thoughts and sympathies are with all those near and dear to Daddy. May he rest in peace. He had an amazing positive impact on so many individuals, and he will be missed incredibly.

Such sad news, my thoughts and sympathies are with all those near and dear to Daddy. May he rest in peace. He had an amazing positive impact on so many individuals, and he will be missed incredibly.

Such sad news, my thoughts and sympathies are with all those near and dear to Daddy. May he rest in peace. He had an amazing positive impact on so many individuals, and he will be missed incredibly.

Such sad news, my thoughts and sympathies are with all those near and dear to Daddy. May he rest in peace. He had an amazing positive impact on so many individuals, and he will be missed incredibly.

Such sad news, my thoughts and sympathies are with all those near and dear to Daddy. May he rest in peace. He had an amazing positive impact on so many individuals, and he will be missed incredibly.

I would like to make a sincere suggestion to ALL posters here. What is needed to sustain this site over the long haul is a "regular income". For years I subscribed to Sean Cody at about twenty five dollars a month and I didn't go to the poor house. Three years ago I subscribed a specific monthly contribution to this site and guess what I haven't gone to the poor house nor has the FBI come to my door looking to send me to jail. What we need to do is create a situation where Daddy doesn't have to come periodically hat in hand with a post pleading for contributions. If enough of us commit between $25.00 and $100 on a monthly basis the problem will be solved.
Come on guys lets open up our bank accounts and start making monthly contributions to a site we all claim to value. If we don't step up the site will, in the not too distant future, disappear and become a memory lesson for what we didn't do.

If people donated half as much as they complained, this site wouldn't have funding issues

No, I think there is nothing wrong with spending time with escorts from a moral perspective. To me morality should be based on how your actions effect other people. As long as you are two consenting adults, there is nothing harmful about the relationship between an escort and his client.
 
I think potentially it could be morally harmful if it effects your relationships with others. Like if your loved-ones would be ashamed or hurt if they found out you were engaged in this hobby since many in society consider it "wrong." This is why I really do my best to keep this entire thing to be my business only. I really don't discuss this with any friends or family at all except of course on the forum. But others may not have loved-ones that would care as much about this.
 
I do think you need to watch out for issues of consent and there certainly could be human trafficking issues in escorting. But if you are careful and thoughtful about this hobby, there is really nothing morally wrong with it at all.

Well, unfortunately it got worse. This is verbatim back and forth today. Please don’t be too harsh of my texts, I was trying to build a bridge instead of burn it.
 
11:35AM (17 hours after agreed upon meeting time)
“Matt, I completely mixed my days up, and am mortified I missed our appt yesterday. I was just checking messages and saw your texts. I can call you later tonight to talk, I am so sorry you got hotel and dinner without me!”
 
11:52AM
“It’s ok, I know things happen. I felt pretty sad, but I honestly was worried something happened to you.”
“I’m free till 12:30 if you want to call me now (if it works for you), otherwise I’m free after 4PM.”
 
12:04PM
“I wish I had a better reason for why I missed you, but I will own it. ?”
“I am with my dad now he’s down at Easton Lexus getting a new one.”
“I can call you after 4 when you’re free. ?”
 
12:08PM
“It happened, I was sad, but I am more so happy you are ok, and I’m not one to hold a grudge.”
 
12:26P
“You’re an Angel. Thank you for that, it’s been a bizarre few days.”
 
4PM
 
5PM
 
6PM
 
7PM
 
8PM
 
8:44PM
“Hey, I’m probably going to head off to bed around 10:00 or 10:30 as I have an early day at work tomorrow. Was looking forward to talking with you, perhaps we could try for tomorrow if you’re not able to talk in the next hour-ish?”
 
8:44PM
“I can call you sure.”
 
Phone call ensues, very awkward as he just says hi and that he just got home from having dinner with his Dad and Brother and then is silent. I’m like, can the director please give him his line of, I’m sorry again for ghosting you ...
 
No such luck, just awkward silence to which I just say, so you had a bizarre last few days? Conversation lasts a few more minutes, no meaningful apology AND no attempt to say, let me make it up to you. I mean I’m not expecting something for free but can you at least try to say something.
 
As Detox would say, “I’ve had it!”
 
I don’t really want to wallow in this anymore, I need to shake the dust off my boots and move on. The lesson I’ve learned is that when you’ve been ghosted, don’t try to reach back out, because if they are truly sorry, they’ll reach out to you. And if your lucky to have someone appear sincere, buyer beware.
 
Take care all, I’m probably gonna take a break from the forums for a week or more. Wishing you all health and safety.

Well, unfortunately it got worse. This is verbatim back and forth today. Please don’t be too harsh of my texts, I was trying to build a bridge instead of burn it.
 
11:35AM (17 hours after agreed upon meeting time)
“Matt, I completely mixed my days up, and am mortified I missed our appt yesterday. I was just checking messages and saw your texts. I can call you later tonight to talk, I am so sorry you got hotel and dinner without me!”
 
11:52AM
“It’s ok, I know things happen. I felt pretty sad, but I honestly was worried something happened to you.”
“I’m free till 12:30 if you want to call me now (if it works for you), otherwise I’m free after 4PM.”
 
12:04PM
“I wish I had a better reason for why I missed you, but I will own it. ?”
“I am with my dad now he’s down at Easton Lexus getting a new one.”
“I can call you after 4 when you’re free. ?”
 
12:08PM
“It happened, I was sad, but I am more so happy you are ok, and I’m not one to hold a grudge.”
 
12:26P
“You’re an Angel. Thank you for that, it’s been a bizarre few days.”
 
4PM
 
5PM
 
6PM
 
7PM
 
8PM
 
8:44PM
“Hey, I’m probably going to head off to bed around 10:00 or 10:30 as I have an early day at work tomorrow. Was looking forward to talking with you, perhaps we could try for tomorrow if you’re not able to talk in the next hour-ish?”
 
8:44PM
“I can call you sure.”
 
Phone call ensues, very awkward as he just says hi and that he just got home from having dinner with his Dad and Brother and then is silent. I’m like, can the director please give him his line of, I’m sorry again for ghosting you ...
 
No such luck, just awkward silence to which I just say, so you had a bizarre last few days? Conversation lasts a few more minutes, no meaningful apology AND no attempt to say, let me make it up to you. I mean I’m not expecting something for free but can you at least try to say something.
 
As Detox would say, “I’ve had it!”
 
I don’t really want to wallow in this anymore, I need to shake the dust off my boots and move on. The lesson I’ve learned is that when you’ve been ghosted, don’t try to reach back out, because if they are truly sorry, they’ll reach out to you. And if your lucky to have someone appear sincere, buyer beware.
 
Take care all, I’m probably gonna take a break from the forums for a week or more. Wishing you all health and safety.

Well, I do have some good news, I was able to get a massage. I did not go into any of the details about the ghosted date and the masseur was so delighted by my oral skills that he even offered to stay over off the clock if I wanted to continue. Of course I said yes, and he was came not too long thereafter. He commented that it felt really great and he hadn't done that with many clients. That did make me feel a little better.

Well, I do have some good news, I was able to get a massage. I did not go into any of the details about the ghosted date and the masseur was so delighted by my oral skills that he even offered to stay over off the clock if I wanted to continue. Of course I said yes, and he was came not too long thereafter. He commented that it felt really great and he hadn't done that with many clients. That did make me feel a little better.

Lots of really great questions!
 
I wanted to meet for dinner as I’m a rather shy person and don’t meet a lot of people (providers or otherwise), and I previously avoided someone I didn’t feel comfortable with by meeting for dinner first.
 
With this guy, I was especially attracted to him and decided I’d go ahead and book three hours with the intent of dinner and hotel afterwards. He seemed completely fine with it and even said he looked forward to it as recently as yesterday. The reason I chose a hotel is I felt like I would be more comfortable on neutral ground. Suffice it to say, will probably just do dinner first from now on so I can get a feel for the provider.
 
There are maybe 8 providers in the city where I live. I am looking for a regular provider and tend to avoid the ones that are passing through.
 
As requested in another post, I will provide an update if I do hear from him. I know this is exceptionally cliche, but I felt like we had made a connection over the texts back and forth, and I am genuinely concerned about him. In the end, it will be whatever it will be. He will either reach out at some point and explain what really happened, or “really happened”, or I’ll never hear from him again.
 
I appreciate all of the responses, as that’s all I was needing ... perspectives to help me pull back from the situation and look at things differently.